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sassa

Is religion/nationality a factor when dating someone to you?

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i don't think so... i think it's great when you date someone who isn't so much like you, you can learn and grow a lot from it.....

for example........ i'm protestant and my bf is jewish and it's really interesting to me learning all about his religion.... i even can say a few things/phrases in hebrew lol - we just DO NOT talk about christmas/jesus bc we will always be at odds on that topic........

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Nationality/race/religion has never been a factor for me. However, its the disapproving family members that have been a problem. Its hard to remain in a relationship, no matter how good it is, when you're getting pressured to end it.

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Originally posted by mala

Nationality/race/religion has never been a factor for me. However, its the disapproving family members that have been a problem. Its hard to remain in a relationship, no matter how good it is, when you're getting pressured to end it.

this sounds like my mum's family....they keeps telling me they will be very very disappointed if i don't end up marrying a certain guy from a certain religion and a certain ethnic background....:blank:

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Originally posted by sassa

this sounds like my mum's family....they keeps telling me they will be very very disappointed if i don't end up marrying a certain guy from a certain religion and a certain ethnic background....:blank:

Yeah....my Dad once offered to buy me a car if I stopped dating this one guy. Pretty horrible. I'm older now, so I've learned to date whoever I like and let my family just deal. You can't let your family run your life forever. One day they will all be in the grave and you're gonna be the one left to face the decisions you've made in life.

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i was thinking about this recently, too.

having grown up in nyc and having attended a progressive and very liberal school, then going to art school for college, just about everyone i grew up with and now know is atheist. i now work with a 20-year-old who calls gay people "sinners," and i'm shocked that anyone in 2002 can say that (shit, i'm shocked anyone can feel they can say that after a long time ago - though he is from kansas). we had a discussion about where all of my gay friends are supposedly going when they die ( :flame::devil: , if you couldn't figure that out), and it made me wonder if all the people i know who believe in god feel this way.

this is a kid i work with - the next generation (or something like that) - and he looks like a normal person without hatred on the outside. but if calling one's love for god something that goes hand in hand with the hatred of homosexuals, i think i may have to disassociate from those who believe in whomever it is they're talking about.

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yeah, i think religion is a big issue, especially in a committed relationship. im an atheist/agnostic, i would like someone who is the same. i would like to discuss things and see eye to eye on some issues. i dont think i could see a person raised religiously the same way as i would see someone who formed their own views. i was a philosophy major, it is important to me that a person questions their beliefs.

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i agree that religion is a VERY important topic....

me and my bf hate the fact that we cannot compromise ... but we also figure we're only 21 and 24..... so we have time to figure stuff out IF we want to stay together.... we're young still.....

with his family, he MUST marry a jewish woman or a converted jew.... on the other hand, i just don't know if i would even WANT to convert.....

this gets me frustrated whenever i or we think about it........

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Originally posted by mystify82281

i agree that religion is a VERY important topic....

me and my bf hate the fact that we cannot compromise ... but we also figure we're only 21 and 24..... so we have time to figure stuff out IF we want to stay together.... we're young still.....

with his family, he MUST marry a jewish woman or a converted jew.... on the other hand, i just don't know if i would even WANT to convert.....

this gets me frustrated whenever i or we think about it........

:laugh: fuck that. end it now. are you really gonna raise your kids jewish to please his family??? give me a break. he should tell his family to fuck off and accept you for who you are or he will do as he pleases. also, to convert religions to something just to be with someone is the dumbest thing i have ever heard. convert if you believe NOT because you want to marry someone. i personally wouldnt want to raise my kids with any religious upbringing, i would have huge issues with that, i wouldnt even consider converting. its the people who succumb to such nonsense that make me wanna :puke:

im going to hell. :woah::devil:

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It doesnt make a difference to me, but I know certain members of my family will talk bad about people from different religions or nationalities and vice versa...... But no one can tell me who I can and can not see.

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Originally posted by somebitch

:laugh: fuck that. end it now. are you really gonna raise your kids jewish to please his family??? give me a break. he should tell his family to fuck off and accept you for who you are or he will do as he pleases. also, to convert religions to something just to be with someone is the dumbest thing i have ever heard. convert if you believe NOT because you want to marry someone. i personally wouldnt want to raise my kids with any religious upbringing, i would have huge issues with that, i wouldnt even consider converting. its the people who succumb to such nonsense that make me wanna :puke:

im going to hell. :woah::devil:

...you know for someone that does not really maintain a religion, you sure seem quite taken with the topic...what you need to keep in mind is exactly what this thread is drawing attention to - value...the value of religion versus love versus family...etc...what's more, if you can find a relationship where there is no compromise by either party, i will bake you cake...

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compromise is necessary... changing your views of life completely to please someone else is not. i am who i am because i accept things a certain way. i question and search for truth/fact instead of choosing to believe. i will not say i am something i am not to please someone.

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Originally posted by somebitch

compromise is necessary... changing your views of life completely to please someone else is not. i am who i am because i accept things a certain way. i question and search for truth/fact instead of choosing to believe. i will not say i am something i am not to please someone.

I agree with you 100%. I would not change everything I have grown to believe in or have faith in for anyone.

These are the things that mold and shape you as a person;to throw that all away is absurd.

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Originally posted by somebitch

yeah, i think religion is a big issue, especially in a committed relationship. im an atheist/agnostic, i would like someone who is the same. i would like to discuss things and see eye to eye on some issues. i dont think i could see a person raised religiously the same way as i would see someone who formed their own views. i was a philosophy major, it is important to me that a person questions their beliefs.

I feel very similarly... I am not religious at all, although I am exploring avenues of spirituality... I don't have a problem dating someone who is religious, but I find that all too often those who are, swallow too much of what is presented to them as *fact* without first taking the time to question and digest it... imo blind faith equals intellectual death. I highly doubt that I would be able to have a serious relationship with anyone who was very religious.

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Originally posted by somebitch

compromise is necessary... changing your views of life completely to please someone else is not. i am who i am because i accept things a certain way. i question and search for truth/fact instead of choosing to believe. i will not say i am something i am not to please someone.

...not even for a home made cake?...just playing the "devil"'s advocate...i consider myself a spiritual person, not religious...i questioned my religion and beliefs a long time ago...and studied philosophy and religion throughout college...i would concur in the sense that you should not compromise who you are...BUT...i also think when the right person comes along, you'd be surprised at what you would consider if not indeed do for love...

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Originally posted by phatman

...not even for a home made cake?...just playing the "devil"'s advocate...i consider myself a spiritual person, not religious...i questioned my religion and beliefs a long time ago...and studied philosophy and religion throughout college...i would concur in the sense that you should not compromise who you are...BUT...i also think when the right person comes along, you'd be surprised at what you would consider if not indeed do for love...

i guess so but like tasty said:

imo blind faith equals intellectual death. I highly doubt that I would be able to have a serious relationship with anyone who was very religious.

i feel the same way.

i also want somenoe who is educated about philosophy and religion and enjoys eastern religion & spirituality more than the conformist shit/brainwashing we call religion here. i cannot be with someone who is a sheep. ;)

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. . . I was raised both Jewish and Catholic at the same time (Mom being converted Catholic and Dad being Jewish) . . My Parents never, however made either me or my sister really 'choose' and the strict adherance to either side was left up to us . . I, for the most part, am non religious almost completely. . I do however, like celebrating the holidays just cuz it gives me a reason to get together and feast and be merry with the family . . I dunno, I guess i get into the whole spirit of things, I just don't blindly follow the tenets that both sides lay out for me. . . .

. . I do however, like many of the folklore stories that teach a lesson about how to treat other human beings . . . Problem is, people follow the tenets laid out in those stories, not because its just a good thing to treat others well, but as what 'GOD' says is the only right thing to do . . . Which, in the hands of the wrong zealot, can be morphed into a reason to 'HATE' those who do not follow the word of 'GOD' . . and thats the problem with it . . . I used to constantly get accosted by the Southern Baptists on my way into Barnes and Noble because of it as well . . . They immediately called me a 'faggot sinner' because I was patronizing a store that supposedly sold, in their eyes, child pornography . .

. . Now, anyone who reads books on a regular basis knows that aint true, but its a perfect case of religion improperly applied . . .

. . .:aright: . . .

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Originally posted by somebitch

i also want somenoe who is educated about philosophy and religion and enjoys eastern religion & spirituality more than the conformist shit/brainwashing we call religion here. i cannot be with someone who is a sheep. ;)

haha..that's what i studied in college...now you can tutor me in beer and we can discuss taoism, buddhism, etc...;)

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Its not a factor for me, I could care less. My family on the other hand is a different story. I keep hearing the "Why can't you date a nice polish/catholic man?" As long as I'm happy it shouldnt matter. My family starts fights with me on this topic every once in awhile, my grandmother especially is the worst at this. I say my piece, explain that its my life, then I just let her go on, and try to remember that when she was my age, very rarely someone dated outside of their nationality/race/ or religion.

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Originally posted by somebitch

yeah, i think religion is a big issue, especially in a committed relationship. im an atheist/agnostic, i would like someone who is the same. i would like to discuss things and see eye to eye on some issues. i dont think i could see a person raised religiously the same way as i would see someone who formed their own views. i was a philosophy major, it is important to me that a person questions their beliefs.

Which are you? Atheist or agnostic?

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