fouroneone Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 1. If you are over 30 and you have a washboard stomach, you're gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and rather you've been sucking-off the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet. 2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaayming Fag. A cat is like a dog, but Gay: it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're the poster boy for GAY. 3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby-dummies, boiled lollies or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks stubbies, shots, bar-b-q ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters, cray-fish guts, pickled eggs, or titties. Anything else and you are in training to suck El-Dicko and undeniably a Fag. 4. If you refuse to have a shit in a public toilet or piss in a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases. A real man will shoot, shit, sleep where ever he likes 5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop-chute. Coffee has to be had strong, black (or with thick, wholesome milk) and full-aroma. A pussy-eating man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim or with a twist of lemon" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a dick in there too. 6. If you know more than six names of colours or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out a free pass to your arse. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the NFL, NBA, NHL and Nascar. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fresier" is, you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious! 7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it... you're hungry for man sausage. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at slow-arse drivers or to cut the motherfucker off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat his hamburger, hold his beer, finger the bitch in the passenger seat (whoever she happens to be), or talk on his mobile phone. 8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous sonnez le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly. So follow the rules and beware. Or keep that shit to yourself, you flamming faggot! 9. If your name is Steven, Neil, Dallas, Gavin, Frank, Brett, Bruce, Craig, John, Andrew, Robert, Laurie/Larry/Lawrence, Aaron, James, Howie, Phil, Ray, Miser, Damian,Terry, Matthew or Luke, then stop living in denial. You're a dung punching arse bandit from way back and everyone knows it. deepspell 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deepspell Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tstelkhuni Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tranzwhore Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 nice work, NMN! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jtk4 Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 "you're hungry for man sausage"hahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murrrr Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 LOL, i wonder who here has a cat....2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaayming Fag. A cat is like a dog, but Gay: it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're the poster boy for GAY. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveespa Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 You're a dung punching arse bandit from way back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phatman Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 LOL, i wonder who here has a cat.......i do - although he stays at my dad...and i've got winnie the pooh as my avatar...pretty fucking gay if you ask me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomembername Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 nice work, NMN!did I miss you trying to be funny here? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kahn Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 LOL, i wonder who here has a cat....I have a cat and a dog..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tranzwhore Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 did I miss you trying to be funny here?settle down, beavis! i was giving u a compliment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomembername Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 settle down, beavis! i was giving u a compliment.for what?...I'm lost Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tranzwhore Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 for what?...I'm lostHi Lost! I thought your post on being gay was funny! Now have a nice day, TW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomembername Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 Hi Lost! I thought your post on being gay was funny! Now have a nice day, TWwhat the hell are you talking about woman? I didn't post it, 411 did...lay off the crack Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamsamurai Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 LOL, i wonder who here has a cat....guess according to this i'm bisexual Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murrrr Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 hmmmm i guess that means metro, which isnt a bad thingI have a cat and a dog.....guess according to this i'm bisexual lol, no comment........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tranzwhore Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 what the hell are you talking about woman? I didn't post it, 411 did...lay off the crackmy bad.....i have a fever! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shroomy Posted June 29 Report Share Posted June 29 I have a cat and a dog.....your either bi, or too repressed to get rid of your dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jxfx Posted June 30 Report Share Posted June 30 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamsamurai Posted June 30 Report Share Posted June 30 lol, no comment........dork, i love the cooch too damn much Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted June 30 Report Share Posted June 30 1. If you are over 30 and you have a washboard stomach, you're gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and rather you've been sucking-off the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet. 2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaayming Fag. A cat is like a dog, but Gay: it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're the poster boy for GAY. 3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby-dummies, boiled lollies or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks stubbies, shots, bar-b-q ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters, cray-fish guts, pickled eggs, or titties. Anything else and you are in training to suck El-Dicko and undeniably a Fag. 4. If you refuse to have a shit in a public toilet or piss in a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases. A real man will shoot, shit, sleep where ever he likes 5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop-chute. Coffee has to be had strong, black (or with thick, wholesome milk) and full-aroma. A pussy-eating man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim or with a twist of lemon" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a dick in there too. 6. If you know more than six names of colours or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out a free pass to your arse. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the NFL, NBA, NHL and Nascar. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fresier" is, you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious! 7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it... you're hungry for man sausage. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at slow-arse drivers or to cut the motherfucker off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat his hamburger, hold his beer, finger the bitch in the passenger seat (whoever she happens to be), or talk on his mobile phone. 8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous sonnez le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly. So follow the rules and beware. Or keep that shit to yourself, you flamming faggot! 9. If your name is Steven, Neil, Dallas, Gavin, Frank, Brett, Bruce, Craig, John, Andrew, Robert, Laurie/Larry/Lawrence, Aaron, James, Howie, Phil, Ray, Miser, Damian,Terry, Matthew or Luke, then stop living in denial. You're a dung punching arse bandit from way back and everyone knows it.Something tells me this was written by a guy that: A) Has repressed identity issues Doesn't get very much ass from the opposite sex.I'm speculating here, of course..but the good money is on my assumptions being true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kahn Posted June 30 Report Share Posted June 30 your either bi, or too repressed to get rid of your dog.yeah, I'm very confused...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamsamurai Posted June 30 Report Share Posted June 30 Something tells me this was written by a guy that: A) Has repressed identity issues Doesn't get very much ass from the opposite sex.I'm speculating here, of course..but the good money is on my assumptions being true.I agree lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.