xlr8ted Posted September 26 Report Share Posted September 26 Is it me, or when someone in a relationship is given all the attention from their loved one, they take it for granted? I have been w/ my beautiful girlfriend for about a year now and have shown her all my love and attention for most of that year. Recently I have felt somewhat neglected and not so special to that person, so I decided to take a stand about that. Nothing to drastic, but just started to lay off the calling and being so serious, kinda like what she was doing to me. She expected me to call or be there or always have time for her, when none of this was given to me in return, not that she was doing it on purpose, but thats her personality. Well it almost seems like the roles have been reversed and it sucks to say this but it feels good. We have a great relationship as is, never really fight and have been great friends for years. Has anyone else ever gone through this or do you agree that people that are shown too much love and attention could take it for granted?ThanksX_ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollib Posted September 26 Report Share Posted September 26 I totally agree. There is usually one person in the relationship who has the power but the roles change every so often from person to person. As they say "nice guys finish last." I think that is sad but most of the time true. My friends and I always say we like the ones we shouldnt although there is something that I like being with a bad ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted September 26 Report Share Posted September 26 hey- i am definitely not one to judge but can i make a comment here? if she doesnt go outta her way for u and u feel neglected.... something should be done about that.. whether its talkin to her about it or findin someone else who can love u and show u how much they love u.. 2nd- if backin off her and not calling her as much and goin outta ur way for her makes YOU feel better... then maybe ur with the wrong person since neglecting each other seems to work better for u. thats just my opinion... but like i said i dont know u and i dont know her so i cant judge ur relationship but hopefully thats not the case.... anyways... i have been with my bf almost a year and i can honestly say that we never neglect each other and the love is still there. we show it each and every chance we get. and i couldnt be happier with anyone else. it seems to me that u dont like being neglected by ur gf... so my advice would be to analyze ur own situation and decide whether this is what u really want.. or maybe u should consider playin the field a lil bit and find someone who doesnt mind showing u how much she loves u--good luck hun- hope things work out for u! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollib Posted September 26 Report Share Posted September 26 linabina, you really make me jealous (j/k). seriously though, it is nice to people these days in a nice, healthy, realtionship. you are truly a lucky girl and i hope to one day find what you have!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sum12nv Posted September 26 Report Share Posted September 26 linabina...i couldnt have said it better Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted September 26 Report Share Posted September 26 Originally posted by xlr8ted Is it me, or when someone in a relationship is given all the attention from their loved one, they take it for granted? I have been w/ my beautiful girlfriend for about a year now and have shown her all my love and attention for most of that year. Recently I have felt somewhat neglected and not so special to that person, so I decided to take a stand about that. Nothing to drastic, but just started to lay off the calling and being so serious, kinda like what she was doing to me. She expected me to call or be there or always have time for her, when none of this was given to me in return, not that she was doing it on purpose, but thats her personality. Well it almost seems like the roles have been reversed and it sucks to say this but it feels good. We have a great relationship as is, never really fight and have been great friends for years. Has anyone else ever gone through this or do you agree that people that are shown too much love and attention could take it for granted?ThanksX_ people usually play these kinds of games in the begining of a relationship... not after a year of being together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted September 26 Report Share Posted September 26 Originally posted by xlr8ted Is it me, or when someone in a relationship is given all the attention from their loved one, they take it for granted? I have been w/ my beautiful girlfriend for about a year now and have shown her all my love and attention for most of that year. Recently I have felt somewhat neglected and not so special to that person, so I decided to take a stand about that. Nothing to drastic, but just started to lay off the calling and being so serious, kinda like what she was doing to me. She expected me to call or be there or always have time for her, when none of this was given to me in return, not that she was doing it on purpose, but thats her personality. Well it almost seems like the roles have been reversed and it sucks to say this but it feels good. We have a great relationship as is, never really fight and have been great friends for years. Has anyone else ever gone through this or do you agree that people that are shown too much love and attention could take it for granted?ThanksX_ Not with girls but with my friends in general... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted September 26 Report Share Posted September 26 Originally posted by linabina hey- i am definitely not one to judge but can i make a comment here? if she doesnt go outta her way for u and u feel neglected.... something should be done about that.. whether its talkin to her about it or findin someone else who can love u and show u how much they love u.. 2nd- if backin off her and not calling her as much and goin outta ur way for her makes YOU feel better... then maybe ur with the wrong person since neglecting each other seems to work better for u. thats just my opinion... but like i said i dont know u and i dont know her so i cant judge ur relationship but hopefully thats not the case.... anyways... i have been with my bf almost a year and i can honestly say that we never neglect each other and the love is still there. we show it each and every chance we get. and i couldnt be happier with anyone else. it seems to me that u dont like being neglected by ur gf... so my advice would be to analyze ur own situation and decide whether this is what u really want.. or maybe u should consider playin the field a lil bit and find someone who doesnt mind showing u how much she loves u--good luck hun- hope things work out for u! YOU!!! YOU!!! YOU!!! youre gooood!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freshl7freshl7 Posted September 26 Report Share Posted September 26 Dude I am going through that same shit right now...It sucks for 5 years I had my girl in the palm of my hand and now shit is different, we were broken up for 5 months and now we are back together but shit has changed.....As soon as I act like I don't give a shit she is right back on the TOOL.....That's just the way it goes... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted September 26 Report Share Posted September 26 Originally posted by lollib linabina, you really make me jealous (j/k). seriously though, it is nice to people these days in a nice, healthy, realtionship. you are truly a lucky girl and i hope to one day find what you have!!! awwwww!! thanks girl... that means a lot! Originally posted by dgmodelYOU!!! YOU!!! YOU!!! youre gooood!!! whyyy thank u... i try!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted September 26 Report Share Posted September 26 Originally posted by linabina hey- i am definitely not one to judge but can i make a comment here? if she doesnt go outta her way for u and u feel neglected.... something should be done about that.. whether its talkin to her about it or findin someone else who can love u and show u how much they love u.. 2nd- if backin off her and not calling her as much and goin outta ur way for her makes YOU feel better... then maybe ur with the wrong person since neglecting each other seems to work better for u. thats just my opinion... but like i said i dont know u and i dont know her so i cant judge ur relationship but hopefully thats not the case.... ! You should be happy, not trying to make her unhappy or justify your reasons for doing so. It you are putting out negative effort, you aren't going to get what you want out of the relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
romy20 Posted September 26 Report Share Posted September 26 OMGG that exact same thing has been happening with me and my boyfriend. We have been together for over 2 years now, and thats been happening for a little while now. Its like I give him so much attention, i go out of my way to do things for him, when he's down I make him feel better, etc. But lately i feel like he's not doin anything for me, like i dont know its wierd, and i feel like im doing all this for nothing and i dont get anything out of it and it really makes me upset. Its like i want a bf thats gonna be there for me and make me feel wanted, but i dont. The thing is that i know he cares about me and everything, its just the way he is sometimes and i dont think he even notices he does it.so yeah i dont know what to do either, any advice?im glad this was posted cause i was gonna post something like this one of these days cause its really getting to me.thanksromy20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reliant Posted September 27 Report Share Posted September 27 Romy ,I Have gone through the same thing. I have caught my self and said to myself "dont get too confortable".I like my girlfriend really caring and attentive to me. but if that stops for some reason, The guys defence mechanisim kicks in -RED ALERT- Something is wrong!!!! It takes that sometimes to get the guys priorities strait!!! yup sometimes i just need a small kick in the ass to kind of say "hey i really have it good dont take it for granted" Give it a shot, Start to not be as attentive for a little while see what happensA. He will notice and change B. He will not change.... Maybe he is not the right one C. If that doesnt work tell him how you really feel.Hope this helps Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
romy20 Posted September 27 Report Share Posted September 27 Originally posted by reliant Romy ,I Have gone through the same thing. I have caught my self and said to myself "dont get too confortable".I like my girlfriend really caring and attentive to me. but if that stops for some reason, The guys defence mechanisim kicks in -RED ALERT- Something is wrong!!!! It takes that sometimes to get the guys priorities strait!!! yup sometimes i just need a small kick in the ass to kind of say "hey i really have it good dont take it for granted" Give it a shot, Start to not be as attentive for a little while see what happensA. He will notice and change B. He will not change.... Maybe he is not the right one C. If that doesnt work tell him how you really feel.Hope this helps Thank you so much for the advice, yeah I figured that I may try and be "like I don't care, or yeah less attentive".Cause I mean its so wierd with him too, one day its "i miss u i love u come to school here so we can be together", and the next day he like ignores me, he's sooooooo wierd i dont get him at all!!Well actually even his mom says he's moody lolso yeah thats what im gonna try and ill see what happens, hopefully it'll workwell thanks again:) romy20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reliant Posted September 27 Report Share Posted September 27 Hehehe Hey so he is at school eh ??? how far away from you? are you in college too or somthing different? im laughing because its starting to sound like my situation. My girlfriend goes to the state college and im at home 2 hours away. Its the long distance relationship thing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
romy20 Posted September 27 Report Share Posted September 27 Originally posted by reliant Hehehe Hey so he is at school eh ??? how far away from you? are you in college too or somthing different? im laughing because its starting to sound like my situation. My girlfriend goes to the state college and im at home 2 hours away. Its the long distance relationship thing Hey, yep its the same thing, he's up at school in Connecticut, which is 2 hrs away too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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