divette Posted November 7 Author Report Share Posted November 7 I have faith that after the hurt is gone, we can remain friends. I love him as a person abouve all. And to be honest with myself, I would not be able to handel him with somene else right now.But one day I will be and the same I believe goes for him.He just feels that If and when we are in different relationships, that our BF's &GF's wont want us to see each other, even as friends..and then we really wont be able to have a friendship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msoprano Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 it depends on what the situation is. my ex and i were the closest you could get, and we promised that wwe wouldnt have a relationship. well we lied to eachother and after a year and a half we broke up, and we hardly speak anymore. i see her at school once in a while, but thats it. i would like to be frienda with her again but her stupid boydfriend is worthless and turned her into a mute. ------------------TWILO'S WACK !!!! I only speak the truth peaceFRANK ALVEE IS BACK AND IN FULL FORCE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divette Posted November 7 Author Report Share Posted November 7 Thanks for everyone's support and advice.I really appreciate everyone taking the time to respond.D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nlichau Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 I have been able to remain good friends with only one guy I had a relationship with. I think that once you have sex-there is always tension between the two parties involved. Sometimes it may take time to get over it-if the two of you want to remain friends badly enough, maybe time is all you need. Thats what happened to me.------------------The music makes the people come together... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abstrakt Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Just wondering Divette...are you just planning on staying friends from now on or are you just taking a break from being together and hope to end up back together again? Ali------------------"The enchantment is over...but the spell remains" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shugabooga Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 yes, it's possible, but usually not until after a long break. the deeper the feelings, the longer the break you'll need. when god closes, one door, he opens another. give yourself a chance to heal and move on. keep yourself as busy as possible and don't dwell on him. good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divette Posted November 7 Author Report Share Posted November 7 *BUMP* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divette Posted November 7 Author Report Share Posted November 7 Originally posted by Abstrakt:Just wondering Divette...are you just planning on staying friends from now on or are you just taking a break from being together and hope to end up back together again? AliWEll..I think both of us are hoping that one day we'll be back together."If you love something let it go, if it comes bak to you it's meant to be" type thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Originally posted by petp: in my case me and my ex have this understanding; we're best friends and if she goes out with a guy, or i go out with a girl and they dont like that me and her are still best friends, then that person is history!!!! it just shows that persons insecurity and i dont want to be with someone like that, and neither does she. we've know each other for 4 years and if some person thinks that they can tell either one of us to not hang out with each other, then f#ck them, we knew each other long before this new person came along, so they have no right to make demands like that.Yes, I agree that my ex's gf is totally insecure. But the main problem is that he's just as insecure. Which ironically is my own fault. I hurt him really bad when he was nothing but good to me. Now he's afraid to leave her which is really sad.. She's really bitchy and controlling and possessive and jealous. He can't break up with her either even though he told me many times that he tried and she kept calling back and crying until he couldn't take it anymore.. I feel really bad for him but there is nothing I can do. I'd wanna be friends with him but that's not gonna happen until he realizes that he needs to get rid of that girl. It wasn't a mutual agreement as in your case, and he's the one suffering even though I do miss him very much.. Some girls are bitches though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bungee Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Personally, I never maintain Ex-GFs as friends. Have maintained them as a quick fuck but EVEN THAT gets so freaky complicated that I just sever the relationship altogether. Have enough shit going on that I really don't need another 'fuck friend' that's going to want to get together again especially when she starts crying again and again. Just don't know how to deal with that. I try to be compassionate but WTF am I supposed to do? ------------------What da..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautious1 Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Originally posted by chrismakk69: I SECOND THAT!!!!I guess no one else shares our POV???!!!??divette will be in for it...mark my words.. ------------------ Round and Round we go...Where we stop Nobody Knows.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azankel Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 IMO No, you cannot be friends with an ex, unless you were friends first. I tried talking to my exfor a while after we broke up, because I really truly love her as a person. But since we were never friends before we dated, we both realized we couldn't stay friends. The hardest part is seeing the person with their new BF/GF, when I saw my ex with her new BF I knew things would never be the same between us again. Its hard, but it is a part of life.-Andy------------------Lets Go METS!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trippintrance64 Posted November 8 Report Share Posted November 8 i def think so. i was dating this girl for a while....and it ended pretty badly. eventually we hung out again, and we are now friends. matter of fact she is coming along to PVD with me. ------------------A man makes his sunshine, and he makes his rain. Look at what you have, and where you are, before you say, "I've had a horrible day" Appreciate what you have, and realize how much others wish they could have that much. Live Life, and LOVE IT! --Me"The Suspense is TERRIBLE....i hope it'll last!" -Willy WonkaSleep...Ah..Those little slices of death. How i loath them. - Edgar Allan Poe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eggmok Posted November 8 Report Share Posted November 8 did you ever watch godfather . . .keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer . . .------------------Life is too short to be small. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erotic26 Posted November 8 Report Share Posted November 8 Divette, do the two fo you WANT to be with other people? 3 1/2 years is a long time with alot of memories and feelings. It sounds to me like you both want to experience seeing how it is with other people and if that's what you both feel and are mature about it you may think you will be ok handling hearin or seeing him w/ someone else but when it really happens, b/c you still are in love with him it will hurt like hell. But if you two think you are falling out of love then maybe you need to let it all go and moe on maybe later down the line see if the friendship works but not if you both still have feelings. What happened in the past that he holds against you? Are you in love with him or just love him? The two are very different. I wish you luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h0nus Posted November 8 Report Share Posted November 8 It is definitely possible. I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years just 2 months ago. Trying to stay only friends has been extremely difficult. But if you were ever truly in love with this person, then you will remain friends with them forever.A couple words of advice. Take them or leave them, they have worked well for me: Don't have sex, but hugs and kisses are healthy. Don't talk about sex or attractions to other people, this will only hurt your ex and ultimately yourself.Try not to be jealous.Most importantly, continue to work on yourself. Chances are you will want to have sex right away to soften the pain of being without someone, but this will not make you feel any better about your situation.Just my 2 pesos.peace out.-h0nus ------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noiseboy Posted November 8 Report Share Posted November 8 i have not kept an ex as my friend. weird.actually, i also broke up a 3 year relationship within the past year, and while i would love to be friends, right now she's having none of it. . . you need time apart. time to get back to being completely on your own, and figuring it all out again. i hope that, in time, i can be friends with my ex again. . . but it's definitely going to take awhile. . . ------------------i wanna give you everything, i wanna give you energy. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petp Posted November 8 Report Share Posted November 8 Originally posted by mysteriousss:One major reason is their new gf's who cannot stand the fact that their bf's talk to their ex's. One girl FLIPS out when she sees me or even hears my name being mentioned after being with my ex for 3 years now!!!!!!! in my case me and my ex have this understanding; we're best friends and if she goes out with a guy, or i go out with a girl and they dont like that me and her are still best friends, then that person is history!!!! it just shows that persons insecurity and i dont want to be with someone like that, and neither does she. we've know each other for 4 years and if some person thinks that they can tell either one of us to not hang out with each other, then f#ck them, we knew each other long before this new person came along, so they have no right to make demands like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandie Posted November 8 Report Share Posted November 8 i think ex's can be friends . . . get along with all but 2 of mine . . . and that's all b/c *they* were assholes. luv,brandie------------------"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."**NEW EMAIL!!** brandie@powerpuff.com AIM: loves2coxi love Rob *always&forever* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keshiki Posted November 8 Report Share Posted November 8 I am really good friends with two of my ex's and I currently have a boyfriend...he gets a little jealous but it is definitely possible to be friends with your ex without problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divette Posted November 8 Author Report Share Posted November 8 YEah! There's hope! Hehehe!I truly hope our friendship will last. He's scared about other people's feeling, whom ever we are with , that they will have a problem with us being friends.Maybe just sometime apart is all we need.But I dont want any time away from him as a friend.I'm so use to sharing eveything with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jolie21 Posted November 8 Report Share Posted November 8 I'm best friends with one of my exes (3 year relationship) and good friends with another (2 year). I love them both and are there for them through anything. It took a while to get to the point where we could actually discuss current relationships, but now it's all good. ------------------"This is the strangest life I've ever known" - Jim Morrison Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jolie21 Posted November 8 Report Share Posted November 8 ------------------"This is the strangest life I've ever known" - Jim Morrison[This message has been edited by jolie27 (edited 11-07-2000).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divette Posted November 8 Author Report Share Posted November 8 Did you take time apart from each other first, before you were able to have your friendship?D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tenupa Posted November 8 Report Share Posted November 8 Originally posted by divette:Did you take time apart from each other first, before you were able to have your friendship?Seriously, this is probably the *best* thing you can do. Take some time for yourself first, it gives the both of you time to evaluate things from an objective standpoint. It's like when a bomb goes off...do you go running to ground zero immediately? No, of course not. You wait for the dust to settle, take some time and then go back to look at things. Taking time right now is the best thing you can do. When you guys speak again at some point in the future, you'll have a new perspective on things.....I know, b/c it's happened to me, and we're great friends today.Tenupa ------------------"Imagination is more important than knowledge"--einstein Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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