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Masturbation Techniques


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I'm always up for some new and improved ways to blast one out. Since I never "get any", save for my occasional rendevous with Rich Suede, I need to know some other ways besides the conventional "hand" thing. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my hand, he's been very good to me over my 16 year masturbation career. Ready.........GO!

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Too crazy for Boys Town, too much of a boy for Crazy Town.

Where are we again?

AIM: crackorn71

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your a very smart man, so i'm guessing you have allready tryed the "sit on your hand untill its numb" feeling allready,,

try gettin a pocket pussahhhhhh!

hehehe

xoxoxo mwwwwahz

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~LiPz~

aim:LikmyLipz

icq:101504929

"if g-d hates freaks so much, then why did he create them? Freaks are like gormet dishes in SoHo restaurants. Cucuembers with lemon mousse on salmon baked with chocolate. It dosen't make sence. Its inedible. But some chef keeps comming up with more and more bizarre combinations. And theres always people to eat them."


/>http://hometown.aol.com/lipzlipzlipz/LIPZ.html

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Originally posted by peeps:

you don't have access to a goat, do you?

Actually, being a Greek I do have a bunch of goats but my parents don't let me chill with them alone. I think they're on to me.....

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Too crazy for Boys Town, too much of a boy for Crazy Town.

Where are we again?

AIM: crackorn71

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Originally posted by divalicious:

I knew a guy who used a chicken cutlet.

I could lend you a hand every now and again if you'd like...Because I'm such a good friend.

Cooked or raw? I don't think your hand could be as experienced as mine........

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Too crazy for Boys Town, too much of a boy for Crazy Town.

Where are we again?

AIM: crackorn71

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just drill a hole in a watermelon heated up a lil warmer then room temp..

and skull fuk it..

::runs in circle trying to bite her own ear::

sorry i got cabin fever.....

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aim:LikmyLipz

icq:101504929

"if g-d hates freaks so much, then why did he create them? Freaks are like gormet dishes in SoHo restaurants. Cucuembers with lemon mousse on salmon baked with chocolate. It dosen't make sence. Its inedible. But some chef keeps comming up with more and more bizarre combinations. And theres always people to eat them."

lik.gif http://hometown.aol.com/lipzlipzlipz/LIPZ.html

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I tried the whole chicken last night, it was eh..... Rubber pussy, too involved. I might as well use real pussy in that case...........

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Too crazy for Boys Town, too much of a boy for Crazy Town.

Where are we again?

AIM: crackorn71

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haven't you seen Real Sex 1 - uhhhhh, what number they on now?? two fifty-four??

actually, one of 'em has a great segment on how to jerk off a guy and give him good head. . . very enlightening. . .

cwm35.gif

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women are my favorite drug. . . they're the ones that fuck you up the most!!

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Originally posted by suedenyc:

Chicken cutlets are for boys...Real men use the whole chicken! cwm30.gif

You guys have killed my mood for the day...this was better than a cold shower!

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Email-DJSuhel@aol.com

AIM - DJSuhel

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Why don't you try fucking Suzzy- Its an old group home remedy for not going out- Its like a homemade pocket pussy- you'll need some old socks-a 20oz plastic pop bottle-a piece of string and a rubber glove or maybee even a condom-1.cut the top off the bottle-2.tie the string to the bottom of the glove-3.run the string through the bottom of the bottle and then tie if off so you can't pull the glove out-4.put the socks in the bottle makeing it as tight or loose as you want it then just pull the rim of the glove over the rim of the bottle and start diggin-enjoy

PEACE cwm4.gif

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Originally posted by awkwardscience:

Why don't you try fucking Suzzy- Its an old group home remedy for not going out- Its like a homemade pocket pussy- you'll need some old socks-a 20oz plastic pop bottle-a piece of string and a rubber glove or maybee even a condom-1.cut the top off the bottle-2.tie the string to the bottom of the glove-3.run the string through the bottom of the bottle and then tie if off so you can't pull the glove out-4.put the socks in the bottle makeing it as tight or loose as you want it then just pull the rim of the glove over the rim of the bottle and start diggin-enjoy

PEACE cwm4.gif

Or you could just buy one...

Very detailed cwm13.gifcwm12.gif

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A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to it's old dimensions.

~*~*~Don't use time or words carelessly, neither can be retrieved.~*~*~

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Originally posted by awkwardscience:

Why don't you try fucking Suzzy- Its an old group home remedy for not going out- Its like a homemade pocket pussy- you'll need some old socks-a 20oz plastic pop bottle-a piece of string and a rubber glove or maybee even a condom-1.cut the top off the bottle-2.tie the string to the bottom of the glove-3.run the string through the bottom of the bottle and then tie if off so you can't pull the glove out-4.put the socks in the bottle makeing it as tight or loose as you want it then just pull the rim of the glove over the rim of the bottle and start diggin-enjoy

PEACE cwm4.gif

oh yeah,some of the old geezers in my nursing home made one of those yesterday. they only made one between four of them b/c their hands aren't what they used to be (ya know, parkinsons, arthritis....) so they have to take turns...it's getting ugly around these parts!

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jumpdei.gif Boink like a snow bunny!!!

uknj@aol.com

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