PinkFloyd40 Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 would you rather know or not know?dont' know where this came from, but remember havign a big discussion about it in one of my classes.and i'm not talking about there are signs of it everywhere, i mean you everything is perfectly normal, and you have no reason whatsoever to believe that your better half has someone else on the side. i played the devils advocate in class defending this argument:No, i'd rather not know. Think about it, if your happy and not upset in any way, and have no idea that something else is going on, totally trusting your gf/wife, always in a good mood and everything is working out great then why would you want to know?any thoughts?the general cheating motif is something i used to be very stuck on as i had been cheated on before. used to stop me from getting in to relationships, but i don't even think about it anymore which makes me so happy.-Rob------------------"People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they never use" -Soren Kierkegaard"People who know little are usually great talkers, while men who know much say little." -Rousseau"One must learn to be a sponge if one wants to be loved by hearts that overflow." -Frederich Neitzsche 2-Brandie&Rob-11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathyo Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 I would definitely want to know.Ignorance may be bliss but I can't be in a relationship where the love is one sided. He has to be involved in it as I am or I can't deal.Without a doubt.------------------ A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to it's old dimensions.~*~*~Don't use time or words carelessly, neither can be retrieved.~*~*~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fou Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 I want to know.If things where fine than she wouldn't need another sex mate.------------------ RA KNOWS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
risa06 Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 would I rather know??? hells YES....so I can kick his sorry ass out of my life!!!.....I rather know what is going behind my back and stress about it....than lie to myslef that everything is fine....when it NOT.... ------------------"I don't want you to love me........" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sully573 Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 Although I agree that our ultimate goal is happiness, I feel that happiness must be, in a sense, complete reality. Many great philosophers of the past have argued that we are all living in a dream world, and that nothing,as most humans see it, is reality at all. Assuming this theory, we are all living in an alternate world, and are not aware of true reality. Thus, we are all happy with this fictional lifestyle, and do not even have the power to understand or grasp the actual world we live in, which is apparently cold and morbid. I guess that these philosophers, as would most,support the claim that one doesnt need to know if his spouse is unfaithful if one is happy already. In other words,"what you don't know can't hurt you." I guess I agree with this to some extent. But there is another part of me that believes that the happiness cannot be complete without truth. I guess i'm torn on this issue. In light of recent issues with my ex, I would lean towards the claim that I would like to know if my boyfriend is cheating. Afterall, Im single now for that reason. * ------------------~The poor long for Riches,The rich long for Heaven,But the wise desire Tranquility.~*"The only good is knowledge. The only evil is ignorance."* Socrates*Love always starts with a kiss, and ends with a tear.* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2basics- Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 I would want to know, i dont want somebody else making decisions about my life for me... there again it may be a good idea for me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momadance Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 I would want to know so that I could find someone who I could have a real relationship with. one based on trust.Peace,Michael------------------"Puff, Puff, Pass" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReginaP Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 Of course, I'd want to know. I wouldn't want to go through life thinking that my relationship is 100% fine when in reality I'm being cheated on! That's just delusional ------------------=) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divalicious Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 I would definitely want to know, so that I could get out of the relationship. Cheating is an obvious sign that the relationship is not fulfilling in some way, hence the desire to stray. Why be in an unfulfilling relationship??? ------------------ Peace Love Happiness y'all DivaliciousNYC@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2basics- Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 Originally posted by ReginaP:Of course, I'd want to know. I wouldn't want to go through life thinking that my relationship is 100% fine when in reality I'm being cheated on! That's just delusional Really that's interesting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxlea Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 YES, I would like to know. If I'm in an intense relationship that I'm giving my 110% into I expect the same from him. I don't like being played for a fool and have my intelligence insulted. MY man and my man only!!! I DON'T SHARE!!!As my other female colleagues (sp)mentioned before...KICK HIS MUTHER F*ING ASS and the cheap trick that's w/ him!!!!! thug-life------------------People come into your life for reasons not yet known, keep your mind, heart and soul open.AIM: Xxlea77 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bratnik Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 I would definitely want to know. If hes cheating hes making the whole relationship a lie.. thats not happiness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djustinh Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 im with XXleah, if your into the relationship 100-110%, then hell i would want to know...cheating and liying suck, stay away from both. I learned that cheating is just not cool at all and liying is even worse... i learned all this the hardway. be faithful.-j-nice words xxLeah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReginaP Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 Originally posted by back2basics-: Really that's interesting Somehow I knew you'd have a comment ------------------=) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 Yes, agree with all said above. Harsh cold reality is better than the most beautiful lie. I'd rather know what a scumbag the person is and not waste another minute of my life on them. No matter how bad it hurts at that moment, the truth always comes out in the end and the sooner you find out, the better. The more time goes by, the harder it is to move on and forget about that person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxlea Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 Originally posted by djustinh:im with XXleah, if your into the relationship 100-110%, then hell i would want to know...cheating and liying suck, stay away from both. I learned that cheating is just not cool at all and liying is even worse... i learned all this the hardway. be faithful.-j-nice words xxLeah Thanx! I also learned the hard way, believe me it's not fun. So sad that these things you have to learn on your own rather than using your moms/friends advice.------------------People come into your life for reasons not yet known, keep your mind, heart and soul open.AIM: Xxlea77 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eggmok Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 honestly, brandie and i are just friends . . .------------------Life is too short to be small. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenny5150 Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 I would want to know if my boyfriend was cheating on me...then I'd take him for everything he's got. (I told him that from the beginning. He gave me a credit card, so he knows he better behave!) All joking aside, I'd be afraid my boyfriend would come home with some disease or virus. Most people can cure/mend a broken heart, but there are somethings out there with no cure. (Just another reason why I would want to know.)------------------"Love your enemies...cause your friends may turn out to be a bunch of bastards." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deanna11 Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 PFloyd40, i agree with you somewhat. i'm completely for ignorant bliss. besides, i think everyone's reality is unique, and if you really want to be satisfied with knowing everything going on, you have to determine the criteria that defines your reality. for instance, what do you need to be happy, what is a relationship, what does the other person in the relationship need, what do you need from them, etc. so maybe once you've defined your reality, you really would achieve better balance with your bf/gf being with someone else tooif i were never to know a bf was with someone else too, and everything between us was great, then i'd say cool. but more likely than not, i'd eventually find out. and then my upset would be exponentially increased by the fact that i am realizing my happiness during the relationship was fraudulent------------------FOR SALE: ROOMMATE. CHEAP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quanto_magnus Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 Rob, I see the point you made, but I'd still much rather know than not...Plus I tend to have a sixth sense about it... The only times (only a couple of times -- different gf's) I was cheated on, I knew immediately and confronted the person within hours of the "act"... Don't like that feeling at all. ------------------ Hugha.k.a. ibhugh, Bryan Adamsemail: ibhugh@yahoo.comaolim: hugesk8r Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schwingep Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 Rob,I really hate to break this to you...but remember that night at Limelight that you couldn't find Brandie for a while and I was missing too... - Pete ------------------------------------------ Upcoming Shows: ???My new web site...Version 1.04 http://www.naked-edge.com/schwinge.html DJSchwinge@naked-edge.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowchaser Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 I'd rather know about it...better to know and get out of a relationship that is fake...shit...I should know.Honesty and love are the keys to a successful relationship.And the best part about being in love...is the oral sex. ------------------ rain falls on everyone...the same old rain...and i'm trying to walk with you between the raindrops... shadowchaser076@aol.com exitsux@deeznutz.org Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkFloyd40 Posted January 4 Author Report Share Posted January 4 lsully- that is the exact argument i was pursuing.deanna- you also made a good pointthe fact is, that if you are happy and have no idea there is something else going on, totally ignorant to the fact then you would you still want to know? Its like saying that you could go forever w/o knowing...see, truth, to the individual is only as he or she sees it. various responses have stated, " i would want to know so i could get out of the relationship, b/c its not true." or something of that sort. however, if you never knew different, and were never enlightened of the deception, then to you that would be the truth.just take this scenario and then decide:a) told that someone is cheating on you, breakup, are miserable, etc. never told that you are being cheated on, never find out in your lifetime, happy as can be etc.which one would you take now?only problem is, its basically a purely hypothetical debate, as the sooner or later one would find outamazing what kind of topics come up when your cleaning out old papers cheating relationships are terrible when discovered, which deterred me from getting into anything for such a long time, and brandie has a hangup about the cheating thing too. which is why i know we're perfect b/c both of us knows how bad it hurts to be cheated on, so we'd never do it to each other -RobP.S. Pete, your dead, meet me at SF and we'll settle this------------------"People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they never use" -Soren Kierkegaard"People who know little are usually great talkers, while men who know much say little." -Rousseau"One must learn to be a sponge if one wants to be loved by hearts that overflow." -Frederich Neitzsche 2-Brandie&Rob-11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glowgirl Posted January 4 Report Share Posted January 4 I was in a relationship where I was being cheated on and i had some sort of clue but i approached him about it he denied it and this went on with him for 1 1/2 years til THEY were BUSTED! BY ME!!!If I knew the truth and had more self confidence He would have been on his ass and out the door!Im worth alot more now, and if someone thinks they are going to play me like they will LOSE BIG I have no problem getting someone that will treat me well and not like a piece of shit!!Sorry i got out of control but I hate sorry LOSERS that cheat I have no room in my life for them!------------------Hi! How ya doing? where ya been, I had thoughts of you all night long. Can't describe what you did, but you got me so!Aolimer: Glowgirl42000Email: Sugar4@earthlink.net Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandie Posted January 5 Report Share Posted January 5 Originally posted by schwingep:Rob,I really hate to break this to you...but remember that night at Limelight that you couldn't find Brandie for a while and I was missing too... - Pete now boys . . . no fighting over me . . . and PLEASE, if you're gonna fight, at least do it at EXIT . . . that way i can wear my booty shorts and dance around . .. luv,brandie------------------"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.""To love someone is something..to be loved by someone is something else..but to be loved by the one you love is everything.." Rob&Brandie AAF loves2cox@netscape.net AIM: loves2cox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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