your preaching to someone who knows the ropes...honey...I've been clean for 13 months. I saught help and got it. 12 step meetings...outpatient...all that. The desire to use is always going to be there, it's just a matter of whether I choose to use or not. Today, I choose not to use. So, I'm selfish...it's the nature of addiction. I have hurt many people along the way, but eventually, if I stay clean, there will be a time and a place to make ammends....but for now....I'm just expressing my honesty about my use.