well first off, i dont get why you need time off because of stress in your lives. i mean, you say she's the one....say you do end up marrying this woman, do you plan on taking a break during your marriage due to stress in your lives?? youre supposed to work through problems in your relationship, despite what they are, if you truly want to be/stay with this person. thats just my opinion but anyway, as for whether or not you should have a fling or not, do what you feel comfortable with. if you want a fling, then do it, if not then dont simple as that, just remember everything has consequences ...however, i would tell her what happens. she will find out, that usually happens, and chances are that she'll be pissed. besides if she's "the one", and you plan on being with her again in the future, theres the comfort level and trust aspect to be able to tell the other person anything... therefore, the secrets arent necessary.