Is infidelity needed in a relationship..

[Guest LeVeL]

Do u believe that cheating or having a side partner is a good thing? Living in this day in age where one is usually stressed out from work, bills and kids. One sometimes needs an outlet either it be surfing the net, having a drink or simply have a night out with friends.

The reason I bring this subject up is that more and more people that I talk to that are in relationships or marriages tend to have that person they can go to when things are not going too right in the relationship. I hear that it makes the bond you have with your significant other much better.

This side partner can either provide you a nice conversation, some good company or can provide raw sex. People all over the world are doign this even people with power around the world.

Being in a relationship I find this totally unacceptable. But as time goes by you see more and more infidelities out there its weird when you dont see n cheating going on but then again it depends on what the people in a relationship consider cheating or unproper behavior.

[ryan2772]

only latins do this

[Guest saintjohn]

Do u believe that cheating or having a side partner is a good thing?

No. Infidelity might work for some people' date=' but not for me.

Fidelity? High Fidelity.

[Bling]

DO U MEAN SIDE PARTNER AS IN A FRIEND? or fuckbuddy.. i def dont condone fuck buddies but side friends and having time away from significant other at times is healthy for a relationship. u dont want to suffocate each other.

[Guest pod]

only latins do this

Hahaha. ;D

Well in all honesty, in most urban centers, I've found that people that are dating and married, more often than not, do have something on the side.

If everyone's OK all around with this, I see no problem with the situation.

The one factor I've seen is where the guy has his "main" girl, and then maybe one on the side at the club or whatever. Now, the oddball thing is that he expects both girls to be loyal to him, despite his infidelity. This leads to issues, since each girl does know, even if he doesn't know they know. And then the girls are sneaking off and doing their own thing. It always happens. I've seen it every time.

In my mind it's best to have shit like that out in the open just to head off any potential problems.

I have no issues with people being disloyal to each other as long as they are honest.

Now, kids change everything. If you're gonna spawn forth, you gotta cut the crap.

[Guest Buck White]

It's not cheating if you just put the head in for a few strokes.

It's true.

[Guest MayLing]

only latins do this

that's an ignorant comment. EVERYBODY that wants to cheat, cheats.

nationality doesnt play a role in who does it or not.

i personally dont think that cheating should be condoned or accepted as a good thing. HOWEVER, you are right about how now a days its almost looked at like a non-issue.

[Guest drlogic]

Web Service Gives Alibis For Adulterers

French Adulterers Have A New Ally In Web-Based Alibi Service

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/09/12/ap/strange/main3253319.shtml

[Guest drlogic]

If you marry "ugly", then you probably don't have to worry about getting cheated on.

Or,,,here's another passing thought....

as long as you don't have intercourse, then it's not cheating. oral isn't "sex", remember?

[Guest pod]

It's par for the course in clubland. You have no idea how many times I've gotten "requests" by people not to publish images because they're with someone that they cannot be seen with.

OK, then. Then why the hell did you ask me for a photo?

Weirdos.

Now, is monogamy the natural state of man?

[ryan2772]

i was just kidding.

(not really.)

[Guest drlogic]

It's not cheating if you just put the head in for a few strokes.

It's true.

just the tip? you play that game too?

honesty, this is an interesting subject. culture is changing. women are much more aggressive nowadays. Guys always have been. Marriage is tough. It's work. Kids make it even tougher.

I guess my opinion on this would be....if you're gonna do it, then do it, but don't lie. Come clean to your "friend"....and I guess you might wanna cheat w/ someone who has just as much to lose as you do...(ie...someone married like you...or w/ kids if you have kids..etc..). Keep it physical....NO SPOONING! NO PILLOW TALK! Just straight up SPLACKING!

Then, when you get home,,,,throw away all your mirrors...so that you don't have get disgusted everytime you look @ yourself in the mirror. LOL

[Guest pod]

I think Ryan's been invested with the ghost of Barbarino.

At the end of the day, I sit back and laugh at a lot of this stuff. I see known womanizers and maneaters out and about, pretending to be monogamous, and perhaps even being so.

But, as they say, you can take the girl out the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the girl. If your state of being is either being a whore or a man-whore, why fight it?

[Guest dahzel]

It all depends on the people, of course. I was in an eleven year relationship and for the first 10 years it was as perfect as anyone could want out of a relationship. In the last year of our relationship we started talking a lot more about being with other people. It was the begining of the end. When it all came to an end we both had found someone else and we were both very happy with our decisions. In retrospect the fact that we both wanted to be with other people should have sent up flags that there was something seriously wrong with our once great relationship. At the time we didn't see anything wrong with some curiosity of being with other people... WRONG!

Now I'm with a girl that I'm engaged to and the thought of being with someone else has not even entered my mind. Not being monogomous is fine for some people as long as the couple is on the same page and is honest with eachother but it is definitely not for me. The thought of someone else with my woman makes me sick to my stomach. Now if it is two people looking for a good time than by all means, fornicate away. If two people have strong feelings for eachother I think in most cases it would be detrimental to the relationship.

It all depends on the individuals.

[Guest pod]

Exactly. Individual preference. I dont' slag on anyone for "playing the field", as long as all parties involved are honest with each other.

Being that 95 percent of the relationships in Miami are built on lies, does it surprise anyone that this is common?

[Guest coach]

If you marry "ugly", then you probably don't have to worry about getting cheated on.

You've obviously never watched Jerry Springer. I really don't myself, but when I am flipping by I am sometimes flabbergasted by what goes on. You've got some guy married to a butt-ugly bitch and then they bring out his mistress and she is even more horrifying! (Works the other way, too.)

[Guest drlogic]

BIGRAVEDAVE:

Good 4 u....10 yrs. is a long time. I'm going on 10 yrs. together, almost 7 married.

I hope things work out in your new relationship. They def. are work.

Men & Woman are just so frigin' different. I swear sometimes I tell myself....."why are chics so friggin' whacked? why are they such emotional cripples?" Not that guys are pefect..far from it. But we def. are much simpler creatures.

Sex to a man isn't very personal(i'm generalizing)

To a woman, she's gotta receive something inside of her...so it's diff. Put a wig on a bannana tree and drill a whole in the trunk and some guy is gonna fuck it. GARUHNDAMNTEED!

If you cheat,,,,a guy will probably regret it the moment he blows his load.....he's not really thinking until that point.....once he shoots,,,he's probably gonna tell himself "man, was this worth it? I would have been better off if I would have just jerked off.......but damn, I'm hungry" LOL

[Guest pod]

It's the way it always falls.

Makes for great entertainment though. I should write a book some day.

[Guest dahzel]

Good 4 u....10 yrs. is a long time. I'm going on 10 yrs. together, almost 7 married.

I hope things work out in your new relationship. They def. are work.

Men & Woman are just so frigin' different. I swear sometimes I tell myself....."why are chics so friggin' whacked? why are they such emotional cripples?" Not that guys are pefect..far from it. But we def. are much simpler creatures.

Sex to a man isn't very personal(i'm generalizing)

To a woman, she's gotta receive something inside of her...so it's diff. Put a wig on a bannana tree and drill a whole in the trunk and some guy is gonna fuck it. GARUHNDAMNTEED!

If you cheat,,,,a guy will probably regret it the moment he blows his load.....he's not really thinking until that point.....once he shoots,,,he's probably gonna tell himself "man, was this worth it? I would have been better off if I would have just jerked off.......but damn, I'm hungry" LOL

and it seems that the harder you work on it, the stronger the bond comes between you two. I learned that a big part of love is having problems and then working through them and proving to eachother that you're devoted.

and thank you... we have decided to move out of south florida to start new somewhere else (somewhere we can actually afford to buy a home). I have feelings for this girl that I never had in my other relationship so I think we'll be fine.

[Guest Dj_Peace]

Men Are From MArs, Women ARe From Venus or His NEeds, Her NEeds -all say it very succinctly -men adn women are wired different -don't try to analyze it -just accept it and move on. I have been married 11 years -we have been together 12 years-and my wife has contunuously done different thigns to keep the interest level and the fidelity in place. WE have great communication -honest communication -which strngthens our trust -as well as we have a common spiritual grounding/faith system. QWe both understand the necessity for each to be given space adn down time with individual friends. We do not get jealous about that -especially since we make sure that each of us knows the others friends - ALL of them. Finally, we still date-yes that's right -my wife adn I still date -even though we have two children. We ge reliable childcare and have our weekly date except for whenever I am on the road playing out. Part of the date night is the flirting that we do with each other prior to date night. Hope that helps somebody. ;D

[Guest Buck White]

....and then they both get the clap. The wife, too. She gets clap and gives it to that stud at the gym. This will be the second time he caught gonorrhea from someone else's wife.

[Guest dahzel]

Men Are From MArs, Women ARe From Venus or His NEeds, Her NEeds -all say it very succinctly -men adn women are wired different -don't try to analyze it -just accept it and move on. I have been married 11 years -we have been together 12 years-and my wife has contunuously done different thigns to keep the interest level and the fidelity in place. WE have great communication -honest communication -which strngthens our trust -as well as we have a common spiritual grounding/faith system. QWe both understand the necessity for each to be given space adn down time with individual friends. We do not get jealous about that -especially since we make sure that each of us knows the others friends - ALL of them. Finally, we still date-yes that's right -my wife adn I still date -even though we have two children. We ge reliable childcare and have our weekly date except for whenever I am on the road playing out. Part of the date night is the flirting that we do with each other prior to date night. Hope that helps somebody. ;D

a date night is extremely important. really, anytime that the couple can spend together out of the house and away from everyday life is nice.

[Guest drlogic]

and it seems that the harder you work on it, the stronger the bond comes between you two. I learned that a big part of love is having problems and then working through them and proving to eachother that you're devoted.

Couldn't have said it better myself. I can attest to that. Problem today is that too many just quit at the first sign of any struggle. It's that struggle, if tackled together that will ultimately help add to the foundation of that relationship. Granted, this doesn't apply for everyone. But all in all, I think it's something worth noting.

Good luck w/ the house hunting.

In my case, I basically found a girl who puts up w/ my bullshit. I guess that's another way too help a guy decide whether or not "she's the one". If she puts up w/ your shit and has seen your ugly side and sticks around, keep her. Not many girls out there will. Many just wanna be kept and hope to "learn to love" the guy that promises to have her kept....like one would take care of a pet. Those are the couples that'll end up @ Miami Velvet.....MV baby!!!! YEAH!@!!! LMAO.

[Guest coach]

Look, you guys need to quit assuming that everyone is like you. *You* may not understand women, but that doesn't mean nobody does. All that means is that you don't.

[Guest trancepriest]

Well nature is largely polygamous. Human females living together often have their estrous cycles at the same time. Which is similar in the animal kingdom especially with lion prides. This is to make sure that the young are born at the same time... ensuring survival and communal babysitting. A young cub born out of cycle will likely get picked on by the older cubs and also not be strong enough to move with the pride. Also the alpha male is clearly evident in humans too... albeit more based on materialism than brawn.

I'm more in the mindset of overcoming the bonds of nature and being a enlightened human being. But of course being enlightened could just be a rare blessing from nature.