winchillin Posted August 1 Report Share Posted August 1 does anyone else go thru the same struggle i do?? my parents and i always seem to have this battle about the things i do. they think i'm going thru this 'rebel' phase..they think i dress like a 'hooligan' and that i sell drugs!! my mom always turns off my music, complaining that the heavy bass gives her a headache. she thinks that dance clubs 'are the devils playground!'..and when i go out, it's always so scandalous. i wish they could understand why i love going dancing, being around people that are on the same wavelength as me and just forgetting about the chaos of reality for a couple hours...i wish they could at least try to understand..but instead, it's always a constant head-bashing. it's not like i'm a brainless drifter..i mean, i'm going to a good private university and studying for a BS in engineering...i get my shit done so i can party...*sighs*...will we ever see eye to eye??? does anyone else out there have the same problems?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trance604 Posted August 1 Report Share Posted August 1 I go thru that, but im going to college and moving away....until tehn i ve just learned to take their shit. literally, the stuff they throw out is meaningless. My parents have no idea what ecstacy is...they have no idea that alcohol in all forms is readily available and that having sex at age 16 is not uncommon..yet they bitch about me going out. i think they just dont want me too, its not cuz they didnt get too..in India no one goes out at night after 10 or 12, i tihnk its just cuz tehy think its bad for me in some way? i admit coming home at 6 or 7 am on saturday is freakish but.....im as puzzled as you and theres nothing i can do about it..and dont even talk about playing the music in the house...and in the car its always too loud..i pump money into my car stereo to make myself deaf tehy say..VJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkFloyd40 Posted August 1 Report Share Posted August 1 don't have the necessary nrg i need to exert on this topic now- but, stay tuned...-Rob------------------"And thus they give the time, that Nature meantFor peaceful sleep and meditative snores,To ceaseless din and mindless merrimentAnd waste of shoes and floors." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyfeet Posted August 1 Report Share Posted August 1 the answer to your problem = move out, get your own place. it worked for me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueangel Posted August 1 Report Share Posted August 1 It's sad but true that as long as they provide the roof over YOUR head . . . you really have no choice but to take in what ever crap they throw at you. No, you will NEVER see eye to eye with your parents until you become a parent yourself. It's the fact of life . . . law of nature. Your parents probably went through the same thing with your grandparents . . . ask your grandparents, they'll tell you all sorts of rebellious stories about what your parents did to them. It's natural for the old generation to be confused and not understand our generation. We will do the same with our children's generation as well. They'll be listening to some funky noise and we'll be listening to S&D saying to them that this is REAL music not that mixture of noise you're listening to!! Trust me all of us have probably gone through that at one point or another if we're not going through it as we speak . . . unless your parents were a major hippie then you have it so cool!! That's what I would like to be to my kids (if I ever have them). I wanna have the mentality of a hippie and be free with my kids so that hopefully I'll understand them better. Keeping my fingers crossed.Don't sweat it maxine. If you don't like it that much then get your shit together, find a decent job and a roommate, and move out. Then you can be your own boss. Of course the flip side to that is that you'll have more responsibilities and bills. MUCH MORE BILLS! Or stay in the comfort of your parent's home and take their crap. You decide.BlueAngel------------------Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djchris Posted August 1 Report Share Posted August 1 Someday you'll thank your parent's for caring. TRUST ME.------------------It's all in the music Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2basics Posted August 1 Report Share Posted August 1 BlueAngel < ---- would make a great mum.I think what Blue is saying is 100% true. Just give it time, it's took me till 26 to be able to speak to my parents on the same level. Mainly i think because my parents were as bad as me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueangel Posted August 1 Report Share Posted August 1 B2B, ohhhhh you say the sweetest things!! What more can a girl want then to hear that she would make a great mum! Hey! Are you still coming to NYC this month or what?? Let me know.BlueAngel------------------Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2basics Posted August 1 Report Share Posted August 1 No you would, that's great advice by anybody's standard. Yeah should be just waiting to here about a training course in Texas.. my company has money to spend so I may have to go down to tacky Texas (sorry to anybody who is from there) for a WEEK! But it will be soon ( I have an open ended ticket). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandie Posted August 1 Report Share Posted August 1 well, just about the only thing my parents LIKE is when i go out all nite . . . my parents met at a club, my mom was like the disco queen, lol, so she pulls shit out of her closet that she still has and is like "wear this, you'd look HOT" tee hee. but then they worry if i'm just going to chill at one of my friend's houses . . . try to figure that one out. my parents are nice - like the other nite we had some driving issues, so they came and picked up two cracked-out kids (me and the bf) from the train station at nine or so in the morning, made us breakfast, and wanted to hear all about the club . . . it's nice. the only times my mother and i had problems was when i lied to her about going out, etc. so that she wouldn't worry all nite long . . . because it was like she knew, and she didn't - parents are just good like that.my parents knew about the drugs all along - not really to what extent, but they kinda just let it slide . . . or try to torture me by offering me massive amounts of food when they know i took e and i'm not f*ing hungry! my parents care TOO much, and i know that's not a bad thing, and i'll thank them for it later . . . it just sometimes seems overwhelming. They get all hyped up about strange things - like my mom knew my friend wanted to go out saturday nite w/ us, so she created this elaborate plan of how she could go out, go to my house, my mom would drive her to work, etc. - but for stupid little things - like lying and telling people i'm not home - they won't do it. It's strange how parents are sometimes. and then i look at other people's parents . . . and i think that mine really aren't that bad at all - think about it, they may give you an early curfew, but do they beat you? do they make you work to provide for them? do they pay for your education? did they watch out for you the whole time you were growing up and mold you into the person you are today? they do more little things for you that you take for granted all the time - without parents at all, you wouldnt even exist. and blueangel - i'm totally with you - i hope that when i have kids i can be openminded and actually understand them . . . maybe i can teach my husband to think like that - since now the bf tells me that our daughter's not going out until she's 30!!! bullshit - i'm gonna be one of those older women you see at a club, out w/ my daughter and all her friends. damn that's long . . . sorry . . . i coulda kept going too. oops. tee heeluv,brandie ------------------"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."brandie@optonline.net Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trance604 Posted August 1 Report Share Posted August 1 Seems like you hit it on the head Brandie. My parents also care too much...they wont mind if i temm them im going out to a club or a party or something all nite but going to a friends house is not cool with them, and then they want me home before 1 or 2 AM....i guess its the price you pay for living with them but hell, id rather live with them then shell out money for an apartment of sort especially since i go to school in Atlanta now for 9 months of the year..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathyo Posted August 1 Report Share Posted August 1 They just care. I remember not seeing eye to eye on a lot of issues with my parents but I knew it was only because the worried about me. You can say you won't be that way with your kids...but you will. I'm allowed to say that because I have two boys ages 11 and 5. I worry about them constantly. Every caring parent is a hypocrite. I don't want them to do some of the things I've done (although I'm sure they will). I'll worry when they're out late and I'll do all the things my parents used to do to me when I scared them to death. Parents will always worry about us because they know we don't worry about ourselves enough. BTW, cherish them, I lost my Mom 2 yrs ago when I was 26. I wish she was still around to badger me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathyo Posted August 1 Report Share Posted August 1 Hey cheer up, they love you! It's hard to believe it but you will do all the same things they do one day and you'll understand. I know this because I have 2 boys of my own ages 11 and 5 and I worry about them constantly. All good parents are hypocrites. That's the conclusion I've drawn. I don't want my kids to do some of the stuff I've done (although I know they will). Parents have to worry about us because they know we don't worry about ourselves enough. By the way, don't take it for granted, I lost my Mom 2 yrs ago to cancer when I was 26. I wish she was still here to badger me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathyo Posted August 1 Report Share Posted August 1 OOPS!! I didn't think the first post went through. My computer here at work sucks!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueangel Posted August 1 Report Share Posted August 1 brandie, that's how I want to be with my kids. Exactly how your parents are . . . The bottom line is exactly what cathyo wrote . . . they worry cause they love you. BlueAngel------------------Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tripinchick Posted August 1 Report Share Posted August 1 I can remember going through the same crap. At the time it seemed my parents were putting me through hell. When actually I was the one putting them through hell. They do understand you to some degree, maybe not your music, I mean they understand what your giong through, I am sure they went through it too with their parents.For a while I alienated myself from them, leaving the house, living on the street, getting mixed up with the wrong scene. Basically destroying myself. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I thank them for me being alive today. I know a few people who's parent's were not so "Caring" and are either still out there or dead today.I know it sounds stupid now but be greatfull they are such pains in the A**. As you get older things do get better.Much Love------------------** Shake It Baby **~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -Tchick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2basics Posted August 2 Report Share Posted August 2 Brandie, wow thats the Love & War of posts!My parents sound very similar to yours, right down to bringing me a huge plate of food on a Sunday afternoon.When i told my parents about the drugs, they were most worried about the weed, until they spent a huge ammount of time researching... now they know more than me!Just interested how many only children? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winchillin Posted August 2 Author Report Share Posted August 2 brandie - dang, your parents sound maad chill. my parents flip out when i'm not home b/4 4...i once came home at 9am and it got pretty ugly. and i used to be able to say that i was spendin the night at my friend's place and stay out all night, but my parents caught on so now i can't even do that anymore! i know my parents only have my best interests at heart and i am extremely grateful for all the sacrifices they've made in order to provide for me. they totally don't understand what it's like growin up in american b/c they were both raised in china. being an ABC (American Born Chinese) is hard enough (language and cultural barriers) but tryin to explain how it's really ok to go clubbin and stayin out. as far as drugs go, FORGET IT! my parents found out once that i smoked up and they flipped...so if they ever found out about the other things...well..let's just hope they never do! but i agree w/ blueangel and hope that my experiences will make me a much more open-minded mother...so that the relationship between me and my daughter/son will be more relaxed!max Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djbobbyzee Posted August 3 Report Share Posted August 3 Wow...you ARE getting old, with a reply like that. But it's true. Just be thankful your parents are still there for you. One day you may come home from clubbing, look around and realize that you're alone.Happened to me. Originally posted by djchris:Someday you'll thank your parent's for caring. TRUST ME. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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