back2basics- Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 Ok someting that's been playing on my mind for a bit now.For the last 10 years i have been happily canning it clubbing etc. I have always taken the 'If she don't except my lifestyle, she doesn't except me' stance.But over the new year i have a bit of a fling with somebody i liked quiet a bit, who would't be happy at all with the drugs. It got me thinking that by having my lifestyle, restricts some potential relationships that may have been perfect.Any thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flying_high Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 I don't know...for me it's different. See I've only started a couple of years ago with the whole clubbing thing (although I'm not as "hardcore" as many other people seem here). Now I think, I want to be with someone who has shared the same experience and enjoys the same kind of things. I've been with some really totally opposite characters and somehow I always felt pretty restricted and not totally free to be myself.... ------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shugabooga Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 to give up your freedom and clubbin' lifestyle, you have to be READY and you have to have the RIGHT PERSON at the RIGHT TIME. maybe this girl you've met is worth it. if you're ready for a relationship and you really like this person, give it a shot for a while. be honest with her and tell her you've partied in the past, but for the right person you would give it up. good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peache5030 Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 I can relate so much to this..My ex- boyfriend of three years had no clue about my night life...the clubs, the drugs, etc..and for that reason I felt like I was never REALLY myself..BUT now, im dating someone who is into the scene and it is soo much easier for me to relate to him on that level..I think if this is YOUR life..then changing or pretending for someone else will not allow you to really connect with them.. and then what the hell is the purpose of "being together"?? ------------------Dont ever stop smiling-->you never know who is falling in love with your smile...I dont cry because it ENDED--> I smile because we HAPPENED.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 Hmm.. I think that if you are ready to give up (or maybe slow down) your party life and try to "settle down", then it's your decision and it's only normal to want to have a "normal" life. Partying is fun but everyone knows that you can't do it your whole life. If she doesn't understand why you like clubbing, and you still want to go out all the time, then it's a diff issue. But if you yourself wanna slow down, then it's all good.Drugs are a completely different issue. A lot of ppl go out and party without drugs (drink, smoke).. I'd imagine that a lot of ppl would NOT have a problem with their bf/gfs going out, but WOULD have a problem with them doing drugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitty19 Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 Originally posted by back2basics-:It got me thinking that by having my lifestyle, restricts some potential relationships that may have been perfect.would it be perfect if you were restricting yourself from doing the things in life that you enjoyed, whether it be legal or illegal?a good relationship allows me to be myself, and my partner is accepting of my qualities and my flaws. ------------------*kitty19**turn it around baby* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littled Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 i see it like this, there's a time and a place for everything. you've been in the scene for a long time and maybe it's time to move on. i'm not saying the party's over, but if you're battling with the thought of drugs and someone you may have feelings for the right choice should be obvious (nooooo, not the drugs). think of it like this--this girl may bring you a lifetime of happiness, but how long are the drugs good for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divalicious Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 If I may...I tend to have the same sort of attitude. I want someone who loves partying, and won't try to stop me from having fun with my youth... The difference with me is that I don't think that the clubbing lifestyle and drugs necessarily have to go hand in hand... ------------------ Peace Love Happiness y'all DivaliciousNYC@aol.com [This message has been edited by divalicious (edited 01-05-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrissybumps Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 I am going through the same problem. Been with my man for a year now and he is 36 years old and get get out of the scene and i am only 23 and don't care for it much anymore and it has put a huge toll on our relationship! When will it ever end and when will he realize what he is missing out on and quit it???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickijay Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 yeah, i agree with monique on this one but i have to say that my ex is always making little digs at me about drugs....like the xmas card he send me. it said "honey, i hope this reaches you, not sure if i sent it to the right address. i found a letter you'd sent me when you weren't shooting up, snorting, smoking and drinking!"....this is coming from a dude who will do any drug offered to him but he thinks that b/c i go clubbing that i'm ALWAYS doing drugs which isn't true. i think if you find the right person and you absolutely know she or he is "the one", you won't think twice about making some sacrifices for the relationship, but this goes both ways. there should be some sort of compromise but you shouldn't have to change completely for the relationship to work. that's when you start to lose sight of yourself!!------------------ Boink like a snow bunny!!!uknj@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neydogs Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 This is something I have thought about a lot. Being into the club scene really shouldn't restrict anything in your life, however if you are into the club scene and do drugs that's a different thing. I'm getting pretty old myself and I have to say that I have been reviewing the choices I've made and I can see how my life has gone certain directions that it otherwise wouldn't have if I never got into drugs. Ya know what fuck it, what's done is done. You have to live for the moment. But I think you might be going through what I am experiencing right now and this girl is just helping you to see the light. Let me tell you that clubbing is just as much fun if not more fun, SOBER!!! maybe she could dig that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoidandroid Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 I'd be interested to know why she wouldn't be accepting of your drug taking.I definitely wouldn't recommend telling her everything about your drug experiences to begin with if she hasn't had much exposure to it. Potentially over time, she would be able to see that they can be used in moderation and by people who can live successful lives.If she can't accept that some people either think it's okay to experiment or that some people want to live differently without that being a reflection on her, then things may be difficult.------------------* i love sex always and forever *and they tell me that women grow on treesand if you catch them right they will land upon their knees Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrissybumps Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 BEING IN THE CLUB SCENE TOGETHER IS GREAT IN THE BEGINNING BUT AFTER A WHILE IT RUINS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WHEN HARD CORE FEELINGS SET IN!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petp Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 of course it restricts youre potential relationships.....for example, if a girl doesnt like for a guy to smoke, then she wont go out with them. there's nothing wrong with that, everyone is free and perfectly obligated to have certain criteria in their prospective mates. i know i do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flying_high Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 Originally posted by back2basics-: Well it's not about this girl, she is thousands of miles away, but it's about finding me somebody and espesially while i am over here the drugs issue is a big thing.She just got me thinking about it.Somehow I find you're thinking really sweet. I mean sometimes I'm not so sure about this whole board thing but that post here makes me believe in men and that they can DO have deep thoughts (sorry just too many bad experience)...Thanks.------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2basics- Posted January 5 Author Report Share Posted January 5 Originally posted by flying_high: Somehow I find you're thinking really sweet. I mean sometimes I'm not so sure about this whole board thing but that post here makes me believe in men and that they can DO have deep thoughts (sorry just too many bad experience)...Thanks.Well deep, or knocking on a bit and not wanting to spend the rest of my life alone... you choose, but thanks anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrissybumps Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 TO NEYDOGS!well we used to go out together every weekend and had a very good time together and would never go out without each and now we had problems that came in the realtionship and i think going out and partying until 2:00 the next day and not doing the nicer things couples do together and wasting the next day sleeping all day it does take a toll after awhile..especially when you start talking about marriage and those sorts of things. he is 36 years old and I think its time to give that up already..not saying to totally jump out of the scene but at least mellow it down to once a month or something until you weine yourself out. If you love someone enought you have to give up somethings that hurting the relationship...like one said before the person you love can give you a lifetime of happiness but can drugs???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flying_high Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 Originally posted by back2basics-: Well deep, or knocking on a bit and not wanting to spend the rest of my life alone... you choose, but thanks anyway. Know exactly what you mean ...and you're welcome.------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2basics- Posted January 5 Author Report Share Posted January 5 Originally posted by chrissybumps:TO NEYDOGS!well we used to go out together every weekend and had a very good time together and would never go out without each and now we had problems that came in the realtionship and i think going out and partying until 2:00 the next day and not doing the nicer things couples do together and wasting the next day sleeping all day it does take a toll after awhile..especially when you start talking about marriage and those sorts of things. he is 36 years old and I think its time to give that up already..not saying to totally jump out of the scene but at least mellow it down to once a month or something until you weine yourself out. If you love someone enought you have to give up somethings that hurting the relationship...like one said before the person you love can give you a lifetime of happiness but can drugs???? That's exactly how i feel, every now and again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neydogs Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 Originally posted by chrissybumps:BEING IN THE CLUB SCENE TOGETHER IS GREAT IN THE BEGINNING BUT AFTER A WHILE IT RUINS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WHEN HARD CORE FEELINGS SET IN!! Do you really think so? Did you have a bad experience, just curious, cause Charrails and I have been dating for almost 2 years now. Do tell, you've peaked my interest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2basics- Posted January 6 Author Report Share Posted January 6 Just to clarify, it's not the scene, i will always go out and go clubbing.It's just the drugs aspect, i know what your all saying about doing what i want to do, and yes i do stil enojoy drugs... but if i had to choose between drugs and love iw would be stupid to choose and drug based reality to love. They can be fun but they ain't my life.It worries me that somebody i could really get into has passed me by because i was off my face... know what i mean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickijay Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 Originally posted by back2basics-:Just to clarify, it's not the scene, i will always go out and go clubbing.It's just the drugs aspect, i know what your all saying about doing what i want to do, and yes i do stil enojoy drugs... but if i had to choose between drugs and love iw would be stupid to choose and drug based reality to love. They can be fun but they ain't my life.It worries me that somebody i could really get into has passed me by because i was off my face... know what i mean?well is it too late for the two of you? were you always "off your face" when you were with her? if there's still a chance then you should give it a shot. if not then just keep this in mind when you next meet someone you could really care about!!------------------ Boink like a snow bunny!!!uknj@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewel44317 Posted January 6 Report Share Posted January 6 Originally posted by back2basics-:Ok someting that's been playing on my mind for a bit now.For the last 10 years i have been happily canning it clubbing etc. I have always taken the 'If she don't except my lifestyle, she doesn't except me' stance.But over the new year i have a bit of a fling with somebody i liked quiet a bit, who would't be happy at all with the drugs. It got me thinking that by having my lifestyle, restricts some potential relationships that may have been perfect.Any thoughts?Here's a crazy thought...ever consider stayin in the scene without the drugs? No matter how you slice it, drugs, of any kind, are not only bad for your relationships, but you as an entire person. It's not the "scene" that's a problem, it's not being able to enjoy it without drugs. If this chick has problems with you takin drugs, then that's one thing. I mean do u roll every week, or are we talkin once in awhile? If she hates the music/scene, well then you both need to figure out if you can accept this difference in each other. Me personally, I'm addicted to the music and no one could take it away from me...I wouldn't want them to, nor would I be with anyone who tried to. On the same note...I would never be with anyone who took drugs beyond the level of experimentation. Trying them, or doin em once in a awhile is a helluva lot different then, "If I go out, I roll." I mean, shit, the music alone is enough of a drug, anything else are just some sprinkles on top...colored sprinkles, but still just sprinkles. ------------------"Spontaneity is the key to spice in life" "Music makes the world go 'round...so keep it spinnin!" [This message has been edited by jewel44317 (edited 01-05-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2basics- Posted January 6 Author Report Share Posted January 6 Originally posted by uknjx2: well is it too late for the two of you? were you always "off your face" when you were with her? if there's still a chance then you should give it a shot. if not then just keep this in mind when you next meet someone you could really care about!!Well it's not about this girl, she is thousands of miles away, but it's about finding me somebody and espesially while i am over here the drugs issue is a big thing.She just got me thinking about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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