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gfofaguy

Why doesn't he want sex?

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I have been with my bf for 4 years. Lately it seems that I always initiate sex (or oral or whatever we do). When I ask him about it he says it's easy for me to get him excited so it shouldn't matter who initiates it. It seems that we always go 5 days or so in between. Even if I try to initiate it more. Why???? Is he just used to me. He's only 21. I'm 19. It sucks that he already acts like we're 40. Any thoughts???? What can I do to change this????Thanks.

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i can't say that your replies make me feel any better, but I agree. That's why I posted!!! I always worry about things, so he'll just blow it off if I ask him about it. Any ideas about what I can do? He says he still wants to be with me forever and he's very sincere and into it when we do have sex. I don't know what to think. Keep replying!!!

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Originally posted by gfofaguy

i can't say that your replies make me feel any better, but I agree. That's why I posted!!! I always worry about things, so he'll just blow it off if I ask him about it. Any ideas about what I can do? He says he still wants to be with me forever and he's very sincere and into it when we do have sex. I don't know what to think. Keep replying!!!

It doesn't sound like he's being sincere to me if he is "blowing you off" like you say.

Leave the ungrateful bastard and hook up with someone that will fuck you like you deserve.....

I can't believe the dumbass is passing up good 19 year old pussy! :rolleyes:

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A few questions:

what is his astrological sign?

Did he have a lot of sex with other people before you two hooked up?

Did you have a lot of sex when you first hooked up?

Have you tried experimenting with different positions, rooms, places, foods, etc?

Is he doing a lot of drugs or drinking alot?

Smoking cigs or weed?

Has his diet changed or does he eat his fruits and vegetables?

Does he excercise?

All of these things can have an impact on one's sexual desire. I will tell you this without getting the answers ... whether it's one of the aforementioned possible causes or not, if you're not being satisfied sexually, that is a BIG DEAL. If you feel like he legitimately just has a lower sex drive than you, you both need to make like good partners and negotiate. You want more, he doesn't, so you find a middle ground where you'll both be happy.

At least you get it when you instigate it... I know that you probably feel undesired, etc. because he doesn't instigate it ... you need to let him know that THAT is the result when you don't get any attention, and that as a human being, you have a natural need to feel desired, at least occasionally.

Do you ever wait and say "no" to him when he finally initiates? Sometimes being too "easy" can be a turnoff too, especially after being together for a while.

Answer me some questions and I'll tell you more, but if you really think he's being honest, it is either something that you can work out, or there is some serious psychological mind fucking going on here.

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Originally posted by djjonmartin

what is his astrological sign?

.....

All of these things can have an impact on one's sexual desire.

LMAO... i´m an aries! what does that say about my sex drive? pleaaaasseee i wanna know! :laugh::rolleyes:

but seriously, girl, either the guy is jerking off too much or he´s getting it elsewhere OR he has a medical problem (hormon related, yet not very likely). believe me a guy with a normal sex drive INITIATES SEX :)! we can´t get enough of it if we haven´t just come from a fuckfest with our other girlfriend or just jerked off 4 times to lesbian porn.

a question: what about his duration? does he last longer than usual lately? cause if he is, that is a good sign for the jerkoff/cheating theory.

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I agree with DJ Jon Martin that it could be an array of reasons for his non-actions in the sexual field.

I would not conclude automatically that he is getting sex somewhere else, or that he's been doing drugs. Some people genuinly don't want to have sex or be sexual. It's just how they are.

I was involved with a girl for sometime who, in the beginning things were fine, but after some time, she started going to church, and believing that it's best to wait for sex.

You can't always understand people's motives. I would say in your case, gfofaguy, that you can either: A) make the sex life more interesting by bringing "sexual aids" such as whipped cream, wine, etc... to the scene, B) get more into the foreplay, teasing and tickling and sucking in places u normally wouldn't think about, or C) confront him and ask why does he seem non-interested-

:)

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i dont know but i think if he didnt want you he would say no when you initiate sex so...

at least you know you do turn him on and it's not that he doesn't want you.

maybe hes just bored & you should try new things. maybe he likes you to initiate because it makes him feel wanted & that turns him on.

i wouldn't worry, i think it's nice to be the initiator but i guess i can see how after a while you start to wonder why youre ALWAYS initiating things.

sometimes its annoying when someone else is always initiating though, you never get to really want the other person because they are too busy trying to make something happen... :laugh: maybe you should lay off and give him time to really want you.

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He is not doing drugs, drinking, he hasn't been with many other girls at all(none for sex, just stuff), we hooked up a lot when we first got together. Because of me we waited till about a year ago to have sex though. That's what I don't understand. He used to be so damn horny all the time, now nothing. I understand that I just need to wait so that he will have time to want me, but he must not want me too bad if it takes him a week to finally initiate it. I guess both of us have laid off of foreplay. I guess I need to take care of that problem and he will pick up on it and hopefully do the same (whenever we actually do get it on.) He doesn't excercise or eat right, but he never really has. He is a Capricorn. Mean anything? I know it's not the church thing. Here's a question though. How much do you guys out there comment about hot girls on tv? Over the years he does that more and more (prob just cause he's comfortable with me now) but he does it a lot lately. He has a bunch of pics on his computer too. I am attractive-skinny, good ass and legs, not big boobs though, but he's always liked them. Is that just a guys nature or does he really wish I looked like that? Thanks a lot for your help. Keep replying!!

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its a funk. . .relationships that have lasted that long always have their funks.

Its true that if u get it so often you will get bored of it. . .(not that i do :grin:) but some people do. . .give it a few days where you control your hormones :laugh: and initiate nothing. . .his little "playing hard to get" will come to an end.

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Well, I have been with my bf for almost a year and in the beginning, I was usually the one to initiate sex. Now, the roles have reversed and he is usually the one doing the initiating. And I dont want to have sex like I used to but I'm not cheating and I'm still attracted thim. Granted we are a little older (I'm 26 and he's 25) but I would think at 21, he would always want to have sex. I dont know, could be depression?? I dont know, just a thought.

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Yea I'd like to know what's up with guys looking and commenting on other girls on tv and stuff. My bf always does that too and i hate it. But it don't stop there we'll be walking down the street and he'll see a girl and be like damn she fine. What's up with that? I mean I can understand looking cause it's natural, but why is it needed to comment??:confused:

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Originally posted by ravahstar

Yea I'd like to know what's up with guys looking and commenting on other girls on tv and stuff. My bf always does that too and i hate it. But it don't stop there we'll be walking down the street and he'll see a girl and be like damn she fine. What's up with that? I mean I can understand looking cause it's natural, but why is it needed to comment??:confused:

first, why not speak what´s on your mind? do you feel you COULDN`T say to him that you find a guy that is walking past you attractive? if so, you are way too insecure in the relationship, IMO.

and second, you can safely assume that he finds you hot too otherwise he wouldn´t be together with you.

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Originally posted by somebitch

maybe hes just bored & you should try new things. maybe he likes you to initiate because it makes him feel wanted & that turns him on.

Ahh you beat me to it!

When you do have sex, is it procedural or is it a lil different every time? If it is procedural then you do have aproblem on your hands.

I guess both of us have laid off of foreplay

That is a big problem. Foreplay is key;tease the fuck outta him and he'll want it.

If he STILL doesn't want sex, go to the vitamin store and get some Horny Goat weed, slip some in his drink or something. You'll be jacking like rabbits in no time :)

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Well...I don't feel it's polite to be commenting on other guys walking down the street when I with my man. Plus I know if I did he'd be pissed, but yet he talks about every hot girl that walks by. I tell him to stop and I don't like when he does it, but he continues to do it. Plus he tells me he just does it in front of me not when he alone because he says this way he's not hiding anything. He's going to do stuff in front of me not behind my back. I dunno, I just find it real annoying and rude!!:rolleyes:

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Originally posted by ravahstar

Well...I don't feel it's polite to be commenting on other guys walking down the street when I with my man. Plus I know if I did he'd be pissed, but yet he talks about every hot girl that walks by. I tell him to stop and I don't like when he does it, but he continues to do it. Plus he tells me he just does it in front of me not when he alone because he says this way he's not hiding anything. He's going to do stuff in front of me not behind my back. I dunno, I just find it real annoying and rude!!:rolleyes:

i think it is really rude too. it is one thing to say someone on tv is hot but to say some girl on the street is hot is kinda rude. its like, if you want her, go talk to her and ill be on my fucken way.

ill be the first person to say someone looks good if they do but have some fucken respect, say shes pretty or has nice features dont say OH SHES SO HOT like you wanna bang her. :rolleyes:

if i see a hot guy on the street and im with a guy i dont ogle. I might say oh he was cute, or had nice eyes but i wouldnt say OH DID YOU SEE HIM HES HOT (like what am i doing with you when hes walking around the streets :laugh: and if i felt that way i wouldnt waste my time with someone)... if im wrapped up in a conversation, brad pitt could pass by and i probably wouldnt notice.

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Yeah, I hate how he comments about girls. He gets a little jealous when I comment about other guys, but he doesn't really care that much. I can handle his little comments about Britney and stuff, but lately it's about every descent looking girl on tv. That's not really my major concern. i was just wondering if maybe it was connected to the sex thing. I am definately gonna lay off for a while and let him get good and ready for me. i got to thinking why is he tired of it and i'm not. Maybe it's because I have the challenge. That's what he needs. Then maybe he'll always want it. If he always has to initiate it and never knows if he'll for sure get some, he'll always want to try, ya think? Cause he's said before that it doesn't really turn him on to think that he can get some whenever he wants. There's nothing to anticipate. But, also, whenever I told him that I always initaiate it, he said "maybe that's what I like." So I don't really know which it is. I'm thinking the first one because we don't always get it on when I initiate things. Thanks for all the input.

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Originally posted by tastey

LMAO... i´m an aries! what does that say about my sex drive? pleaaaasseee i wanna know! :laugh::rolleyes:

but seriously, girl, either the guy is jerking off too much or he´s getting it elsewhere OR he has a medical problem (hormon related, yet not very likely). believe me a guy with a normal sex drive INITIATES SEX :)! we can´t get enough of it if we haven´t just come from a fuckfest with our other girlfriend or just jerked off 4 times to lesbian porn.

I don't like lesbian porn...

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Originally posted by ravahstar

Yea I'd like to know what's up with guys looking and commenting on other girls on tv and stuff. My bf always does that too and i hate it. But it don't stop there we'll be walking down the street and he'll see a girl and be like damn she fine. What's up with that? I mean I can understand looking cause it's natural, but why is it needed to comment??:confused:

Read "The Girls in Their Summer Dresses" Its a short story!:D

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maybe you guys are just having a dry run...I mean, is it like that all the time?? Or is it just for a little while that this has been going on? Talk to him about it or try adding a little flavor to the "good old deed" and see what happens...good luck;)

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First off both of U are WACK!!

HELLO!!! U got the reason why,

HE doesn t eat right, or even EXERCISE!!!!

NHO!! WTF???

R U BLIND??? WHen I don t go to the gym

my libido goes down!! NO JOKE

NO fucken for me, don t even get horny !

Tell that fat fuck of a bf :laugh: got to get his ass to the gym,

do some raquet ball SOMETHIN to get him sweatin

and blood pumpin!!

I tell U this cause its TRUE!!!

Listen to me, stop with the Taco hell, And Yuckdonalds

drive threw.

EAT better, drink plenty of water and tell

Fat BAstard to EXERCISE!!!!!!!

See me in a month, and by then

U should be gettin regular injections of MAN MEAT

GOOD LUCK!!

PEACE MIAMI!!

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Originally posted by ravahstar

Yea I'd like to know what's up with guys looking and commenting on other girls on tv and stuff. My bf always does that too and i hate it. But it don't stop there we'll be walking down the street and he'll see a girl and be like damn she fine. What's up with that? I mean I can understand looking cause it's natural, but why is it needed to comment??:confused:

:laugh: I put up with that bullshit for a 1 1/2 yrs...I'd have to hear about how hot the girl was for like an hour after she walked down the street...He does it cause he knows you get mad...Just do it back to him

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