when i was a kid i used to say that, if i were to commit suicide, i'd take a shitload of pills, and slit my wrists in a bathtub teetering on a rooftop. i wasn't kidding, and my mom didn't think it was funny, either. people think i'm a really cheery, incredibly happy-go-lucky person, and it always blows my mind that they perceive me that way, when my worldview really is quite depressing and depressed. i've got a couple of quick things that get me by, one of them just being to say, "anyway..." like right now - that's the best thing i can come up with.