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Evan

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I've been getting a lot of e-mails, IMs, PMs, etc on more details of my life. I always wanted to write this story. Up to now, I had just taken pictures of it. You can see these at http://lurker.allied.org Ever since I wrote those stories in the post "I was so k'd up I..." I have been thinking how I could tell more about myself without anything incriminating. After talking to my lawyers, I have put together this. Let me know if you want me to continue this.:

never did drugs till I was 21. I never smoked cigarettes and only got drunk maybe 4 times in my whole life. By the age of 21, I was doing amazingly well in my career. I was working in Wall St. while directing people that were in there 30s. I had a luxury apartment in Battery Park City, Manhattan and a huge savings acct. But I wasn’t happy. I was 260 lbs. I had no girlfriend to speak of for the last year. The girl I had dated for 4 years before that broke up with me because I had moved to Manhattan (I’m sure the weight gain in the last 2 years hadn’t helped things either).

My friends felt sorry for me. I had hired a couple of them to answer phones, do consulting work, etc. So on the weekends, they would take me out to the biggest clubs in NY and try to get me to party with them. They would all take a hit of ecstasy and meet mad girls. I’d see everyone hooking up with a minimum of 3 girls a night. We’d come back to my apartment, and my friends would have orgies on my bed while I slept on the couch…alone. My friends would try to send a girl over to give me a pity fuck once in a while, but the girls only wanted to fuck if I would be high with them. It was really sad.

This went on for a couple months. It seemed like every girl I met in the city did drugs. Then I met Liza. Liza and I dated for 1-2 months. She didn’t see the fat boy..she saw a career oriented person. She herself was making 6 figures trading on Wall St. She was beautiful, smart, successful, etc… In fact, she was so stunning none of my friend ever knew how I had been able to keep her abtain her in the first place. But then she came over my apartment high one night. I was furious. I was like “How the hell could u do something like that to your self??†and she just walked out the door and I didn’t see her again for years ( I started seeing her again a bit 3 months ago, so..hehehe).

Now I was totally confused and upset. Every time I went on a date, the girls either wanted to go drink or do drugs..they all wanted to escape reality in some way. I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to get laid. I wanted to experience 2 girls at one time like all my friends. So, I agreed to go with my friends to a club and do a hit of ecstasy.

I went to the club that Friday night, popped the pill of E….and was fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked up. It was amazing. I understood shit now. Girls were coming over to me while I lay back on the couch and curling up on my lap. They gave me body rub, head massages, and made out with me. They didn’t care that I was fat. Everyone was beautiful on E. When I went home, I had hooked up that night alone with 4-5 girls. I was obsessed. I went again with my friends to the club the next weekend and did another hit of E. And the same thing happened.

So, now I decided that it was time for me to lose some weight. I had more energy because for the first time, I felt that I had a future in life. I got a personal trainer and worked out with her 3 times a week. I also was taking E every weekend Friday and Saturday. Within 2-3 months, I had lost 80lbs.

I was happy. I was thin, I was going to clubs, meeting girls every night..bringing them back to my apt. I was having sex with 2-4 girls a weekend. And sex on E is simply amazing for me. Then one weekend, while I was at a club with the same friends that gave me my first E, I noticed that my trips were getting shorter. One of the girls came to me, while I was fucked up, put a bump of Ketamine (cat and dog tranquilizer) on my hand and said “sniff this..it’ll make u feel much betterâ€. Well, I was too messed up to think clearly, and I sniffed. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH. I was loving the feeling. It was like I was on a rollercoaster..or skydiving..But I knew I was safe. When I wanted to end the trip, all I had to do was drink a can of coke. Sugar kills the effects of K on your system.

After that, I was going to clubs Friday and Saturday nights. Sometimes even alone. I would always manage to come back with people to my apartment. I must have met 300 people in 1 month alone. I met people from every aspects of life. I lost count of all the girls that I was hooking up with. I lost track of the money I was spending on drugs. All I knew, was that I was having the best time of my life and I never wanted to stop. I had slept with more women that most people meet in a lifetime. I had made friends with hundreds of people. My phone would be ringing every 10 minutes with someone else. Everyone was getting high on something. I even tried other drugs. Starting with E, Ketamine, Coke, Weed, Acid, and then Mushrooms in that order. I stayed with the E and K as my choice of drugs though. Slowly after 2-3 years of constant E abuse, I stopped the E, and just got hooked on the K.

To be continued……..

If you want...give me feedback..

Lurker

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I need a Cliff's Notes for your post. I think you've posted the link to that website several times before. You hang with some pretty good lookin' chicks, espicailly for such a plain looking guy. Well except for this one in pink (is she/he a man?):

tnBez_Nicole3.JPG

They must be after your money I guess.

I think you should write a book. Call it "E, K, G and ME!!"

Not sure if anyone would be bored enough to read it, but what the hell, it'll give you an outlet to tell others about your wonderful drug induced excursions (since you seem compelled to let us know about them).

Anyway, I'm glad to hear about the ketamine addiction, hope things are going well for you. :)

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evan, you really piss me off u fucken pansy boy. u r gonna get a disease and drop dead fucking all these "women".. you are an idiot.

you expect people to believe that anyone PMs u about your boring little petty life with all the trannies running around your apartment & u telling us how hot your "girlfriends" are. :laugh:

it is people like u that make me wanna :puke: i hope i never meet another pathetic/disrespectful/worthless loser like yourself in my life. have some respect for life, for the "women" u bring home & for yourself. and do us a favor and stop acting like anyone cares.

:rolleyes::laugh::blown:

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The way your life evolved into the world of clubs, drugs, sex, and many many afterhours parties....is probably similar to the way we've all have gotten sucked in one way or another.

The sad issue is that some people get way in over their head....at some point of all this fun they cross that line of "just partying" and all of the sudden they find themselves doing it during the week...dip and dab before a family function....a little here before work....all of the sudden their priorities have changed....everything is circled around hiding their addiction and before you know it....you have totally lost control of everything that mattered to you in the first place.

Not to say I've been perfect my whole life but you always think something like this could never happen to you. How many times have you heard people say "Oh I have control....always in moderation....I'm not addicted....I don't need it when I go out to a club...I'm here for the music" Yeah okay??

Well hopefully within all the fun, you've managed to stay focused on the important things in life.

AND most of all practiced SAFE sex.

:D :D :D :D

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There's always gotta be one hater in the group. Who ever said I disrespected anyone? I always cared about all my friends..girls or guys. That's why I had friends in the first place. Probably something u wouldn't know about. What's a matter? Sleep with too many guys on the first date and they ditched u afterwords? Sucks, huh?

As for the TS Nicole in that pink shirt. Yeah..She came to my party. Everytime I took a pic, she would be in front of the damn camera. As for the rest of the website, there are only a total of TWO TS' on them. That pretty much makes the ratio of TS to girls 100 to 1. I hardly see how that then makes my website "full of trannies" I have been asked many times to take the TS' off, but as they are some of my best friends, I would never even think about it. I don't judge people by there race, color, religion, or sexual preference. It's a shame that there are some of you that still do.

And my K addiction... I have been in rehab for over a year now. I have been sober for about that amount of time with only a couple of indescretions. The second part of my story is the downfall of drug abuse. I feel that part of my retribution (or is that contribution.. I don't remember) to society should be helping others know that even if they don't see consequences now for the actions they take, they will later in life. Hopefully my story could help.

Evan

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i have only been with a handfull of guys so you can keep dreaming.

i am not a hater, i just find you annoying. you think people give a shit about your life, like you are some kinda of celebrity, get over yourself. you arent anything but a K addicted tranny fucker. :rolleyes:

also, i do find it disrespectful to bring home girls you barely know. not just to them but to yourself. i am way above you. you are pathetic swine. you dont know anything about me. i am not the one posting my life of allowing my "friends" to have orgys in my bed while leaving me on the couch alone because im a fatass, falling into addiction & getting laid because of it, then saying how popular/cool i was/am. if that is friendship, im better off alone. i have a few good friends, i dont need a house full of people to feel like i am not alone. i bet u feel alone all the time.

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First off..I never hooked up witha TS. If you can't accept a person having a friendship with one, that is your loss.

Second, I didn't have to add that part about me being a fatass while people were having sex around me. I included that for reason of the second part if my story. It took a lot for me to express how I felt then. I've spent the last year of my life telling my stoires to NA and AA groups. I felt that this was an OPEN forum where I can try to help others. It's too bad there are frigid bitches like you who have to put down others when they tell facts about their lives. If people like you just shut the fuck up and listened for a change, maybe you could be a nicer person instead of the hater that you are. One thing we learn in groups is that you NEVER put down a person's story no matter how dregraded it is. It is a part of their life. There is nothing that can be changed about it. You disrespecting them openly will not help anyone. The fact that you not only need to openly show disgust for my story as well as launch false insults just shows how petty a person you really are. You try to make yourself feel better by bringing others down. That's just sad. My story might be pathetic in other people's eyes. i can deal with that. Not everyone agrees with that type of lifestyle. But I don't go around trying to hurt others.

Your name tells me exactly what you are. Do everyone a favor. Go kill yourself.

Evan

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Yes I did. Sorry for the crazy outbursts. Sometimes, people just royally piss me off. Anyways, yes I did practice safe sex. With all the shit I lost and gained in the end, VD was not one of them...Thank God.

I appreciate the postive comments. Hopefully, I will feel strong enough to post the second part of my life. Or as I like to call it.. My downfall because of drugs.

Evan

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Part 2 of 3:

Ok…. Here’s where the story continues. I was a young Wall St Exec. who worked hard and played hard. Usually people would relax after working all week on the weekends. Nah..not me. I couldn’t do that. Too much shit was happening. Sleep? Never heard of it. I was blazing though weeks like they were nothing. Monday though Friday were just filler days for a week. I would be back at work in the beginning of the week, leaving half of my brain for processing what I would be doing the upcoming weekend. I was spending money like it was water I didn’t like it when my crew didn’t have all the drugs we needed so I got better distributors. My friends knew when we went out that weekend, we’d have enough drugs for going out to the clubs, and for coming out of the clubs.

The store Bang Bang became my supermarket. I would go shopping there once a week buying new clothes for the clubs. Half the time, I would shock my associates at work by wearing a color shimmering shirt with a suit…just to liven shit up. The K was eating at me. Growing into a huge monster. Wanting to do more and more of it each day. I was trying to limit the drugs for weekends only, but then I started to let Thursday nights be included. We’d all go out to Cheetah and do a little bumpy bumpy… Leave by 2 a.m. and I’d still be able to make it into work that morning.

Then I found more distributors. And we were running around party to party, They were all over. There was one party in NJ where a rich socialite woman was divorcing her husband. They were selling the house, so she let us kick back there and go crazy. She’d bring women and male strippers, and buy K by the pound, leaving it in a dish with a spoon by the pool. We’d all be getting fucked up all the time. I had the excuse for doing K during the week, that this would just be a 1 time thing. I was commuting from NJ to work every day partying like an animal every night.

When that was over, I started throwing my own parties on the roof of my apartment building in Manhattan. I had a huge roof deck, and I’d have a party last for 2-3 days on the weekend. We’d tan all day fucked up in the sun, and then dance the night away. Now I was doing K every day. I was doing about 5 bottles a day. That’s about $150,000 of k a year, In the last 4 years I had already spent $600,000 on it. I couldn’t afford that. Even on my salary. I put my self in the deep end, and started doing things I shouldn’t have.

I would be K’d up all day, and all night. Here’s a little example: I’d wake up at 7:00. I wanted to do a bump but I knew that if I did, the steam of the shower would just make it come back out. Also, usually in the shower I’d blow my nose and have streams of blood pouring out. I knew they were just blown capillaries so I ignored that. After the shower, I’d do my first bump at 7:20. I had two different offices. If I was working on the American Stock Exchange I would just walk over 2 blocks from my apt. If I was working in midtown I’d take a Lincoln Towncar.Either way..walking or being driven..I’d need a line for the trip. When I got to work, I’d go into my office and pull out my 3 gram jar. I’d do a line on the keyboard before I started typing. No one at work really knew what I did anyways. I would be pretty much alone in the office until 4:15 when the traders came back from the AMEX. I was cool. I could be in a complete hole while making 5 year multi million dollar deals. At the end of the day, I’d have friends meet me at work to go back to my apartment. Pretty much from 5:30 p.m. to 2:00 a.m. I’d have a party at my house EVERY weekday with at least 5-10 people over. I installed black lights, a smoke machine, strobes, lasers, dance lights, etc.. All activated by remote control. I myself…Was totally out of fucken control.

It all started with my building. My building manager came to me and complained that I was having too many guests to may apartment every night. I pretty much ignored her comments and just kept partying. I felt I was invincible. Then..In June 2001, I got a knock on the door. I had just got home from work, and had sniffed a line of K. I opened the door..and got knocked down. It was NYPD and DEA. They had a search warrant for my apartment. Seems someone had narced on me and said my apartment contained Ketamine. I was arrested, along with the 20 bottles of K they found under my bed.

I was fucked. Here I am. A white boy from Wall St. They had me. I had no excuses. Nothing. I was put through central booking and released on bail after 1-2 days. I missed work, and was unable to call them to excuse my absence. I faced the music and told them the truth. They told me to just do my work and make it up to them.

The party was over. I tried cleaning up my life. I spent $50,000 on a lawyer and was told that I might be able to get a 1 year suspended sentence. Meaning that after 1 year, this would be erased if I kept my nose clean. I was still hanging out with the same crackhead friends, but they knew they couldn’t do drugs around me. I’m not saying I stopped doing K 100%. But I did have it almost controlled to about 1 bottle a week. I felt I was gonna make it. Then those damn terrorists fucked shit up…

Living in Battery Park City, I lived literally about 1 ½ blocks from the WTC. The morning of 9/11, I was running late for work. I heard the explosions and looked out my windw (which also faced the WTC). I ran outside to get a better grasp of what was going on. On the way I passed a deli where I grab a couple disposable cameras. There were people streaming like rats from a ship out of the buildings. I saw people hurt and bloody. Then the screaming began. I looked up to see the first jumpers falling to the ground. I looked away but could still sense the moment of their impact. There were more. Countless others. Some holding hands. Some alone. Some in groups. I will never forget that sight as long as I live. Or the screaming of the men and women next to me too horrified to look away. I went back to my apartment. I figured that the fire would be put out, but there would be panic in the streets. My apartment would be the safest place for me. I was looking out my window while taking pictures when the first tower collapsed. The ground shook. The noise was horrifying. It seemed almost like watching an action movie rather than it being real. As the tower fell..I realized I was fucked. I knew there was no place to hide. I couldn’t move anyways…My feet were glued to the floor. As the building went down, the debris wave came up, billowing like an angry serpent, racing to my window. At the last second I fell to the floor. BANG. It hit my window. I realized I was screaming in terror. I couldn’t stop. The window started melting..bubbling a bit before it just gave way. Then. Darkness. Darker than any night. Imagine There were no stars. No moon. Just BLACK. The air was hot and musty. Making u cough and gag every 5 seconds. You couldn’t see your hand in front of you. You didn’t know what was where. Something hit me. I felt it. It was a cell phone. I could feel the Nextel flip part. I didn’t own one. It must have been someone in the WTC. A shoe goes flying by. I hide under the bed. After about 30 min, darkness turned into grayness. When the second building fell..it was less of a shock. Kinda like…oh..there goes another one. After about 1 hour. I felt my way out of my apartment into the hallways. There was no ermergency lights for some reason. Nor in the stairs. I somehow made it out of my building. While walking towards the Brooklyn Bridge, I got in touch with a drug dealing friend of mine. I asked him if he had K. He said yes. I told him I wanted all of it. Every single bottle. In the week after 9/11, I spent $10k-$20k on ketamine.

I was hooked again. I was homeless since my apartment was mostly destroyed as well as not able to even access Battery Park City. I moved into hotels, switching out of them once a week so I wouldn’t get to hot in any of them. I couldn’t sleep anymore. Every time I closed my eyes I would hear screaming and see people falling..so I just did K.. 24/7. I threw parties at the Plaza, the Barbizon, the Times Square Hilton, etc. I was back at work on September 13th. I had no time to deal with my emotions. Wall St. was fucked. 80% of my data lines had been lost and I had to rework all the systems to be up and running by the time they reopened the market. I was working 14 hour days, while partying at the hotels every night. I was so hooked on K that if I was at work for an hour, and I hadn’t taken a bump, I would turn white, start to shiver, and get the sweats. A co worker would ask me if I was on drugs. When I came back from the bathroom after doing a bump, I would look normal again. The craziness went on……

Let me know what u think..I'll write part 3 tonight.

Evan

Oh..and as always..the pics of 9/11 on my website. About halfway down the page. http://lurker.allied.org

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i think u r an ungreateful pussy boy with no respect for the things you had. you should have been happy to have all the things you had, the career some people who worked really hard would die for, which you probably got your foot in the door though someones friend with zero education and experience.

no offense but you fucked yourself. you had it made and you gave it up. it's the ones born with the silver spoon who dont know how to treat what they have.

hopefully you can build your life back up and most importantly u learn to respect that which you are given.

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Hmm... Very witty. Too bad you're obviously too stupid to have read my previous story that I talked about in the beginning of this thread (Here: This thread ). I ran away from home when I was 14. I was homeless. Livng in Convenent House. No one helped me get to where I was. I had no childhood to speak of. I had to make all the friends and contacts myself.

In college, I not only had to pay for tuition, but food, clothing, housing, etc.. I worked since before the age of 16. I got my job through my knowlodge of technology. Nothing was ever "handed to me"

One of the reasons I partied so hard was because throughout my life I knew nothing but pain, abuse, and hardship.

Yes..I threw a lot away. I don't refute that. I would like to show this, if u could stop with the immature snide remarks.

Evan

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A lot of people have been messaging me about my childhood. They have been asking me about the pictures they see on my site. They were confused about some stories that seemed to conflict them. I left out my childhood as it is very emotional draining and I wanted to focus on my drugs use and downfall. I see now, that maybe some facts about my childhood will help bring a light on why I let myself fall off the deep end. I’m sorry that I will go backwards for this part of the story. I am writing this every day about 1 hour before I post. I am leaving out some parts of the story as they are just gratuitous or incriminating.

I was born in 1975 in Manhattan. My parents moved to Greenwich, CT then to have more room for the family. I had one brother older by 3-4 years. My mother was Israeli born to Swiss parents right after WWII. They moved back to Switzerland early in her life. My mother knew nothing but discipline and beatings growing up. She left at a young age to start a life on her own. My father was born in Hells Kitchen, NY. He knew nothing but a life of working hard. When his parent’s passed, he had to accept all his father’s debts. He met my mother in the Catskills when he was in his 50s, and she was in her early 20s. They married a short time after and had my brother and I a little after that. My parent worked together in their graphic arts company and were very successful. The house they bought in Greenwich, is today worth $18 million.

You might think that meant I lead a spoiled rich kid life. The exact opposite is true. I lived an extremely sheltered life. I was not allowed to watch TV, use the phone, have friends, go out at night, etc. Most of the rooms in the house would be locked from my use. They would even go as far as lock the freezer with a padlock so I would have to eat what they wanted me to. I learned to read at an early age, and while I loved to read science fiction books, my mother would hide them saying that they rotted my brain. I was only allowed to read history or Jewish religious books. My parents were very Orthodox and forced me to follow their religion strictly.

My brother and I were abused badly as children. We were beat almost daily by my father as well as being slapped and hair pulled by my mother. Our daily schedule was go to school and come home right afterwards. No playing after school sports, no going to friend’s houses. No prom or school parties. No weekend fun either. I would have to sit at home learning every Saturday and Sunday. I had no friends to speak of. Life was extremely lonely. Even though I went to a public school I was forced to wear slacks and a button down white shirt. This was opposed to what the other kids were wearing like Mettalica T Shirts and ripped blue jeans. To say I stuck out like a sore thumb is putting it mildly. When I got in a fight in school because I would be picked on, I would get beat at home even more for getting in trouble.

I was a intellectual kid. Mostly because it was forced on me. I learned Hebrew and German by the third grade. Trigonometry and Calculus by the fourth grade. While my classmates would learn what the constitution was, Id have to memorize the whole thing at home including the amendments. This pertained to all my classes. My mother would come to my school weekly to complain that I wasn’t learning enough. Of course this just led to more beatings by the school bullies.

When I was 14, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had just gotten beat with the metal end of the belt and my body was aching. I was black and blue all over. I had heard of a place called Covenant House. I hitchhiked to the train station and jumped a train. I called the 800 # for this runaway shelter and they told me to go near Times Square. I got there by midnight, They made a spot for me on the floor as they were overfilled and told me I could sleep there. The next morning I realized that I was one of 3 white kids. The rest were all black and Spanish youths. Everybody was a thug. These kids had all lived on the street and had been abused as much or even worse than me. It took about 1 day to get most of my stuff stolen by a gang. When the staff there found this out, they kicked out most of the gang, thereby getting a death warrant put on me. I was locked inside the building because these homeless kids were now living on the street waiting outside for me to kill me for getting them kicked out. I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. I was being watched 24/7 for security while cockroaches would crawl on me at night, and rats the size of cats would run past me on the floor 5 feet from my face.

My parents, Covenant House, and me worked out an arrangement that if I could find a Jewish family to be my guardians, I could live with them and go to school. I found such a family in Brooklyn. While I appreciate this family taking me in and letting me stay in there basement, I still didn’t appreciate the religious beliefs they pushed on me. I was forced to go to Temple every morning at 6 a.m. to pray. Every day, no matter how sick I was or how bad the weather was. Because of them, I grew to hate religion. I put up with it then, for the roof they put over my head. I was 16 when I finally met my first girlfriend. For the first time I could actually make friends and go out and have fun. I had no money whatsoever to spend, but we found things to do.

The next year I moved to Queens for my senior year of high school. I started working odd jobs to put money in my pocket. My first girlfriend broke up with me after 1 year. I then met a new girl who I dated for the next 4 years. Because of me switching around schools as well as not being able to play sports I had no options of getting a scholarship for college. Financial aid was also not an option for me. Because of my SAT scores I was able to get accepted to Queens College. Unfortunately I was not able to find a family to provide me housing so I had to start to pay rent. College life was very busy for me. I would be watering from 5:30-10:00 .am., go to class, then be back at work from 3:00- 10:00 p.m. I had to pay for my housing, school, clothes, etc. While my friends would go on Spring Break and holidays off, I would be working the whole vacation.

I couldn’t afford a PC so my friends would let me use theirs to type up reports. One friend’s mother had an old PC, so she let me salvage it for parts. I finally had my first PC. At the age of 18 I got my first phone line. I started hacking my way around online. I started stealing credit card numbers from databases and learned how to make free phone calls anywhere in the world. After 2 years of this, a CIO of a Wall St. firm met me online and offered me a job doing tech work for his company. The money was shit, but he told me that after 1 year, I would be making double at any other firm I wanted because of the experience. With that real money I was finally making, I was able to afford some things in life. I finally bought a TV for myself. It took about 20 years before I could actually watch my first television show. I then moved to Manhattan so I’d be close to work. My four year girlfriend and I split so I just concentrated myself at work. The next year, I did double my salary becoming the youngest Assistant Treasurer (a title for Officer of the Bank) in the history of Bankers Trust. I kept making more money and more money every job I got.

The reason I hadn’t touched drugs up until that time in my life, was that I couldn’t afford them literally and figuratively. My life was too busy working to take the time off to get fucked up, as well as bring too dirt poor to buy it. This was until the age of 21, when I made that wrong choice.

The next part will continue where I left off last. The downfall…..

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Yup. Round Hill Rd. off of Lake Ave. Went to school with kids being dropped off by limos and luxury cars. I did not fit in at all. Being a poor little rich boy in a town where teenagers walked around with hundreds of dollars in their pockets didn't help. I think I had at most $1 per week that I was able to scorunge from change.

Evan

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