emjay

it's supposed to be classics night...should be good.

shirt lifter...weak name.

yup...it's such a good comparison...i couldn't have come up w/a better one myself.

Friends don't let friends take home ugly men. -- Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" It's "Hi, how are you?" -- Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit. -- Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, N. Carolina A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it. -- Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Texas Express Lane: Five beers or less. -- Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's You're too good for him. -- Sign over mirror Women's room, Ed Debevics No wonder you always go home alone. -- Sign over mirror in Men's room, Ed Debevic's The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open. -- Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL If you voted for Bush in the last election, you can't take a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington. -- Men's room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington Beauty is only a light switch away. -- Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives. -- Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C. Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die. -- Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands. -- Men's restroom, Lynagh's

> A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom I've got a > problem." She says "Tell me." He tells her that the boys at school are > using 2 words he doesn't understand. She asks him what they are. > > He says "well, pussy and bitch". > > She says "Oh that's no big deal, pussy is a cat like our little Mittens, > and bitch is a female dog like our Sandy." > > He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop in the basement. He > says to his dad, "Dad the boys at school are using words I don't know, > and I asked mom and I don't think she told me the exact meaning. > > Dad says "Son, I told you never to go to mom with these matters, she > can't handle them. What are the words?" > > He tells him...pussy and bitch. > > Dad says "OK" and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf, takes a marker > and circles the pubic area of the centerfold and says, "Son, everything > inside this circle, is pussy." > > "OK dad, so what's a bitch?" > > "Son" he says, "everything outside that circle."

you dilate during labor.

fuck the period... i wish they would have to push something the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a lemon.

i hate taking any train but i especially hate the 7 during the summer.

i luv cheese

Tiesto - Traffic

Pete Tong - Essential Mix

i've always been curious to go to one but none of my friends will go w/me.

i had seen it before and yet i fell for it again.

i think it's "te corto" (sp)

Airplane "You'd better tell the captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital." "A hospital? What is it?" "It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now."

turtle?

that movie with madonna (can't think of the name) where she has sex with her lawyer on the hood of a car with shattered glass all over it.

siegfried and roy would scratch penn and teller's eyes out!

me too

i'm with you on this one...arnold's good at blowing shit up sylvester's definitely the better fighter.

vs.

lmao! new kids on the block would kick n'sync's ass.