dgmodel Posted February 19 Report Share Posted February 19 everyone prolly seen this a couple of times already if not more... however i still find it funny as hell...RULES FOR GUYS Make sure you study these to learn proper guy etiquette!1. Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolat"2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killedand eaten by his fellow partygoers.4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father,priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not andshould not provide any useful information whatsoever as to hiswhereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail afriend out of jail within 12 hours.6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent withoutrecrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to callBULLSHIT. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowableexaggeration rate rises to 400 percent)7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister isoff-limits forever.8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who'srunning late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babescale.9. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator isforbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man.In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional andslightly gay.11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddyis trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carriedaway with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your palis forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.12. Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permissionand he in return is required to grant it.13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spiesuntil they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick abuffalo wing clean.14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem, you didn't seenothin'.15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.16. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.17. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you mayalways ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never askwho's playing.18. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whineyfriend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'llbe able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses aboutjoining the priesthood.19. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you'resunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a toplesssupermodel... and it's free.20. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.21. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman mustremain sober enough to fight.22. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, youmust jump into the fight.Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you tothink, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then you may sitback and enjoy.23. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting:"Yeah, baby, push it!""C'mon, give me one more!"Harder!""Another set and we can hit the showers.""Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"24. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice ofpizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.25. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring tohis beer.26. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except whenshe's withholding sex pending your response.27. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing:either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations,a nod is all the conversation you need.28. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you maynot, unless you are gay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrishaolin Posted February 19 Report Share Posted February 19 I disagree with number 27... equal footing or not, no conversation should take place while urinating.. fuck that.. can you think of a more uncomfortable situation? well.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted February 19 Author Report Share Posted February 19 lol... im a huge stall talker... (when im drunk) i hate awkward silence... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mssabina Posted February 19 Report Share Posted February 19 Originally posted by dgmodel lol... im a huge stall talker... (when im drunk) i hate awkward silence... that's such a female type thing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted February 19 Report Share Posted February 19 Originally posted by dgmodel 28. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you maynot, unless you are gay. is it a little gay to sing along to a song in your friends car anyway?? or no? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrishaolin Posted February 19 Report Share Posted February 19 Originally posted by dgmodel lol... im a huge stall talker... (when im drunk) i hate awkward silence... stall talking isnt as bad as urinal talking.. thats just way too awkward and id rather deal with the silence lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted February 19 Author Report Share Posted February 19 Originally posted by mssabina that's such a female type thing see i told you im a 1/4 female... lol... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted February 19 Author Report Share Posted February 19 Originally posted by chrishaolin stall talking isnt as bad as urinal talking.. thats just way too awkward and id rather deal with the silence lol my patented cornball line when peeing is " you never buy it you only rent it" reffering to the alcohol.. and that usually gets a laugh and thats that... then the guy next to me starts telling me how he has some "bitches" on lock and hes going to bang them or something to that extent... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrishaolin Posted February 19 Report Share Posted February 19 Originally posted by dgmodel my patented cornball line when peeing is " you never buy it you only rent it" reffering to the alcohol.. and that usually gets a laugh and thats that... then the guy next to me starts telling me how he has some "bitches" on lock and hes going to bang them or something to that extent... lol i know that guy.. hes always such a clown.. . the worst has to be you're walking in and someone you know is just finishing up, zips up, walks right past the sink and extends his hand for a pound/shake or whatever and you're like "are you for real?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted February 19 Report Share Posted February 19 Originally posted by chrishaolin lol i know that guy.. hes always such a clown.. . the worst has to be you're walking in and someone you know is just finishing up, zips up, walks right past the sink and extends his hand for a pound/shake or whatever and you're like "are you for real?" are u for real??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted February 19 Author Report Share Posted February 19 Originally posted by chrishaolin lol i know that guy.. hes always such a clown.. . the worst has to be you're walking in and someone you know is just finishing up, zips up, walks right past the sink and extends his hand for a pound/shake or whatever and you're like "are you for real?" lmao... hell yeah... i hate that ish... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrishaolin Posted February 19 Report Share Posted February 19 Originally posted by somebitch are u for real??? hell yeah.. thats when i extend the fist for the fist slap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deepak1977 Posted February 19 Report Share Posted February 19 Originally posted by chrishaolin stall talking isnt as bad as urinal talking.. thats just way too awkward and id rather deal with the silence lol that's even worse, there should be absolutley no talkn'. the most you'll get out of me is a "hi". isn't it funny, how two guys who are the best of friends would not say a word to each other, acting as they were total strangers in the bathroom. yet, if two girls who don't know each other go in the bathroom at the same time, they would come out talking to each other as if they knew one another for years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gambitrah Posted February 19 Report Share Posted February 19 Originally posted by deepak1977 that's even worse, there should be absolutley no talkn'. the most you'll get out of me is a "hi". isn't it funny, how two guys who are the best of friends would not say a word to each other, acting as they were total strangers in the bathroom. yet, if two girls who don't know each other go in the bathroom at the same time, they would come out talking to each other as if they knew one another for years. whats the best way to clear out a busy line of urinals..."nice dick" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timetraveler69 Posted February 19 Report Share Posted February 19 Originally posted by gambitrah whats the best way to clear out a busy line of urinals..."nice dick" it's also a nice way to get punched in the face Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djjonmartin Posted February 24 Report Share Posted February 24 Isn't it stupid how even though you and your best friend could have tag-team sex with a girl and share the same holes, you feel too uncomfortable pissing next to each other to even say a word? Kinda stupid if you ask me. Then again, I'm gay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghhhhhost Posted February 24 Report Share Posted February 24 yeh..so...ahm...im a little if-y on the whole tag team sex issue...i do not want to see my friends man-junk..and im not sure how comfortable id be with making contact with it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted February 24 Author Report Share Posted February 24 Originally posted by djjonmartin Isn't it stupid how even though you and your best friend could have tag-team sex with a girl and share the same holes, you feel too uncomfortable pissing next to each other to even say a word? Kinda stupid if you ask me. Then again, I'm gay. :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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