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Things You'd Love To Say At Work, But Can't!


phrankadelic

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1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5.I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

6.I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7.I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10.Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again..

11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

12.You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

14.I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16.Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of

view.

17.The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18.Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19.What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20.I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21.It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22.Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial,

23.And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

24.Do I look like a people person?

25.This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

27.Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28.If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29.Errors have been made, others will be blamed.

30.Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31.I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33.Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34.Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35.Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36.Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

37.How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

39. You're nothing to me now.

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I think I would like to shout out, to no one in particular - "who the fuck are you people, to take this BULLSHIT so goddamned seriously? We all know this is just stupid shit we do to bring home a paycheck, so cut the f***king pretentious anal obsessive-compulsive behavior already! Shit! Get out there and live your little f***ing lives, what, do you think this company is going to go bankrupt if you take a day off tomorrow, or heaven forbid, leave at 4PM? For fuck's sake, get your heads out of your asses!"

I'm so sick of the anal attitude toward work we have down here in S. Florida. I wonder if it's like this around the rest of the country? We're such a bunch of pretentious, hard-working-for-low-pay little shits, and I hate it. Every office I've ever been to, it's like these people LIVE for their little f***ing desk jobs pushing pencils and generating paper. My God, does anyone in this fucking town have any interests at all besides sitting their ass at a desk, acting like a total bitch who thinks her spreadsheets are the most important things in the world? For fuck's sake, go out and get a life already! And this is SO pathetic, coming from me, as I have no life - but these people.......hell, at least *I* have outside interests which is a lot more than I can say for most of them!!!!

I just felt that I had to say that. I'm so sick of bullshit, and outside of L.A. I don't know that there's a bigger bullshit town in the entire world.

Patrick "Most likely to go postal" Coral Gables High, class of '92 lol

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I think it depends on what kind of what job you have.

I do see your point about people being obsessed with their jobs. I work with these people everyday. However, I am 28 yrs. old and the average age of the people I work with is probably 40, have kids, married, picket fence, etc. So, of course, they are going to act like that.

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Originally posted by djfrosty

I do see your point about people being obsessed with their jobs. I work with these people everyday. However, I am 28 yrs. old and the average age of the people I work with is probably 40, have kids, married, picket fence, etc. So, of course, they are going to act like that.

I just don't see how they can obsess over such ultimately meaningless, pleasure-less stuff. Bunch of little cubicle lords. I just want to make my money and get the hell home as soon as possible. Yeah I have pride in my work and I'll give a honest effort for my pay, but I'm not going to break my back or live my life for that crap. If I'm ever married (which seems highly unlikely at this point), if I start acting like that, someone please feel free to go ahead and shoot me. :blown:

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