My history

[somebitch]

lol. i need to go there tomorrow...

i was at sundown saloon. i cant believe i just admitted to that. whatever, it is a place with drinks. met some really funny people last night.

[Evan]

See. And if u had just been nicer, I would have suggested we go out for dinner sometime.

Evan

[somebitch]

Originally posted by Evan

See. And if u had just been nicer, I would have suggested we go out for dinner sometime.

Evan

oh what a loss..

no jk, it's a nice thought.

anyway, i have a reputation to uphold. i just felt like being a bitch. im sure u understand.

[Evan]

So then honestly.. Now that you are getting to understand that my story is not about showing off but trying to warn people about the dangers of drugs use, what do you think of my story so far?

Evan

[somebitch]

sounds too familiar but interesting.

[somebitch]

d/p.

[Crackorn]

I'm glad you two made nice. Now continue......

[Evan]

yeah..we made nice...but now I'm BUGGED the FUCK out.

Ok.. When I posted this story. I knew I was going to open myself to everyone on Clubplanet. I also knew that some people might forward my stories to others. I mean.. I'm writing to try to help others. The more my story gets out, the more people might see the destruction drugs caused. BUT when I go for an interview today, and the FUCKEN BOSS HAS MY GODDAMNED STORY IN HIS E-MAIL, THAT BUGS ME THE FUCK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. He recognized me from my pic on the web site. He must have talked to me for a full hour over shit. I looked at his e-mail and saw at least 10-15 forwards on it. Somehow, i doubt I'm gonna get this job now.

When I come home, all paranoid, I look on my PC screen and see 3 IMs from guys and girls asking when the next part is coming out. I told them to check the board and they asked "What board?" They too had been forwarded the e-mails. They saw my AIM address on my website.

This thread has already been viewed now 650 times.

I dunno what to do now. I mean... I want to finish this story (I can write it by tommorow) but will i just be getting myself deeper? I know I'm not gonna be running for Congress or President in this lifetime. But, what if I go on a TV show like Jane Millionaire. Are they gonna show these stories like they showed that girl's fetish videos? Or one day, when I meet the girl of my dreams, will she already know all the shit I put my life through?

I'm confused, worried, scared, and emotionaly fucked right now. What should I do? If I don't finish the story, then all this was a waste, and I might not be able to help anyone. People would be mad for not finishing what i started. But if I do finish, will it affect the rest of my life?

Evan

Oh. I HAVE gotten a lot of positive feed back about the whole fighting addiciton thing. I am thinking of starting a addicition website using the same bulletin board software Clubplanet uses. Each addicition will be seperated by categories, and people can share ANONYMOUSLY their stories so they can help others as well as help themselves. Funding and advertising can be made by rehab centers. If anyone wants to get involved with me on this, please let me know.

[somebitch]

Originally posted by Evan

yeah..we made nice...but now I'm BUGGED the FUCK out.

Ok.. When I posted this story. I knew I was going to open myself to everyone on Clubplanet. I also knew that some people might forward my stories to others. I mean.. I'm writing to try to help others. The more my story gets out, the more people might see the destruction drugs caused. BUT when I go for an interview today, and the FUCKEN BOSS HAS MY GODDAMNED STORY IN HIS E-MAIL, THAT BUGS ME THE FUCK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. He recognized me from my pic on the web site. He must have talked to me for a full hour over shit. I looked at his e-mail and saw at least 10-15 forwards on it. Somehow, i doubt I'm gonna get this job now.

hey, that is my worst nightmare... that my boss pops up with sme random kinky sex board shit i said. you have to be very careful about what u say and who u let know your identity. i would continue if i was u though because u #1 got everyone interested and #2 enough stuff has been said already, i dont think after what has been said anything would be too shocking.

anyway sweetie, dont be down. do what u have to do for u. goodluck at the interview, im sure they will understand that you are beating your issues & that is admirable.

[Evan]

Ok. I’m back with another installment in the life and times of Evan. This thing is getting a little bigger than I wanted it to get, but hey..if it helps people to understand the dangers of drug abuse, then I’ve accomplished what I wanted. I’ve been reconginized from people reading this story and linking to my pictures on http://lurker.allied.org . It’s pretty fucken scary. A couple of people have also asked for more juicy details, I have decided to only include the bare essentials. My life was a depraved downward spiral with events that I wouldn’t want my friends knowing about, let alone strangers on the internet. Maybe one day I’ll write about my sexual past like Will Chamberlain, but that is not what today’s story is about… Well…. Not 100% about .

Last I left off, I was hooked again on K, and partying my ass off every night while working 14 hour days at work to get my networks up after 9/11. I was homeless because of my apartment being semi destroyed by the WTC, and living from hotel to hotel. I was in a weird state of mind. I wasn’t sleeping at all because of the nightmares, and the K was disassociating me from reality. I stopped caring about what was wrong and what was right. As long as I could be together with my friends and get fucked up with them, my life felt complete.

This was about the time that I met Christian. Ahh.. Christian. Meeting him almost deserves a whole other story. But since he is essential to this one, I’ll try to encapsulate it.

I was walking down 5th Ave one day after work with two of my friends. It was a warm day in September and these girls had decided to wear the bare minimums. As we were walking, a super stretch Mercedes limousine pulls up next to us, and a 30 something year old man jumps out. He introduces himself to us as Christian and shakes our hands with his left hand as his right hand is holding a glass of scotch. He tells the girls that he has never seen anyone as beautiful as them and if they would hang out with him for a bit. Of course, the girls declined so he made a better offer. He whipped out a roll of $100 bills and told them that if they came with him now, he’d take them on a $10,000 shopping spree. The girls could hardly say no, but they asked if they could take their “brother†(me) with them. He readily agreed and we piled into the limo.

He poured himself another drink, so I whipped out my vial of K and bumped up the girls. We settled on going to the Calvin Klein store. The staff all knew him by name. He settled on to a couch, nursing his third glass of scotch while watching us shop. It took us about 15 min to go through the ten grand. I got myself a nice $2,000 suede jacket.

We poured back into the limo, and he suggested we go back to his hotel. The girls were worried, but I wanted to see what this guy was about, so I agreed. I felt that if there were any problems, I could take care of him. His hotel turned out to be the Plaza. His room turned out to be room 1801. The top Penthouse. A $7,500 a NIGHT suite. We could hardly stop drooling. We walk into the room, and he pours himself another drink. I now realized we are dealing with a raging alcoholic. But that’s ok, since we are all addicts.

We chill there for a couple hours, then leave. But I leave him my phone # because he seemed like a cool person to hang with. The next day, he called me asking if I knew any other girls. I replied in the positive. He asked if I could bring 2-3 of them that night. He would arrange the limo. I didn’t see the harm, so I called my girls and we were on our way. We chilled over there for a couple hours getting fucked up, then in the early morning left. But as we were walking out the door, he pulls me aside and asks me how often I could do this. His deal was this. He came from his home in another state once a week, every week Wed-Friday. He was lonely, and wanted to hang out with girls. He would pay me to bring them over. Not only that, he would pay for all our drugs, offer me his Mercedes Limo with driver, and let me stay in one of the seven bedrooms of that suite.

I couldn’t resist the offer, and before I knew it, I was a pimp. Don’t get confused though. I didn’t ask ANY of the girls to sleep with him. They even told me they wouldn’t half the time on the way to the hotel. Out if all the girls that I brought there, I have no idea who did what with him. All I know is that from Wed- Friday every week, I lived like a king. We would order room service so much, we got our own butler. The suite also came with a full kitchen. We were cooking so much K, that we just paid off the hotel staff to do it. I’ll never forget the little old black maid cutting lines for us on a plate, and handing me the straw. Being rich is fucken amazing (or at least pretending to be rich). I would take the limo everywhere I went. If I went shopping, I went with Christian’s money. Every morning before I went to work, Christian would meet me at the door at 7 a.m, with a new drink in his hand telling me which girls to bring back, and which not to. He just had one rule. Never bring a guy there. I think that rule pissed off every guy friend I had. Fuck ‘em.

By November, Battery Park City was coming back to life. They had cleaned all the debris, fixed people windows, and cleaned the apartments for contaminates. It took me a little time to get used to living near a site where over 2,000 people were still buried. The smell was unbelievable. The fires were still burning months later in spots. Security to get into the area was ridiculous. They had road blocks along the entrance to the area with police checking IDs. If you didn’t have anyone in the car living in BPC, someone had to come get you and present their ID. With the way my party life went, this was a major inconvenience. I had to go to the intersection 5-10 times a day to pickup car loads of friends trying to come over. I remember one time, I was just too damn lazy, and I had 4 girls, who had just gotten off of work from dancing come to the intersection. They called, and I asked to be connected to the cops. I asked the cops if they could just let the girls go, since I highly doubted if any of them were terrorists. The cops agreed and hung up the phone. The girls walked into my apartment 5 minutes later. Five minutes after that, the doorbell ran. I looked out the door and it was 5 cops. My balls fell to the floor. I was caught again with drugs and paraphernalia in my apartment. As my friends and I are scrambling to try and clean things up, the cops just yelled through the door, that they just want to talk to the strippers that came into my apartment. I quickly threw the girls outside in the hallway. I swore to myself I will not be caught out like this and never keep shit in my apartment. I also told all my girls a new rule, where they HAD to cover up more when they went through the road blocks so I wouldn’t have any more horny police knocking on my door.

I haven’t discussed my contacts for K yet. I had a couple of them. Most are gone now, either caught or in hiding. My three main connections were the Hells Angels, the Russians, and the Koreans.

The Hells Angels were a cheap reliable connection. The only problem was that I didn’t like the kind of K they had. I did know, that if I needed them for protection or money collection, I would get 10 guys the size of gorillas to take care of any problem I had.

The Russian connection was strange. You can never trust them. You always need to check if they were shorting you, or if they had a robbing crew right behind them. They would murder their best friend in a minute. One time, they came to my apartment while they had some guy that owned them money locked in the trunk. I could hear him crying in the back as they drove away. I didn’t want to deal with them at all, if it wasn’t for the fact that a lot of my girls were Russian.

Then there was the Korean connection. In a single word. WOW. One of the upper bosses took a liking to me and took me out with him all the time. He was absolutely nuts and I loved it. His body was covered in tattoos. When he walked into a room everyone stood up. People would say hello to him by shaking his hand bowing, then backing away never turning there back to him in a sign of respect. He provided protection to most of the Korean whorehouses in NY, so he always had 2-3 escorts with him. I remember walking into one of these places with him and seeing the girls lines up just like in the movie “Rush Hour 2â€. I didn’t know whether to feel sorry for them, or just be amazed. He was always on time and I never had to worry about anything. My only problem was that he always had a crew where everyone was carrying Uzis. I mean EVERYONE. He wanted to give me one too, but I refused never having even ever touched a gun in my life. I was a crack head, not a criminal. There’s a difference, right? He’s in jail now. He was caught in California kidnapping some old multimillionaire and killing the bodyguards. I don’t know if he’s ever coming out.

By the end of November, I felt I had a nice system going. The parties were planned out for: Monday and Tuesday at my apartment, Wednesday-Friday at the Plaza, and the weekend at some other Hotel Suite I would rent. Everything was good. The only thing missing was a girlfriend. Hooking up with different girls all the time was getting yucky and skanky. During this drug rollercoaster I had dated the most wonderful, beautiful girl. I tried to treat her like a princess, taking her on shopping sprees, and promising her anything she wanted. Before she had met me, she had only done K once or twice. On our first date, before we went out to dinner, I took her shopping for paraphernalia for myself. I don’t know why she didn’t run out on me then. She would travel from NJ almost every other day to see me, and sit in my apartment just waiting for me to finish partying with my friends to hang out with her. While she waited, she would do K with everyone else. While one’s addiction is your own fault, I pushed her hard into it. By the time she broke up with me a year later, in disgust with me as well as herself, she was a raging K addict. She has recovered now. I lost a piece of me when I lost her as well.

In December I decided that I was done with all of this. I had convinced my ex girlfriend to go on a trip with me to Vegas. I told all my colleagues I was done, and I started collecting money everyone owed me. The Russians, pissed off that I had been going elsewhere recently, as well as the fact that I was ending our association, sent a couple of thugs to beat me up and rob me. This all happened on a weekday late at night. By the time they were done, I had been robbed for $10,000 and beat up pretty bad. I didn’t go to work that day, and when Christian saw me, he flew back home right away. He wasn’t about that world, and wanted me to clean up my act before I saw him again. That was the last time I saw him.

Now I was completely done. I just wanted to take my losses, finish all my shit, and get the fuck out. One week before the trip, I had 5 girls over my apartment. It was 7 p.m. and we had just cooked 5 bottles. It was the last of my supply. I really didn’t want anything in my apartment, even empty K bottles, so I gathered up the trash and opened my front door. I was knocked down by DEA and NYPD on their second raid to my apartment. I was caught. Again. They wanted to arrest all the girls too, but I took responsibility for all the K. It also turned out, that one of the other girls had dated one of the Captains. Only one girl was arrested in the end because she tried to flush her crystal down the toilet.

I was bailed out by the girls the next day, using the money I had planned on the Vegas trip with. I decided that this was now the perfect time for me to enter rehab. I told my work that I needed medical leave for mental issues. They accepted and I made my plans for rehab ready. An hour later, I was called into the conference room and told that if I went on medical leave, I’d be let go. I was shocked, and hurt. But I had no choice. I left.

Rehab was different. I went to Marsworth in Pennsylvania. It’s a little boring. 90% of the day you sit in circles telling your story. There was only one other person there that had even tried K. So, it was a bit awkward describing my addiction. You weren’t allowed to work out there, and they tried to stave off your addiction by replacing it with food. I gained 30 lbs while there. Fucken scary. I stayed for 2 weeks, until my insurance ran out and went home.

The day I got out of rehab was my birthday. I had just turned 26. It was a Friday, and when I walked into my apartment, I saw that it was still trashed from the cops. (Pics at: http://lurker.allied.org/raid/index2.htm ) I decided to stay at a hotel that weekend, and rented a penthouse in honor of my birthday. I called my friends, who were excited to celebrate with me. I just told all of them to NOT bring any K with them. They all agreed and the party was on. Without dragging this story out, by the end of the night, I had done a gram of K. In the morning, I was pissed off at myself, pissed off at my friends. I checked out of the hotel, only to discover that not only had someone stolen the $300 hotel gift basket which I had hid in the closet, but two people had also used the hotel parking valet and charged it back to my room.

Here I was without a job. I had just spent a good $1,000 on this party. I had no income from anything. I had used my savings to bail me out and another $50,000 to more lawyers for this newest case against me. I went nuts. I checked myself the next day into an outpatient rehab in Union Square called Realization Center. I have now been there for over a year. After 2-3 months, I also adopted a puppy from the ASPCA. She has helped me take responsibility for my life.

In July, I left Battery Park City. I moved back to Greenwich, CT to try to escape the drug clutches of New York. It’s weird being back in this house. I haven’t lived here in 13 years. I travel the 30-45 min trip back to NYC 2-3 times a week to try and readjust my life so I can move back. Some people ask me if I would do this all over again if I had a chance? It’s a hard answer. I threw EVERYTHING away for this damn drug. My career, the love of my life, my fancy apartment, my friends, my freedom, my emotions, etc. Did I party, meet thousands of people, and do crazy things. Yeah…Sure. But what can I show for it now, besides a web site with old pictures. I built my life from nothing, only to sniff it all away. I want to blame my ex friends that got me hooked. But I never had to take that first pill. I never had to do that first bump. What could my life have been without me taking those first steps into chaos.

Evan

[somebitch]

if someone told me they would take me on a 10k shopping spree and we pulled up at calvin klein, i would be pissed hehe.

[Evan]

That's what the girls chose. I never said they were classy. We spent double that at Gucci other times as well as Versace, Kenneth Kole, and whatever else we came along to on 5th Ave. He was supposed to take me on a electonics shopping spree at Harveys too, to buy me a Plasma TV and other things for my birthday.

He has not stayed at the Plaza since that December, and his cell was disconnected. I wish I could get in touch with my "sugar daddy" again. I know if I hired a search agency they could find him. But, I'm sure if he wanted to see me, he'd call. Alas... Fucked that good thing up too.

[somebitch]

id be like, 'take me to bergdorf' i could easily rack up 10k in there in minutes.

[Evan]

Actually it was really weird..Bergdorff is RIGHT next door to the Plaza, but we never went. I think it was because Christian couldn't walk that far in his drunkeness. We took a limo everywhere else.

But, somebitch, at least we know your price. One night for $10,000 shopping spree at Bergs.

hehe..Joke

Actually, it was really funny. I turned out all kinds of girls for these parties. I'll never forget one friend who was very beautiful, but had never had anyone give her money like that. She thought it was cruel for us taking advantage of a wealthy drunk. BUT... When he handed me $2,000 and I gave her half, just for sitting on the couch for 2-3 hours. She smiled, grabbed the cash, and asked when she could come back again. LOL.

[lollib]

Wow! I really knew K could be that addicting. I know people who used to do K and only K but never to that extreme. Thanks for sharing your story. I think it's really interesting. Although I have dabbled a bit, this really makes me never want to touch anything ever again!

[perns2002]

Originally posted by lollib

Wow! I really knew K could be that addicting. I know people who used to do K and only K but never to that extreme. Thanks for sharing your story. I think it's really interesting. Although I have dabbled a bit, this really makes me never want to touch anything ever again!

It can be, i know several people who actually had pains from it and they couldn't eat anything there insides were so f-ed up from not eating................

[Evan]

Thanx lollib. You just made all this worth it.

Yes. K is very addicting. Not only for me. In the last 4-5 years, I have passed up hundreds of sexual offers from girls who had no money but NEEDED K. They were offering to give their bodies over for a $50 gram. It was sooo sad. Of course i never got involved in that aspect.

I have also seen it in use as a date rape drug. Just a month ago, I threw a party where one girl got K'd up. I laid her in a bed in one of the other bedrooms and asked another girl to watch her. Well, this stupid girl left, and 15 minutes when I went to go check on the K'd girl, some guy was taking off her clothes. I was like "WHAT THE FUCK" and he's like "Dude..she's so beautiful..it's ok..she wants this", I got him beat and kicked him out. It's fucken digusting. And what's sadder, is this girl will not beleive me that this happened. She doesn't remember a thing. She got K'd up the next week in fact.

In all my time as a druggie, I NEVER got a girl fucked up to hook up with. That is just sad and pathetic. If we were in bed already and did drugs together and got fucked up that was one thing, but to take advanatge of somone in that condition. What's the point. You might as well screw a corpse. It's disgusting. I need a girl who will look me in the eyes and let me know that she KNOWS I'm the guy with her..

I'm ranting..sorry..it's one of my sore subjects. i hear rape cases almost every time I go to a rehab session.

Evan

[Evan]

Oh..and I missed that post about K and your insides. I've gotten gastritis as well as Urinary Tract Infections from K. Gastrtits basically makes your insides feel like they're gonna explode with all the trapped gasses in it. And UTIs..Oh my god. Imagine having to pee EVERY 15 minutes. And when u do pee, you pee fire. Imagine this going on for 24 hours a day for weeks on end. Every time you fall sleep, u need to wake up 15-20 minutes later to pee. I think every K addict I know has gotten on or the other or even both.

One more horror story is one girl I have all over my web site. She is one of the most beautful and sweet girls I know. She would be the perfect women if not for her addiction to K and what it has done to her. After lving with bladder infections for years, she had to have a tube inserted in her to replace her old urethra since the K had erroded it. She had this tube in her for the last year till it finally came out when they replaced it with something else. She now though has to use a catheter every time she pees. She hasn't been able to have sex in almost 2 years. And she still bumps 5 licks a day because she can't stop.

[lollib]

Really, thanks for post all this. It really is interesting to read (and really kills a lot of time at work j/k). Well, it sounds like you realized what you needed to do and hopefully you will stick with it. If you dont want to answer the next question, that is fine. Do you think your childhood had a lot to do with your addiction?

[Evan]

Good question. I believe yes. Since I was so repressed, I kinda exploded later in life.

But, on the other hand, if I wasn't repressed, and I had been allowed to go to parties and such. And I had been offered drugs and done them at an earlier age. Where would I be now?

It's better to focus on the present than lament the past. What's done is done, and we can only make the future better for ourselves.

Evan

[clubgyrl00]

Evan, i have a question for you...

The very few times I have ever bumped K, it has been next to, if not impossible for me to function...so its hard for me to imagine you doing K so often and actually working or doing other daily activities while being K-ed up...

So my question is, is a K addiction like a coke addiction, in which the user has to actually take the drug to just reach a feeling of normalness? In one of my psych classes i was taught that a persons tolerance to coke increases so much from a daily addiction, that they have to take a certain amount just to feel normal, and then an even larger amount to actually feel "high"

So would this be the same as K for u? I'm assumming you werent in k-hole 24/7...furthermore, i hate K...i hate that distortortion and confusion from reality...

lastly, as sad and horrific as your story was....thank you for sharing with us the dangers of drug addiction...i wish u the best of luck now and in the future.

[Evan]

Ok. I'll try to answer each question.

There are such things as functioning K addicts. The same way as one person can smoke weed or sniff coke all day and still be at work. I know if I did wither of those things, the last thing I'd be thinking of would be work.

In the beginning, when I started bumping K, it would mess me up for long periods of time. I could barely dance at a club, let alone even think of doing it at work. Slowly, as I built up a tolerance, I had to do more and more amounts. Where one gram used to last me a day, it would take 3-5 grams a day to keep me satisfied. Soon, I wouldn't go into a k hole anymore at all. I would just be a little "off center" but still able to do things. I wouldn't be able to watch TV, go out, hang with friends, etc. without wanting to be a little "off".

People have different tastes in life. One person might like chocolate, the other strawberry, While I loved the feeling of K, I hated the feeling of coke. I never did crystal because of not liking that speedy feeling. I could smoke weed, but I never liked the fact that you were messed up all day. One of the only redeeming features of the drug k, was that the effect only lasts about 30 min, and you could kill the effects almost instantly with sugar. I don't know any other drug that you can get unhigh with. I have been suprised at work with ermergency meetings, and have just drank a can of coke on the way to the board room.

Thank you though for taking the time to read it. I appreciate any feedback. I don't want people to think that I am a lone case of k addiction. I know at least 100 people personally with this addcition or worse. There are thousands more. All you have to do is walk in a place like Exit, Sound Factory, etc. There are over 30,000 bottles of K coming to the tri state a week. You do the math.

I've met people that just started doing K recently and are already up to 2-3 grams a day.

Evan

[clubgyrl00]

Very interesting...thanks for answering my questions

[lollib]

Evan, I also have another question. Do you still hang out with the same people that you used to? And if you do, do they still do stuff when they are with you?

[Evan]

In rehab and NA they teach you a phrase called "People, Places, and Things". If you want to kick your habit, you need to stop hanging with the same crackheads, find different places where crackheads don't belong, and try not to come upon items like a razor blade that will remind you of your addiction.

Now, in theory, this will keep ypu clean. In reality, this means you have to change your whole life. Out of 50 people I am in contact with right now, 5 of them don't do drugs. I most talk on the phone with the 45 because I'm not ready to hang out with them. My dating life has been hell, because every girl I meet either drinks or does drugs. I meet people in NA or rehab that are friendly, but all they ever want to do is talk about the past drug lives.

As for places, from a life of going to parties and clubs every weekend, I have went to 3 clubs in the past year. It just get's borning after dancing for 3 hours, while everyone around u is on one thing or another. I have thrown some parties this year where I can bring all my friends together in my own controlled enviroment, and they go into another room when they want to get high.

As for things.. I'm pretty cool now. If I see a razor blade, or cut straw I don't start feening. I went to Sound Factory a couple months back, and was in the DJ booth, when one guy pulled out like 5-10 grams of K and spilled it all on one record. That was hard. I just left the DJ booth for 20 min. By the time I came back, it was all gone. Free drugs are the hardest to say no to. :-)

Evan