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THINGS YOU MUST BELIEVE iN ORDER TO BE A REPUBLICAN


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Incase it wasn't posted already....

THINGS YOU MUST BELIEVE iN ORDER TO BE A REPUBLICAN

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1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a

conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers

for your recovery.

2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our

highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

3. Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money

But crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of

illness.

4. "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving

their jobs to India.

5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but

multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind

without regulation.

6. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary

Clinton.

7. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in

speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

8. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for

governor of California as a Republican.

9. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

10. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies,

then demand their cooperation and money.

11. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public

at heart.

12. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing

health care to all Americans is socialism.

13. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but

creationism should be taught in schools.

14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's

daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and

a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable

offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which

thousands die is solid defense policy.

16. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the

Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the

Internet.

17. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but

George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

18. You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John

Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the

right to adopt.

19. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest,

but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

20. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade

with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

If you don't send this to at least 10 people, we're likely to be stuck

with Bush for 4 more years. Friends don't let friends vote Republican.

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21. Say "I could care less about what other countries think about us" and then complain about us not being welcomed with open arms in those countries. ("they are just jealous of us!")

22. Say the market knows best and "its all about trickle down economics" when it comes to raising the minimum wage, but quickly bail out the airlines when they hit a rough spot.

23. Believe that a petty non violent criminal should be locked away for 20 years, so when he comes out he rapes, robs, and murders your ass because thats what he learned by observing the prison guards.

24. Believe that you are fit to be a fine president if you are simply a "good man"

25. Believe that if you disagree with GW Bush then you are unpatriotic.

26. Believe that the CEO's that move their corporate HQ's to the Dutch Antilles to pay less taxes are great American heroes, and are true patriots.

27. Believe that the burden of taxation should be on the middle class, because "overtaxing business will stop the trickle down effect"

28. Believe that it is a paramount priority to sound tax policy that those that make $600,000 a year be awarded a child tax credit, because it is a horrific injustice that they currently are not eligible.

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bush 04! he is taking the lead now and will soon be president once again! all these hollywood elitist cant do shit and they are trying thier ass off too. its gonna be great when he wins and they all bitch for another four years!! cant wait till november!

I am gonna laugh even more when Bush gets re-elected and your ass gets drafted. You may not be aware of it but this is being discussed between current admin and the Pentagon.

Have fun voting for Bush and then fighting a war over his oil

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7. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in

speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

The raise for all special duty pay, including Cobat pay, will be instated in about a month or so... We are also getting a base pay raise within the next 6 months...

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bush 04! he is taking the lead now and will soon be president once again! all these hollywood elitist cant do shit and they are trying thier ass off too. its gonna be great when he wins and they all bitch for another four years!! cant wait till november!

are you:

a) living outside this country

B) extremely rich

c) extremely religious

d) barbara bush

e) oblivious of what is going on in the world

is there one thing that i should be happy about that this dude accomplished?

point it out to me, because i can't figure it out

:)

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Rachel ahahahaha and Bush makes his own decisions???? Hi I can't take a piss without Dick Cheny checking our Haliburton bank account this month.

People need to wake up! In the words of MAXI JAZZ of FAITHLESS

Whether HALLIBUTON OR ENRON GREED IS MASS DESTRUCTION

John Kerry .............war hero, advocate for veterans and I believe truly cares about what happens to this country and it's people.

George Bush..........Puppet for big business, murderer and liar.

Nuff Said time for a change.

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are you:

a) living outside this country

B) extremely rich

c) extremely religious

d) barbara bush

e) oblivious of what is going on in the world

is there one thing that i should be happy about that this dude accomplished?

point it out to me, because i can't figure it out

:)

you left out "extremely high" :tongue:

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