1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. Women marry men thinking they will change, but they never do. Men marry women thinking they will never change, but they always do. 2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. Thats right, shut the door cause we obviously didnt give a shit enough to close the door... this statement is not funny at all. 3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there. If you did this the species would definetly die... besides the fun loving, beer drinking, sports watching women in the world will just follow us up there, and you would be stuck here with youre plastic penises and i-rabbits. CHEEERS! 4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone. A man's mind is only wandering when you begin to recite your life story err i mean the events of your day. 5. Go for the younger man. You might as well - they never mature anyway. thats right, but at least we age better then women (its a fact) 6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart. Women are all the same - they just wear different clothes because they are afraid someone else will be wearing the same outfit as them. 7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable. Definition of a bachelorette: a woman who nagged the shit out of her last boyfriend and he ran off with her less annoying friend. 8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types. Men are the do-it-yourself type... next time you need to open a jar, kill a bug, or rearrange furniture take a chapter out of a mans book and do it your fucking self 9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it. Best way to get a woman to do something is to tell her your ex-girlfriend used to do it 10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-open er. Which is why divorce rate is up above 50%... it takes two to tango princess. 11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital. Because thats where women put them. 12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. *Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions. Im not gonna touch this one because it was jewish new year yesterday and i have more respect then to make light of the hardships of my people. 13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks. Response: perfect i hate paying anyway, dinners on you right? 14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his. funny... 15. Sadly, all men are created equal. even worse, so are all women
