liqidtouch

ok so where is the "LOCATION" of the lake and your town?

well kids- the dj is up late too should we keep this thread in motion for use night crawlers? i wont be asleep til about 4am and its not 12:40 can u believe i have x-treme dating on behinde me

1st off BRIAN does not lie and angelicious is troubel in a little package but im a big package in a litle trouble DJ LIQID TOUCH if u need anything DJ LIQID TOUCH- the saviour- the saint- the LMIB

1st off BRIAN does not lie and angelicious is troubel in a little package but im a big package in a litle trouble DJ LIQID TOUCH if u need anything

actually hunnie (*) i understand 5 languages HEH HEH i am the TRUE dj / male diva/ producer/ talent scout / dancer / and 10 time emmey winner for the REAL MAN AWARD- and my middle name means saviour in spanish but i am not hispanic languages include american spanish italian japaneese and another that i do not reveal outside of being face to face i love you? do u love me too?

i was saying that- cause my names eric too ha ha

:laugh: :laugh:

sure does....

YO CHICO!!!!! tell these VATO' LOCO's day gosta CHILL PAPA

well im just doing this fromm memory cause i know I HAVENT been getting any

can someone fill up my box? oops- im in the wrong life span here- sorry- i digress

OH BOY!!! im feelin kinsa horny!@#! where do i get these horns??

1st off Donkey i have to say u spelled my name wrong it Dj LIQID TOUCH not liquid and as for ~~~~~~~> LOL bro im laughin so freakin hard !! this is too funny

this works on both men and women when someone asks what u want in return fora favor tell them u want them to have these 3 things- you will need one of thier hands their tongue and their mouth Mouth to smile tongue to say thanks hand to shake just tell them i need your mouth tongoue and one hand see what they say

i remember back in the day of the most extravigant home computer called the COMODORE 64 <<--- remember that? it was the hottest thing to hit homes- i remember actaully WRITING in ALL the text and strings that make a program- doing that a few 100 times i began to actually understand what it all really ment and what you can change to make the programs work the way u want them too- all that B4 any kind oftraining

hey jersygrl as u know- what keeps alot of CP threads interesting and make ppl come back for more is the fact that some of us DONT know where the info derives from- so keep looking around the boards for other posts that i left- *hint threads STARTED by D J LIQID TOUCH or LIQIDTOUCH i mean i cant just give away ALL my leads *wink have fun

anytime sweety nice to see that ppl actually read it- glad u liked it look on the boards for my " the new MAYBE thread"

i like that barbie. now what can you come up with off the top of our head? go ahead- open your mind - better yet- DONT think about the context of what you want to write / type- just let it flowwwwwwwwwwww ((((((****POOF****))))) Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you squeal because it takes only a good squeal to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart squeal like a pig in heat.

rdntheshortbus? not at all bro- i understand heres a new one:: LOL all you want It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone who made you bark like a sex poodle and you enjoyed it!

sorry bro yea i re read that and yep it was kinda harsh- guess i got carried away - u know- issues...........

Maybe the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, sniff glue with, and never say a word, and then later, stumble away saying things like, "I'm a hamster coo coo ca choo", and you both feel like it was one of the best conversations you've ever had

Maybe it is true that we don't know what we have got until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives. Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back, but going down on them is. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but if it does not, be content it grew in yours.

i want everyone to put in thoughts that indulge both in laughter - sexual nature- and just emotions in here- i will be putting in a few as an example. hopefully you will all get the idea- and submit yours as well--- PEACE

Sexual Positions Man on top, woman on bottom (facing each other)..........20 calories Woman on top, man on bottom.........................................25 calories Many women find that in addition to its inherent sexual possibilities, this position affords a better view of the clock. From the rear (Mysterious variation)..............................40 1/2 calories Standing Both partners of equal height......................................18 calories Woman 1 foot taller than a man..................................90 calories The man will have to make several rigorous leaps into the air in order to achieve even minimal satisfaction While in traction.............................................................124 calories (very useful during ski season) Location, Location, Location On a bar stool....................20 calories Rear of a Honda Civic......38 calories In a phone booth Standing.......................14 calories lying down...................274 calories On an airliner Aisle seat....................24 calories Middle seat.................42 calories Window seat...............30 calories In the lavatory.............100 calories Finding your clothes....................5 calories Possible Side Effects of Intercourse Bouncing........................7 calories Sliding around................9 calories Serious Skidding............12 calories Full cartwheel................20 calories Whiplash........................27 calories Knee burn.......................6 calories Chafed elbows...............5 calories Chafed nose...................11 calories Sex Related Noises Short gasps (per gasp).....................................3 calories Wheezing.........................................................5 calories Squeals............................................................4 calories Ecstatic moaning..............................................11 calories Low growling..................................................8 calories Squishing.........................................................10 calories Shouting...........................................................16 calories Screaming........................................................18 calories Urgent begging.................................................22 calories Any short speech giving partner directions......25 calories Satisfying Partner (organ size) Most experts agree that size means nothing. Shape is what counts, and the man with a Shaped organ can write his own ticket. In those rare instances where a man has a genuinely small member, he may have to compensate by working slightly harder, but this is good for weight loss. A man with a really large organ, while he might not have to work as hard once inside, may exhaust himself just trying to convince his partner to let him put it inside. Normal size............22 calories Oversize.................15 calories Tremendous............8 calories Teensy-weensy.......163 calories Approaching Orgasm Letting go..........................................................5 1/2 calories Controlling yourself.........................................79 calories Digging nails in your partners back back.........11 calories Trembling........................................................15 calories Shaking............................................................20 calories Shuddering......................................................25 calories Trying to keep eyes open................................33 calories Orgasm Real............27 calories Faked.........160 calories Orgasmic Intensity Scale Expression didn't change...............1/2 calorie Face turned purple........................15 calories Orchestra swelled.........................6 calories Magical explosions.......................10 calories Blazing Sheets...............................25 calories Earth moved..................................30 calories Vesuvius erupted...........................47 calories You began moaning in Latin..........60 calories Pulling Out After orgasm...................................1/4 calorie A few moments before orgasm.......500 calories Multiple Orgasms For woman 2......14 calories 5......30 calories 8......47 calories Depending on greed her rate of recovery a woman can enjoy around 8 orgasms within an hour period without losing consciousness or disarranging her hair. As the number increases, however, she may begin to experience a form of "reduced sanity" that will temporarily interfere with her ability to cook, worship and ride a Moped. For Men 2......21 calories 3......39 calories 4......57 calories For a man, its a different situation, perhaps due to physiological and biological reasons. Many men can enjoy up to 4 orgasms in an hour with little discomfort except for the slight ringing in the ears. With few exceptions, however, a man who tries to achieve more than 10 orgasms within that same period is flirting with irreversible brain damage. Special Orgasms Clitoral...............15 calories Vaginal...............21 calories Penile.................21 calories Scrotile..............15 calories Rectal................25 calories Oral...................30 calories Premature Ejaculation During insertion.............................2 calories During intercourse.........................5 calories approx.. 2 sec's or 3 thrusts after insertion, which ever comes first During foreplay.............................3 calories Immature ejaculation.....................4 calories similar to premature ejaculation except male acts childish and throws a tantrum Consequences of Premature Ejaculation Even if you have a good heart, it takes much understanding not to feel like a victim when your partner climaxes after 3 sec's of intensive sex, especially if he immediately sits up to watch the footy on the tv. For Woman Frustration..........................................8 calories Anger.................................................15 calories Violent mood swing...........................20 calories Suppressing rage................................25 calories Not suppressing anger........................65 calories in extreme cases, this can include cursing, nose tweaks, and gently massaging partner's head with a tire iron. For Men Cursing..............................................10 calories Apologizing.......................................3 calories Sniveling..........................................5 calories Pleading for mercy............................8 calories Begging for another chance...............15 calories Recovering Un-entwining............................................3 calories Regaining motor control of pelvis.............7 calories After especially tiring sex, you may feel numb from below the waist to the opposite wall. The result will be an inability to walk ( put one foot in front of the other), which will seriously impair your chances of going to the bathroom or getting a juice. Standing up...............................................9 calories Getting some juice....................................11 calories Trying Again If the woman is ready...........5 calories If the man is not....................156 calories Dreaming Regular dream.................2 calories Wet Dream......................16 calories Add 5 calories if it occurs while in bed with your partner; Add 20 calories if your partner notices Wet Trance......................20 calories Usually occurs in the presence of a sensual hypnotist Masturbation For pleasure only...................................6 calories For exercise, too....................................10 calories For relief from tension...........................12 calories To pass the time.....................................7 calories To avoid overeating...............................16 calories To get in touch with inner self...............10 calories To get in touch with outer self..............10 1/4 calories To avoid insanity..................................24 calories To avoid spending money on a date......9 calories In addition to being a viable alternative to television, shopping and binge's, masturbation is a quick and inexpensive way to get warm. Using Your hand(s): Regular way......................................11 calories Your finger(s)...................................9 calories Tweezers..............................................2 calories An inflatable doll.................................24 calories Any fruit or vegetable..........................19 calories except watermelon or a sprig of parsley A vibrator: Hand-operated.................................12 calories Windup............................................9 calories Electric............................................5 calories Anything not mentioned here.................50 calories In a pornographic movie theater Purchasing the ticket.........................2 1/2 calories Finding isolated seat.........................78 calories Adjusting raincoat.............................3 calories Typical Sex-Related Fears Partner hates me for what I did............................4 calories Partner hates me for what I didnt do....................8 calories Forgetting the instructions in the sex manual.......10 calories Climaxing too soon.............................................5 calories Climaxing too late...............................................6 calories Not climaxing......................................................20 calories Partner thinks of me as a sex object.....................9 calories Partner doesn't think of me as a sex object...........47 calories Partner will neglect to administer last rites should I not recover from orgasm......................88 calories Personal Fears Gigantic cellulite that shake and ripple during orgasm....6 calories Stretch marks that look like a plowed field........................8 calories Penis envy.........................................................................72 calories Body odor of a disgruntled yak..........................................25 calories Getting Caught By partner's spouse.........60 calories By your spouse................60 1/2 calories Trying to explain.............165 calories Stuttering.........................28 calories Throwing-up...................40 calories Calorie counts here are flexible, depending on type of spouse-whether understanding and open-minded, or narrow-minded and armed Almost Getting Caught Trying to remain calm...........................100 calories Fright (includes trembling)...................66 calories Leaping out of bed................................25 calories Getting dressed in one large motion.....300 calories Thanking partner quickly......................2 calories Jumping out of window........................15 calories add 5 calories if window wasn't open Landing................................................1 calorie Running very fast.................................50 calories

BEER VS. VAGINA A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement. Advantage: Beer. A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot. Advantage: Pussy. Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton. Advantage: Beer. Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not. Advantage: Draw. If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted. Advantage: Pussy 24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in. Advantage: Pussy. Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer. Advantage: Pussy. If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible. Advantage: Beer. If you come home smelling like beer, The Woman may get mad. If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad. Advantage: Beer. 6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need. Advantage: Pussy Buy too much beer and you will get fat. Buy too much pussy and you will get poor. Advantage: Draw It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game. You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game. Advantage: Pussy If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer. If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five. Advantage: Pussy With beer, bigger is better. Advantage: beer. Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable. Advantage: beer. Pussy can make you see God. Beer can make you see the porcelain God. Advantage: Pussy If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal. If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic. Advantage: Pussy Peeling labels off of beers is fun. Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun. Advantage: Pussy. If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment. Advantage: Draw If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break. If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are. Advantage: Beer. If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back. Advantage: beer. The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it. Advantage: Beer. Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill. Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright. Advantage: Draw Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, Killian's Red Good pussy: Almost all but the above. Advantage: Pussy. The government taxes beer. Advantage: Pussy. It's a close call, but the numbers never lie. Advantage: Pussy.