Actually I called the interstellar zoning board and found out that only YOUR house is going to go through the "mega" earthchange. Basically they're tearing it down to make a freeway onramp, so you're SOL pal.
Did I ever say I was goth? Did I ever say I worshiped ixion lord of the dark staff, or whatever it is you freako's do? No, I did not. Now, what I suggest you do is get back to sucking all that horse cock that you're so famous for.
That kid is fucking DOOMED. If he's sporting that many rolls now, just think of the displacement he's going to claim when he's thirty. They're gonna need a flatbed 18 wheeler just to move him to the bathroom. Ladies and gentlemen, the next sumo world champion.