nSyNcBaBy Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 do u believe that emotional infidelity exists?what do u consider to be the difference between emotional/physical infidelity? Where do you draw the line between the 2?what behaviors constitute as being emotionally unfaithful?If u dont buy this entire idea, why the hell not? im doing my thesis on emotional infidelity... and id like to hear some other perspectives on the topic...please answer some of these questions if this topic intrigues u.. thanks in advance Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captainpec Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Physical infedelity is banging someone else.In my opinion, emotional identity would be any other type of cheating, which would involve:* Hanging out frequently with a member of the opposite sex, when your partner doesn't know about it. If there is nothing to hide, your partner should know about that "friendship." * I guess another form could (and I stress could) be leading someone on for a certain period of time. In essence if you drag them along for your benefit or actually for no reason at all, that's technically being "unfaithful" to them.Just my $0.02... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bullseye Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 i think of emotional infidelity as being falling in love or lust with someone, but without physical contact? being married, but letting your emotions of love, whom your suppose to have with your mate soley, arise with someone else. but it becomes more of an issue obviously if physical contact between the two happens. i can remember having a girlfriend, and having feelings of love for someone else, but was that emotional infidelity because i was betraying my girlfriend by loving someone else? ida know, i would just call it betraying someone that you have an emotional relationship with, by having feelings for another person. i think everyone has experienced that at some point. good question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted January 30 Author Report Share Posted January 30 thanks guys...more more more! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiscoProJoe Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 If you're being emotionally unfaithful, the big question should be about what intangible needs of yours aren't being met in your committed relationship! Find out what those needs are and talk to your partner about them. See if each of y'alls major needs can be met adequately.If they can, then naturally, you will probably no longer be tempted to be "emotionally" unfaithful. On the other hand, if y'alls major needs can't be met in any way whatsoever, then it's time to break up and run off with the other person afterward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted January 30 Author Report Share Posted January 30 i agree... but the question isnt regarding my current relationship or what the cause of the cheating is... its simply trying to get an idea of why people believe it either does or doesnt exist... and what constitutes emotional cheating... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mystify Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 Emotional infidelity, I think, can be far worse and hurt more than physical infidelity....physical infidelity is kissing, having intercourse, etc w/someone other than your significant other..........I view emotional infidelity as being in a committed relationship with someone and having feelings for someone else....I would personally be much more hurt to find out my boyfriend fell in love w/another girl -- than to hear he hooked up w/someone or slept with someone else (w/no emotions involved that is). Of course, there's always infidelity that involves both emotions and physical contact.....it's hard to distinguish bc the lines blur and sometimes it both physical acts and emotions are both part of the 'cheating' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted January 30 Author Report Share Posted January 30 research shows that men believe that women dont normally have sex without love... therefore if a woman cheats sexually, males are more jealous b/c of the possibility of love... on the other hand, women think that men can have sex regardless of feelings... and therefore dont get AS jealous when their man cheats on them sexually, because there may be no emotion involved at all.. however, they get more jealous when they find that their partner has formed an emotional connection (ex. fell in love) with another woman...which could inevitably lead to sex anyway... would u agree? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastey Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 Originally posted by linabina research shows that men believe that women dont normally have sex without love... therefore if a woman cheats sexually, males are more jealous b/c of the possibility of love... on the other hand, women think that men can have sex regardless of feelings... and therefore dont get AS jealous when their man cheats on them sexually, because there may be no emotion involved at all.. however, they get more jealous when they find that their partner has formed an emotional connection (ex. fell in love) with another woman...which could inevitably lead to sex anyway... would u agree? i agree with you on this one.let´s suppose my women would cheat on me. sex, a one night stand. some guy sticks her dick in her pussy. i would find it far worse if she had, say a candlelight dinner with someone, a romantic walk on the beach, etc.things that are based only on the physical aspect of sex will not hold long anyway. that´s why wouldn´t be so hard for me. don´t get me wrong, i would dump her ass because of the STD risk anyway. but a candlelight dinner for example or a romantic walk on the beach would hurt me emotionally more than just sex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted January 30 Author Report Share Posted January 30 what u just said does not support what i just said lolin simpler terms... men are more jealous of sexual infidelity and woman are more jealous of emotional infidelity.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mystify Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 Originally posted by linabina what u just said does not support what i just said lolin simpler terms... men are more jealous of sexual infidelity and woman are more jealous of emotional infidelity.. That is so true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastey Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 let me clarify. you just wrote:Originally posted by linabina research shows that men believe that women dont normally have sex without love... therefore if a woman cheats sexually, males are more jealous b/c of the possibility of love... that would mean that they are jaleous because of the sex, BUT only because they think sex=love=feelings.i would go as far and say that BOTH are hurt mainly by the emotional infidelity, and not as much by the physical infidelity.why? because as you say, men think women only have sex when they feel something too.get what i mean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
globalgroover Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 i would be far more pissed at my gf for having sex with someone else than taking a romantic walk on the beach with that same person.in fact i encourage her to get out more!i think i'm the stereotypical male who is not so concerned with deep emotional feelings but only tangible issues (i.e. job, sex, trance music). i'm probably a very shallow/selfish person afterall.-g.g Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetie029 Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 Originally posted by Mystify22 Emotional infidelity, I think, can be far worse and hurt more than physical infidelity....physical infidelity is kissing, having intercourse, etc w/someone other than your significant other..........I view emotional infidelity as being in a committed relationship with someone and having feelings for someone else....I would personally be much more hurt to find out my boyfriend fell in love w/another girl -- than to hear he hooked up w/someone or slept with someone else (w/no emotions involved that is). Of course, there's always infidelity that involves both emotions and physical contact.....it's hard to distinguish bc the lines blur and sometimes it both physical acts and emotions are both part of the 'cheating' Agreed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted January 30 Author Report Share Posted January 30 Originally posted by tastey let me clarify. you just wrote:that would mean that they are jaleous because of the sex, BUT only because they think sex=love=feelings.i would go as far and say that BOTH are hurt mainly by the emotional infidelity, and not as much by the physical infidelity.why? because as you say, men think women only have sex when they feel something too.get what i mean? yea i get what ur saying... but on the other hand... if the girl still had no feelings for him, the guy would still be more jealous if she slept with him than if she simply.. 'spent time' with himeither way u look at it... guys are more jealous about sex... girl the opposite... i think to some extent both sexes are jealous without a doubt of either form of infidelity... depending on the person- one may be more jealous of sex and one may be more jealous of emotions... but either way.. both get jealous... however the extremes are what i said before about the whole male/female gender difference Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mursa Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 ...Emotional infidelity is simply the phase right before one becomes physically unfaithful . You can't go into one without having gone through the other . MIND (emotions) over BODY . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted January 30 Author Report Share Posted January 30 not always tru how bout a drunken "accident"?? when one partner has ZERO feelings for the other person.. just gets fucked up... lets their guard down and just goes for it.. regardless of the reason.. there was still no feeling involved.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted January 30 Author Report Share Posted January 30 what id like to know now... is... what specific behaviors would constitute emotionally cheating? for example.. (and this comes from a survey used in a study)"emailing, instant messaging, etc with someone your partner knows about"OR on the flipside... "emailing, instant messaging, etc with someone your partner DOESNT know about"... is there a significant difference btwn ur partner knowing or not? or does the act of emailing and instant messaging not constitute as cheating at all? or does it depending on the persons intentions and the contents of the emails or how bout this one... sharing every day things such as your mood, how class was that day, etc with someone your partner either does or does not know about... or sharing intimate details and personal fantasies/dreams/desires with someone (and that doesnt mean FOR that person) with someone your partner either does or does not know about?do you think that the partner knowing about the person is a big factor? do u think that agreement of exclusivity or nonexclusivity between 2 partners is a factor?things like that.. add ur own... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbbooom Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 Originally posted by linabina do u believe that emotional infidelity exists?what do u consider to be the difference between emotional/physical infidelity? Where do you draw the line between the 2?what behaviors constitute as being emotionally unfaithful?If u dont buy this entire idea, why the hell not? im doing my thesis on emotional infidelity... and id like to hear some other perspectives on the topic...please answer some of these questions if this topic intrigues u.. thanks in advance theres no such thing... if it existed than people would be arrested for crimes they thought about doing.... a la minority report (getting arrested for something that never happened) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mursa Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 Originally posted by linabina how bout a drunken "accident"?? when one partner has ZERO feelings for the other person.. just gets fucked up... lets their guard down and just goes for it.. regardless of the reason.. there was still no feeling involved.. You just added to my point of view . When one person has "ZERO feelings" for the other person , he/she in many ways is already Emotionaly Unfaithful . And the excuse of being a drunk accident is just a easy cop-out .... unless your out cold on GHB or unconsious from alcohol the drunk excuse doesn't fly with me . When you really like/love someone , being in a different frame of mind or on mind altering substances shouldn't change the way you feel for them sober . Maybe enhance/amplify those feelings that you already hold but not change them . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted January 31 Author Report Share Posted January 31 right... but my point isnt that someone uses being drunk as an excuse... but some people definitely just cheat when their inhibitions are lowered... whatever common sense.... point being, that regardless of feelings for the current partner, a person can cheat physically without emotions for the extradyadic partner being a factor... therefore one doesnt have to come before the other Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastey Posted January 31 Report Share Posted January 31 Originally posted by linabina right... but my point isnt that someone uses being drunk as an excuse... but some people definitely just cheat when their inhibitions are lowered... yeah right, you don´t seriously believe that yourself, do you?will you tell me that if you´re drunk you "forget" about your partner and everything and lose all sense of guilt because of the alcohol? that´s not the case and you (should) know it.if you really cared for a partner and your feelings are strong, he would have popped into your mind at least ONCE and you CONCIOUSLY pushed that image away in your mind.this is so typically woman it angers me. "it wasn´t my fault". "it was out of my control". "i was so drunk i didn´t know what i was doing". "i had no responsibility for what happened". blah blahthis is all stupid excuse and you know it as well as i do.if you know as a girl that you get fucked easily when you get drunk, THEN DON`T GET DRUNK. if you get drunk (and you decide that beforehand, it´s not as if you´d be suddenly drunk after one drink) and then get fucked, and THEN tell your partner that it was "out of your control" or sth... then there is certainly something not right...point is, cheating is *always* a CONCIOUS decision. except of course when you´re so drunk or on drugs that you´re uncouncious. in which case it would not be cheating but RAPE.if it is feeling based or not is a matter of definition. would you consider "attraction" as a feeling?personally, i also think that there are two main types of men that fulfill different needs. the providers and the lovers. boyfriends are often in (or become after a while) the provider role. they can´t fill the "lover" role any more and are not as "attractive" as a lover any more. therefor the woman falls for the lover (the "adventure"), but of course wants to keep her provider too, who takes care of her and all and fulfills her needs... which are of course different needs than a lover would fulfill.but all that still makes cheating a concious decision.the decision lies in weighting the two different outcomes. obviously, if a woman cheats, she doesn´t fear consequences and has no respect for her man. which is basically feelings based because if she would still feel so strong for her man, she wouldn´t do anything in the world to jeoperdize that connection. the "positive" things of the adventure (in her mind) overweight the possible "negative" outcome (losing him). if that´s not feeling based then what is? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbbooom Posted January 31 Report Share Posted January 31 ITS LIKE BEING BISEXUAL... THERES N SUCH THING AS THAT AND THERE NO SUCH THING AS EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted February 1 Author Report Share Posted February 1 Originally posted by tastey yeah right, you don´t seriously believe that yourself, do you?will you tell me that if you´re drunk you "forget" about your partner and everything and lose all sense of guilt because of the alcohol? that´s not the case and you (should) know it.if you really cared for a partner and your feelings are strong, he would have popped into your mind at least ONCE and you CONCIOUSLY pushed that image away in your mind.this is so typically woman it angers me. "it wasn´t my fault". "it was out of my control". "i was so drunk i didn´t know what i was doing". "i had no responsibility for what happened". blah blahthis is all stupid excuse and you know it as well as i do.if you know as a girl that you get fucked easily when you get drunk, THEN DON`T GET DRUNK. if you get drunk (and you decide that beforehand, it´s not as if you´d be suddenly drunk after one drink) and then get fucked, and THEN tell your partner that it was "out of your control" or sth... then there is certainly something not right...point is, cheating is *always* a CONCIOUS decision. except of course when you´re so drunk or on drugs that you´re uncouncious. in which case it would not be cheating but RAPE.if it is feeling based or not is a matter of definition. would you consider "attraction" as a feeling?personally, i also think that there are two main types of men that fulfill different needs. the providers and the lovers. boyfriends are often in (or become after a while) the provider role. they can´t fill the "lover" role any more and are not as "attractive" as a lover any more. therefor the woman falls for the lover (the "adventure"), but of course wants to keep her provider too, who takes care of her and all and fulfills her needs... which are of course different needs than a lover would fulfill.but all that still makes cheating a concious decision.the decision lies in weighting the two different outcomes. obviously, if a woman cheats, she doesn´t fear consequences and has no respect for her man. which is basically feelings based because if she would still feel so strong for her man, she wouldn´t do anything in the world to jeoperdize that connection. the "positive" things of the adventure (in her mind) overweight the possible "negative" outcome (losing him). if that´s not feeling based then what is? im not even gonna read this whole thing because u misread my point. basically what i meant was... if someone is feeling less satisfied with his or her relationship... and really has no qualms about cheating on them... drinking may induce cheating a little more blatantly or quicker than normal... but who the fuck CARES this was never the issue here... all i was saying was not that people use being drunk as an excuse... but it DOES happen in some cases that being in the atmosphere... partying... dancing with different people and drinking may increase possibilities that someone may cheat... and im talking about someone who does not want to be with their partner anymore. period. now back to the topic at hand please... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djinnom Posted February 1 Report Share Posted February 1 Um...you should read his post. To simply say you don't want to bother to read it basically disrespects the people who are here trying to help you with your thesis. He answered your questions with his own opinions that you threw out before even reading it. WTF is that?all i was saying was not that people use being drunk as an excuse... but it DOES happen in some cases that being in the atmosphere... partying... dancing with different people and drinking may increase possibilities that someone may cheat...Is that what you are asking? Then yes. People may cheat more when drunk.What's funny about this whole thread is that you say you want viewpoints and opinions because you are working on your thesis, but when someone offers a different perspective from yours, you don't even bother reading it.The guy basically stated that he feels that regardless of being drunk or not, there is always at least a small portion of emotion involved when cheating. e.g., One always comes before the other. I happen to agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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