wildangel Posted January 26 Report Share Posted January 26 I was just wondering what is generally appropriate when it comes to sleeping with a friend? As in sleeping - JUST sleeping. I have a number of male friends who I consider just friends, but I don't want to send them wrong/mixed messages. I am a very affectionate person and I love cuddling, and have no problem cozying up with a male or female friend to fall asleep with. I realized this may be a problem when just recently one of my closest male friends slept behind me in kind of the spoon position, with one arm over my waist. I thought everything was cool, but it was awkward because at one point during the night, I awoke to him kissing my neck. When I stirred, he whispered he was sorry for putting me into that position and stopped. We didn't talk about it, but I was wondering if I did anything wrong?So generally, what is appropriate and not appropriate? Which sleeping positions are okay with someone who is just a friend, and which aren't? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonStephen Posted January 26 Report Share Posted January 26 This is a very delicate situation for guys. I have been put in this position before and I'm telling you, if I find you attractive.......then there is always that sexual attraction.This is how it happened with me once........the girl, a close friend of mine, told me that there would be no hooking up involved and if I wanted to do so, then we couldn't sleep together. I respected that and we slept together.....nothing ever happened. She is still a very good friend of mine.I think the best way is just to lay it on the line and tell him what is up before anything happens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klohe Posted January 26 Report Share Posted January 26 no spooning!!! dicks tend to get hard that way.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
synderella420 Posted January 26 Report Share Posted January 26 For me to lay down in a bed with one of my guy friends, is stepping over the boundary. You may look at it as only cuddling and wanting someone to keep you warm or just be affectionate with, but basically every guy (not all) is looking at it in a sexual way.If you find a guy who is not looking at it in a sexual way he is just an extreme sweetheart and those are the guy friends for keeps!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted January 26 Report Share Posted January 26 solution: just dont sleep with guys in a bed if you dont want anything to happen. its like dont take your kid or you lil bro/sis to toys r us with out expecting to buy them something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonStephen Posted January 26 Report Share Posted January 26 Originally posted by synderella420 For me to lay down in a bed with one of my guy friends, is stepping over the boundary. You may look at it as only cuddling and wanting someone to keep you warm or just be affectionate with, but basically every guy (not all) is looking at it in a sexual way.If you find a guy who is not looking at it in a sexual way he is just an extreme sweetheart and those are the guy friends for keeps!! You got it wrong............they are gay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
synderella420 Posted January 26 Report Share Posted January 26 Lol yeah tru....But there are some guys out there who really like to maintain their friendships with girls and not fuck it up, but prob only 10 percent of the male population! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonStephen Posted January 26 Report Share Posted January 26 Originally posted by synderella420 Lol yeah tru....But there are some guys out there who really like to maintain their friendships with girls and not fuck it up, but prob only 10 percent of the male population! I couldn't agree with you more, some of my best friends are females who I never hooked up with.....they were the circle of friends types and now I have known them for so long and grew up with them, I could never hook up with them. I think it is one of the best things for me, I talk about regular shit like I talk about with my boys and they give me their viewpoints and vice versa. Its awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
synderella420 Posted January 26 Report Share Posted January 26 Yeah I really think that is the best to be able to have friends of the opposite sex, and get their viewpoints on certain things.I have guy friends but one who is really really close to my heart and I would never do anything to fuck it up, he is really a true treasure to me. He is closer to me than any of my girlfriends.. and I would never ruin it or give it up for anyone or anything in the world...He is always there when I need him always a solid ground for me to stand up on when I am down...Okay let me stop getting all sentimental and shit lol... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted January 28 Report Share Posted January 28 I've spent many nights sharing a bed w/a guy I was only friends with- however, there was no cuddling, and, even worse, absolutely no spooning! It's funny, I've shared twin beds with guys, and it was almost as if there was an invisible wall between us because there were no body parts touching at any time during the night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djmoonshine Posted January 28 Report Share Posted January 28 Originally posted by dgmodel solution: just dont sleep with guys in a bed if you dont want anything to happen. its like dont take your kid or you lil bro/sis to toys r us with out expecting to buy them something. :grin: i just wanted to say i appreciated the toys r us analogy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nrgy112 Posted January 28 Report Share Posted January 28 I've never seen anything wrong with sleeping with a female friend, and it's interesting that you brought this topic up, because for about half of my last semester in college, I slept every night with one of my best female friends, cause believe it or not, she truly thought her bedroom was haunted. Granted this was one of my ex-girlfriends, but at one point after we broke up, we decided not to hook up anymore, and that was over 2 years ago, but we still do cuddle but just as friends, I know I'm not getting any from her so I don't even try anymore and the funny thing is she still tried to tease me, just to annoy me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deanna11 Posted January 28 Report Share Posted January 28 having a tiny dorm bed and no other furniture, i have had a few of my good guy friends crash in my bed with me so they wouldn't have to go home or sleep on the floorwe know everything is cool and platonic, so it's never been a problem. if you don't know the guy well enough that he knows there will be nothing sexual, you should tell himsometimes the sleeping together thing is just logical, as opposed to sending him to drive home drunk at 8 am or something Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted January 28 Report Share Posted January 28 Originally posted by djmoonshine :grin: i just wanted to say i appreciated the toys r us analogy... Is that sarcastic or genuine statement? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misk Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 I LOVE TO CUDDLE!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Depends on the friend. I'd have no problem sleeping with one friend, but I know others would grope me and say that they were sleeping while they did it... Basically, depends on how much of a horny bastard your friend is... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randall16 Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 in my experience i love to cuddle too, but there is this one friend that i cant cuddle with because every time that we do try to cuddle it ends up in more than just cuddling not saying that i have a problem with that, but i think you have to be prepared for everything and anything... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
echostar Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 i dont think ive ever slept with a girl without hooking up.....i guess its possible though, ive just never been in that position Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 I think it depends on the relationship you have with the friend. I have guy friends who I have sleep in a bed with or on a couch for that matter where nada has happened.I don't thinkyou did anything wrong, so don't sweat it:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teknojunkee Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 I actually have this one freind (when she is home from college) that i sleep with everynight. We layed it all out on the table first that there is to be no kissing, groping etc...Actually, im the one that has caught her kissing my neck once. We both respect each other as really good freinds. We are actually total opposites. (her being aggressive and me being shy) I think as long as you understand "why" you are sleeping together it is totally ok. Damn...now i miss her. Cant wait til may 4th. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barvybe Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 i've slept with female friends many many times, in big beds, little ones, on couches, floors, sleeping bags, tents, etc. pretty much i'm a cuddler, so if your in bed with me expect body contact. Its not that there isn't some physical attraction (some of these girls are damn cute), but maybe cause its something i've been doing since i used to crash places a lot in highschool, i can get past that. I wouldn't do that with a girl i really wanted to get with who had told me that it was just gonna be a friends thing, not unless i was really over it. no reason to torment myself that way. if i gotta sleep all scrunched up against the wall, i'd rather sleep on the floor...nothing makes me more uncomforatable in bed then the thought that the girl in it isn't cool with me being there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addaboy1 Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by klohe no spooning!!! dicks tend to get hard that way.... ROFLMAO!!! Well said!It all depends on the friend. I sleep with my girl friends all the time. Have a shore house with many of them and just a part of it. Always fall asleep with them...plus they sweat my cotton t-shirt sheets! lol If you know he's someone that you flirt with, etc. then I might avoid the issue, but even good friends can fill that need to be cuddled void. Just don't end up like Joey and Rachel on Friends...keep it in check!addaboy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeg Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 I know theres a Jack Tripper refference to be made here somewhere... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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