790128 Posted June 25 Report Share Posted June 25 My dilemma is whether or not to date a single mom. I meet a girl at a club three week ago…went out 3 time…had a blast everytime…after the third date she drop a bomb on me…told me that she has a 3 year old kid…(she’s 20 and I’m 23)… Don’t know whether to continue on dating her or end it. NEED HELP!!the father is deceased...she is attending college full time while working part time...living with her sisterHaven’t spoken to her since she told me and that was a couple of days ago…planning to ask her out again and ask her what exactly her intentions are right now…whether it is to just date or looking for a fatherly figure for her daughter…don’t know must about the father of the child but that is something I will be asking…do know that the father’s parent want nothing to do with the child Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeg Posted June 25 Report Share Posted June 25 is this jon's other sn??? ( )umm... if you like her, and things are good... then stay with it...If the kid becomes a problem, or makes you uncomfortable... then stop... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
£ddie Posted June 25 Report Share Posted June 25 I would do it and have done it. As long as she's mature and has her head screwed on straight, I don't see any problem with it. Don't automatically assume she's looking for a "substitute father". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjr203 Posted June 25 Report Share Posted June 25 Originally posted by £ddie I would do it and have done it. As long as she's mature and has her head screwed on straight, I don't see any problem with it. Don't automatically assume she's looking for a "substitute father". I hope to god she's mature what with having a kid at that young age Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
£ddie Posted June 25 Report Share Posted June 25 Originally posted by mjr203 I hope to god she's mature what with having a kid at that young age That's the million dollar question. If someone has a child at 17 you may assume immaturity, but I necessarily wouldn't. Shit happens. She's also 20, which is another factor to consider. The woman I saw with a child was 24, had a 2 year old, had her own place and was employed. Not likely this girl we're talking about now falls into that category, but who knows. If the guy isn't looking to get married at his young age, I don't see why it would be a big deal. The only thing that would concern me if the father of the child was a prick still in the girl's life and was going to make this guy's life miserable. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeg Posted June 25 Report Share Posted June 25 Originally posted by mjr203 I hope to god she's mature what with having a kid at that young age agreed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted June 25 Report Share Posted June 25 . . . Just because she has a kid, doesn't mean you necessarily need to drop her like that . . . . . . Here's the dilly: If you have a blast going out with her, that's a good sign, but more importantly, you need to understand that her kid IS (or at least SHOULD BE) the central part of her life . . Once you're a parent, really most things in life come second to your children, or you're not doing your job . If she's level headed, knows where to draw the line between partying and responsibility, then I see no reason for you to discontinue seeing her . . . One thing you have to be prepared to do though, is understand that the child IS more important than many needs you may have . . .If You're prepared to stand up and be a man with that . . .then you're golden . . If not, then I don't suggest you mislead her and carry on a thing with no commitment . . . . . . Then again, she may be just looking for some fun . . either way, keep your eyes and your heart open so you understand the situation perfectly . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoke Posted June 25 Report Share Posted June 25 I agree with what people have said already. MIKE: Excellent advice... the kid should ABSOLUTELY be her number one priority, and nobody should kid themselves otherwise. <nod> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
£ddie Posted June 25 Report Share Posted June 25 Originally posted by phuturephunk One thing you have to be prepared to do though, is understand that the child IS more important than many needs you may have. Very true. Be prepared to play second fiddle. If you can't deal with that or understand that, don't bother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quoth Posted June 25 Report Share Posted June 25 Originally posted by joeg is this jon's other sn??? ( ) :laugh: :laugh: i was thinkin the same fuckin thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I bet it is hahahaha cause if you remember like 3 weeks to a month ago he posted some similar shit in which he left a pic in someones car LOL....we still love ya jonny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr0ne Posted June 25 Report Share Posted June 25 shit man i thought i was the only unlucky one here....out of the last 10 girls i went out with like 5 had kids (90% of the girls i go out with are older than me...sometimes MUCH older ). It's hard to say exactly what she's up to.....some are looking for daddy others just wanna fuck a younger guy for a while, in your case, since she's young and the father passed away (ie: she didn't dump or get dumped) than my guess is that she might be looking for a little something....its not like she had problems w/ the guy and now just wants to casually fuck men know what im saying? i dunno i'd stay away but that's just me....unless you're looking for some serious fucking responsibility....something i'm totally not about for the foreseeable future Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laraver Posted June 25 Report Share Posted June 25 I say date a couple, not just one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted June 25 Report Share Posted June 25 Originally posted by dr0ne in your case, since she's young and the father passed away (ie: she didn't dump or get dumped) than my guess is that she might be looking for a little something....its not like she had problems w/ the guy and now just wants to casually fuck men know what im saying? i dunno i'd stay away but that's just me....unless you're looking for some serious fucking responsibility....something i'm totally not about for the foreseeable future That's a big assumption you're making... he never said whether or not they were still a couple when the father passed away...Anyway, I agree with Eddie...As long as she's mature and has her head screwed on straight, I don't see any problem with it. Don't automatically assume she's looking for a "substitute father". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr0ne Posted June 25 Report Share Posted June 25 Originally posted by tastyt That's a big assumption you're making... he never said whether or not they were still a couple when the father passed away...Anyway, I agree with Eddie... yeah that was an assumption i had to make......maybe he can clarify that if he knows.either way i don't care if she's mature or not i'd stay away no matter what UNLESS you're the kind of guy who feels responsible enough to have a serious relationship (if shes looking for that) with a mom. I sure ain't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crackorn Posted June 25 Report Share Posted June 25 I say if you like her, keep chillin with her. If she's looking for a substitute dad, you'll find out soon enough. She may be used to guys getting freaked out because she has a kid. If you drop her just for that reason, you may be missing out on a really great gal! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barvybe Posted June 25 Report Share Posted June 25 i would just add that you should also figure out what you want. assuming that for now all you want is to hang out with her then i would be careful about any contact with the boy. i'm sure she's careful about that sort of thing, but its not good for kids to see men with their mom's on a casual basis IMO. i'd ask her to keep stuff separate unless / until you decide that its something you're gonna stick with for a while. not saying you need to be thinking down the line, just that you shouldn't get involved with the kid at all unless you plan on sticking around for a few months at least. and of course you need to be careful about being affectionate with her in front of the little one.i say stick with it if you really like her. don't if its really just a passing fling for you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxelicous Posted June 25 Report Share Posted June 25 YO....IF SHE'S HOT AND U ENJOY CHILLING WITH HER DON'T LET THAT STOP U Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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