*Post Your Ugly Mug Time*

[HAZE]

Me on a deep sea fishing boat in Pt. Pleasant this summer

[nSyNcBaBy]

thanks guys

[lorenzolamas]

I am sorry but you are not hot. Fortunatly, for you, your eyes are the centerpoint of attention which will divert anyone from checking the rest of you out. I will give you that. But you have absolutely no bone structure, its a glob of pudge. Too much makeup and over done eyebrows probably threaded in some washed up salon give you the cheap pop culture kiddie look.

My advice:

Get on a treadmill and loose some weight. Your packing a bit too much for the outfits you wear. If you loose a few stones it will bring whatever definition you have in your face to the forefront.

Lorenzo's 1 ---- 10 scale:

|0---1----2---3---4---5--LinaBina--6--7--8--9--10|

[lorenzolamas]

DarrelG: Too bad you couldnt make that picture you posted smaller. The guido tanktop is exactly for who its marketed for...guidos. If your going to show off your body, make sure there is something to show. Your flabby arms lack definition, and the sunglasses scream tacky. You have poor skin and need to take care of it better. I reccomend Cetaphil to cleanse. You are one of the uglier guys I've seen, so I assume you must have a good personality.

Lorenzo's 1 - 10 scale:

|0--1--2--DarrelG--3--4--5--6--7--8--9--10|

[thrillfire]

wow, someone is in a critical mood...

[lorenzolamas]

Mystify22: By these standards, it is safe to say that you are a tad above the norm here. That by all means is not the cue for the confetti to stream down and crown you HOT. Sorry, I dont play that easy. While your body is up to par for every day working women it still could use some toning ann definition. Arms/stomach/legs in particular. Your face is rather odd. It resembles that of an Orang Utan. The streaked hair is all too common these days. Try natural for once. Nose is a bit wide for a woman as well as the lips, they are thin. These two masculine features off set your overall apperance giving you a more butch look.

Lorenzo's Scale:

|0--1--2--3--4--5--6--Mystify22--7--8--9--10|

[SuGaRNSpIcE]

Originally posted by lorenzolamas

DarrelG: Too bad you couldnt make that picture you posted smaller. The guido tanktop is exactly for who its marketed for...guidos. If your going to show off your body, make sure there is something to show. Your flabby arms lack definition, and the sunglasses scream tacky. You have poor skin and need to take care of it better. I reccomend Cetaphil to cleanse. You are one of the uglier guys I've seen, so I assume you must have a good personality.

Lorenzo's 1 - 10 scale:

|0--1--2--DarrelG--3--4--5--6--7--8--9--10|

where is your picture super model??? obviously u arent hot shit if u cant post your picture

[lorenzolamas]

LadyShady: The picture provided makes it rather hard to give a proper review. From the looks of it you seem to like your meat dark. Im not one who will stand up and applaude such acts, but its 2004, things change. Your eyes are your mainpoint. A bit too far apart in proportion to your face, the almond shape however is rather exotic and fresh to look at. Nose isnt bad, lips decent. Your make up, or lack there of, needs to be re-taught as double coating lipsticks with a purple liner on the out is trash. A new hairstyle and a Hollywood tan would bring out a much more exotic look.

Overall you got potential, but buried in Hoola hoop earrings, tiger strip 5" fingernails, and fuzzy baby phat bucket hatts, and pink timberlands.

Lorenzo's Scale:

|0--1--2--3--4--5--6--7--LadyShady--8--9--10|

[lorenzolamas]

iamsamurai: What in Renegade's motorcycle is this? I will buy you a plane ticket to Colombine, Denver, so you can feel at home. The blue hair seems to be an attempt to draw attention to yourself. If it werent for the top of your watermelon looking like Papa Smurf threw up on it, you would fade into oblivion. You are clearly overweight and the fact that your sitting infront of a bowl of food, is no big suprise. I dont see mountains, trail mix, or elk anywhere so the L.L Bean fleece should be thrown into the incinerator. Your skin care is also poor, you should meet up with DarrelG and shop for cleansers. Now please get off the stage and never try to show up infront of me again.

Lorenzo's Scale:

|0--iamsamurai--1--2--3--4--5--6--7--8--9--10|

[lorenzolamas]

This is a clear example of what happens when a pregnant mother stand infront of the microwave for too long waiting for her jiffy pop. I dont know if I should be scared, or cry lauging. SexxyH, I see some serious irony in your "nick name". Please revise it ASAP. You are probably the most mal nurished, pale, ghoul I've seen in a while. I dont know what went through your head when out of all the people you could have selected that you told your stylist to make you look like Macy Gray. Aside from quite possibly the worst hair style in 2004, you have a big nose, and look like a starving boy from Moscow standing in line for a loaf of bread. Try to avoid posting pictures in the future, it will help us out alot.

Lorenzo's Scale:

|0--1--2-SexxyH--3--4--5--6--7--8--9--10|

[HAZE]

Oh Christ, Rizzo showed his gay lover the Clubplanet website.

[SuGaRNSpIcE]

oh god , is that who it is???

[lorenzolamas]

Exscuse me DarrellG, who is Rizzo? I havent seen his picture yet, and I dont like gays, so I doubt he is HOT. As for you, why are you still posting. I told you to buy Cetaphil, and cleanse properly. Try lifting some weights to help those flabby arms turn into muscles like mine.

sugarnspice69: Please wait your turn. I will have my laser pointer on you in a few, so dont jump que.

[captainpec]

You should start a seperate thread for "Lorenzo's reviews" :laugh:

[SuGaRNSpIcE]

ooooooooooooohhhh.................... i cant fuckin wait

[lorenzolamas]

Phatman: You resemble the unfunny comedian Dave Attell if he spent 2 weeks in Transylvania. I understand this is a nightlife messageboard, and what not, but what the hell are you doing here? You look like a Civil War buff, who is trying to re-live his teen years. The treadmill isnt your worst enemy. Use it. Propecia is a revolutionary product which actually works, give it a shot pops. You are not hot at all, and look like the father of most of these ladies.

Lorenzo's Scale:

|0--Phatman--1--2--3--4--5--6--7--8--9--10|

[lorenzolamas]

scoob-e: A helpful hint from a A-Lister like myself. If you post pictures make sure they are always good looking quality ones. The audience does NOT want to see someone tuck and roll out of his college dorm bunkbed, throw on the dirty Cabana Lou shirt worn 2 years ago during Spring Break with one sleeve half way rolled up, and a beer gut that could bounce nickles off. Do something with your eyebrows, they look like they are wrapping around your head. The scruff look works for some, like myself, but not you, Mach 3 it, with a soft aloe vera shaving gel. Is it just my beautiful eyes, or does that look like a Labret piercing? I hope thats some sort of a piece of tin foil hiding a zit because the ring goes against your vagabond like look

Lorenzo's Scale:

|0--1--2--3--4--scoob-e--5--6--7--8--9--10|

[lorenzolamas]

The "Squad": This picture made me chuckle just a bit. The kid is sleeping and Shauna gets pissed when I wake her up. This "posse" looks like 4 totally opposite people mashed together to go out.

Visor Vinny: We are not in Acapulco. God I miss those days...anways, I dont see bikini's, sun, and coronas. There is no need to whip out the Capitan Kangaroo visor and cross your flabby fat arms into some sort of a hardcore pose. Little Celeb tip: T shirts make the fat look fatter, you and Bandana Brett should have swapped.

Bandana Brett: Is it just me or does this guys facial expression read "why the fuck am i with these guys?". Once again, I really hope they are in Cancun, or Ibiza, because its just plain wrong to dress like that unless your 250 pounds of Creatine enhanced fake tanning muscle, which he is clearly not. Hard to review anything else based on the picture.

Aardvark Andy: Name comes from that shotgun barrel of a nose. This charachter looks like he gets strip searched at every airport he goes to. Must suck. I have a private jet, might want to look into that. Typical no style " I will wear a Armani button down open with a fruit of the loom underneath and a cheap chain. Shauna hates that look. Andy looks like he should hit the gym and try to gain some muscle. Sneakers to the outfit also throw it off.

John Gaymos: hahah! sorry John Stamos, just kidding buddy, we still meeting up for drinks tomorrow night? call my cell man. As with any guy squad, there always has to be the best looking guy. John Gaymos is actually not that bad, but compared to the other 3, Chuck Norris would look like....ME! HAHA! I hate you Norris, dont ever let me see you outside Nobu.

Lorenzo's Overall Squad Scale:

|0--1--2--3--4--5--Squad (Andy/Vinny bring it down)--6--7--8--9--10|

[lorenzolamas]

thrillfire: You look European. Am I correct? I almost always am. Thats why I am an expert and a celebrity. Anyways, you should loose some more weight in your face. It is rather big in proportion to your body. The body is not bad. A bit more definition but its size is good. Nose a bit big. I can refer you to a good Star Surgeon with Mystify22. Stay away from foods with high sodium as they kill any definition in your face. And make friends with Mr. Treadmill. Makeup wouldnt hurt either.

Lorenzo's Scale:

|0--1--2--3--4--5--6--thrillfire--7--8--9--10|

[lorenzolamas]

erica127: You remind me of one of George Lucas's characters "Ewok". Something about your face just doesnt settle with my A-List eyes. Its just too masculine and rough. You look very short and stout. Makes me wanna sing that tea cup song! Too far too get a good read on the face but the body as I said is chunky. Too many Krispy Kreme at night? Maybe one too many gyros after LimeLight or whatever you kids do these days. Your legs are also thick and should loose some fat around them. They are similar to that of a Clydsdale horse, except I dont think you want a 4"9 mexican jockey riding you,...or do you.The pose you two broke down is totaly rediculous and should never be attempted again EVER.

Lorenzo's Scale:

|0--1--2--3--4--erica127--5--6--7--8--9--10|

[thrillfire]

:laugh: :laugh:

thanx... i'll keep that in mind...

[lorenzolamas]

i3itch: As I say, take every picture like its your best and last. This one unfortunatly is very sloppy. You look like Orphan Annie drenched in grease. I recomend BioSilk conditioner for your hair, and wash it 2-4 times a week. You want those natural oils but dont go overboard where your head could grease up an entire cookie pan. The face is rather large, and with no definition. Evil grin. Smile nicely next time. My kid loves beavers, If I paid you 5000 dollars to fly out and chew on some bark while they all laugh and clap would you accept? Think about it!

Lorenzo's Scale:

|0--1--2--3--4--5--6--i3itch--7--8--9--10|

[lorenzolamas]

lolahotass: Where to start. The bird nest/scarecrow look was never really in. I think my good pal Sebastian Bach tried it once, but we all laughed at him. Way too much forehead. I never thought the forehead was a erotic feature and this just re-affirmed it. Try to comb or pull or whatever some of those tentacles over your forehead, and use a hot iron to straighten it out. Listen to me and become sexy. Face is rather feminine, which is good. We have seen some Mathau mugs here so its refreshing. Loose about 15 pounds, style the hair properly, and try some light makeup and you have potential at local sports pubs. Good Luck.

Lorenzo's Scale:

|0--1--2--3--4--5--6--lolahotass--7--8--9--10|

[fouroneone]

.

[lorenzolamas]

gmcookny: Not much to say here. Im suprised you had the balls to sign up for the show and step onto the stage. I still dont understand why there are so many "nerds" on a Club Board. Arent you kids supposed to be hot, trendy, party goers? Your pores are awful. I suspect you had bad acne as a teenager, and did nothing to treat it. Accutane could have worked before but now its a failure. Try to get chemical peels ever so often, moisturize often, and use a soft skin cleanser. Its still not to late to try and not look like a Drakes Coffe Cake. Get some contact lenses unless you want to look like a nerd. If so then thats O.K. A white person should never throw up any sort of a hand sign unless its the devil horns, which I used to abuse back in 89 during backstage orgies with Brett Michaels and his groupies, and the middle finger. Other than that please stop, you look stupid even though you are "joking". Your face is ugly, not attractive, no potential. Lets hope you become a computer genious and make $ or are hung like Peter North, who still owes me that bet! haha I didnt forget Pete!!

Lorenzo's Scale:

|0--gmcookny--1--2--3--4--5--6--7--8--9--10|