Club Nonsense NYC

[elevatedflow]

Avalon Management which runs Avalon the club, which

used to be the Limelight, is moving across town to

take over Spirit which used to be Twilo. Got it? Good.

Meanwhile, Made Events which used to run Arc, formerly

Vinyl, has been promoting at Spirit. Made also were

the folks that used to do the Friday nights at Twilo,

now Spirit, which is becoming Avalon. Still with me?

Now hang on because here is where it gets murky. The

big rumors going around are that Pacha and/or Space

Miami want to bring in an NYC version of their

brand-name clubs. One tall tale has Erick Morillo

getting involved with Pacha to take over the Sound

Factory space - not the original Sound Factory which

later became Twilo (now Spirit, soon Avalon) but the

other, "Sound Factory not Twilo".

Then of course there is Crobar, still riding high

after a great winter and spring with the best

residencies in NYC. However summer has slowed down all

the clubs and a few of the residencies are on hiatus

until everyone - everyone being eurotrash and spoiled

DJs et al, not everyone you and me - gets back from

Ibiza.

There are only a few specific behaviors that place

folks from these groups firmly into the shitty crowd

category... are you ready?Avalon was notorious for its

shitty crowd, although it occasionally provided a

beacon of light vis a vis the unique acts they brought

in. Often some big name techno DJs that rarely get a

chance to play a decent sized room in NYC found their

way to Avalon. Overall, Spirit has been hit and miss

since it opened. Of course the Howells and Burridge

parties among others have rocked for Made Events - and

then a few bookings the club did on their own like

Thievery Corporation show and Evil Nine were good

times - but there have also been the nights of the

living dread where the crowd, vibe, and music all

lacked. The biggest complaint about Spirit is often

regarding its staff which has been known to be on the

rude and surly side.

Now the questions start piling up...

First off: What will happen to the old Limelight

space? Well I got an answer for that one; most people

don't really care. It supposedly is going to be more

of a concert venue and high class club and restaurant

(if you can imagine that place passing the health

inspection) but who really knows, maybe they'll make

it back into a church.

Whatever change may come to that space, our concern

is, where will Avalon's undesirable crowd go? Crobar,

Spirit, or somewhere else? How about Spirit's shady

staff, will they get the boot, or remain entrenched?

Will Avalon's Techno bookings go with them to Spirit,

or will DJs like Chris Leibing and Mistress Barbara

again be relegated to small lounges and bars in NYC?

Will Crobar get their big name residents to return in

the fall? And what about Made Events, will they get

back the position at the top of the promotions food

chain that they held for so many years when they were

calling shots at Twilo? Or will Avalon sweep Made out

of Spirit and tempt the big names from Crobar back to

530 West 27th street.

And what about the rumored foreign invasion, will they

find a home, will they take over some other venue,

will they hoard the crowds and the DJs, or are the

rumors all just a bunch of malarkey?

When it gets down to brass tacks, I guess the

questions that actually matter are pretty simple...

Where will the DJs that we want to see end up and will

there be a reliable spot that the music heads will be

able to go to enjoy a top night out sans odious

patrons? All we can do is wait and see.

BAD CROWDS

Speaking of bad crowds... You hear the talk all the

time, "Oh that place has such a horrible crowd." "The

crowd there sucks."

So what exactly is a shitty crowd? What

characteristics do those folks have that help annoy

your everyday happy-go-lucky clubber? It is a

difficult thing to say, especially considering the

fact that one person's bad crowd might be another

person's best friends. But I think there are some

specific behaviors out there that we can easily

categorize as the conduct of a bad crowd.

There are of course the generalized groups that you

see and often make the snap judgments on such as

Bridge & Tunnel Guidos, Juiced-up Meatheads, Muscle

Marys, Pretentious Hipsters, Coke Whores, Yuppie

Broker Scum, The Cracked Out Asian Mafia, and your

everyday Thugs. Now I urge you not to judge a book by

its cover because I know any number of people that

might at first glance appear to be from any of these

subspecies of clubber but are in fact totally cool,

fun, smart, and great people. There are only a few

specific behaviors that place folks from these groups

firmly into the shitty crowd category... are you

ready?

GROPING.

Guidos, Meatheads, and Yuppies are usually the ones

most guilty of this. It's really rather simple, keep

your grimy hands off of my women friend's ass you

scumbag. For some reason there are dudes out there who

consider grabbing a girls ass or arm or even tits as

she tries to walk by as an acceptable form of

communication. I don't know where they got this idea,

but besides being obnoxious and illegal, it also helps

drive the women away from your club. And a club

without ladies is not somewhere I want to be on a

Saturday night.

VIOLENCE.

Thugs and Asian Mafia are known for it of course but

Guidos also seem to enjoy pretending to be hard-asses

from time to time. There have been a few incidents I

have heard of lately and it is ridiculous. You are out

to listen to music, have a laugh, and enjoy yourself.

If you want to be a tough guy, go to Staten Island.

PRETENSIOUSNESS.

"This DJ sucks. The club is crap. That person is

smiling, what a loser." There are a surprising amount

of people who go out clubbing who actually do not

enjoy it and never really have. These people are the

types that do not have fun anywhere. Often your

Yuppies, Hipsters, and Coke Whores are in this group,

going out to clubs because that is what is deemed cool

by the cognoscenti. Then they bitch and moan the whole

time they are there. If you gotta complain, stay home

and whine about what's on TV instead.

CRACKINESS.

Anybody can be guilty of this of course because

everyone loves to get a little cracked out every once

in a while. Please though, when getting wasted in

public try to keep from drooling, please avoid falling

into, stepping on, or spilling over people, and try to

retain the ability to walk upright. I am not saying

you should not feel free to enjoy yourself but, please

know your limits. Oh yeah, and don't ask or offer me

drugs if you do not know me. Besides being tacky and

foolish, it is that asinine behavior that helps get

clubs shut down by the cops. If you are unable to

handle these requirements and you absolutely must eat

9 pills, snort an 8-ball, take 25 bumps of K and drink

a quart of gin, please spare us and make sure you stay

home and do it in your mom's basement in Jersey.

Now remember - it is not what people look like that

makes a bad crowd but rather specific behavior these

idiots occasionally engage in. If you want to avoid

being part of that shitty crowd, remember to bring a

good attitude, and open mind, a love for the music,

and if you absolutely must... your own damn supplies

[majinbuu]

hahaha...did u write that?

[elevatedflow]

Oh yeah got this from a friend on My Space. Had to share it, it was so on point!

-thanks rewind

[majinbuu]

Oh yeah got this from a friend on My Space.

-thanks rewind

quick answer...

[stompy]

it's from another board

[dkny8]

Was jacked from Rhythmism.com

[elevatedflow]

ok now that we all know the origin of it .. im was never trying to take credit, but im sayin, its on point!

[ClubbinGuido]

That was a damn good read. Definitly on point and funny at the same time.

"Yuppie Broker Scum"... "The Cracked Out Asian Mafia"...

[willtrahan]

That was so on point.

[housedog]

Whoever wrote it, I think it is FUCKIN brilliant. Pretty much sums up NYC

that is the second good post/thread today. There is a post on DTOURISM about Losing our freedom/ living in a police state. The thread is so on point that it is scary.

[CoPa99]

That Was Great! I Have Nothin To Add To That!

[silverbull]

somebody forgot to mention the ORIGINAL LIMELIGHT was on 7th ave south. And it was a great read, but luckily this only applies to certain rooms and not all rooms or parties.

[elevatedflow]

to good to let fall off the first page

[nomembername]

way to plagiarize elevatedflow

[elevatedflow]

way to plagiarize elevatedflow

its been clearly stated that i take no credit for what is written ... but thanks for reading!