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aboyfrombklyn

What Would You Do In This Situation???

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My friend has been going out with his girlfriend for almost a year now. Supposedly, he lives at home, but it's safe to say he lives with his girlfriend because he stays there every single night.

Well, he was planning on spending New Year's with her and a whole bunch of friends, but now his girlfriend tells him that her friend (another guy who she thought she was in love with in the past, but never went out with) wants to come visit her for the holiday. My friend tells her that he doesn't really mind if he comes down, but he feels that his holiday may be ruined because of how bad this guy treated him when they met a while ago and how his girlfriend doesn't pay any attention to him when this guy is around (this is true, I was there). He also goes on to tell her that since he stays at her house every night (even when her other friends stay over, at her request), he doesn't see why he shouldn't be able to stay over if this guy comes to visit.

His questions to me:

-Should he worry?

-Why would it be a problem for him to stay at her house when he's around, but it's not a problem any other night regardless of who else is there?

-Is he wrong for not liking the fact that his girlfriend has another guy staying at her house alone with her?

I really didn't know what to say because I'm good friends with both him and his girlfriend. What do you think?

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His questions to me:

-Should he worry? I think so

-Why would it be a problem for him to stay at her house when he's around, but it's not a problem any other night regardless of who else is there? Thats a big thing to worry about

-Is he wrong for not liking the fact that his girlfriend has another guy staying at her house alone with her? Not at all

QUOTE]

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I don't see any viable reason for why she has to spend such a fun day without her man. I mean, i can understand her going out with her girlie friends for New Years, but with another guy?/?

I would talk to your friend, and tell him that, unless they both have some open relationship, this doesn't sound kosher. She might still have feelings for this guy. And if your friend doesn't get along with this guy in the1st place, why doesn't his girl see that and not even consider doing this :confused:

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Originally posted by aboyfrombklyn

She was still planning on being with him on New Year's, but she wants this other guy to tag along.

She told him that this guy has been a very good friend for the past 9 years and she doesn't want to lose a friend or boyfriend over this.

Well she is probably going to lose a boyfriend if she won't let him stay over while her "good guy friend" is there... come on now. He might as well buy her some condoms and say see you in the morning.

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Originally posted by jimk29

Well she is probably going to lose a boyfriend if she won't let him stay over while her "good guy friend" is there... come on now. He might as well buy her some condoms and say see you in the morning.

I totally agree.

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His questions to me:

-Should he worry?.....yea pretty much

-Why would it be a problem for him to stay at her house when he's around, but it's not a problem any other night regardless of who else is there?...it shouldnt be a problem...she's lying about something

-Is he wrong for not liking the fact that his girlfriend has another guy staying at her house alone with her?....ehhhhhh well i can understand him not liking it at all, but when i had bf's in the past i stayed at my best guy friends house. My then bf's didnt like it, but i told them to trust me. if i was in his position, i wouldnt like it one bit. The whole situation seems suspicious

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ok maybe its time to test it.

they should ALL go out and spend the hoiday DAY together-

but him and her should break off earlier than the rest- just to meet up alittle bit later-

just so they can be alone and talk for a while (take a break from the friends)

while everyone is thinking that they will be meeting up later again- this is actaully the test ..

if a fight breaks out just before they split from the friends then SHE was already planning something else to take place-

also a fight would errupt at the time of them being alone- this is a pshcological FACT - i have studied it myself in ways-

if NOTHING happens then its a perfect time for everyone to get aquainted- friends / foes /

hell if anything

HE might just get lookin at one of the new grls

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D Sanchez says this is definitely a red flag! No matter how secure your friend in the relationship, there is a need to be suspicious. I mean is there really a need for this guy to tag a long? No way man. Eff that...tell him to tell her to tell him "stay home!"

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Even if she isn't planning on slipping in a screw with the New Guy, she's still at fault for allowing herself to be pushed into this situation where there will obviously be tension and a high possibility of drama. If she's so concerened about "not losing an old friend", then perhaps she should be more concerned about not losing her current love, which i would think would be more important... but then again I haven't met too many girls who retain common sense when situations like this force action and responsibility.

tell your friend to hit the gym, go on with life as normal, be cautious and tell his girlfriend he loves her very much...

and tell the other guy (since the other guy was rude initially to him), that he expects him to be a gentleman, and if he deviates from that, to remind him that in this town, it's very easy to make someone dissappear quietly and permanently.

;) that usually does the trick

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Originally posted by cintron

Even if she isn't planning on slipping in a screw with the New Guy, she's still at fault for allowing herself to be pushed into this situation where there will obviously be tension and a high possibility of drama. If she's so concerened about "not losing an old friend", then perhaps she should be more concerned about not losing her current love, which i would think would be more important... but then again I haven't met too many girls who retain common sense when situations like this force action and responsibility.

tell your friend to hit the gym, go on with life as normal, be cautious and tell his girlfriend he loves her very much...

and tell the other guy (since the other guy was rude initially to him), that he expects him to be a gentleman, and if he deviates from that, to remind him that in this town, it's very easy to make someone dissappear quietly and permanently.

;) that usually does the trick

HAHA! I love your answer. I was planning on going out with all of them on New Year's, so I told my friend that I wouldn't mind putting this guy in his place if he acts like an asshole. Of course, my friend refused. He just wants to avoid any problems altogether.

I just spoke to him earlier and he said he tried to talk to her this morning about her decision. She said she hasn't come up with a decision yet and he got all mad because he feels like it's such a difficult decision for her to make. He told her that if he was planning on inviting a friend for New Year's and she didn't like the person, he wouldn't instantly turn around and tell that person that she couldn't come.

I totally agree with him on that one. A relationship consists of respect and loyalty to your partner and if my girlfriend wasn't going to hang out with me on New Year's because I invited someone else, then I would tell that other person that the plans were off so I could be with my girlfriend.

Personally, I want to tell him to go out on New Year's, get blasted, have a great time, and if she picks this guys over him, dump her ass! But then I don't want to get involved.

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She is being shady about something. It's cool if they all go out, but she should not exclude her BF for any reason. Seeing as he stays at her house everyday anyway, why should the holday matter??? I'd be a lil weary....:shaky:

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Originally posted by aboyfrombklyn

HAHA! I love your answer. I was planning on going out with all of them on New Year's, so I told my friend that I wouldn't mind putting this guy in his place if he acts like an asshole. Of course, my friend refused. He just wants to avoid any problems altogether.

. . . And that is exactly what the problem is . . You're friend is acting like a wussy in this situation . . You stated above that this girl wants to have "another guy who she thought she was in love with in the past, but never went out with" in close proximity to them during the holidays . . . Thats FUCKED and should be dealt with in hard line . .

. . Your friend should know the deal on this one . . This other guy is probably a jerkface that rang her bell quite nicely in the past and by the simple fact that the portrait you painted of him shows that he's a pacifist that avoids conflict says one thing to her: I'm spineless . . . NOw, I'm not saying that the opposite (overbearing and pigheaded) is better but its a simple fact that chicks won't respect you as a man if you don't make it VERY clear what you want in situations like this . . He's gotta stand up, put the big boy pants on and tell her that he's displeased that this "guy she used to love madly' is coming into town to town to see her specifically . . .

. . . Chances are she's viewing him as weak and malleable . . Now, conscious cruel intentions aside, it sounds like theres still a little part of her that regretts fully that nothing ever went on between her and this other guy on a deeper level . . That alot of times leads to those 'oopsie! well, I was drunk . .and well, you know . .' moments . . .

.. . Bottom line, I don't trust her intentions, and neither should he . . . Actually, seeing as how you explained that she treats him like shit everytime supercock is in the room, I'd say he should just pre-emptive strike and kick her to the curb just for being that insolent, but then again, that may be what she's looking for as to be above blame in terminating the relationship . . .

. . In that case, I'd say let it play out and bust her, so theres no pain in it for him . . .

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Originally posted by SPYGIRL2

She is being shady about something. It's cool if they all go out, but she should not exclude her BF for any reason. Seeing as he stays at her house everyday anyway, why should the holday matter??? I'd be a lil weary....:shaky:

She wasn't planning on hanging out with this guy alone. She wanted this guy to come up and hang out with them together.

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OK, the verdict is in (or so he says). He grew some balls and told her that if she has this guy come up and visit, then he will not be spending New Year's with her. He told her that he would not in a million years have someone come visit if she didn't care for the person. I hope he sticks to his word. I guess he'll know if she's worthwhile on New Year's.

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Originally posted by gothzane

Do not pass go do not collect 200 dollars...

Every time I start feeling lonely or bad about being single shit like this just cheers me right up. lol

:flame:

:laugh: :laugh:

Seriously, your friend needs to see the writing on the wall "LIAR". Cmon now.

#1 If I were your friend, and this guy treated me like shit the last time I met him, that would be all I would have to hear, I would be like you're on your own. If she respected him in any which way she wouldn't be doing this to him or putting him in this situation.

#2 If he was such a good friend for 9 years he would understand the situation, and beat it, at least for NYE theres always other times to hang out.....

Sounds like something shady is going down :eek:

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