liquidflow Posted June 18 Report Share Posted June 18 Here's my situation. My ex-girlfriend and I were going out for about 2 1/2 yrs in high school and last yr we went to college and I decided to break things up(about feb.) because I couldnt deal with it and I was just changing. I really didnt think I loved her and we were just wasting each others time. So now school has ended and we have been hanging out alot. A couple weeks ago I was drunk and wound up hooking up with her, but then told her after that I dont think we can have a relationship still, Im pretty confused. She said, "do we just hook up because I was here or because there is still something". I said, "I like you, but I really dont know myself right now and I dont wanna bring you down with me" (Im kinda confused/depressed alot with school and life in genereal). When we broke up we told each other that we told the other when we found someone because it would be awkard to just be friends when we both have new bf/gf. So the days pass and I realize yesterday that she has been hanging out with this guy(an old friend from hs) and that she is prob. interested in him. So I ask her and she says she does like him and she is gonna start hooking up with him. Im kinda pissed that its my old friend and that she didnt tell me, I had to ask. And for some crazy reason I feel jelous. I was really pissed off and jelous and I have no right to be. Is it possible that I do love her and only realized it after I officially lost her? Has anyone else gone through getting really jelous when an ex you broke up with starts going out with other people? Sometimes I think I really fucked up things. Sorry for this big post, but I could really use some words of advice and some opinions. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted June 18 Report Share Posted June 18 cut it off--show her that you're pissed off, and that you don't want her around . That is, unless you want to try and be friends and work thru this. But i probably wouldn;t, cuz it hurts too much.Jealousy sucks, but it is a part of life. To counter-act that, just move away from the situation, and whenever you think of her, move away and think of something else... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollib Posted June 18 Report Share Posted June 18 Well, I think because she is interested in someone else is the reason you think you still want to be with her. I think when you know someone is always there, you take them for granted and the minute they are no longer so available is when you realize you want to be with them. I can see you feeling jealous but you and her are broken up so she has a right to do whatever she wants. Do you think you are being selfish here? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted June 18 Report Share Posted June 18 Originally posted by lollib Well, I think because she is interested in someone else is the reason you think you still want to be with her. I think when you know someone is always there, you take them for granted and the minute they are no longer so available is when you realize you want to be with them. I can see you feeling jealous but you and her are broken up so she has a right to do whatever she wants. Do you think you are being selfish here? Agreed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetie029 Posted June 18 Report Share Posted June 18 The jealousy thing is natural...But you have to take into consideration it's not HER fault you broke things off....The girl is moving on with her life...exploring options/different people...You should go out & do the same......I have a friendwho was going out w/ this girl for about 9 months...He broke it off w/ her for a lame reason & now 3 YEARS later he still has a picture of her & him in his room...Maybe you REALLY weren't ready to break up w/ her when you did...But everyone makes mistakes....Instead of dwelling on what WAS (which was you & her) go out & find yourself someone new..Learn from everything & move on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdancer Posted June 18 Report Share Posted June 18 I don't think your being fair to this girl. It seems like your the one with the issues and your just confusing her. Women don't like to wait around forever till you make up your mind. Now that she is finally interested in someone else you should let her be. You missed your window of oppurtunity, maybe its time that you move on and find someone new. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trancerxn112 Posted June 18 Report Share Posted June 18 is it possible that she is using him to get to you... playing the jealousy card... she shows you someone else in the picture and you instantly get jealous and want her back... mission accomplished... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liquidflow Posted June 18 Author Report Share Posted June 18 Originally posted by lollib Well, I think because she is interested in someone else is the reason you think you still want to be with her. I think when you know someone is always there, you take them for granted and the minute they are no longer so available is when you realize you want to be with them. I can see you feeling jealous but you and her are broken up so she has a right to do whatever she wants. Do you think you are being selfish here? Thats exactly what I think too. I talk her for granted and now that I dont have her as an option I feel alone and I am doubting my reasons why we broke up in the first place. Everytime I think I should just move on as well, I think maybe that she is the only one for me and I will not find another. I also see that I am being selfish and I kinda deserve this, but its really hard to let go of something that could of been perfect if i didn't fuck it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liquidflow Posted June 18 Author Report Share Posted June 18 Originally posted by trancerxn112 is it possible that she is using him to get to you... playing the jealousy card... she shows you someone else in the picture and you instantly get jealous and want her back... mission accomplished... Thats another thing. We have broken up twice before this but only for like a week(this has been like 5 months now). When we broke up the last time before this she started hanging out with the same guy she is now and then we got back together and she dropped him. Now she went back to him, so I asked if she was using him and she was like "I got to know him better and I like him. Last time I didn't get to know him that well..He is nice to me and is always telling me how good I look ect........I liked you a lot but I decided that know matter how much I like you, you never like me back as much and I just wanna be with someone who loves everything about me" I really didn't know what to say to that, because after almost 3 yrs of dating I forgot the basics of compliments and stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trancerxn112 Posted June 18 Report Share Posted June 18 Originally posted by liquidflow Thats another thing. We have broken up twice before this but only for like a week(this has been like 5 months now). When we broke up the last time before this she started hanging out with the same guy she is now and then we got back together and she dropped him. Now she went back to him, so I asked if she was using him and she was like "I got to know him better and I like him. Last time I didn't get to know him that well..He is nice to me and is always telling me how good I look ect........I liked you a lot but I decided that know matter how much I like you, you never like me back as much and I just wanna be with someone who loves everything about me" I really didn't know what to say to that, because after almost 3 yrs of dating I forgot the basics of compliments and stuff. wouldnt be the first time a girl has used ego against us... something about penis envy im not a psychologist ask lynne... aka LinaBina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted June 18 Report Share Posted June 18 Originally posted by trancerxn112 wouldnt be the first time a girl has used ego against us... something about penis envy im not a psychologist ask lynne... aka LinaBina LOL- that's not penis envy! Penis envy is when a woman wishes she were a man (or, what Freud overlooked, when a woman wishes she had all the rights and privileges that a man does). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atomicapples Posted June 18 Report Share Posted June 18 you dont know what you hve until you lose it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naughtybabe Posted June 18 Report Share Posted June 18 What's meant to be will be... Try to just focus on getting your life together and once thats done try to figure out your feelings, for all you know you could yet again be confused.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bodiii Posted June 18 Report Share Posted June 18 don't waste her time...don't waste your time...don't waste braincells thinkin about all this blah blah...move on...have a good time...plus... its summer... everyones wearin less clothes... :D :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaysersoze Posted June 20 Report Share Posted June 20 Originally posted by liquidflow Here's my situation. My ex-girlfriend and I were going out for about 2 1/2 yrs in high school and last yr we went to college and I decided to break things up(about feb.) because I couldnt deal with it and I was just changing. I really didnt think I loved her and we were just wasting each others time. So now school has ended and we have been hanging out alot. A couple weeks ago I was drunk and wound up hooking up with her, but then told her after that I dont think we can have a relationship still, Im pretty confused. She said, "do we just hook up because I was here or because there is still something". I said, "I like you, but I really dont know myself right now and I dont wanna bring you down with me" (Im kinda confused/depressed alot with school and life in genereal). When we broke up we told each other that we told the other when we found someone because it would be awkard to just be friends when we both have new bf/gf. So the days pass and I realize yesterday that she has been hanging out with this guy(an old friend from hs) and that she is prob. interested in him. So I ask her and she says she does like him and she is gonna start hooking up with him. Im kinda pissed that its my old friend and that she didnt tell me, I had to ask. And for some crazy reason I feel jelous. I was really pissed off and jelous and I have no right to be. Is it possible that I do love her and only realized it after I officially lost her? Has anyone else gone through getting really jelous when an ex you broke up with starts going out with other people? Sometimes I think I really fucked up things. Sorry for this big post, but I could really use some words of advice and some opinions. Thanks first off.... sorry if i sound like a wet blanket... u two got together 'after' the fact that u got drunk??? can u say...uumm..."booty call?"its simple really..... u got drunk, and the most juicy girl in u r sights was u r ex. its not really really that u were in love, u just happened to be in lust induced by u r intoxication, happens to all of us. my advice,...get over it... its a death trap. be greatful u didnt get her knocked up. THEN..u r life would really be over.best remedy... try telling her the shit u spewed at her when u were drunk...if she replies the same, then u are a winner, if not...RUN for ze hills !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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