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Alcoholoscopes


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Guest gabo

VIRGO

Drinking style

Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their bender. Their famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less than other signs, sure -- but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking down organic wine or just to brand loyalty.

They rarely get

fully shellacked -- but, oh, when they do! Virgo's controlled by the intellect, but there's an unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when walloped. It's dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy).

As one Virgo friend used to declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low level of intelligence tonight." A toast to the subgenius IQ!

goooooooo virgos

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Guest gabo
pretty acurate...if they threw in drunken slut it would be right on the $$
don't you mean drunken stupid whorebag that can't take a punch?
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Guest gabo
Yikes. Gabo is wooing all the women. yikes.

How much do you owe her gabo, here we go again.

naaa, I am friends with her... I do owe her for an 8-ball I stole from her though.
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LIBRA

Drinking style

"I'm just a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's jusht that I'm so damn social?" Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Friend device set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really work a room. Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which can get them into all sorts of trouble -- including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early in the evening, flirting with their best friend's beau or even blacking out the night's events entirely.

Oops!

definitely dead on. especially for this weeks events.

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also left out crotch-grabbing and putting my arm around people's shoulders while kissing their ears in an attempt to talk to them

or grinding up on bitches to house music

This Emjay sounds like a little firecracker.. cant wait.

She cleans toilets like a champ. You guys would be perfect for each other....you can poo all day and she can clean it up. 783.gif

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ARIES

Drinking style

Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don't know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot contests.

They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk is a good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you -- so long as you haven't gone and done anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky Gemini.

...so true its scary :(

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SCORPIO

Drinking style

Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them see the sauce as something to savor in itself, and not as a personality-altering tool though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally,they're fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also remember everything -- especially what you did when you were blitzed Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.

Spot on...

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SCORPIO

Drinking style

Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them see the sauce as something to savor in itself, and not as a personality-altering tool though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally,they're fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also remember everything -- especially what you did when you were blitzed Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.

Spot on...

"al you fuckin KILLED me" :laugh:;)

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SAGITTARIUS

Drinking style

In vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze

blurtiness: When buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own. Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?). They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a playground, or Cancun. Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call).

so true :D

yep ;)

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