peligro Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 OK people, I've had an ongoing problem and I'd really like to get people's opinions on this...I've been in NYC for a few months now and I'm really burned out on just hooking up. I want something real, something long-term. I work in high-tech, which is totally male-dominated, so really the only place for me to meet women is the club scene. But I've had a lot of bad experiences trying to start relationships with women I meet in clubs. We go out dancing a few times, maybe have sex, but they seem really reluctant to seriously date a guy they meet at a bar/club, and the whole thing fizzles out in a few weeks. I've never managed to transition from a party friend type relationship to a serious dating thing. Its REALLY frustrating to meet someone I really like then not be able to turn it into something more serious. I'm 26 and generally date women in the 23-30 y.o. range. Anyone have advice for me? Should I give up on trying to start a relationship with someone I meet in a club? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ooana Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 I'd suggest...if you're going out with the intention to find "Miss right" you're bound to get dissapointed.People click when you least expect it. Keep your eyes and hear open and you never know what surprises will hit.I don't think its any different to meet a woman/man in a club than anywhere else. Those *matches* ain't easy :-)Granted, checking out more "singles" events if you really really want to might give you more luck. Never tried them myself but, some have told me they work :-)Good luck!-Oo------------------I am NOT a fag hag. I'm a fairy princess."When the soul wishes to experience something, she throws an image of the experience out before her, and enters into her own image." -Eckhart"I heard of a man that says words so beautiful that if he only speaks their name, women give themselves to him.If I am dumb by your body while silence blossoms like tumors on our lips it is because I hear a man climb the stairs and clear his throat outside our door." - Leonard Cohen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dabiatchka Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 Hell you could even meet someone on this board.. they have a lot of meet ups. You could meet someone long term in a club, but try other places too. It really doesn't matter you could meet her in the supper market... just be open minded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest crystalmethodny Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 Lately,I've been meeting women in clubs *gasp* that are actually giving me #'s... wow, Im not used to that.Of course, I despise the club scene when it comes to relationships and automatically think with skepticism.I think I'll just be single for eternity, it seems. I think I should move to Idaho.------------------"Can you feel it?""We're going to build things up slowly... are you with me? Here we go."CrystalMethodNYC@aol.comwww.extremegroove.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qbee Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 IDAHO? what the hell is in IDAHO?First, the problem is that you have sex with these girls you meet....can't turn a hoe into a housewife.Second, like someone else said, be open minded...you never know who or where you might meet someone...(go to some meet-ups!)(i should practice what I preach, cause I have only met one person so far..)and last but not least...give it a chance, don't expect so much so soon.Good luck! ------------------Sponge Bob Square Pants! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest crystalmethodny Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 Originally posted by qbee:IDAHO? what the hell is in IDAHO?First, the problem is that you have sex with these girls you meet....can't turn a hoe into a housewife.Second, like someone else said, be open minded...you never know who or where you might meet someone...(go to some meet-ups!)(i should practice what I preach, cause I have only met one person so far..)and last but not least...give it a chance, don't expect so much so soon.Good luck! Hehe, it was a figure of speech my dear.And I do not have sex with women I meet from clubs.Oh, and I basically started the meetups way back when Club life is a tough life, especially when you're somewhat involved in it and a decent person deep down.Hmm...There's a ton of potato farmers in Idaho ------------------"Can you feel it?""We're going to build things up slowly... are you with me? Here we go."CrystalMethodNYC@aol.comwww.extremegroove.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
opala Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 Originally posted by ooana:I'd suggest...if you're going out with the intention to find "Miss right" you're bound to get dissapointed.People click when you least expect it. Keep your eyes and hear open and you never know what surprises will hit.I don't think its any different to meet a woman/man in a club than anywhere else. Those *matches* ain't easy :-)Granted, checking out more "singles" events if you really really want to might give you more luck. Never tried them myself but, some have told me they work :-)Good luck!-OoI totally agree ooana-if you go looking and expecting...it will not come. I date people from clubs based on a good vibe that I might get off them that particular evening. If I can dig the way we dance and chat then cool-I'm down with hanging out again. But that's just it-I'm down with hanging out. I've had nothing but excellent experiences this way, every single guy that I've hooked up with outside a club has been a pleasure. If anything more has ever happened (and it has...) then all the better! A lot of people go out to clubs to pick up, I go to have a good time dancing with my friends. It's a different vibe altogether that you emit when you aren't looking to get with anyone. You will attract like minded people that way, and all the more pleasant experience. Every single guy I've ever gone out with from a club has the same attitude. So relax a bit, change your focus. Go out to have a good time with the people you are with, enjoy yourself in the company of those you came with and you'll be surprised at how many girls will find that attractive. I'm not saying that you're deperate or anything, but a girl with any brain at all can sniff out a guys intentions from a mile away...even through all the cologne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trippintrance64 Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 Going out to clubs lookin' too hook.....been there done that. Given, it has happened more since then. Now i go, and i want to be there for the music, the crowd/vibe etc.Another thing. Hooking up with a girl at a club, and meeting a girl, talking to her, and getting to know what she's about at that club....then MAYYYYYYYBE just maaybeee kissing her/hooking up are totally different. If you talk to her, and the two of you click it doesnt mean that a hook up SHOULD happen. If it doesnt, and you explain that you feel as if you've clicked with her in a certain way....and that you dont want to ruin shit by hooking up...they will have alot more respect for you, as a person, and as a guy. they will see that you are worth thier time. If not....they arent worth yours. I personally dont think that a relationship will develope with someone you meet in a club.....except of course for those accurances where you actually talk and hang out outside the clubs. For this reason (among others) i dont even bother. Not going to say that i havent met some awesome girls, b/c i have. It's just that most female clubbers are there for the same reason im there for......to party, and have a good time.....and a hookup is always possible, but never looked for. Another thing i have noticed is that alot of people in general that live the same lifestyle that we do and are single or not married or anything, feel the same way i do......IM STILL YOUNG AND WANT TO HAVE SINGLE FUN Imas stop ramblin now. laterz!-Al------------------------"Embracing the goddess energy within yourselves will bring all of you to a new understanding, and value of life. A vision, that inspires you to live, and love, on planet earth. Like a priceless jewel, buried in dark layers of soil and stone.... earth radiates her brilliant beauty into the caverns of space and time. Perhaps you are aware of those who watch over your home. And experience in this place to visit, and play with reality. You are becoming aware of yourself...as a Game master.......... AIM: fantom0680 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drfunk Posted March 5 Report Share Posted March 5 thats funny (see above), i actually met a nice girl at the super-market today and we exchanged #'s. of course now the issue is will she think im a crackhead for staying out all night etc... thats the potential problem with meeting people at random places...different lifestyles that may or may not be compatible.------------------Computer games dont affect kids. I mean if computer games affected us as kids we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching pills, and listening to repetitive music. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guinevere Posted March 5 Report Share Posted March 5 I totally understand all this. But first, and in all seriousness, avoid Idaho. I'm from Oregon, and there's no one there, trust me, that's why I'm here. Besides, all anyone there listens to is country and hard rock, no PvD or Nick Warren. Hell, they haven't even heard of Trance! And about hooking up in clubs, I'm so totally frustrated,too. Though I try to hook up with guys, as I myself am a girl.... but lately I guess I've kinda given up a bit and started to go out for the music and the dancing, not the people, and it seems to be more fun. Cher said, "Men are luxuries, not necessities," and I think it must apply to a guy's perspective, too. Also, you're a special dude, you know. All the guys I've met in a club only want sex, not a relationship, so I'm suprised to read your message. I'd be very happy to meet a guy who wanted to know me, not just what my thong looks like. Or whatever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueskygirl Posted March 5 Report Share Posted March 5 Ooana and Trippintrance got it right. Relax, do your thing, have as much fun as possible and see how it turns out... Hugs and blue skies,BSG ------------------But Mama, that's where the fun isblueskygirl@djcentral.comaolim blueskygirl2001[This message has been edited by blueskygirl (edited 03-04-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest crystalmethodny Posted March 5 Report Share Posted March 5 WellThe most important thing is to just go and have a good time, for the music and the vibe.All the rest comes second.I just don't trust those damn club women (Ok, not all... just most)Like I said... Idaho.I heard Boise has a banging scene.------------------"Can you feel it?""We're going to build things up slowly... are you with me? Here we go."CrystalMethodNYC@aol.comwww.extremegroove.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
echostar Posted March 5 Report Share Posted March 5 i met my girlfriend of a month and 2 weeks at a club------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glowball Posted March 5 Report Share Posted March 5 Yeah it seems like a drag i thought it was all about the meeting of people , but now that i woke up im feeling good now ..... ------------------ -------------------------e-mail martin_izzo@netzero.net page 1917-243-0215AIM:GLowbali <--- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boa_boy Posted March 5 Report Share Posted March 5 Originally posted by divalicious:The problem I face IF I even get to the point of exchanging numbers with a guy in a club is this... He is checking me out in my cute outfit, dancing and shaking my ass, and what is he thinking? "Mmm, I want to get at that!" I don't really think that I can meet a guy to date in a club, because i don't think that they are interested in getting to know anything about me, except how I am in the sack. I know that this is a generalization, so I will say that that applies to upwards of 90% of the guys in clubs.At least you understand it is a generalisation! Sure I've had fun times that are strictly fun, but most all of the serious relationships I've had have originated in clubs ------------------"At the peak of tremendous and victorious effort, while the blood is pounding in your head, all suddenly comes quiet within you. Everything seems clearer and whiter than ever before, as if great spotlights had been turned on. At that moment, you have the conviction that you contain all the power in the world, that you are capable of everything, that you have wings. There is no more precise moment in life than this, the WHITE MOMENT, and you will work hard for years, just to taste it again.''Yuri Vlason. -----------PM sux email is better-------> boa_boy@yahoo.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted March 5 Report Share Posted March 5 Originally posted by drfunk:of course now the issue is will she think im a crackhead for staying out all night etc... thats the potential problem with meeting people at random places...different lifestyles that may or may not be compatible.I could not agree more! I've always been wary of people i don't meet at clubs, it's like, when do I tell them about my "alternative lifestyle" and any potential illicit pleasures I might partake of?And by the way, I met my b/f of two years @ Twilo so hooking up at a party is not necessarily a bad thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueangel Posted March 5 Report Share Posted March 5 I met my wonderful fiance at a club a year and a half ago. However, when we met I didn't go out with the intention of hooking up. It was the LAST thing on my mind.When we met for the first date after that night . . . I had A LOT of doubt in my mind. You naturally have that when you meet someone at a club . . something about meeting people at a club has thing whole TABOO thing to it. But I think we were both mature and honest with one another and gave eachother the chance to know one another better. So, we kinda lucked out!I would say that you need to meet someone who is in the same level as you. You expect every girl that you meet in a club to be in the same level as you as far as in relationship mode is concerned. Just go out and have fun . . . nature has this way of working everything into place when you are ready.BlueAngel------------------“Life is like music, it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.” - Samuel Butler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peligro Posted March 6 Author Report Share Posted March 6 Hey guys, thanks for the thoughtful comments. I guess one of these days I'm gonna have to learn how to relax Doesn't come naturally to me, especially now that I live in the city. Anyway, thanks again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divalicious Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 The problem I face IF I even get to the point of exchanging numbers with a guy in a club is this... He is checking me out in my cute outfit, dancing and shaking my ass, and what is he thinking? "Mmm, I want to get at that!" I don't really think that I can meet a guy to date in a club, because i don't think that they are interested in getting to know anything about me, except how I am in the sack. I know that this is a generalization, so I will say that that applies to upwards of 90% of the guys in clubs.I find that this is unfortunate, because a guy in a club has something somewhat important in common with me, right off the bat. I love clubbing, and I'd like to date someone who is into the scene. I guess if I were to actively look for someone when I went out, I would look in a place like Twilo, because it doesn't have the "meat market" vibe. But then again, when you look, that's when you do not find. So I will be patient, and let him come to me...------------------Is it Friday yet? Peace Love Happiness y'all DivaliciousNYC@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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