misskittie Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 How do you get them to stop loving you and caring about you and just be friends? Is this at all possible or must you constantly walk around egg shells by them???------------------~*~* HAPPY HUMP DAY ~*~* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copleyc Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 wish I had half your luck. mine won't even speak to me (and it was a year ago that we split...)------------------You'll have to excuse me now.... I feel it coming on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted August 30 Author Report Share Posted August 30 Im at the point where I wish my ex wouldnt speak to me. Im never happy when hes around unless Im drunk orfucked up in some way. So then everything I feel as to happiness by him is fake. Yet he loves me dearly and cant seem to get the idea in his head that all I want to be is friends. ------------------~*~* HAPPY HUMP DAY ~*~* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachel1997 Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 I got the same problem...... back the fuck off when I say no I don't want to see ya right now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rally Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 Originally posted by misskittie:How do you get them to stop loving you and caring about you and just be friends? Is this at all possible or must you constantly walk around egg shells by them???if you broke up with them ... forget it! My ex left me and i won't even speak to her now ... good luckmaybe after the passage of time ... maybe------------------Rallythere is an afterlife Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j303j Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 You can't be friends right away it never ever works give it time keep away from each other then maybe you could be friends.------------------ALWAYS ORIGINATE NEVER PIRATE......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buccafm Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 So then don't hang around him misskittie? Or do ya'll have the same group of friends and everyone hangs out together???It's gotta be tough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doubledown11 Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 I definately think walking on eggshells. I've had a similar problem. If the person still cares deeply for you and you don't, they are the ones who need to keep their distance until they can fully come to terms with the new situation. I would think they would eventually come around if given the opportunity. After all being friends is better than nothing at all. And if at one time you were a couple, then that person can can still be your best friend to talk to becuase they would know you better than anyone else.------------------Double-Down<A HREF="/cgi-bin/redir.cgi?url=http://www.geocities.com/doubledown_xtc"" TARGET=_blank>www.geocities.com/doubledown_xtc</A> double-down@mad.scientist.com It is not death if you refuse it...The Crow (The original graphic novel) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djchris Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 Were they good to you. Do they really love you. Love hurts, It sucks to love, the feeling of love is the best drug and when love isn't around you wish you had more of it. The question to you is Do you know this person loves you the way he/she does. Why are you making this person suffer? Just curious------------------It's all in the music Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowchaser Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 You've got the same problem too huh? All my ex's don't speak to me except one...grrrr. She won't leave me alone. In fact she still emails me, instant messages me, and calls me on the phone. This bitch nearly destroyed me. Now she says that she cleaned her self up, and wants a second chance. Yeah...right. ------------------Come together and try to make a better world. - Crystal Method shadowchaser076@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2basics Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 I just moved to the other side of the world.. easy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted August 30 Author Report Share Posted August 30 Originally posted by buccafm:So then don't hang around him misskittie? Or do ya'll have the same group of friends and everyone hangs out together???It's gotta be tough. Well I have no choice other than to hang out with him b/c we share ALLLL our friends. Its disgusting. We frequent the same clubs, go t the same restaurants and so on and so on....My sistuation is a lot worse too....He lives in my house b/c he got thrown out of his and has no money and no where else to go. Now I allowed him to stay at my house thinking it would only be for a week or 2. Now its over a month and its driving me crazy. I havent the heart to throw him out. I cant do that because as much as I love him and care about him and Im not in love with him but I worry about him. I want him as a friend b/c I value the friendship he brings and the fun we have. But Im sick of him trying to cross the line and fuck with my head. Its crazy!!!Hes even the reason I havent had an horizontal fun in the last 2 months. Whats that called....cock blocker???------------------~*~* HAPPY HUMP DAY ~*~* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keorim Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 Although I'm sure you don't want to risk losing him as a friend, you need to give your ex a chance to heal and flush out those romantic feelings for you. Hanging out with you will make that very difficult, because even if he knows in his head that it's over, emotions have a tendency to act according to their own rules. I'd say keep a little distance, at least for a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lightinggirl Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 ouch.....did the "ex" thing last night.....distance and time usually heals all....if it can be healed......just remember, what's meant to be will be....you can't force anything.........good luck, miss kittie...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted August 30 Author Report Share Posted August 30 I cant keep distance when he sleeps down the hall in MY house. Kind of hard when the situation is the way it is. I want my space. I want to watch TV and not have him next to me. I want to go outside and smoke a ciggarette without him being there. I want to talk on the phone without him following me. I want to go out without someone questioning me. God I feel like Im losing my mind with this situation. I cant even talk to him. I dont know. ITs just hard.------------------~*~* HAPPY HUMP DAY ~*~* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djchris Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 Originally posted by misskittie:I cant keep distance when he sleeps down the hall in MY house. Kind of hard when the situation is the way it is. I want my space. I want to watch TV and not have him next to me. I want to go outside and smoke a ciggarette without him being there. I want to talk on the phone without him following me. I want to go out without someone questioning me. God I feel like Im losing my mind with this situation. I cant even talk to him. I dont know. ITs just hard.Hun - Then you gotta let him go. You have to do something if this is how you feel. Or you're gonna end up like me. Miserable. ------------------It's all in the music Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divvalicious Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 If hes really in love with you then he wont want to be friends. He will be too hurt...So u will have to be prepared to lose him completely for a while and then maybe if enough time goes by and he moves on, maybe then u could be friends------------------~Music Is The Answer~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rally Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 Originally posted by djchris: Hun - Then you gotta let him go. You have to do something if this is how you feel. Or you're gonna end up like me. Miserable. I agree ... you gotta get him out - nicely - somehow in a polite way. You have to ... or else forget it!------------------Rallythere is an afterlife Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kramadas Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 Yeah MsKittie, I think the best solution is to tell him to move out. You see, if he's still in love with you, and wants to get back together, he can use anything (even without knowing it consciously) to try get close to you. So, unless you say something he's NOT going to move out of your apt (in my opinion). Its kinda hard not to see him if you have the same friends tho! Maybe if you did start seeing another guy or had fun with someone else he might get the message - harsh but necessary!------------------Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soulshaker Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 Originally posted by djchris:Were they good to you. Do they really love you. Love hurts, It sucks to love, the feeling of love is the best drug and when love isn't around you wish you had more of it. The question to you is Do you know this person loves you the way he/she does. Why are you making this person suffer? Just curious--------------------------------------------You just said a mouthful chris. It really is a drug. How else can you explain something that can make you not eat for days, walk around like a zombie, and feel suicidal if you can't have it? kittie, love may have too strong of a hold on your ex. I know it's got me.------------------do what i want to do, say what i want to say, be what i want to be....free[This message has been edited by soulshaker (edited 08-30-2000).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sgbrooklyn Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 kitten darlin' trust me... Some guys you would ba able to stay friends with but others you just can't. My Ex for instance... I saw him last weekend for the first time in 6 months. You would think he wouldnt care to see me. right? well wrong he walks up to me tells me how great I look and I smile of course... And give him a kiss on the cheek and he gives me this bear hug and smells my kneck...Now I had mixed feelings about the moment I was a little tipsy but I knew exactly who this person was smelling my kneck .. it was a very tender smell and brought back nice memories... But then I snapped out of it.. and realised I didn't love him at ALL anymore.. and simply walked out of the bar.. and called the guy I left behind on his cell phone to meet me outside.. Hahahah! That was funny.. I just didn't want my ex to catch me.. Even though the guy I was with was just a friend he would have definatly took it the wrong way.... So Miss Kitten some guys you just can't and YES you have to walk on eggshells... if you really care for that person that is. Otherwise F it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eggmok Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 ouch . . .i don't even want to think about it . . . do you hear that psycho music playing . . .enk enk enk enk . . .---------------------------------------------Life is too short to be small. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted August 30 Author Report Share Posted August 30 I want to be free and get my happiness back. He drains me and pulls me down. Because of this situation I am not the person I can be. Im not as care free b/c I dont want to deal with his mouth.But if I throw him out, he has nowhere to go. His family wont let him move back home and he has no friends to move with. This is the ONLY reason I cant tell him to leave. Im one of those people who if I see a stray animal, Ill ppick it up until I can find it a home. So, its a dilema.------------------~*~* HAPPY HUMP DAY ~*~* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mozgi Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 Once you love/fuck - there is no more friends. Especially if you do the "ex thing" a couple of times where each one of you messes with the others head. Shit, my ex lived with the other guy for about 2 years and kept coming over my house about 1-2 a week for a little sheet soiling. Drove me up the wall. I loved her - she kept fucking with my head.I know very limited number of people who remained friends after break up. I don't understand people who want to be friends with the old flings. Too tiresome and you always risk exposing the skeletons in the closet. Move on. Kittie – it is egg shells for a long while. If you want him as your friend – don’t go horizontal with him. After that it will be “egg shells on ice” for life.My 0.02 cents.------------------mozgi_*_**_**_Dance f*ck dance Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted August 30 Author Report Share Posted August 30 I havent gone "horizontal" with him in about 2 months...and noone else for that matter b/c I cant get close to anyone with his presence around. I told him friends an he keeps telling me that Im just afraid to admit my feelings .... whatever that means. I know how I feel but I know I cant be with him for many many reasons!------------------~*~* HAPPY HUMP DAY ~*~* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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