CHEATING.................

[glowgirl]

I was watching a movie with my mom and these ppl found out that their spouses died and they were cheating with each other so I asked MOM. " what would you do if you found out your DEAD husband was CHEATING on you"! She said " I dig his ass up and kill him all over again". Just wanted to share that with you!

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Good time had by all!!!

[shadowchaser]

It was Random Hearts....ummmm....eeerrrr....the only reason I watched it because Indiana Jones was in it...yeah, yeah that's it.

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"Do you still dream...do you still dream like me...infectious corruptive dreams."

shadowchaser076@aol.com

[artful]

There is no sanctuary in death...

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<I'm a Fire-starter>

--- When the Artful speaks

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

"Takin' out the suckas, and they don't know how I did it!!!"

[blueangel]

I, personally, NEVER understood cheating. Why? I don't get it. If you don't like the person that your with NOW then break up and do what ever you want to do!! If you KNOW that you can't be monogomous then DON'T enter into a committed relationship and give your spouse the false hope!! But most of all DON'T get married!!

Nothing good ever comes from cheating and everything associated with cheating. NOTHING. The only thing that comes from cheating is that some poor soul is left in the dust crying and asking a bunch of why's? It's just so sad to me that there are people out there who would want to inflict these types of pain upon their partner. And please don't tell me, "It's just something that happened." Cause cheating just doesn't HAPPEN by themselves. You go through the kissing, the touching, the fondeling and the final act of fucking . . . and through all this YOU'RE the one that committed the acts and caused the action to happen. So, it's definately not something that just happen by themselves.

Cheating is WRONG.

p.s. can you tell that I've been cheated on?

BlueAngel

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"Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to walk by again?"

[brandie]

As usual, I'm totally with you on this one, Casey.

Cheating is terrible . . . i do not understand the point of being in a relationship with someone if you're going to be with other people. Why bother? Go be a dirty lil whore that fucks around with mad people.

Girls who hook up with guys that they know have girlfriends deserve to be shot. Tramps. And vice versa.

People - how can you tell someone that you love them, and that you want to *marry* them, but then go behind their back and fuck someone else??

I'm def. agreeing w/ the don't get married statement - i had an ex professing undying love, all that to me (he was a lil older) . . . not like i would ever have considered getting married then, and def. not to him, but as it turns out that motherfucker was cheating on me. I caught him, I'm not that dumb . . . but he still denies it!!

If you have the capability of cheating on someone, or even having serious thoughts of it, you should get out of the relationship. It's not fair to the other person, that tehy should be hurt by you because you can't remain faithful.

How can you still keep lying after someone knows it's true?? If you get caught, admit it. You've already broken my trust, lying about it will do nothing to help you.

I would *never* take back someone that cheated on me. And if they died, I'm with yur mom - FUCK em, i'd kick the shit out of their body, too.

Yup. I've been cheated on too . . . i don't know if it's the thrill of doing something naughty, or that people just don't care anymore . . . why do people cheat? especially if they're in a relationship where they're having sex, their partner is good in bed, etc, their partner loves them, yadayada . . . i just don't understand . . . i would *never* cheat on someone . . .

luv,

brandie

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"And those who were seen dancing

were thought to be insane by those

who could not hear the music."

**NEW EMAIL!!**

brandie@powerpuff.com

or

loves2cox@netscape.net

AIM: loves2cox

[beautious1]

wow you girls are bitter!!!

Hi my name is Beautious1 and I'm a cheater.

I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years now. We met when we were freshmen in college, and have been together ever since.

I started seeing my lover about a year and 3 months ago. He has a long-term girlfriend of 5 years.

My lover introduced me to a world that I never knew existed. Knowing him, and being with him has taught me alot. We do not love eachother, nor do we act like it. We just purley enjoy eachother's company.

I give him something his girlfriend can't, and he gives me something my man could never. It's not all about sex either. It's about that "something" in one's personality. We are friends, who are so attracted to eachother, that we express it freely whenever we get the chance.

I can be myself with him or I can be a totally different with him person depending on the mood. I love having my cake and eating it too...

I also feel that I'm young enough to experience all the flavors life has to offer. Maybe when I finally grow up I'll come to my senses...but for now? I'm def. licking the icing off my fingers!!!

Don't player hate!!!

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Feeling this way, makes me feel like falling....

[blueangel]

beautious1, I don't player hate. If you're in it for the game then best luck to ya. You and lover are doing the right thing by letting each other know what up. At least that's a hell of a lot more then what you're giving to your boyfriend (poor soul). You boyfriend doesn't know what's up.

If you're REALLY a player, then you don't have to lie and deceive. Your shit should be SOOOO GOOD that you can juggle 4/5 men all at once and still be able to tell them what's up! That's a TRUE player.

No some lil' girl who wants the security and the stability of one guy and a wild sex play of another. That's not a player.

So, you see I don't hate player. . . they're a hell of a lot more honest then cheaters. Don't get the two confused. You're a cheater, you said it yourself . . . not a player.

OH and also, am I bitter?? Yea, I'm bitter cause when people steal from something as precious as trust . . . you have the right to be bitter.

I guess it's like you said, maybe you'll grow up one of these days and come to your senses. The sense that there's nothing fun about hurting people. Or perhaps fate will come into play and bite you in the ass. Then maybe that'll wake you up, too.

BlueAngel

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"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

[beautious1]

Hey you might very well be absolutely right.

But, opinions are like assholes, everybody has one and their usually full of shit!!

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Feeling this way, makes me feel like falling....

[blueangel]

Not as much of an asshole as the person who's doing the cheating.

BlueAngel

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"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

[lexxxi]

There is only one way to view cheating....IT'S WRONG!!! If you feel inclined to sleep with other people (no matter for fun or love) then you should be single and out there going crazy.If you are in a serious relationship and you feel the need to explore, talk with your partner about 3+somes. It's a fun way to be with your partner and others.

[glowgirl]

Buleangel....I'm right there with ya!!!!!

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Good time had by all!!!

[john58]

BlueAngel, I've read several times that you don't "understand cheating." Yes, cheating is wrong, but I think you are taking something that is complicated and trying to make it simple.

i think one reason behind a lot of cheating is that people become trapped. They can't just break it off, so they dabble behind their spouse's back. People in marriage may grow apart, but maybe they are reluctant to split up because of kids, or maybe one is financially dependent on the other. Just because you can't leave doesn't mean you can suppress your feelings.

Another situation is this: Both people start out equally attractive to one another, but over time one person becomes repulsive to the other. BTW, I have seen this happen to friends of both genders. Since there is a strong emotional bond, the person who is not attracted anymore is reluctant to bite the bullet. Along comes that handsome/beautiful stranger and then...

Another reason for cheating unique to men is that when men become very rich and successful, they seem to like to date women half their age. A quick look through the news confirms this every day. I think it is deplorable, and speak out against this vocally. I told this once to someone much older than me, and he said "well, if you are 63 and worth $50M tell me if you feel the same way then."

Another reason is just plain old temptation. Nothing beats the rush of the first kiss. Some people just miss the adrenaline flow. It is analogous to other addictions in that sense.

Some people are battling their own insecurities. They are not confident enough to be alone, but are not satisfied with what they have. So they keep hunting, without really worrying about the feelings of anyone but themselves.

there's a lot more I want to say but I'm getting too wordy...

[blueangel]

Originally posted by john58:

BlueAngel, I've read several times that you don't "understand cheating." Yes, cheating is wrong, but I think you are taking something that is complicated and trying to make it simple.

i think one reason behind a lot of cheating is that people become trapped. They can't just break it off, so they dabble behind their spouse's back. People in marriage may grow apart, but maybe they are reluctant to split up because of kids, or maybe one is financially dependent on the other. Just because you can't leave doesn't mean you can suppress your feelings.

Another situation is this: Both people start out equally attractive to one another, but over time one person becomes repulsive to the other. BTW, I have seen this happen to friends of both genders. Since there is a strong emotional bond, the person who is not attracted anymore is reluctant to bite the bullet. Along comes that handsome/beautiful stranger and then...

Another reason for cheating unique to men is that when men become very rich and successful, they seem to like to date women half their age. A quick look through the news confirms this every day. I think it is deplorable, and speak out against this vocally. I told this once to someone much older than me, and he said "well, if you are 63 and worth $50M tell me if you feel the same way then."

Another reason is just plain old temptation. Nothing beats the rush of the first kiss. Some people just miss the adrenaline flow. It is analogous to other addictions in that sense.

Some people are battling their own insecurities. They are not confident enough to be alone, but are not satisfied with what they have. So they keep hunting, without really worrying about the feelings of anyone but themselves.

there's a lot more I want to say but I'm getting too wordy...

I'm not making cheating a simple matter. The only simple thing about it is that it's WRONG. That's the only statement that I have made about cheating. Every single example that you have showed is either because the person is a coward, selfish, digusting old men who have too much money and time in their hands, and people who just plainly don't have any self control.

NOW I ask you . .. are those good reasons? Are those GOOD personality characteristics?? DO those reasons justify cheating??

I understand where you're coming from . . . there are a lot that's behind the screen that may make the situation complicated . . . however the bottom line is this. Cheating is WRONG and the people that committ them ARE wrong. There's no other ways to put is. You gotta call it what it is.

BlueAngel

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"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

[beautious1]

Originally posted by blueangel:

Not as much of an asshole as the person who's doing the cheating.

BlueAngel

LMFAO...If you knew me, you'd feel differently!

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Feeling this way, makes me feel like falling....

[blueangel]

beautious1,

Whether I knew you or not . . . I'm just calling it what it is.

The fact that I know you . . . . won't change the fact you're a cheater.

BlueAngel

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"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

[beautious1]

Originally posted by blueangel:

beautious1,

Whether I knew you or not . . . I'm just calling it what it is.

The fact that I know you . . . . won't change the fact you're a cheater.

BlueAngel

I just hope for your sake that you never fall into a long term loving relationship... then after some years, meet someone new that awakens something in you that you never even knew existed...

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Feeling this way, makes me feel like falling....

[blueangel]

If that was the case then you need to let the old relationship go. If this new guy awaken something in you that your boyfriend couldn't then isn't that so obviouse that your current boyfriend is not for you?? Why tag him along for a ride that he is not OBVIOUSLY going to riding forever?? Why mislead him? Why hurt him like that??

What you're doing right now . . . just makes no sense.

And just to let you know . . . I HAVE been in a long BEAUTIFUL relationship and met someone that did that same thing. I just chose to be honest about it with my bf at the time . . . and ended my relationship before I went into a new one. AND now with my current boyfriend, if there's one thing that he has in me is TRUST. He knows that, no matter how harsh it may be, I will never lie or deceive him, or mislead him. He trust me cause he knows I will always be honest . . . and vice versa.

BlueAngel

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"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

[This message has been edited by blueangel (edited 09-20-2000).]

[john58]

Originally posted by blueangel:

I'm not making cheating a simple matter. The only simple thing about it is that it's WRONG. That's the only statement that I have made about cheating. Every single example that you have showed is either because the person is a coward, selfish, digusting old men who have too much money and time in their hands, and people who just plainly don't have any self control.

NOW I ask you . .. are those good reasons? Are those GOOD personality characteristics?? DO those reasons justify cheating??

I understand where you're coming from . . . there are a lot that's behind the screen that may make the situation complicated . . . however the bottom line is this. Cheating is WRONG and the people that committ them ARE wrong. There's no other ways to put is. You gotta call it what it is.

BlueAngel

[john58]

Originally posted by blueangel:

I'm not making cheating a simple matter. The only simple thing about it is that it's WRONG. That's the only statement that I have made about cheating. Every single example that you have showed is either because the person is a coward, selfish, digusting old men who have too much money and time in their hands, and people who just plainly don't have any self control.

NOW I ask you . .. are those good reasons? Are those GOOD personality characteristics?? DO those reasons justify cheating??

I understand where you're coming from . . . there are a lot that's behind the screen that may make the situation complicated . . . however the bottom line is this. Cheating is WRONG and the people that committ them ARE wrong. There's no other ways to put is. You gotta call it what it is.

BlueAngel

I wasn't saying that cheating was right. You said originally "why cheating?" and I was just listing reasons why it happens, not endorsing them. Is your question "why do people cheat?" or "why do people make morally weak decisions?" You seem to be focused on situations where one person really acts like everything is great, "I love you so much blah blah blah", and then surprise surprise they have another girlfriend. But I was trying to point out that there are situations where cheating occurs that are different than this. My friend's half-crazy husband threw her out of the apartment (not really threw, but just made it very clear she wasn't welcome there) Obviously they were on bad terms at this point, and he wouldn't take her calls for over 3 months. Eventually she started seeing someone, and then he found out and was calling her "a cheating whore, etc." Technically she was cheating, but I don't think this situation is morally equivalent to the "surprise surprise" case

You sound like you are really bitter towards people who cheat. But personally, getting rejected has hurt me just as much as getting cheated on. When someone says, "oh I met this great guy and I wanted to fool around with him but didn't. So, I am dumping your sorry ass to go out with him," it doesn't make me feel any better because nothing physical happened yet. I feel equally hurt either way.

[blueangel]

I think that perhaps YOU are the one that is getting confused. I'm not talking about your friend's situation. Obviously if her husband threw her out and refused to see her for that long then she should of taken some legal action. But that's her business.

I'm talking about people who are in a committed relationship and cheat knowing that IT'S WRONG!

So, you're saying that you would rather be cheated on then having you girlfriend be honest with you. You would rather that she deceive you in thinking that everything is okay when it's obviously not?? If that's what you're saying then (I'm sorry) but I think you're very delusional.

Is my question "why do people cheat?" or "why do people make morally weak decisions?"

ISN'T THAT THE SAME THING? I mean people cheat cause they're making a morally weak decision . . . or they're just plain evil.

Look, in your friends situation . . . I don't know what exactly happened with her but if my husband threw me out of the house . . . I'd leave. So, I don't even understand how that situation comes into our conversation.

BlueAngel

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"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

[misskittie]

I HATE CHEATERS!!!!!!

I was cheated on by someone I cared deeply for and now because of that, Im afraid to trust guys! Its just not fair. And its selfish!

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[john58]

This is getting a little hostile but I don't want it too... Since this is not a verbal conversation I don't have the opportunity to tie things together neatly. I never said you were confused, BlueAngel. And I am not endorsing cheating...

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Is my question "why do people cheat?" or "why do people make morally weak decisions?"

ISN'T THAT THE SAME THING? I mean people cheat cause they're making a morally weak decision . . . or they're just plain evil.

I don't think they are the same question. To show why, let's assume that a temptation drives any morally weak decision. There are two questions, one specific and one global in scope. The specific question is "why do people take a certain action?" The global question is "why do people make morally weak decisions, of which this certain action is one?" Assume the morally weak decision is not cheating, but stealing. We could say, "why do people steal?" The answer would be what temptations drive stealing. One temptation would be the need for money. Another one would be simply the thrill of the wrongdoing. There could be other reasons. Specific answers for the specific moral breakdown in question. When you say "why do people cheat?" to me that means the specific answers (trapped in marriage, horny old man, etc.) apply. "Why do people make morally weak decisions?" is a much deeper philosophical question that doesn't have definitive answers, especially since morality to an extent is individually defined as well as societally defined. One last thought, I've read some studies (although I must admit that any study of American bedroom behavior is probably frought with inaccuracies) that claim more than half of spouses cheat at one time or another. That's a lot of morally weak or just plain evil people out there.

[blueangel]

I didn't mean to come out as being hostile, but I feel as if you're drifting away from what the inital subject wast. And that was CHEATING. I don't want to discuss the whole morally weak issue cause we can go on forever with that.

In my initial reply . . . I just clearly stated that (to me) cheating is VERY wrong and I just can't understand why people would committ them.

Whether it is temptation or not . . . your loving wife/husband, boyfriend/girlfriend at least DESERVE enough respect to be told the truth. That's all I'm saying.

BlueAngel

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"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

[john58]

I said:

You sound like you are really bitter towards people who cheat. But personally, getting rejected has hurt me just as much as getting cheated on. When someone says, "oh I met this great guy and I wanted to fool around with him but didn't. So, I am dumping your sorry ass to go out with him," it doesn't make me feel any better because nothing physical happened yet. I feel equally hurt either way.

You said:

So, you're saying that you would rather be cheated on then having you girlfriend be honest with you. You would rather that she deceive you in thinking that everything is okay when it's obviously not?? If that's what you're saying then (I'm sorry) but I think you're very delusional.

It is unfair to call me delusional. In fact, my point was that as you put it: "I do not want to be deceived into thinking that everything is okay when it's obviously not." This deception can occur with or without my girlfriend having physical contact with another man. People who form an intense mental relationship with someone behind their significant other's back, but feel absolved of guilt because nothing happened until after the breakup are ignoring the reality of their action's effects. And, I am speaking from experience. I have had both situations occur. Summing up the two stories: I had two serious relationships end when I thought things were good. In the first, my girlfriend announced she had been getting to know some other guy and so basically "see you later." In the second, my girlfriend revealed she had been hooking up with her ex and wanted to break it off with me (I became the ex). In both instances, I felt gutwrenching pain like I had been stabbed with a knife (cliched but aptly descriptive), because I was "deceived into thinking that everything was okay when it was obviously not." Looking back, I can say I was hurt equally. I don't think this is a delusion.

[blueangel]

I'm sorry you had to go through that pain but me . . . speaking from personal experience also, I'd rather that my bf tell me he can't love me like I love him then to go behind my back and cheat. I've been cheated on twice . . . first time was with my first love when I was a nothing but a teenage girl in love and the second time was when I was an adult in a 4 year relationship getting ready to get married. Thank god, I found out before we got married but to think that for the three years that (he cheated after the first year) I was committed to him and our relationship was just a whole lie . . . really did a number on me. It effected me very much and also effected the many relationships after him. Thank god that I met my current bf, who is just the most wonderful person in the world, cause he brought my trust up to a normal level now and helped me believe that ALL men are not evil!

Deception is ANY form is (again in my opinion) WRONG. And I don't think that some of these people that cheat have any idea what kind of damage they can do to their partner once it comes out . . . and believe me EVERYTHING comes out eventually. Some might think that they're doing their partner a favor by not telling, but fate (I'm sure) always bring the truth to the surface . .. sooner or later.

It's just wrong.

BlueAngel

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"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."