phatman Posted September 30 Report Share Posted September 30 ...i have a few but i'll start with someone else's i heard today...One of my client's is in construction - a foreman for a big company. They happen to be on the job in South Carolina working on a Home Depot or something. Now they happen to have some young interns lending a hand at the time. Well one of the main guys is close to a set of shelves that go crashing down while an intern was working on them. Shit scatters everywhere - but they're both fine. My client just starts fuming and starts yelling at the intern, "You motherfucker. What the fuck is wrong with you? Two hands, you idiot! Use two hands to support that if you feel it coming down!"And with that, the intern turned around and held out both arms, revealing he was missing one hand. "I would if I could....I would if I could..." and ran away in tears...it all worked out in the end but man, o man what this guy must have felt when he saw this kid throw out his arms.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghhhhhost Posted September 30 Report Share Posted September 30 oh shit..Let naughtybabe tell u a story when me..her..n solbeam worked in retail together like 2 yrs ago...about a kid with a deformed hand...all i gotta say is thank god I didnt say it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felix_Leiter Posted September 30 Report Share Posted September 30 GAP ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghhhhhost Posted September 30 Report Share Posted September 30 yes sir...i miss my banana discount man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naughtybabe Posted September 30 Report Share Posted September 30 Originally posted by ghhhhhost oh shit..Let naughtybabe tell u a story when me..her..n solbeam worked in retail together like 2 yrs ago...about a kid with a deformed hand...all i gotta say is thank god I didnt say it Omg I'm not saying it either... Poor Pierre.. I have never felt so bad.. He was so cute. I dont think he heard the comment tho.. (I hope he didnt)Box you douche.. Must you constantly bring up things of that sort?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghhhhhost Posted September 30 Report Share Posted September 30 damn yo y u gota say the kids name n shit??...why dont u post his tag n shit..report him to Vandal Squad...ehhehe..u said it man..and he did hear it...poor kid..u hurt him so Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felix_Leiter Posted September 30 Report Share Posted September 30 what did Wendy say about the kid with the deformed hand when she used to work at Gap? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naughtybabe Posted September 30 Report Share Posted September 30 Originally posted by ghhhhhost damn yo y u gota say the kids name n shit??...why dont u post his tag n shit..report him to Vandal Squad...ehhehe..u said it man..and he did hear it...poor kid..u hurt him so You stay thinking you popular and shit...You really think people we know stalk your every move? I will say who evers name I want and thats that...And he did not hear it... He heard your loud mouth say "OoOo"You know how I know cause after I went back on the floor hekept talking to me so... there.. stop bringing up oldhorrible stories... You punks never let me live anything down! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phatman Posted September 30 Author Report Share Posted September 30 ...blah to wendy...just fuckin say it...So one time, I am at a clients' corporate retreat. We're all getting loaded at the party and it's my turn to make a drink run. Standing next to me is this rather large woman - I know her from the company - she is a long time employee, and a lesbian. Everyone knew she was gay, but it was never really discussed - no real need. I hesitated to go to the bar as I had some documents in my hand I was attempting to deliver to certain people. This woman offers to hold them while I go to the bar - so for some reason I hesitate but then give her the docs and go get a round. I come back and she hands me the docs and says,"See, they're in perfect condition - no damage done."To which I retort"I see. I don't know what I was thinking. I would trust you with my wife."Long pauseConfused Look"I mean my LIFE...I would trust you with my LIFE..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mssabina Posted September 30 Report Share Posted September 30 :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamme Posted September 30 Report Share Posted September 30 :laugh2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misk Posted September 30 Report Share Posted September 30 ..ok...this wasn't me...but i was there......i think it was freshman year...cause my friends mom was driving us....anyways....we live in a fairly well off town.......with very few less fortunate areas..........sooooooooooooo...we are on our way to drop of 'new girl' lol.....and as we are passing through "said less fortunate area"....my friends MOTHER....bless her heart...says....'this is where those lower income houses are".....followed by...,,"THAT'S MY HOUSE ON THE RIGHT".........I COMPLETELY DIED!.....I PRACTICALLY EXPLODED FROM HOLDING IN THE LAUGHTER!.....3 ANNEURISMS AND A EXPLOSION IN MY AORTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!................needless to say.....my friend's mama was quite red.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
origskeemr Posted September 30 Report Share Posted September 30 Originally posted by misk ..ok...this wasn't me...but i was there......i think it was freshman year...cause my friends mom was driving us....anyways....we live in a fairly well off town.......with very few less fortunate areas..........sooooooooooooo...we are on our way to drop of 'new girl' lol.....and as we are passing through "said less fortunate area"....my friends MOTHER....bless her heart...says....'this is where those lower income houses are".....followed by...,,"THAT'S MY HOUSE ON THE RIGHT".........I COMPLETELY DIED!.....I PRACTICALLY EXPLODED FROM HOLDING IN THE LAUGHTER!.....3 ANNEURISMS AND A EXPLOSION IN MY AORTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!................needless to say.....my friend's mama was quite red.... :laugh: Where was it by Cody? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c-luv Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 Originally posted by misk ..ok...this wasn't me...but i was there......i think it was freshman year...cause my friends mom was driving us....anyways....we live in a fairly well off town.......with very few less fortunate areas..........sooooooooooooo...we are on our way to drop of 'new girl' lol.....and as we are passing through "said less fortunate area"....my friends MOTHER....bless her heart...says....'this is where those lower income houses are".....followed by...,,"THAT'S MY HOUSE ON THE RIGHT".........I COMPLETELY DIED!.....I PRACTICALLY EXPLODED FROM HOLDING IN THE LAUGHTER!.....3 ANNEURISMS AND A EXPLOSION IN MY AORTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!................needless to say.....my friend's mama was quite red.... what??? was i there for this??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
housedog Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 I have one. At my brothers wedding when the videographer wanted me to toast the camera, I congradulated my brother and his ex girlfriend. Whwn they came and showed it, I had no idea I said that. All I could do is apoligze. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weyes Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 there was a not-too-bright guy i had a HUGE crush on at my work a couple of years ago. i always wore my huge raver pants to work since there was absolutely no dress code and nobody cared, and all this guy would ever say to me was, "been to any raves lately?" or things like that. he was kinda shy, too, and didn't know what else to say.the company was having a picnic one weekend - my company was HUGE and it was one of those morale things - and my crush happened to come by my dept. to drop something off. "so, are you gonna go?" he asked. "i hear it's gonna be a big rave!""nah. you don't even have the right clothes to be at a rave," i said. "what i wouldn't give to see you in my pants." i don't know if he really missed the meaning i didn't intend or if he just pretended to, but he didn't say a thing about what happened to be a poor choice of words. my co-workers, on the other hand, who had heard the whole thing, didn't let me live it down for months . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamme Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 Originally posted weyesthere was a not-too-bright guy i had a HUGE crush on at my work a couple of years ago. i always wore my huge raver pants to work since there was absolutely no dress code and nobody cared, and all this guy would ever say to me was, "been to any raves lately?" or things like that. he was kinda shy, too, and didn't know what else to say.the company was having a picnic one weekend - my company was HUGE and it was one of those morale things - and my crush happened to come by my dept. to drop something off. "so, are you gonna go?" he asked. "i hear it's gonna be a big rave!""nah. you don't even have the right clothes to be at a rave," i said. "what i wouldn't give to see you in my pants." i don't know if he really missed the meaning i didn't intend or if he just pretended to, but he didn't say a thing about what happened to be a poor choice of words. my co-workers, on the other hand, who had heard the whole thing, didn't let me live it down for months . too lazy to insert smiliesyou wanna see my pants Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamme Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 In my car, i was driving, the idiot in the passenger seat (lets call him Eddie), sister in back with a friend of hers who is korean (lets call her Kim)....we were waiting for Kim's twin sister at school...School lets out and all these girls come out.....Eddie has forgotten Kim is in the back seat...Eddie: Hey! Is that her? (pointing out an asian girl)Me: NoEddie: How about her? isnt that her? (another asain girl)Me: NoEddie: Fuck, isnt that her? (another asain girl)Me: No, what the hell is wrong with you??Eddie: How the fuck do I know!! They all look exactely the same!!Dead silence, i nearly pissed myself trying not to laugh. what a fucking putz. I think you might have had to been there to appreciate the full embarrassment... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solbeam Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 Originally posted by ghhhhhost oh shit..Let naughtybabe tell u a story when me..her..n solbeam worked in retail together like 2 yrs ago...about a kid with a deformed hand...all i gotta say is thank god I didnt say it wasn't his hand...one arm was shorter than the other... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misk Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 Originally posted by c-luv what??? was i there for this??? ...no ..it was aimee's mom........and JOSH...we were near the........ river Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.