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aboyfrombklyn

Are You Ever Afraid Of....

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getting close to someone because you fear it may not work out?? I know that I'm just getting over breaking up with my ex, but I'm finding myself wanting to get really close with this girl from work now. It's like we just clicked. We've been hanging out constantly and having a great time. I've been trying to give her some space, but I just find her asking me to hang out all the time, and I always want to. I'm just afraid that I may get close to her and start to feel vulnerable. I don't know what to do.:confused:

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I think my ex felt the same way.

She was cheated on by her previous, and when i asked her out, she said she was not ready. I kinda figured that she needed some time, so i gave her that.

When school started again in Sept., one thing led to another, and we were together. Things were going fine, but i always realized that she would not give so much of herself as i had (prolly cuz she was hurt in the past)

I can understand being afraid, but you also gotta work with the person and know what they expect out of it. If one isn't giving as much as the other, there needs to be truthful communication about what you 2 expect and how to go about an

"easy" relationship.

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Originally posted by aboyfrombklyn

getting close to someone because you fear it may not work out?? I know that I'm just getting over breaking up with my ex, but I'm finding myself wanting to get really close with this girl from work now. It's like we just clicked. We've been hanging out constantly and having a great time. I've been trying to give her some space, but I just find her asking me to hang out all the time, and I always want to. I'm just afraid that I may get close to her and start to feel vulnerable. I don't know what to do.:confused:

all the time. i haven't been in a relationship for over a year now,with good reasons...my bf's always end up being too clingy, bitchy that i never seem to spend time with them, and...the worst shit...buy me tons of shit to win my love...i can't stand guys like this..and for some reason, i always seem to find so many around...relationships are for suckers :tongue:

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dude...no offense...but SHUT THE FUCK UP AND HAVE FUN!!!!!!

We all have our issues and trials along with tribulations...but working and planning every move strategically will get you no where!!!!! This isn't balancing your check book we're talking abou there...we're talking about your love life...

Feelings are as natural as natural gets...just let it flow and enjoy....;)

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Originally posted by aboyfrombklyn

getting close to someone because you fear it may not work out?? I know that I'm just getting over breaking up with my ex, but I'm finding myself wanting to get really close with this girl from work now. It's like we just clicked. We've been hanging out constantly and having a great time. I've been trying to give her some space, but I just find her asking me to hang out all the time, and I always want to. I'm just afraid that I may get close to her and start to feel vulnerable. I don't know what to do.:confused:

I know it seems hard to quantify, but I'm gonna ask anyway. In your conversations with this girl, what is the division of talking (percentage of you listening to talking)? And more importantly, what's the overriding subject matter of those conversations?

I know it may seem hard to define, but please try. I have a theory.

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thats my biggest problem. i cant let anyone get close to me. one of my X's called me a walnut....hard to crack..but so much goodness rests inside...and i guess shes right. im afraid i might dissapoint..or i might reveal to some of these ppl my flaws..and i sure as hell dont want to do that. for the most part im afraid of people i get close to being dissapointed with the real me.

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That isn't good you need confidence........ You have to wake up in the morning look at your self and go I love me. Not all concieded and proud but, be happy, your you....................... if someone can't see it then there lose,...........

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Originally posted by marcid21

dude...no offense...but SHUT THE FUCK UP AND HAVE FUN!!!!!!

We all have our issues and trials along with tribulations...but working and planning every move strategically will get you no where!!!!! This isn't balancing your check book we're talking abou there...we're talking about your love life...

Feelings are as natural as natural gets...just let it flow and enjoy....;)

what she said. :D

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Allll the time... And it's not that I don't let people see the "real" me, it's that I'll only let them see a small part of me... the more you reveal the more ammo they have to fire back at you... no one's seeing the rest until I trust that they're not gonna throw anything back in my face...

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the problem with someone not getting close because s/he is afraid of it not working is that as soon as i detect such feelings, it makes ME not want to get close.

i guess i'm not really used to people not wanting to be close to me (and i don't mean to be egotistical, but it's just the way my lovelife has gone) and thus it is both irritating and confusing when it happens.

it's like when you walk towards someone and the person moves to the left when you move to the left, so you move to the right but he moves to the right too.. and u end up dodging back and forth without really getting where u need to go.

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I'm a really good boyfriend if I'm given a chance... generous, considerate, caring, passionate... but a girl has to give me a chance to show that.

I used to be intimidated by women -- and therefore hold back from them -- because I was afraid that they wouldn't give me that chance, that they'd find me boring or ugly or [insert any insecurity here] without getting to know me.

But the truth is, any girl who does thinks that of me isn't worth my time, and I'm better off learning that sooner rather than later, so I can get on with my life.

So... if you think she's worth it, go for it. If there are questions to be asked, ask them. If you want to kiss her, try and see what happens. If you want to tell her something, just say it... but for God's sake, don't leave your life in limbo... :)

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Originally posted by aboyfrombklyn

getting close to someone because you fear it may not work out?? I know that I'm just getting over breaking up with my ex, but I'm finding myself wanting to get really close with this girl from work now. It's like we just clicked. We've been hanging out constantly and having a great time. I've been trying to give her some space, but I just find her asking me to hang out all the time, and I always want to. I'm just afraid that I may get close to her and start to feel vulnerable. I don't know what to do.:confused:

Don't be afraid, maybe it won't work out in a romantic sense, but you could find a very good friend. Just let things happen.... If you are constantly worrying and wondering, you might just miss all the fun that could lie ahead:D

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Originally posted by tastyt

Allll the time... And it's not that I don't let people see the "real" me, it's that I'll only let them see a small part of me... the more you reveal the more ammo they have to fire back at you... no one's seeing the rest until I trust that they're not gonna throw anything back in my face...

Perfectly said! I don't fully open up to very many people.....I'd say only a few of my close friends really see all of me. In a way though I like that...until I can trust someone and feel comfortable with them, I don't want to open up..just allows you to be vulnerable and leads to being hurt! Guess this could also be do to the fact I like being in control of things. :confused:

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