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jesx81

Born or become

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I think its like which came first the chicken or the egg... it basically comes down to nature/nurture. because some people are born gay look at some gay people you know family background they have somewhere other gay people hiding on the limbs of they're family tree. however youre also a product of your environment, if you hang out gay people chances are youll be gay... so it goes both ways... IMO.

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Originally posted by dgmodel

I think its like which came first the chicken or the egg... it basically comes down to nature/nurture. because some people are born gay look at some gay people you know family background they have somewhere other gay people hiding on the limbs of they're family tree. however youre also a product of your environment, if you hang out gay people chances are youll be gay... so it goes both ways... IMO.

Going back to the chicken and the egg. Sorry but I don't see how hanging out with gay people would make you gay. Maybe someone hangs out with gay people because s/he is already gay... they just haven't admitted it to themselves yet.

As they say... denial ain't just a river in Egypt!

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Originally posted by tastyt

Going back to the chicken and the egg. Sorry but I don't see how hanging out with gay people would make you gay. Maybe someone hangs out with gay people because s/he is already gay... they just haven't admitted it to themselves yet.

As they say... denial ain't just a river in Egypt!

lol!!!

Because like I said earlier Youre a product of youre environment, if all your friends started doing coke and talked about coke all the time and it was coke this coke that guess what whether you like it or not chances are you would experiment with coke... bottom line... whether or not you become a coke head depends on wether or not you had a pleasurable experience doing it... same with the gay business... youll eventually try it out due to the hype and bam whether or not you continue the gay behaviour is dependent on if you enjoyed it...

It comes down to a question of self determination. Do you determine how you will act or not. The sexual urge is like any other, the urge to eat, sleep, fight etc... When you first see a Lobster you may think it looks yummy or its disgusting. Your gut instinct doesn't control your ultimate decision thought. In a perfect world you reason for yourself. Now we each expect that others will control certain urges and give into others. Someties you get angry and want to hit someone but we find it ureasonable for someone to say that their natural state is one of anger and attack. Your sexual preference is ultimatly thats your prefernece. If you want to have sex with womens shoes thats you perogative. But to say that you were born to be attracted to shoes would be rediculous. Sex serves two purposes 1) fun 2)procreation. If your doing what is fun for you accept it as that. Don't tell me you were born to prefer Play Statiopn over N64.

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I agree that someone with many gay friends may be more inclined to experiment. However- I also believe that if that person continues that behavior, it was something that was there to begin with.

Nurture definitely plays a role- but that's because I believe that nearly everyone is by *nature* at least a little bisexual. Like you said, 'fun' is a huuuge factor in sex- it has to be if we are to propagate the species! Because of the importance of this pleasure- it wouldn't make much sense to rule out half of the species from providing you with this pleasure.

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Originally posted by tastyt

Going back to the chicken and the egg. Sorry but I don't see how hanging out with gay people would make you gay. Maybe someone hangs out with gay people because s/he is already gay... they just haven't admitted it to themselves yet.

As they say... denial ain't just a river in Egypt!

lol....

I would say born. Most of the people that I know who are gay say that they have always known there was something different since they were little kids. Then as they grow up the see the differences between themselves and others. As long as your ar happy.........

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Ok me and my boyfriend always have these big conversations about this topic, he says that you become gay, I don't believe that at all. In my opinion I think you are born gay.

I have many gay friends and do you know how many times they have said to me, I wish i were straight. I mean, I have no problem with gay people at all, but many do, and with the world and the way people think why would you "choose" to be gay.

Your born the way ur born, your either attracted to the opposite sex or your not, bisexuality is something different, but with that I believe that if you do say that you are bisexual, you can be, but you will always have a preference.

Like I'll admit I am attracted to girls and have been with them etc., but I prefer guys.

This is just my opinion though

romy20

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"HELLO FRISCO!"

"Im SUPER....thanks for asking."

"Is that brotwurst in your pants or are you just happy to see me."

"Ive got enough lube for everyone!"

"Isnt that special?"

"Sparky...dont be gay...bad dog."

:flame:

"Know your boundries...then destroy them utterly."

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Originally posted by dgmodel

How about instead of specualting, we ask some of our friends on CP who are gay? I think they would have the best input as opposed to us just speculating?

I'm not speculating. I have/had zillions of gay friends and they all feel they were born that way. As someone else pointed out, they all knew from a very early age they were somehow "different" from the other kids.

And I can tell ya firsthand that it feels my bisexuality is something I was born with.

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i've talked to a whole bunch of gay folks about this over the years -

the concensus was:

-people who are totally gay are born that way.

-guys who are bi are either real experimental and open or haven't admitted that they are totally gay.

that sort of makes sense to me since to be "totally gay" you need to not be sexually attracted to women on a regular basis. i think that while attraction is somewhat dependant on your surroundings and environment its pretty much hard-wired for must of us. I mean think about how tough it is for people to be openly gay -even in NYC sometimes- and lots of people are and were 30 and 40 years ago.

my parents have a really good gay friend who's about 60 who told me just this and my best gal pal's dad lives with her boyfriend. he used to be married, but feels now that it was all a struggle against who he was.

anyway, not the hugest sampling, but....

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Originally posted by tastyt

Going back to the chicken and the egg. Sorry but I don't see how hanging out with gay people would make you gay. Maybe someone hangs out with gay people because s/he is already gay... they just haven't admitted it to themselves yet.

As they say... denial ain't just a river in Egypt!

Well it is true that when you are young..especially teen years, you are very impressionable.

Even though we don't want to admit it, our actions are learned from what we see. It is a possibility.

It is like sking someone who is straight...were you born straight or taught to behave in that way.

I really can't answer that questiona bout myself for sure. I know my feelings are very stong toward men, but how do I know if I was born this way or society conformed me to think this way.

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