blazinhot

I took the test and got 39 too! Is that the only answer the quiz gives out. Sex with midgets, hmmm, and a cape, interesting,,,

:laugh: Thats too classy.

Been there, done that, twice. No big deal though, it was a nice change. :D

hmmm, well: On a public playground On the roof (and trunk) of a car In a lake (broad day-light, hehehehe) Behind a community center at a wedding Yup, I think thats all that I can think of.

That was my fav one too,, I laughed my ass off, still am!! :laugh: Go ahead and use it, i didn't make it up

Thats not real gizz,, ITS SUPER GLUE

I'm not posistive but I think a girl gets this done if she has bad camel toe Bust out the meat cleaver!

I got this in an email.. pretty spooky: Grab a calculator. Between 1 and 9, how many times do you want to have sex with me this week? Double your number and add 5, to be realistic. Multiply by 50 cuz I'm so damn cute. If you've already had your birthday this year, add 1752. If you haven't had your birthday this year, add 1751. Subtract the year you were born from this number. The first number is how many times you said you wanted to fuck me and the last 2 numbers are your age. Pretty cool huh?!!

I like that song: Vonda Sheppard (and the guy that was from Ally McBeal) I know, I'm a suck

Aww, you so damn cute!! I love you already!

I've seen that b4, either in an email or rotten.com or something. That had to have been photo-shopped cuz I can't see anyone stand there with a dick caught in the shower waiting for the person to take the pic. That's just nuts ,, no pun intended.

Hey Quest, I'm new to the board too so don't be asking me any help on anything!! hehehehe Until we meet again,,

Speaking from a girls point of view, I got a lap dance a few months ago, first one. It was awkward at first. She was really cool though and sensed my nervousness so she sparked up a conversation with me first. It was great though. I don't know if they normally let the guys touch them but she had no problems in allowing me to touch her. I would definitely do it again, and again and again hehehehe :tongue:

wtf???????????? :blank: :blank: :blank:

Not too sure if this has been posted b4 so if it has I apologize, but it's still funny ;) NATIONAL CONDOM MONTH SLOGANS 1) Cover your stump before you hump 2) Before you attack her, wrap your whacker 3) Don't be silly, protect your Willie 4) When in doubt shroud you spout 5) Don't be a loner, cover your boner 6) You can't go wrong, if you shield your dong 7) If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it 8) If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey 9) It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter 10) If you slip between her thighs, condomize 11) She won't get sick if you wrap your dick 12) If you go into heat, package your meat 13) While your undressing Venus, dress up your penis 14) When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your mouse 15) Especially in December, gift wrap your member 16) Never ever deck her, with an unwrapped pecker 17) Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool 18) The right selection, is to protect your erection 19) Wrap it in foil, before you check her oil 20) A crank with armor, will never harm her 21) If you really love her, wear a cover 22) Don't make a mistake, cover your snake 23) Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener 24) If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket 25) No glove, no love 26) If you think she'll sigh, cover old one eye 27) Even If she's eager, protect her beaver 28) No one likes a horses ass, protect yourself at climax 29) Shield her from the hunt until you shoot her in the cunt 30) Avoid a frown, contain your clown 31) Harness the pygmy man before entering the bearded clam 32) Constrain the little head before you stick it in the shed 33) Put a condom on your dink before you dart it in her sink 34) The weasel you must surround before you please her on the ground 35) Cloak the joker before you poke her 36) Encase that torch before you paint her porch 37) Cape your throbber before you bob her 38) After detection sheath your erection 39) Before you penetrate hide your magistrate 40) Don't surprise her plug your Geyser 41) Cover that lumber before you pump her 42) Protect her wrinkle before you sprinkle 43) She won't bristle if you wrap your whistle 44) House your noodle then release your strudel 45) Put your dog in the pound and make her yelp like a hound 46) Shelter your jerky then nab that turkey 47) Cage that snake then shake and bake 48) Cover your peter it will be much neater 49) Coat that Labrador then allow him to explore 50) It's always funky to cage your monkey 51) It won't be funny with a coatless dummy 52) It won't be fun with an unwrapped thumb 53) It's not much money to catch your honey 54) Don't be a fool cover your tool 55) Hood that match then scratch that thatch 56) Stitch that switch then itch her niche 57) Wrap that tool to catch the drool 58) It ain't no jibe to protect her hive 59) Contain that sputum before you use him 60) Restrain your log then plow her bog 61) Glove your pecker before you check her 62) Coat that slimmer before you prime her 63) Condomize then womanize 64) Cover old pete then grind her meat 65) Guard your peter before you meet her 66) Check your list before you tryst 67) Wrap your bate before you mate 68) Can your worm before you squirm 69) Cover your pipe you dumb ass wipe 70) Contain your lizard then tickle her gizzard 71) Bag the mole then do her hole 72) Cuff your carrot before you share it 73) Jail your number then call the plumber 74) Cover your vein then drive her insane 75) Wrap that pickle then slip her a tickle 76) Protect your dink then fluff her mink 77) Restrain your lantern then stick it in her cavern 78) Hide ole harry then take her cherry 79) Wrap that spout then bore her out 80) Conceal your train don't cause her pain 81) Guard your bridge then do her ridge 82) Shroud your trout then make her shout 83) To make her squat like a turkey, cover your Jerky 84) Box your blister then poke her in the whiskers 85) Wrap your spout to catch the trout 86) Plug your funnel then enter the tunnel 87) Cover your steamer before you ream her 88) Protect that fish then dip it in the dish 89) Contain that bass for a swim in her glass 90) Be sure to wear it to feed her ferret 91) Clothe the boner before you hone her 92) Got no protection? Can't use your erection! 93) Cork your pump or you don't hump 94) No unwrapped stags get between my legs 95) Dress that erection to make a deflection 96) Contain that shanker before you spank her 97) Cap that seeder before you breed her 98) Stop the stream before you cream 99) Secure that ladder then drain your bladder 100) Protect your screw to catch that glue 101) Package your meat for a real neat treat 102) Holster your gun then shootings more fun 103) Canvas that trailer before you nail her 104) Garage the tractor then attack her 105) Net that grass hopper before you pop her 106) Sock that wanger before you bang her 107) Pen that rooster, she'll be much looser 108) Trim your hardwood then do her real good 109) Garnish your oak then give her a poke 110) Pouch your associate then go fornicate 111) Smother your affiliate before you ejaculate 112) Confine your fascinate before it regurgitates 113) Catch that goat before it bloats 114) Ensnare that barbarian then do her abdomen 115) Restrain your hammer then wam bam her 116) Prune that stalk then make her squawk 117) Wrap that rod then please her bod 118) Sheath that knife she ain't your wife 119) House that bottle then mash her throttle 120) Sash that hash then thrash that gash 121) Cover your diddle then fiddle her middle 122) Can your knob then throb her swab 123) Contain old Doug then clean her rug 124) Cover your limb before you swim 125) Retain your bailer then impail her 126) Rope your dope then make some soap 127) Net your salamander then make salad in her 128) Cap your flapper then sniff her snapper 129) Wrap that Steed then trample her weeds 130) Hat that chef then scramble her cleft 131) Cover your stone before you bone 132) House your hose then curl her toes 133) Saddle your penis then straddle her mean ass 134) Blanket your twitch then hump that bitch 135) Shield your rocks then pond her box 136) Cover old sly then do her dry 137) Wrap your rail then fill her pail 138) Glove your chimney before you come in me 139) If your nude tube your dude 140) Cloak your hitter then go split her 141) Wrap your nipper before you dip her 142) Can your spam then bam that mam 143) Corral your ram then slice her ham 144) Sheath your sliver then jab her liver 145) Twist your wick then stick that prick 146) Cover old Bart then dart her tart 147) Shed old spot then do her slot 148) Drawer your pip then split her lips 149) Contain that leach then mash her peach 150) Bag your elm then take the helm 151) Constrain your gem to catch the flem 152) Catch that head cheese or I won't spread these 153) Constrain that agate you ain't no faggot 154) Survey your land then plant her stand 155) Before you drive her protect that diver 156) Sack that slimy smelt then tan her beaver pelt 157) Wrap that stiffer then let him sniff her 158) Cover you post then slice her roast 159) Blanket old juicy then plug old loosey 160) Balloon your baboon then moon tune her poon 161) Contain that viper before you pipe her 162) Tub that sub then rub her hub 163) Wrap Mr. Clean then introduce her spleen 164) Dam your giver then fill her quiver

Rules that men wished women knew.. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up put it down. 3. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present once again. 4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 5. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. 6. Saturday = Football. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 7. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel fluff, Christmas Tree formation and carburettors. 8. Shopping is not a sport. 9. Anything you wear is fine. Really. 10. You have enough clothes. 11. You have too many shoes. 12. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work. 13. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. 14. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes. 15. Most guys own two or three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 16. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers. 17. A headache that lasts for 17 days is a problem. See a doctor. 18. Your Mum doesn't have to be our best friend. 19. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived. 20. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.All comments become null and void after 7 days. 21. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one. 22. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are? 23. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. 24.You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done,not both. 25. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 26. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, neither do we.

"Was it good for you?" ==> "I'm insecure about my manhood. "I want a commitment." ==> "I'm sick of masturbation." "I had a wonderful time last night." ==> "Who the hell are you?" "I've been thinking a lot." ==> "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk." "I'll give you a call." ==> "I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again." "I'm a Romantic." ==> "I'm poor." "I think we should just be friends." ==> "You're ugly." "Haven't I seen you before?" ==> "Nice ass." "I have something to tell you." ==> "Get tested." No, I don't want to dance right now ==> Shoot! She'll know she gave me a woody! The break-up should not start 'til tomorrow ==> I want to have sex a few more times. You're the only girl I've ever cared about==> You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me. We've been through so much together ==> If it was not for you, I never would have lost my virginity. "I've learned a lot from you." ==> "Next!!!!" "I need you" ==> My hand is tired. "I want you back" ==> ...for tonight anyway. "I am different from all the other guys" ==> I am not circumsized. "I miss you so much" ==> I am so horny that my roommate is starting to look good. "Want to snuggle?" ==> I noticed you were almost asleep. "Do you love me?" ==> I've done something stupid and you might find out. "Do you *really* love me? ==> I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later. "How much do you love me?" ==>I've done something *really* stupid and someone's on their way to tell you now. "It's just orange juice, try it." ====> 3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head. "She's kinda cute." ====> I want to have sex with her till I am blue. "I don't know if I like her" ====> She won't sleep with me. "I really want to get to know you better." ====> So I can tell my friends about it. "How do I compare with all you other boyfriends?" ====> Is my penis really that small? "The car isn't running right." ===>I want a bigger engine and more knobs to play with. "My tools are obsolete." ==> I can't figure out how to work the old ones and the commercial says even a chimp can use the new ones. "I know where I am." ==> Oh God! Where the HELL am I? "I need new shoes ==> The pair that I've had since high school fell apart in the rain. "The remote is broken." ==> Come here wherever you are and change the channel for me. "I'm hungry." ====> Make me something to eat "This kitchen is so inconvenient." ==> I can't see the tv from here. "The dishwasher is full." ==> I've run out of places to hide the dirty dishes. "It's your decision." ==> I'm totally clueless, so you decide and I'll just take half the credit. "We need to talk." ==> I need to complain. "Sure,... go ahead." ==> I don't want you to....but.... I'll use this next time we fight, to show how supportive I am. "You're,... so feminine." (Actually a Question) ==> Do you do laundry...cook...windows...bake? "Let's be romantic... turn out the lights." ==> Beer gut? What beer gut...Ohh....uh..o. "You want..." ==> I know what you should want. "We need..." ==> I want. "Do what you want and sulk." ==> I'll just sit on the couch. I'm feeling romantic tonight. ==> There's no game on tonight. I'm not emotional! And I'm not over-reacting! ==> I'm losing my hair. "I had her." ==> I had (wet dreams about) her all week.

"I'M GOING FISHING" Translated: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety." "IT'S A GUY THING" Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical". "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?" "UH HUH", "SURE, HONEY", OR "YES, DEAR" Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response. "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Translated: "I have no idea how it works." "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND." Translated: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra." "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD". Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner." "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." Translated: "Are you still talking?" "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, ... but I forgot your birthday." "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES". Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe." "OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt." "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING". Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon." "I CAN'T FIND IT." Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless." "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Translated: "What did you catch me at?" "I HEARD YOU." Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me." "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE." Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse." "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving." "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again." "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK." Translated: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

And a little strip tease,,,

Alright, now his is your turn to post some funnies to get the ball rolling today,, Make me laugh!

huh? ,,, it's alright, a girl can day-dream! I'm sure a lot of the women (models, actresses) that are mint are into the famous and rich guys too but everyone is intitled to a little fantasy. Its the spice of life! :D

I don't think anyone actually cares, it's just a conversation peice.

Alright,, I'm feeling like a little 12 yeasr old writing this stuff but since you wanted to know: "Pop queen Britney Spears fled for cover after having urine thrown at her as she filmed a TV ad. The star was bombed with buckets of urine by angry neighbours as she sang on location in the early hours of the morning, according to the News of the World. Residents staged their protest at around 4am in downtown Los Angeles, hurling bucket-loads at the 21-year-old singer as she performed in the street below. Fled for cover The star fled for cover in a nearby trailer and filming was abandoned shortly afterwards, the paper reports. One resident reportedly said: "Sure, I opened the window and yelled shut-up - but I would never have done such a vile thing." But the resident added: "We kept hearing the same song over and over but what made it worse were two 100ft spotlights. They lit up our apartment like it was daytime. Started screaming "Lots of people in the block opened their windows and started screaming at her. "Britney certainly didn't deserve the bucket treatment. She's a brilliant singer ... but perhaps not when you're trying to get to sleep". " ====================== And also: Britney denies split Millions of male hearts break again Britney Spears has denied that her relationship with Justin Timberlake is at an end. ‘We’re not splitting up,’ she told MTV in an interview. It was reported that Britney and Justin had separated because of the huge media pressure on them. Some said that the speculation about their love life was too much, and some reports claimed that the fact that their schedules force them to spend more and more time apart had been problematic.

Thats true apparantly, Justin is all mine! j/k. She's not having much luck - first the break up then the buckets of piss dumped on her in a shoot. hehehehe

I think the I.Q level has dropped a couple of steps in this thread,, heard the term "young girls = smell like pee" Jeesh.