aboyfrombklyn Posted October 24 Report Share Posted October 24 I know that I love her, and I know that I wanna be with her. She says she loves me and that she wants to be with me too. The problem is whenever I'm not with her, it's like she has something to hide. I want to believe what she says to me, I really do, but sometimes I don't. I'm beginning to feel like I'm a little controlling and I don't want that at all. The fact that she lives 120 miles away plays a big part because if she lived closer I think I would feel more secure about the relationship. She has too many friends who get into trouble or always do the wrong things, and I don't want her to be any part of that. She used to have a lot of issues in the past (drugs, alcohol, a really reckless life), but most of it changed since she met me, at least that's what she says to me. She's always telling me how I'm such a good person for her, and I do see that a little. It's just that I feel as if she's not being herself. I think that deep down inside she really wants to go back to her fucked up life sometimes. It's like she's a different person when she's with her friends, like she has a "whatever" attitude. The thing that angers me most is that she has a habit of making news out of our issues to all of her friends. I can't stand that. I don't get it. I told her numerous times that I'm not looking to have a relationship with someone who lives a reckless life. She tells me that I'm always giving her an ultimatum, but I don't look at it that way. If she wants to go ahead and do all this crazy shit, she can, but that doesn't mean I have to deal with it. You can always look at it the other way and say that she's giving me an ultimatum to deal with it. I don't even know if I could explain myself fully. It's just too hard. I don't know if anyone read my "This Is A Warning To Everyone" post, but I explained how one day I caught her hanging out with her friends getting high. I called her cell phone after not hearing from her all night and what happened next was amazing. Her phone somehow turned on and I could listen to her having a conversation with her friends. What came out her mouth amazed me. Fortunately, when a guy started flirting with her, she mentioned me and said how I was good to her (which is a good sign). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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