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Guest gabo

Do you consider a person a loser if they arent married

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Guest gabo

why do some people think that If yo udont get married by your 30s yo uare a loser ?

this chick I know said that if she isnt married by her 30th bday that she will marry the next guy she dates. I think that's crazy, how can you do that just cause you think youll be a failure to be single in your 30s.

anyone else think like that?

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. . . I think the answer to this question is too complex to answer on a message board, but I'll give it a try . .

. . I think it comes down to a slight lingering sense of unfullfillment . . . ya know? . . In this day and age of sex in the city and instant gratification, whatever happened to actually sitting down and trying to find that special someone? It's almost like . . yeah, we got to party . . but we never got the marriage and the house and kids, not just for the sake of having them, but for the sake of going through the experience with someone special . . . You know? . . .

. . eh, its hard to explain . . . and I don't think you're gonna get alot of good answers out of this board's age demographic . . :rolleyes: . . .

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That's messed up. Does she want kids really badly, or is it just that she just doesn't want to be a spinster at the ripe old age of 30? Wanting children is the only possible justification I can think of; but then again, how unfair would it be to bring a new human being into this world when you're in a sham of a marriage.

I wouldn't even want to get married before I'm 30.

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Guest gabo

I am the total opposite of that... I just want to be happy. and if I have to wait till I am 50 to find the woman of my dreams then Ill wait till I am 50. The idea of just getting married to just get married cause I am getting older is so foreign to me.

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Guest gabo
Originally posted by tastyt

That's messed up. Does she want kids really badly, or is it just that she just doesn't want to be a spinster at the ripe old age of 30? Wanting children is the only possible justification I can think of; but then again, how unfair would it be to bring a new human being into this world when you're in a sham of a marriage.

I wouldn't even want to get married before I'm 30.

I think she does want kids too, but thats not even the reason why she was in a rush to get married. She just always said that people who cant get married by their 30s are either ugly or just a failure in life. and that is such a fucked up statement.

I have heard of many women say things like this... like if you dont get married you are a failure as a woman... ugh.

I have even been on dates with women who said things like that and that was my cue to hurry the date up and never talk to them again.

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...i think it's worse having immigrant parents like myself that got married at like 14...ironically, my dad didnt marry until he was 34, so when he says shit like, "Hey, you're yonger cousing got married...how does that make you feel...", I just remind him of his own past...

you would have thought my sister was going to spontaneously combust at the age of 30 having not been married or with child...but what do you know...she lived...and now has a beautiful baby and happily engaged at the age of 34...

*phew*

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thing is, women KNOW that their bodies lose of attractiveness over time. when she´s already in her 30s, she will be FAR less approched than in her 20s, their clock is in fact ticking as they suddenly get less and less CHOICE. a guy in his 30s or 40s that owns good money (= good provider) will rather date girls in their 20s than in their 30s or 40s, they KNOW they are wanted.

you know what´s funny? when guys are young they jump on every branch they get offered. over time though, when they get older, they begin to CHOOSE, they can now afford to SCREEN women, because they are now marriage material which is of GREAT VALUE.

on the other hand, women can afford to CHOOSE and SCREEN when they´re young (because of their looks) but as they get older, guess what, they act like the guys when they were young: they jump on almost any opportunity they get offered due to lack of CHOICE :)

a woman´s greatest fear is being alone in the long run (when she´s older), and as a result she will panic and marry the next guy that is willing to :)! "all the good ones are taken" is what you hear by single women in their 30s a lot, that is why they settle for LESS, almost ANYTHING :)

oh but... i heard that looks don´t matter at all... sooo that all can´t be true... can it? ;)

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Originally posted by gabo

I think she does want kids too, but thats not even the reason why she was in a rush to get married. She just always said that people who cant get married by their 30s are either ugly or just a failure in life. and that is such a fucked up statement.

I have heard of many women say things like this... like if you dont get married you are a failure as a woman... ugh.

I have even been on dates with women who said things like that and that was my cue to hurry the date up and never talk to them again.

OMG, HA! That is one of the most horrible narrow-minded statements I have ever heard! And people wonder why the divorce rate is so damn high. I guess people have different priorities- some are looking for true love, others, just for marriage. :rolleyes:

With that said, I hope I don't have to wait *too* many years past 30... but what can you do... besides settle...

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Originally posted by phuturephunk

. . I think it comes down to a slight lingering sense of unfullfillment . . . ya know? . .

There's that, but you should never factor out people's insecurities, either.

Imagine... "I'm 30 years old, I haven't found the man/woman of my dreams, I've gone on so many dates and nothing's come of it... nobody wants me!" So, you find the first person who's willing to take you, and that calms the insecurity... temporarily. I've known people who were sexually promiscuous for the same reason, and later had the maturity to realize it and grow out of it.

About kids... there's something there, too. Phonk, you and I can both relate to the feeling of wanting to CREATE something, to have something meaningful to focus our energies on. I think many people want that, even if they don't have the self-consciousness to verbalize it. But how many people do you think really find that? Just think... could that be one reason why so many people have children???

So... I propose the following formula:

lacking fulfillment

+ feeling insecure

+ no purpose in life

= premature marriage.

What do you think?

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Guest jroo

quite right. looks doesnt matter is a nice gesture, but be honest with yourselves people. you have to want to rip the clothes off of your mate to keep a happy relationship. dont get me wrong other things are just as important. i just turned 24 in june. ive already gotten to that picky stage. ive learned that im not even dating another chick ever again unless she has EVERYTHING that i want. no more cut backs from me. i learned that from my last fucked up relationship that lasted 2 years. gawd that was a waste of my time. my prime was sucked out of me. anyway...

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my uncle is 50 something and still not married. he never found the "one" he did admit that he wished maybe he wasn't as wild and a partier earlier in his life, but he's stilll not willing to compromise and take a wife -- just to do so.

my second cousin is 50 something and still not married. She's been with the same guy for hmmm i think 25 years!?

sometimes marriage isn't for everyone

lol, suthrnbelle and i have a bet who's getting married last! ( i am determined to win! :laugh: and my chances just got better as of last night! :blank: )

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Originally posted by tastyt

It's true, I introduced him to wife #6... if only I'd known at the time... :screwy:

GODDAMN YOU FIRECROTCH!!! :mad: :mad:

Why are you mad at me???.....She took all my money....:mad:....Or whatever was left of it after Sarah(#5).....7 took both the kids so it isnt that bad but the alimony payments forced me to get a second job.....:shakes head:....The stupid things we do when we're young.....

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Originally posted by nycmuzik2000

Why are you mad at me???.....She took all my money....:mad:....Or whatever was left of it after Sarah(#5).....7 took both the kids so it isnt that bad but the alimony payments forced me to get a second job.....:shakes head:....The stupid things we do when we're young.....

This is true, I suppose it takes two to tango, doesn't it. Well, I hope you've at least learned something from all this.

BTW, be sure to tell the little ones that Auntie Dyanna sends her love...

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Originally posted by tastyt

This is true, I suppose it takes two to tango, doesn't it. Well, I hope you've at least learned something from all this.

BTW, be sure to tell the little ones that Auntie Dyanna sends her love...

Actually I have learned something from all of this....And its something I want to pass on to everyone that reads this....PRE-NUP!!!!!

As far as the little one's go....All they talk about when I see them is Aunt Dyanna this and Aunt Dyanna that...blah........Blah whatever.....You take them to McDonald's and you're a hero...I take them to White Castle and they call me cheap...pffffttt.....:rolleyes::D

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Originally posted by nycmuzik2000

Actually I have learned something from all of this....And its something I want to pass on to everyone that reads this....PRE-NUP!!!!!

As far as the little one's go....All they talk about when I see them is Aunt Dyanna this and Aunt Dyanna that...blah........Blah whatever.....You take them to McDonald's and you're a hero...I take them to White Castle and they call me cheap...pffffttt.....:rolleyes::D

Hmmm, maybe you should try splurging on Taco Bell next time instead. :)

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