SPYGIRL3 Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 Is this a good relationship, for lack of a better word......Two people are friends, hang out, go out, all the normal stuff, but aren't dating....when one or the other or both for that matter feels the need they hook up/ have sex. There are no feelings involed, other than mutal love between two good friends. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Both are free date/see other people. Is it possible for this to stay at this level or over time will of the parties involved develope deeper rooted feelings?This was our topic of discussion in the bar last night. I think if both peopel are on the same level and are that good friends that things will be fine. Especially since the friendship was there first, it just probably enhances the latter.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 Originally posted by SPYGIRL2 Is it possible for this to stay at this level Not bloody likely... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted January 10 Author Report Share Posted January 10 Originally posted by tastyt Not bloody likely... lLOL.. Because one person will eventually want more or less??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 Originally posted by SPYGIRL2 lLOL.. Because one person will eventually want more or less??? Yep. Emotion-free sex can only last for so long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaredgirl Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 i think is hard one of the two would feel close sooner or later and will want more so i guess is not good.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notallthere Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 The only way to have a great relationship is to be best friends first. I mean You are going to be spending time with this person. You should share thoughts and ideas, laugh , and do dumb things together and have moments. If you establish a good friendship with someone first, before you move into sexual things the sex will be so so so much better. Because you have an emotional level of intimacy already established you will feel that you know this person that you are having sex with... kinda like your both are in it together. i cant quite put in words what i mean,. But you will also have the excitement of the psychical at the same time so It will take your breath away., You will feel love. Now if you fuck someone before they are your best friend you will be doing things backwards. The sex will be a crutch in your relationship and will impede you developing other levels of intimacy first. I'm not saying you cant but i have a pretty good understanding of people and i truly believe casual sex should stay just that.Saying someone is your bf/gf should be only a statement of what you both have already became... Is it possible you have a bf/gf and dont know it? Just like you shouldent get married because you want to make a relationship last forever. You should get married becuase you already know it will last forever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notallthere Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 douple post oops Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nympho69 Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 from my experiencesthe only way sex can stay emotionless is when u really dont like the person except on a physical level Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petp Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 thats doomed for failure....in the end you'll end up losing a great friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted January 10 Author Report Share Posted January 10 Originally posted by notallthere The only way to have a great relationship is to be best friends first. I mean You are going to be spending time with this person. You should share thoughts and ideas, laugh , and do dumb things together and have moments. If you establish a good friendship with someone first, before you move into sexual things the sex will be so so so much better. Because you have an emotional level of intimacy already established you will feel that you know this person that you are having sex with... kinda like your both are in it together. i cant quite put in words what i mean,. But you will also have the excitement of the psychical at the same time so It will take your breath away., You will feel love. Now if you fuck someone before they are your best friend you will be doing things backwards. The sex will be a crutch in your relationship and will impede you developing other levels of intimacy first. I'm not saying you cant but i have a pretty good understanding of people and i truly believe casual sex should stay just that.Saying someone is your bf/gf should be only a statement of what you both have already became... Is it possible you have a bf/gf and dont know it? Just like you shouldent get married because you want to make a relationship last forever. You should get married becuase you already know it will last forever. That's what I think. If you have already established a relationship as friends and the rest just happens, it won't matter if it stops. If both involed parties are on the level, then things shouldn't go astray. Sometimes things just happen because it seems right, Nothing more or less to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
incredulous Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 Originally posted by notallthere The only way to have a great relationship is to be best friends first. I mean You are going to be spending time with this person. You should share thoughts and ideas, laugh , and do dumb things together and have moments. If you establish a good friendship with someone first, before you move into sexual things the sex will be so so so much better. Because you have an emotional level of intimacy already established you will feel that you know this person that you are having sex with... kinda like your both are in it together. i cant quite put in words what i mean,. But you will also have the excitement of the psychical at the same time so It will take your breath away., You will feel love. Now if you fuck someone before they are your best friend you will be doing things backwards. The sex will be a crutch in your relationship and will impede you developing other levels of intimacy first. I'm not saying you cant but i have a pretty good understanding of people and i truly believe casual sex should stay just that.Saying someone is your bf/gf should be only a statement of what you both have already became... Is it possible you have a bf/gf and dont know it? Just like you shouldent get married because you want to make a relationship last forever. You should get married becuase you already know it will last forever. very nicely put Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted January 10 Author Report Share Posted January 10 Originally posted by incredulous very nicely put You going to Metro tonight??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 definitely...for sure, there will be a little tension at times, probably, when you're all going out and someone wears a nice miniskirt or one of the guys looks particularily good that night....very cliquish...but i have a group of friends that i party with when school is around...we are a group of guys from all over, and me and my columbian girlfriend...since we're the only two girls, the guys talk a lot of shit to us about other girls, their activities, and other disgusting things they want to discuss (one time, me, my american friend, and a belgian friend discussed anal discharge over 4 hours...ridiculous topic, yes i know...but goes to show how stupid many of their discussions are). if you can keep it on a certain level, then there shouldn't be a problem. it might even accumulate to a point where you two feel as comfortable with each other as if you were siblings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted January 10 Author Report Share Posted January 10 Originally posted by sassa It might even accumulate to a point where you two feel as comfortable with each other as if you were siblings. That's incest!!!!!! lol....Yes I do you what you mean... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psychosweetie Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 Some of my friends have been through this, and eventually one person will always want more. It always worked for my friend, until he found a girl he wanted to be with and then it was over between them. It caused lots of heartache and drama. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted January 10 Report Share Posted January 10 Originally posted by SPYGIRL2 That's what I think. If you have already established a relationship as friends and the rest just happens, it won't matter if it stops. If both involed parties are on the level, then things shouldn't go astray. Sometimes things just happen because it seems right, Nothing more or less to it. You see, it's one thing for a friendship to blossom into romance. That's wonderful! But for it to turn sexual, with the understanding that it can go no further, is an almost-certain death... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexxyh Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 Originally posted by tastyt You see, it's one thing for a friendship to blossom into romance. That's wonderful! But for it to turn sexual, with the understanding that it can go no further, is an almost-certain death... ~~yea that is a very important distinction that needed to be made..........i think the only unemotional sex is one night stands......everything else will end up in one person having more feelings than the other.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elementx Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 My 2 pennies...Fuck buddies are only good short term. And should never stem from friends. Eventually drama unfolds and Sex is not worth losing a good friend. And we all know the most understanding and closest friends are usually of the opposite sex. So why ruin it. Brings up a second point. How do you get a fuck buddy to stop liking you. I have a dilema here. And I want to dead it. Should I just stop answering the phone till they get the message... Tell her out right that I am not in it for anything other than what we started the " relationship " for. I mean she seems like she is starting to get feelings. And I am not typically a dick. But I really do not have an ouce of feelings. I slept with her the first night I met her through a friend. And I just dont respect that. And in my eyes. All it would or could become is a sexual relationship. But she has shown to many signs of effection. Guys, Gals... What do I do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexxyh Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 Originally posted by elementx My 2 pennies...Brings up a second point. How do you get a fuck buddy to stop liking you. I have a dilema here. And I want to dead it. Should I just stop answering the phone till they get the message... Tell her out right that I am not in it for anything other than what we started the " relationship " for. I mean she seems like she is starting to get feelings. And I am not typically a dick. But I really do not have an ouce of feelings. I slept with her the first night I met her through a friend. And I just dont respect that. And in my eyes. All it would or could become is a sexual relationship. But she has shown to many signs of effection. Guys, Gals... What do I do? ~~ u shouldrandomly brings this up in a conversation " wow this is so great!! im so lucky to have found a person who wants the same thing as me...just sex with no emotions getting in the way" then give her a hug.....u have to make it seem like u r very happy with this arrangement and that u definetely do not want anything more and yet u must pretend to be completely cluless that she wants more.you have to act like u have no clue about that and that u think she wants the same as u.......most likely she wont say anything and when she goes home she may possibly cry but then she will stop calling u herself......................IF she tries to hint that she wants more then u have to bring her down firmly and explain that u thought she wanted the same thing as u and that u dont want anything more....and keep bringing up the fact that u thought thats what she wanted too.............~~in conclusion i woud like to say that judging by the above paragraph im an evil bitch to my own kind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misk Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 Originally posted by petp thats doomed for failure....in the end you'll end up losing a great friend. 'tis true:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magellanmax Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 Originally posted by SPYGIRL2 Is this a good relationship, for lack of a better word......There are no feelings involed, other than mutal love between two good friends. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Both are free date/see other people. Is it possible for this to stay at this level or over time will of the parties involved develope deeper rooted feelings? Hun, you couldnt have thought up a better way to ruin a friendship !! Unwittingly ofcoz, but fatal nonetheless. If friends cross that barrier, its friggin OVA !!! I wish there was another way around it...but guess what?..There aint. Once you get to know your friend that intimately, all bets are off. For one, you will never looka and feel the same way 'bout each other. As much as you may try to ignore it, it will always haunt you till break from the pressure. In the end, you both lose a dear friend. My take on this...Avoid it like a plague! It aint worth it.________________Then Again.....just ma opinion....dont make it rite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elementx Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 Originally posted by sexxyh ~~ u shouldrandomly brings this up in a conversation " wow this is so great!! im so lucky to have found a person who wants the same thing as me...just sex with no emotions getting in the way" then give her a hug.....u have to make it seem like u r very happy with this arrangement and that u definetely do not want anything more and yet u must pretend to be completely cluless that she wants more.you have to act like u have no clue about that and that u think she wants the same as u.......most likely she wont say anything and when she goes home she may possibly cry but then she will stop calling u herself......................IF she tries to hint that she wants more then u have to bring her down firmly and explain that u thought she wanted the same thing as u and that u dont want anything more....and keep bringing up the fact that u thought thats what she wanted too.............~~in conclusion i woud like to say that judging by the above paragraph im an evil bitch to my own kind Thanks for the advise. It actually makes alot of sense. Now, Being I dont want to ruin our next encounter. I will do your little trick after our next " Session " I mean why not get in one last fuck when tomorrow it may not be. Thanks Hun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
incredulous Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 Originally posted by SPYGIRL2 You going to Metro tonight??? no, i am still recovering from being sick this week. i'll be at cherri tomorrow, you?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erica127 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 hey sweety, this is how i see it & i believe it to be true for the most part:"a guy & a girl can just be friends, but at one point they'll fall for each other...maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever."but either way, i personally couldn't do it cuz if if i told myself it is just for fun, i know i would start to have even stronger feelings if they were there to begin with or develop them..for me, sex makes me closer to a guy emotionally so i couldn't do it & don't see it as practical..but others are stronger than me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted January 13 Author Report Share Posted January 13 Originally posted by tastyt You see, it's one thing for a friendship to blossom into romance. That's wonderful! But for it to turn sexual, with the understanding that it can go no further, is an almost-certain death... I don't know if there is a romance or not. It's a actually scenerio between to of my friends. I think it's just the mutal respect/love/like they have for each other, because they are best friends.... I see them out and they act no different now than they did before the sex factor was added into the mix...... Granted I know what the deal, but my feelings aren't at stake, but from each of of them say everything is fine ans nothing has changed, they just have a new level of connection....dunno.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.