gonzojournilist Posted October 29 Report Share Posted October 29 VictimX_26: HiCheesedog: helloCheesedog: who is this?VictimX_26: just a someone?Cheesedog: A someone I know?VictimX_26: nopeCheesedog: Then why the hell are you bothering me?VictimX_26: well sorrrrrryVictimX_26: I just wanted to chat with youCheesedog: why?VictimX_26: nevermind your an assholeCheesedog: Hey wait a minuteVictimX_26: yes?Cheesedog: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoidVictimX_26: paranoid?Cheesedog: yesVictimX_26: of what?VictimX_26: me?Cheesedog: No. I'm in hiding.VictimX_26: LOLCheesedog: Don't fucking laugh at me!Cheesedog: This shit is serious!VictimX_26: What are you hiding from?Cheesedog: The cops.VictimX_26: gimme a fucking breakCheesedog: I'm serious.VictimX_26: I don't get itCheesedog: The cops are after me.VictimX_26: For what?Cheesedog: I'm wanted in three statesVictimX_26: For???Cheesedog: It's kindof embarrasing.Cheesedog: I had sex with a turkey.Cheesedog: Hello?VictimX_26: You are fucking sick.Cheesedog: Send me your picture.VictimX_26: why?Cheesedog: so I know you aren't one of them.VictimX_26: One of what?Cheesedog: The cops.VictimX_26: I'm not a cop i told youCheesedog: Then send me your picture.VictimX_26: hold onCheesedog: Hurry up.Cheesedog: Are you there?Cheesedog: Fuck you, cop!VictimX_26: Hey sorryVictimX_26: I had to do something for my mom.Cheesedog: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.Cheesedog: When really you were notifying the authorities.Cheesedog: Weren't you!?VictimX_26: thats not itCheesedog: Then what?VictimX_26: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not prettyCheesedog: Most cops aren'tVictimX_26: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU SHITHEAD!Cheesedog: Then send me the picture.VictimX_26: fine. What's your e-mail?Cheesedog: Just send it through here.VictimX_26: alright ***PIC*** VictimX_26: Did you get it?Cheesedog: Hold on. I'm looking.VictimX_26: That was me back in mayVictimX_26: I've lost weight since then.Cheesedog: I hope soVictimX_26: what?!?VictimX_26: that hurt my feelings.Cheesedog: Did it?VictimX_26: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.Cheesedog: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?VictimX_26: yesCheesedog: Alright let me find it.VictimX_26: kksCheesedog: Okay here it is. ***PIC*** VictimX_26: this isn't you.Cheesedog: I'll be damned if it ain't!VictimX_26: You don't look like that.Cheesedog: How the hell do you know?VictimX_26: cause your profile has another picture.Cheesedog: The profile pic is a fake.Cheesedog: I use it to hide from the cops.VictimX_26: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lolCheesedog: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....Cheesedog: Not to mention all the groceries.VictimX_26: Go fuck yourselfCheesedog: I was going to until I saw that pictureCheesedog: Now my dick won't get hard for a week.VictimX_26: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.VictimX_26: You've done nothing but slam me.VictimX_26: you hurt me.Cheesedog: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?VictimX_26: I thought you were bullshitting me!Cheesedog: Why would I do that?VictimX_26: I can't believe that cops are after youCheesedog: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..VictimX_26: FUCK YOU!!!Cheesedog: You'd break both of his legs.VictimX_26: You're a fucking asshole.VictimX_26: I've been teased my whole life because of my weightVictimX_26: and you make fun of me when you don't even know meCheesedog: Ok. I'm sorry.VictimX_26: No you aren'tCheesedog: You're right. I'm not.Cheesedog: HAARRRRR!VictimX_26: I'm done with youCheesedog: Aww. I'm sorry.VictimX_26: I'm putting you on ignoreCheesedog: Wait a secCheesedog: We got off on the wrong foot.Cheesedog: Wanna start over?VictimX_26: NoCheesedog: I'll eat your pussyVictimX_26: You'll what?Cheesedog: You heard me.Cheesedog: I said I'd eat your pussy.VictimX_26: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my pictureCheesedog: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy?VictimX_26: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yesCheesedog: Well I'm not like most men.Cheesedog: I get excited in different ways.VictimX_26: Like what?Cheesedog: Do you really wanna know?VictimX_26: I don't knowCheesedog: You have to tell me yes or no.VictimX_26: I'm afraid toCheesedog: Why?VictimX_26: causeCheesedog: cause why?VictimX_26: well lets seeVictimX_26: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me outVictimX_26: doesn't that seem strange to you?Cheesedog: NopeVictimX_26: well its strange to meCheesedog: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me toVictimX_26: I didn't say thatCheesedog: So is that a yes?VictimX_26: I guess so.Cheesedog: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.Cheesedog: Are you willing?VictimX_26: What do you need me to do?Cheesedog: I need you talk like a pirate.VictimX_26: ???Cheesedog: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"Cheesedog: ok?Cheesedog: Hello?VictimX_26: You can't be seriousCheesedog: Oh yes I am!Cheesedog: It's my fantasy.VictimX_26: this is retardedCheesedog: Do you want it or not?VictimX_26: Yes I want it.Cheesedog: Then you'll do it for me?VictimX_26: sure Cheesedog: Ok. Here we go.Cheesedog: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.Cheesedog: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against themCheesedog: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy.Cheesedog: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit.VictimX_26: mmmm yeahCheesedog: uh oh ...going limp.VictimX_26: HarCheesedog: You gotta do better than that!Cheesedog: Your picture was really bad.VictimX_26: HARRRRRRRRRRRRCheesedog: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke.Cheesedog: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.Cheesedog: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.Cheesedog: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.VictimX_26: mmmmmm you are goodCheesedog: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harderCheesedog: going limpVictimX_26: HARRRRRRRCheesedog: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.Cheesedog: You begin to sway back and forth.Cheesedog: going limpVictimX_26: this is stupidCheesedog: ...still limpCheesedog: Do it!VictimX_26: HARRRRRRRRRRRRRCheesedog: I turn you around to lick your asshole.Cheesedog: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.Cheesedog: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole.VictimX_26: WTF?!?!?Cheesedog: They stink really bad.VictimX_26: OMG STOP!!!Cheesedog: I start to get fed up with your ugly assCheesedog: I tear off your wooden peg leg.Cheesedog: I ram it up your ass.VictimX_26: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!Cheesedog: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.Cheesedog: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...Cheesedog: I kick you in the face!VictimX_26: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!Cheesedog: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...Cheesedog: Your parrot flys away.Cheesedog: ...going limp again.Cheesedog: Hello?Cheesedog: Say it!Cheesedog: HAARRRRRR!!!!!VictimX_26: <USER NOT FOUND> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karch Posted October 29 Report Share Posted October 29 Yo.... I'm about to cry here laughing my ass off!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sttarrkidd Posted October 29 Report Share Posted October 29 HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHHAHAHCAN NOT BREATHEpixie duststarr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ggfella4 Posted October 29 Report Share Posted October 29 hahahaahhahahahahaahhhahaaa.....that was fuckin halaroius...i think the best part was when u said "I pry apart that battleship you call your ass" funniest thing i read in a whilepeace outgianni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cazz926 Posted October 29 Report Share Posted October 29 Cheesedog: I turn you around to lick your asshole. Cheesedog: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass. Cheesedog: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole. Brilliant. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted October 29 Report Share Posted October 29 OMG, this shit was fucking crazy...and totally made my laugh my ass off and enhance my high..lol.... :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kludgio Posted October 29 Report Share Posted October 29 omg, that was ridiculous: the funniest thing i can remember readinggonzo, that was you? you're fucking crazy--d11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siceone Posted October 29 Report Share Posted October 29 first off let me say that is the meanest thing I have ever seen and the funniest at the same time.. I feel bad for her BUT GOD DAMN Mrs. battleship ass had it coming Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigpoppanils Posted October 29 Report Share Posted October 29 :laugh:Cheesedog: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass Cheesedog: I tear off your wooden peg leg. Cheesedog: I ram it up your ass. fantastic. louima style! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintron Posted October 29 Report Share Posted October 29 omg i am in tears!!!!Say IT!! SAY IT!!!HARRRRRRRRRR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgiddy Posted October 29 Report Share Posted October 29 another classic, thanks for starting my day off with some great laughs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexonthawkends Posted October 29 Report Share Posted October 29 Oh mah lord!!! That was sum funny shit!!!! Oh my god, i'm at work and the girl next to me was practically drueling to find out what i was laughing so hard about!!!!All I turned around and said was. . . . . HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaRRRRRRRRr!!!!!!ROLMAO!!!!!dO IT AGAIN!!!! LOL!!!! :laugh: -Gre' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dudey Posted October 29 Report Share Posted October 29 Dude, that was some of the finniest shit i've ever heard. I was on the ground laughing and people were looking at me all wierd. God damn ..that wa shilarious. laugh like a pirate??!!!! WTF?!!! too funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tunnelbandit Posted October 29 Report Share Posted October 29 That was fucking hysterical. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misk Posted October 29 Report Share Posted October 29 i liked....well u look like u ate the farm fresh guy!!! LMAO!!!or....i can't believe santa lets u sit on his lap!!.....omigod...how cruel yet...i am hysterical!! LOL!!!!!! :laugh: :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJGaryMatthews Posted October 29 Report Share Posted October 29 hahahahaha!!! i cant beleive she actually said "haaarrr". omg, that was so funny....the whole thing was absolutely frickin hilarious....OMFG. im cryin from laughin so hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aznsk1kass Posted October 30 Report Share Posted October 30 This shit is mad funny lol havent seen it in a long time... glad that is back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
airatomic Posted October 30 Report Share Posted October 30 OMFG...TOOO FUUUUCKEEEN FUNNNYYYY!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzojournilist Posted October 30 Author Report Share Posted October 30 HAAARRR! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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