tommyarmani Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 Is it possible to be Friends only with an ex? or does it represent some type of unhealthy co-dependence? is it disrespectful to your current GF (even if she says she doesn't mind) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexxyme Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 Originally posted by tommyarmani Is it possible to be Friends only with an ex? or does it represent some type of unhealthy co-dependence? is it disrespectful to your current GF (even if she says she doesn't mind) IMPOSSIBLE!!! *unless it wasn't a serious relationship* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mystify Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 I had 1 other serious bf, and I still speak to him every once in a while... I wouldn't call it a 'friendship,' but once in a while he'll call to see how I'm doing, and if I happen to run into him, we always say hi and bs... I think it's because it ended a long time ago, and we're both completely over each other. There are no more hard feelings or anger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 why would you wanna be friends with an ex?? it seems sketchy to me. i hate all my exs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slightofhand Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 ...because sometimes things don't end on a hateful tone...Just because you're broken up doesn't have to mean you hate or even dislike each other... maybe you were both on different pages or times in your life and wanted different things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 yeah but are you really gonna hang out and be platonic friends? i mean eventually one or both of u are gonna meet someone new and not have time for the other or having the ex as a friend will only cause problems in the new relationship. every guy i have been platonic friends with has either met someone and disappeared or it has become awkward between us over time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slightofhand Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 be cool with them... maybe. hangout? maybe once in a blue moon... but you've both clearly got other things to do and new people to see... so drifting is normal. and it's not like you can't have friends that you see occassionaly, or talk to once in a while... that can still constitute a "friend" even if things become akward, that's okay... it happens even between non-exs... drift.so in fact it's not "sketchy".... depending on the situation... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 well that sounds like a poor excuse of a friendship to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slightofhand Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 Define friendship.... and how many people that you talk to really fall into that definition?I have some people I'm really cool with... but we're both busy people, so conversation happens once in a while... but we're still good friends. Or does that fall into the "poor excuse" category?There is no set definition... each situation/relationship is different and should be handled as such. It's not like life has some set rules that everything follows... gotta have some flex... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 Originally posted by slightofhand Define friendship.... and how many people that you talk to really fall into that definition?I have some people I'm really cool with... but we're both busy people, so conversation happens once in a while... but we're still good friends. Or does that fall into the "poor excuse" category?There is no set definition... each situation/relationship is different and should be handled as such. It's not like life has some set rules that everything follows... gotta have some flex... What you're describing is an 'aquaintance' not a friendship...A friend is someone you call when you're in distress if it calls for it..A friend is someone that has your back....Are you really gonna count on an ex for that?...Think about it.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slightofhand Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 Good point phuture...The number of people who would qualify for what you describe I can count on a couple fingers (for me personally).... I don't even think of things in terms of friendship/aquaintance... since most people I don't rely on for shit.... I just call em all "friends" (very loose usage) vs my people (the REAL ones)I do see your point tho... well stated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 Originally posted by slightofhand Good point phuture...The number of people who would qualify for what you describe I can count on a couple fingers (for me personally).... I don't even think of things in terms of friendship/aquaintance... since most people I don't rely on for shit.... I just call em all "friends" (very loose usage) vs my people (the REAL ones)I do see your point tho... well stated. yeah i have a few aquaintence exs but i woldnt rely on them for anything or consider them friends. most of the time when they call me they are looking to make themselves out to be the shit in a pathetic attempt to make me feel like ive lost something. hehe. i mean i do speak to some here and there but usually when we get off the phone i wonder why the hell they called & dont care if they call again in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintron Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 I'm friends with some of my Ex's and others i just don't bother talking to. It all depends on the circumstances of the breakup.I'd figure there's no reason not to be friends with them simply because you aren't romantically involved. If they were good enough to steal your heart and their personality was good enough to make you want to be with them, then they're good enough to still be your friend.NAturally that doesn't apply to psychos with issues Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetie029 Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 I don't see the big deal in staying friends w/ ex's......it's not like you are going to see/speak to them all the time.......but to call every now & then to say hello/catch up on bs is ok......If you spent however much time w/ that person in a relationship there is no reason you can't be civil with them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 Originally posted by tommyarmani Is it possible to be Friends only with an ex? or does it represent some type of unhealthy co-dependence? is it disrespectful to your current GF (even if she says she doesn't mind) not possible... one of the two in the relationship would most likely still have feelings for the other... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 So many debates lately with my male friends on if you can be just friends with an exIm on good terms with all of my ex's and are actually friends with 3 of them and speak to them at least once a month or so. I see it as no biggie. If your bf/gf asked you to stop speaking to your ex's would you?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mssabina Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 so far, i've never stayed friends with an ex... more power to you if you're able to, but i've learned it's a lost cause since it never works out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elementx Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 I think it all depends on the situation. Most people say everything ends bad other wise it wouldn't end at all. My Ex and I still talk. And I would call it a freindship. We may not hang out. But I have been to functions with her because we both have alot of the same friends. I know her new Boyfriend and talk to him as well. Yeah at first it was wierd but you get over that. Her and I were together about 4 years. When every either of us need advice or someone to talk to. We turn to each other alot. We didn't break up on bad terms at all. We still loved each other but we just argued to much. And we didn't see eye to eye on alot of issues... All in all I would call it a pretty good friend ship. Are there still feelings there. If you ask me I would say yeah. I think there is still love. But not the same way. I would still do anything for her. As I believe she would do the same. Most of the time I would say no. You cannot be friends with an Ex because things normally just get way to complicated. But if you had something good and it slipped away for reasons that were not necesarily flagrant why throw everything away. May as well hold onto something. Which is what we did. And I don't regret it at all. Sorry for rambling. I could have gone on alot more. But I think I said enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dknybabe2929 Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 Originally posted by tommyarmani Is it possible to be Friends only with an ex? or does it represent some type of unhealthy co-dependence? is it disrespectful to your current GF (even if she says she doesn't mind) I think its very disrespectful to your current BF/GF, In my opinion anyway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elementx Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 Originally posted by dknybabe2929 I think its very disrespectful to your current BF/GF, In my opinion anyway I don't see why. I mean I guess maturity level has alot to do with it as well. Don't get me wrong I am not calling anyone imature. But if you are friends with your Ex before your Ex starts dating someone else or vise versa. It is not disrespect at all. On the other hand if you are not friends for a while and your ex meets someone else and then you become re-aquanted then I believe it is something the couple has to talk about and see how one another feels about it before proceeding. Just my 2 pennies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted March 15 Report Share Posted March 15 Originally posted by sexxyme IMPOSSIBLE!!! *unless it wasn't a serious relationship* not true my ex and I dated for a year and half and prior to it we were bestfriends for 2 years and we are still friends so it is possible . . . I don't see whats wrong about being friends with an ex anyway unless it ended on a sour note Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexxyme Posted March 15 Report Share Posted March 15 Originally posted by fierydesire not true my ex and I dated for a year and half and prior to it we were bestfriends for 2 years and we are still friends so it is possible . . . I don't see whats wrong about being friends with an ex anyway unless it ended on a sour note Honestly, I didn't have a lot of serious relationships, but the once that actually meant something to me, I just can't be friends with them. We have nothing to talk about, and I would not want to call them up and ask them about their gfs, or visa versa...so I dont know, that's just my personal opinion Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elementx Posted March 15 Report Share Posted March 15 Originally posted by sexxyme Honestly, I didn't have a lot of serious relationships, but the once that actually meant something to me, I just can't be friends with them. We have nothing to talk about, and I would not want to call them up and ask them about their gfs, or visa versa...so I dont know, that's just my personal opinion Funny thing is. My Ex and I get along more now then we ever did. And it seems we have so much to talk about. Then again we were always able to talk. But there is even more to talk about now then when we were together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted March 15 Report Share Posted March 15 Originally posted by sweetie029 I don't see the big deal in staying friends w/ ex's......it's not like you are going to see/speak to them all the time.......but to call every now & then to say hello/catch up on bs is ok......If you spent however much time w/ that person in a relationship there is no reason you can't be civil with them agreed. provided neither of the 2 had feelings anymore.. i am friends with some ex's of mine... some sorta serious relationships some kinda not at all.. some just hook ups.... but when there are feelings from one.. its IMPOSSIBLE. ive tried and tried and it just doesnt work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naughtybabe Posted March 15 Report Share Posted March 15 I dont know if its possible to have a good friendship with an ex. I think you can get to a point where if you see eachother you might be able to chit chat for a couple of minutes but nothing more. I recently spoke to my ex who I dated for a year an half and where broken up for two and it was not easy, it was really awkward and we did make peace but I will never be able to say his my friend.. We are just cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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