NIKILINA007 Posted February 1 Report Share Posted February 1 my new boyfriend of only three months thinks we should take a "few days off".... things have been a bit bumpy for the last two weeks, and now he questions if he can "give the relationship all it deserves"... told me he'd call me sat and fill me in on what he has concluded during his "thinking time"... he is 8 years older then i, is he being mature about it, or is he being a dick?i need advice... my face hurts from crying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudeboyyouth Posted February 1 Report Share Posted February 1 You might want to consider the age difference...it all depends on how old you are. If you're a very young girl, then he is most likely sick of you since he has already fucked you numerous times. He probably feels as if he is doing something wrong and wants to slow it down a bit. He might feel a bit strange that you are a younger girl that might be hounding him constantly, if you are doing that. That is quite an age gap, and the reasons could be endless. But with such a gap, he is most likely at a different stage in life than you are, which has much to do with it, regardless of how deeply in love you may think the two of you are. Especially if you are still in your early/mid teens...he most likely feels a bit strange about it, and he wants to end it as soon as possible, rather than make this one drawn out, idiotic situation. If you are a more mature girl, say late teens/20's, then......He is sick of you, or is probably going to be a future father. [This message has been edited by rudeboyyouth (edited 02-01-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tranza Posted February 1 Report Share Posted February 1 ( * )( * )------------------..It Wasn't Me.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tyco Posted February 1 Report Share Posted February 1 Well nikilina......let me give this a shot......I don't think he's being a dick, although I don't think he's being very mature either......first off, when your in a relationship with someone, you should always be thinking about it.....that is, evaluating it constantly to be sure you're doing the best for yourself and your partner........therefore, I don't think he should come out and tell you he is going to start thinking things over.......to me that either means....1) He doesn't think about the relationship any other time.......2) He doesn't want to tell what he really wants to tell you so suddenly........he probably knows what he wants he just wants to tell you this to give you a warning so when he tells you what he really feels you already had a few days to prepare yourself for it.......Of course, this could be way off cause I don't know the guy so it's hard to analyze this but I've seen this situation, and been in it many times and that is always the case........bottom line, if you need to "think about" if you want to be with someone, the odds are you shouldn't be in the relationship.......it defeats the purpose of what most relationships are based on, and that is love........anyhow, I hope this is somewhat helpful and I hope I haven't upset you further.......just giving you my honest opinion........btw, I saw your picture and your gorgeous (please don't take that the wrong way)........keep your head up......Mikey------------------"Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger"[This message has been edited by tyco (edited 02-01-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeydollaz Posted February 1 Report Share Posted February 1 i think that means you can except my dinner offer finally ! ------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeydollaz Posted February 1 Report Share Posted February 1 Originally posted by nikilina: my face hurts from crying.awwwwwwwww , babe , you're way tooo pretty , you should neevr cry ! ------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glowgirl Posted February 1 Report Share Posted February 1 SweetieI just had this happen to me about a month ago!And the reason was, was that we were getting too close and that's not what he wanted!Even tho he likes me and thinks i'm cool and fun to be with, a girlfriend is not what he wanted!Take this as a sign that you need to move on, why be with someone that can't make up their mind! Don't sit around and wait it won't help! You don't need to go thru this every other month! Your better than that!Brighter days are coming!------------------Hi! How ya doing? where ya been, I had thoughts of you all night long. Can't describe what you did, but you got me so!Aolimer: Glowgirl42000Email: Sugar4@earthlink.net Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2basics- Posted February 1 Report Share Posted February 1 Hey listen, it would seem that it's a case of letting her down easy. I may be wrong but i know lots of guys who use lines like that as an easy way out.It's always difficult to say when all you know is a few sentances. But what he is saying is all very vague.--------------------------------------------Listen speaking from my experiance that age differance doesn't work. Your both at different stages in life and it's hard for him to keep a balance as he has been through most of what you have years before. This is what i found in may last relationship and the age differance wasn't that great.This guy may be the best thing in the world to you at the moment but as they say there are plenty more fish in the sea (which may not be what you want to here but it is true).Everything always works out for the best. Hope everything works out, and always remember what the Monty Python guys said...Some things in life are bad, They can really make you mad, Other things just make you swear and curse, When you're chewing your life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle, And this'll help things turn out for the best, Always look on the bright side of life. [whistling] Always look on the light side of life. [whistling] If life seems jolly rotten, There's something you've forgotten, And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing. When you're feeling in the dumps, Don't be silly chumps. Just purse your lips and whistle. That's the thing. And, always look on the bright side of life. [whistling] Always look on the right side of life, [whistling] For life is quite absurd And death's the final word. You must always face the curtain with a bow. Forget about your sin. Give the audience a grin. Enjoy it. It's your last chance, anyhow. So, always look on the bright side of death, [whistling] Just before you draw your terminal breath. [whistling] Life's a piece of shit, When you look at it. Life's a laugh and death's a joke. It's true. You'll see it's all a show. Keep 'em laughing as you go. Just remember that the last laugh is on you. And, always look on the bright side of life. ------------------I want to go out blazing..not fade away.When the party was in progress and unidentified frequency has been existing in the system for some time - Freak Frequency Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dolcemimi Posted February 1 Report Share Posted February 1 NICK - how old areyou ? how old is your BF ? Was the sex good ? Maybe he's feeling suffocated. What's upw/ these older men playing little girls like violin ? I got played by an older guy 7 yrs. older. He told me I was too young. I think he's feeling tied down to something he doesn't want or maybe it's pressure. Cut the beast loose ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkFloyd40 Posted February 2 Report Share Posted February 2 it means..don't sleep w/ the pizza girl(or guy in this case) -Rob------------------"People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they never use" -Soren Kierkegaard"People who know little are usually great talkers, while men who know much say little." -Rousseau"One must learn to be a sponge if one wants to be loved by hearts that overflow." -Frederich Neitzsche 2-Brandie&Rob-11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIKILINA007 Posted February 2 Author Report Share Posted February 2 here's the problem... i really like him. and up until this point i thought he felt the same.. i always held the upper hand in the realtionship, i feel like this is his way of trying to take the lead or something. MEN! THEY DRIVE ME FUCKING NUTS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathyo Posted February 2 Report Share Posted February 2 It's hard to say. A while ago I would say that it's not worth it but...I had a conversation recently with my current boyfriend that changed my mind about this sort of situation. We were talking about ex's that we had, and apparently he had a time that he told a girl he was with that he thought they should take a short break. Same thing as you, things had been rocky. Well, during their break she got involved with another guy (I guess she assumed the thing that I used to and thought it was over). He was devastated. He really didn't want things to end. I guess my point is, don't make any rash decisions. Maybe he does just need some time. Maybe time will make him realize how much you mean to him! I know it's hard, I wouldn't deal with that situation well. Just hang in there. It's something that you are going to have to figure out on your own unfortunately. I really hope things work out for you.------------------ A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to it's old dimensions.~*~*~Don't use time or words carelessly, neither can be retrieved.~*~*~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2basics- Posted February 2 Report Share Posted February 2 Originally posted by cathyo:It's hard to say. A while ago I would say that it's not worth it but...I had a conversation recently with my current boyfriend that changed my mind about this sort of situation. We were talking about ex's that we had, and apparently he had a time that he told a girl he was with that he thought they should take a short break. Same thing as you, things had been rocky. Well, during their break she got involved with another guy (I guess she assumed the thing that I used to and thought it was over). He was devastated. He really didn't want things to end. I guess my point is, don't make any rash decisions. Maybe he does just need some time. Maybe time will make him realize how much you mean to him! I know it's hard, I wouldn't deal with that situation well. Just hang in there. It's something that you are going to have to figure out on your own unfortunately. I really hope things work out for you.That's all well and good but what does 'lets take a break' mean to most people.. lets split up.. so to be fair it was bad wording or there was no explanation or dialog to go further than saying lets take a break.I think there can be some great benafit from not seeing each other for a while (absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that), but don't JUST say lets take a break and leave it like that. IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melichacha Posted February 2 Report Share Posted February 2 I think I have to go with Mikey on this one... If the thing is that he DOES want to figure out how to break it off, he's trying to take it slowly b/c either 1. He's a sadistic creep who wants to see you squirm... (probably NOT the case, but I had to put it out there)2. He does know you're a cool gil and he doesn't want to hurt you, so he's trying to ease into it...Either way, know that it's HIS issue -- maybe he just can't handle being really close really soon... he could just be scared. Either way, try not to stress it... like that professor character in Candide said, "things happen for a reason, and you live in the best of all possible worlds" -- in my words, life's too short! - meli - ------------------ AIM: MeliChaCha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
furnace Posted February 2 Report Share Posted February 2 B2B...great quote... Nikilina:Like Mikey sed, none of us know him, but as a guy, such words can have many meanings.Basically, if you've been having a couple of rough weeks, it probably got to a point where he realized that you weren't what he wanted. RBY is right: if he's 8 yrs older, he's probably at a different point in his life and found that out during the rough couple of weeks.I also agree with Mikey...you shouldn't need to think about a relationship abstractly...it's not a thing to take a step back from. It's something you live or you don't. If he has to "conclude" something, it just seems really calculated...love <> economics...not a cost benefit analysis...I could throw some cliche's at you here, but I'm sure you know'em. Think about it this way...cliches are such since they are true and bear repeating. I'm sure you've lived through a few yourself, I know I have.BTW, you're from Philly? What are some good places to go there? I'm sorta from the area, but haven't been back in years and years. When I'm back these days, I'm visiting old buddies...would love to get them into clubbing.-D------------------ [This message has been edited by furnace (edited 02-01-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonygmo Posted February 2 Report Share Posted February 2 Originally posted by back2basics-:...but as they say there are plenty more fish in the sea (which may not be what you want to here but it is true).If there are so many fish in the sea, how come I haven't dated any of them in over a year?! Damn I feel like a loser. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest crystalmethodny Posted February 2 Report Share Posted February 2 NikiIm sorry babyI think women suck tooWhy dont we just finally get together and make it happen? All these years... the intensity... the drama... the wondering? LOL------------------"We're going to build things up slowly... are you with me? Here we go.""I think of you, how I used to do on Sunday Afternoons."www.extremegroove.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sinthetik Posted February 2 Report Share Posted February 2 here i was ready to reply that a break is needed after a weekend of hard partying and your way too cracked out to even think about dropping again - goes to show you where my mind is.......yes, im a crackhead.(i hope this at least put a smile on yer face )------------------Pac Man Fever..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickijay Posted February 2 Report Share Posted February 2 Originally posted by tonygmo: If there are so many fish in the sea, how come I haven't dated any of them in over a year?! Damn I feel like a loser. oh, and try not to be too sad, you're way too pretty to be pining after a man who doesn't know how good he's got it...it may hurt right now but someone else will come along and sweep you off your feet!!------------------ [img]http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/Midfield/6432/jumpdei.gif' alt='jumpdei.gif'> Boink like a snow bunny!!!uknj@aol.com[This message has been edited by uknjx2 (edited 02-01-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nycetouch Posted February 2 Report Share Posted February 2 "if you love something, let it go, if it comes back......" you know how it goes.B2B hit it on the mark, let go of him, both of you need to reevaluate what you've had. If he tries to run back, you got the power. Plus there's like thirty guyz from this board that would go all the way to Philly to take you out on a date. I would too, if I didnt have a g'friend. (maybe I should tell her we need to take a break, ahhhh? j/k)------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicbeat Posted February 2 Report Share Posted February 2 "let's take a break" means the relationship is over, he's no longer interested and that you should let go, move on, and have funanyone who truly loves you would never say something like that--even it it's just a power play,,,would you say something like that to someone you love???? NOPEmy ex told me "oh, i don't want to have sex anymore",,,which turned out to mean "Im breaking up with you" which is what she did.Forget about this guy, take the loss and move on. You're very pretty anyway so u won't have any problem making up for this,,trust me Nikilinain the game of love u come out the winner when u can take ur loss, brush urself off, and move on On to the next one!!!! Good luck--oh and don't waste any emotions over him 'cause he's certainly not wasting any over you---trust me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuteboobie Posted February 2 Report Share Posted February 2 listen sweetie...i really didnt read what anyone else said..but here is my advice...the exact thing happened to me...my ex was 7 yrs older than me...and two months into a relationship he said we needed a break and me being the stupid naive girl that i was, i said ok and when he came back in a week or so, i didnt even question him...two months later he pulled the same shit and again i practically let him...so i pretended things were ok and meanwhile he was fucking some other ugly chicks...and still i was stupid and when he came back to me i welcomed him with open arms...i wasted almost a year with this loser but finally i understood my mistakes and dumped his sorry ass...but u wanna know what...i am still paying for his mistakes...so sorry if i sound a little bitter...and i really hope that ur bf isnt doing the same thing to u...but be careful and dont let him be in control...if u dont want a break then tell him so....girls have all the power!!!!------------------never frown....u dont know when someone is falling in love with ur smile... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djmikedr Posted February 2 Report Share Posted February 2 take a break = tired of sex with you / see what else is out there.just a possibility.[This message has been edited by apotheosis (edited 02-01-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jolie1 Posted February 2 Report Share Posted February 2 honey,most likely the guy doesnt know what he wants. if things havent been going that great with you guys then its possible he wants to see who else is out there. give him a week and then call him (you've got nothing to lose) and if he hasnt decided by then, fuck him, go find someone that will treat you better than that =)good luck!!jolie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aphelion Posted February 2 Report Share Posted February 2 Tend to agree with everything said here.. but you probably do too. You wouldn't be crying if you didn't know what he meant. Being the one to get dumped (even "let off easy") sucks big-time...Side note: listen to Nada Surf's "Popular." I'm sure everyone will cheer you up tomorrow at the meet-up! [This message has been edited by aphelion (edited 02-01-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.