Girlfriends and Clubs

[petp]

man thats a loooong post......

agree with evilfixation, if u dont trust her, then its time to rethink some things.

her dancing with another guy isnt wrong in itself though...it all depends on how far the dancing goes and who this guy is that she's dancing with.

and yes, i agree with you, there are TOO MANY guys out there that have no respect and will make moves on other peoples girls.

[emcee25]

Kick her to the curb....just imagne what she does when you guys aren't out together....makes you wonder huh? If you constantly have to watch her and second guess her actions then she's not worth it; not only that, but it must ruin your night kepping your eyes peeled for her and what she's doing. You stated that you've told her how it makes you feel and she still danced with other guys and let them touch her...in my eyes that's like spitting in your face and her basically telling you "i don't care how it makes you feel, i am gonna do it anyway!" And about her hookin' up while you were there with her....c'mon guy, open up your eyes...she's playin' you...move on to bigger and better things. You seem like a sincere, trustful, commited person....you deserve better than that! I have a lot of friends (guys/girls) that are major players and they pull the same exact stunts she's pullin.' Did you ever hear the saying "love is blind"...move on, you'll feel a lot better about yourself when you find someone to love and go out with and not have to worry about what she's doing, who she's with, and where she's going!

[gnice]

Originally posted by shadowchaser:

dump the bitch...

Best response so far!!!!!!!!

[blueangel]

The whole point shouldn’t be where YOU should draw the line but it should be where SHE draws it. After talking to her the first time, she should of known better and I’m not talking about being a good girl for the next couple of times you guys go out either. IF this is true love then you should be her main focus at all time.

As for lacking self-confidence . . . if you tell her and let her know how beautiful she is then that’s all the proof and satisfaction that she should need . . . again this is IF it’s LOVE.

From what I’ve read YOU need to reiterate your feeling about how you feel and she needs to choose if she wants to play or stay in a real relationship. Cause my woman’s instinct tells me that you’re girlfriend is not done playing around . . . her flirting with guys have NOTHING to do with lack of self-confidence. Talk it out now before you invest more of your emotions into this relationship.

BlueAngel

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“Maturity is when you stop doing the things you make excuses for and stop making excuses for the things you need to do." -Unknown

[evilfixation]

the sad thing is i am talking from experience. I trusted someone and ignored the signs that my trust was being abused. I said no she would never do that go there or be that way but the funny thing is if she is showing signs of it and totally ignores your plea that it bothers u then she isnt thinking of u at all. She is being selfish and in any relationship that has a selfish individual that to that extent will cause heartache as well as headache and stress. U have to see this. They say love is blind, it also blinds u from noticing the truth about something that u dont want to know

i think u wouldnt be asking the question if u didnt already know the answer

[nickijay]

oh, and just from a female perspective, if you ever get that nagging feeling that something "just ain't right" then it ain't...it's called intuition. we women have it and you guys do too....listen to it!!

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Boink like a snow bunny!!!

uknj@aol.com

[sarahb53]

I always go to clubs with my boyfriend and I would NEVER ever touch another guy. Neither would my boyfriend. That is purely disrespectful and it makes you look like an idiot. You should definately talk to her. If it bothers you, than she should be considerate enough that she wouldn't do stuff like that. If you don't say anything, she will continue. If she does continue even after you talk to her, then she doesn't take your feelings into consideration. A relationship goes two ways. Just because you are messed up is NO excuse. You still know what you are doing.

[yuhwoo]

Originally posted by apotheosis:

Some people share.

hahahahha. no to make light of this post, but that comment made me giggle.

as far as this situation goes...both you and your girl need to know what eachother's limits are. every relationship is different and people are different. what one person can tolerate, another person can't. your gf should know what your limits are and respect that. if something makes you uncomfortable or puts your trust on the line, then she needs to re-evaluate what's important to her - and vice versa.

i also agree with blueangel - if you reassure her of how beautiful you think she is and how much she means to you, then she doesn't need to look elsewhere to boost her self-confidence. that's a poor excuse to justify her behavior.

trust your gut - if it feels wrong, it probably is.

[jasonct5]

I don't know if someone said this already or not cuz everybody's post is pretty long but I think you've got a little problem about communication. Its obviously bothering you but to her you shrug it off and say its alright. You have to really tell here its bothering you a lot. It isn't cool what she's doing and you shouldn't have to "watch" her. To ask her not to dance with other guys isn't being possesive or controlling at all if thats what your worried about. If it were my gf it would eat me up inside if I didn't say anything and it seems like it would ruin your night. Hope these post help you out. You definetly have to tell her.

[duckets]

hey just don't be a pushover. I too agree that it's disrespectful to you to let other guys touch her, let alone dance with her. and I also agree that there's a lack of communication. And I'm not sure if anyone mentioned this already, but if you have to worry about her constantly, than the problem lies more in you than it does in her. You have to be secure, and trust her. If you feel secure, and she still winds up hooking up with some random guy, the guilt is with her. Not you. You should't feel hesitant to ask her to be faithful, I thought that was a requirement of a committed relationship! And you definitely shouldn't ruin your night or your roll by having to keep a close eye on her for fear that she might cheat. Talk to her, but say more than you not wanting her to hook up woth other guys, tell her that it upsets you. Let her know that you won't tolerate it again, not even if she says that she didn't mean for it to happen. you deserve equal respect.

Whew, that took a lot out of me. Now if only I could fix my problems.

Good luck kid.

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"A witty saying proves nothing."

-Voltaire

[Guest jesuki1]

this is a tough one.

when i go out clubbing and i'm rolling, i'm super friendly, giving/getting backrubs, talking to everyone around me. my boyfriend has no problem with this because he trusts me, and my friendliness isn't flirting, but just that, FRIENDLINESS.

even when i'm really out of it, i'm still aware of the difference between a friendly touch and a come-on. and when a guy tries to kiss me or put his hands where they shouldn't be, i'm out of there.

i used to wonder why so many guys i talked to, or even gave hand-rubs to, worried about whether i had a boyfriend or where he was. i thought - why worry? we're not doing anything bad. we're talking and rolling and hanging out. but i guess some people have a very different experience.

i'm sorry if your girlfriend needs to get attention in the wrong way to boost her self-esteem. my self-esteem from strangers comes from when a guy i'm talking to says to my boyfriend, "hey man, your girlfriend is a really nice person!" i don't need guys in clubs touching me inappropriately to feel sexy or cool.

there is a wrong way and a right way to get admiration from strangers, and if it's not something that you're comfortable with, you guys need to have a talk. like other posters have said, COMMUNICATE! as well, stand up for yourself and what you believe in and what you're comfortable with! just b/c another boyfriend of hers could deal with this kind of behavior doesn't make it ok for you two.

when you both go out, you deserve to enjoy yourselves and not worry. good luck!

[xxallottaxx]

D U M P her...and D U M P her fast.-Bronx

tale. -Nuff said.

Susie

[saintjsc]

get rid of her

2 words:

CRACK WHORE.

[bratnik]

I cant believe your questioning this. This girl obviously has no respect for you.

[djmikedr]

I'm honestly surprised no one has any thoughts about what I said about being respectful and just asking.

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aim: djmikedr

DJmikeDR@aol.com

[momadance]

you dug your own hole here man. you say that you wewnt even together for a month and you had her X for her first time and took her to exit. Oh dear, thats tradgic. then you didnt set any guidelins or anything and you doidit even realize what she was fealing and going thriugh for the first time. then you say that your are already in love with her??? It has only been a few months here, slow down junior.

Irving Welch (the author of Trainspoting) has writen many books on love, ectasy, chemical love and natural love. Everyone should know the difference. Next time(because this one you messed up already), my advice would be to wait untill the natural love is there before you add chemical love into the mix.

Peace,

Michael

P.S. and keep everyone you love away from exit

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"Puff, Puff, Pass"

[liz999]

I make things easy on myself and my boyfriend, we go out separately. I don't know what he does and he doesn't know what I do. We have faith in each other, he could dance with hother girls but I don't need to see it but I know he will never go futher than that.