trancerxn112 Posted August 19 Report Share Posted August 19 We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up; you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.1. Crying is blackmail.1. Ask for what you want... Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.1. You have enough clothes.1. You have too many shoes.1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimk29 Posted August 19 Report Share Posted August 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tommyarmani Posted August 19 Report Share Posted August 19 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveespa Posted August 19 Report Share Posted August 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismakk69 Posted August 19 Report Share Posted August 19 Originally posted by trancerxn112 We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up; you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.1. Crying is blackmail.1. Ask for what you want... Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.1. You have enough clothes.1. You have too many shoes.1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping. lol...so true so true :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i3itch Posted August 19 Report Share Posted August 19 :shaky: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveespa Posted August 19 Report Share Posted August 19 Originally posted by i3itch :shaky: problem?????????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chula22 Posted August 19 Report Share Posted August 19 HAAHHAA! Very Funny. Its actually true. And its Kute how every rule on that list has a priority of 1. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i3itch Posted August 19 Report Share Posted August 19 Originally posted by daveespa problem?????????? Don't get smacked when I see you Friday Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveespa Posted August 19 Report Share Posted August 19 Originally posted by i3itch Don't get smacked when I see you Friday ..................we'll see Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naughtybabe Posted August 19 Report Share Posted August 19 Mike.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trancerxn112 Posted August 19 Author Report Share Posted August 19 Originally posted by naughtybabe Mike.... lol im at work i cant exactly drop em and make sweet love to myself... follow the guidelines above and we wont have a problem. We green? super green! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintron Posted August 19 Report Share Posted August 19 big props to whoever made up that list. its just about everything i've wanted to say to stupid ignorant bitches for years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naughtybabe Posted August 19 Report Share Posted August 19 Supa Green Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trancerxn112 Posted August 19 Author Report Share Posted August 19 Originally posted by naughtybabe Supa Green wow you jut got majooooooor respect from me... gotta love a girl who can play the quote game Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naughtybabe Posted August 19 Report Share Posted August 19 Come on dude thats Fifth Element.. Ruby Red is the man!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintron Posted August 19 Report Share Posted August 19 BZZZZZZZZZZ! BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!it's hotter than hotit's hotHotHOT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trancerxn112 Posted August 19 Author Report Share Posted August 19 Originally posted by naughtybabe Come on dude thats Fifth Element.. Ruby Red is the man!! Mr. Red you have to assume your individual position... I dont want one position, I want all positions... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naughtybabe Posted August 19 Report Share Posted August 19 Yesterday's frog will be tomorrow's prince!! OfPhloston Paradise!! A hotel of a thousand and one follies,lollies, and lick-m-lollies! A magic fountain flow of non-stopwine, women and hoochie-coochie-coo!! All night long!! (SingsLionel Richie) All night long! All night! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naughtybabe Posted August 19 Report Share Posted August 19 Now I cant stop....What was that? IT WAS BAD!! IT, IT HAD NOTHING! NOFIRE! NO ENERGY! NO NOTHING! You know I have a show to run here,you know? Hmm? Hmm? AND IT MUST POP POP POP!! So tomorrow fromfive to seven, will you please act like you have more than a twoword vocabulary? It must be green, okay? Okay? :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trancerxn112 Posted August 19 Author Report Share Posted August 19 Originally posted by naughtybabe Now I cant stop....What was that? IT WAS BAD!! IT, IT HAD NOTHING! NOFIRE! NO ENERGY! NO NOTHING! You know I have a show to run here,you know? Hmm? Hmm? AND IT MUST POP POP POP!! So tomorrow fromfive to seven, will you please act like you have more than a twoword vocabulary? It must be green, okay? Okay? :laugh: Just hold that gun to his head, if he moves, shoot him... Ccc Ccc Cccorbin this aint me man, i have a headache... Ruby! < bang > oh my god im so sorry, think he will be alright? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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