it was night, on new year's day. there had just been so much drama about this new year's day night party, resentment building up between all of us friends; i just thought i needed to sit out a bit and i'd be ok. i told my friends i'd be sitting against the wall of the club, and i left the dancefloor. but i found myself not really hearing the music anymore - just overwhelmed by being upset about the night's events and what they meant in the greater scheme of things. and i started to cry. after a little bit, the only one who came out with us who i didn't really know (i'd only met him once) came over to me and asked if i was ok. i didn't want him to see i was crying, so i sort of looked away and tried to give him quick "yes"es. he at least noticed i was down, though, and he said, "did you get your new year's kiss?" "no," i said. and i thought it'd just be one to comfort me, or to be nice. but it seemed like he was going for more than just the simple kiss with which i kissed back. everything sexual/romantic is really important to me; i don't take or do anything lightly. i didn't really wanna kiss him 'cause i wasn't so incredibly attracted to him. but he's a really genuine, nice guy, and i like that about him very much. and i just got all confused ... was i rethinking him because he's such a cool guy? or was it because i knew he'd be a good kisser and he had the softest-lips-omigod ? or was it because i hadn't kissed someone in a while and it just felt so good to be kissed? and should i be rethinking it at all; if it's not automatically clear to me, does that mean that i shouldn't pursue it or that it wouldn't be fair to start something i might not wanna finish (i'm not sure about him, obviously)? i'm going to see deep dish on friday with some friends, including him. i dunno if i'm "freaked out," exactly, but definitely lost . does anyone have any thoughts?