mrtiddles Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 I know how you feel...I went through a very similar situation...except, I forced it for an additional 10 months...don't do it bro...go with your gutplenty of nice women out there...the good ones are ALWAYS hard to find though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weyes Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 relationships are built on a few key components, but trust is a biggie and absolutely essential. without that, you've got no foundation on which to build. getting emotional ties can become your downfall if you don't act while you're still thinking clearly.i don't recommend sexxybabydee's approach with all the "tell her to fuck off" jibberjabber, and i hope by that she just means that you have a right to be upset. it's good to avoid messy breakups and unnecessary unpleasantness, because you'll probably run into her again, and hey, if things can be easier and smoother, that's always the best route to choose. but, one last thing: break up with her in person, not on the phone. everyone deserves that respect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crystalmethod Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 Elements,You're good people... we have similiar personality traits and I value the same you hold.I was never into the dating multiple people at a time thing... people hold this 'playa' status in some sort of high regard, in the long run it just bring you nothing but transparency in relationships and in your soul.However, if you really do care for her... and there are some missing links to the big picture... can you find them before calling it quits? How much do you know of her background, her family, her life? Does she let you in, or are you held at arms length?Ultimately though, if nothing helps and you feel this burning in your stomach... the only true answer to being happy is to walk away and start over with someone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastey Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 i put my bet on the ex-boyfriendand yes, you are too nice. you should have called her right away on it, just for shits and giggles and to see how she reacts. i mean, she definately cheats on you or at least does something you would not approve of. when she said me where she were i would have said "really? cause i just drove by the placed and it was closed"i bet you didn´t clearly say what is important to you in a relationship and what the clear consequences were if one of these "rules" of you was broken (->buh bye)what you also have to consider (a common nice guy trap), is that she used you as bait for her ex to get back together with her again. you know the deal, he broke up with her. she makes herself unavaible, tells him she now loves someone else, gives a challenge to the guy, teases a little, then lets him "conquer" her back. she got what she wanted. on expence of the nice guy of course... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexxyme Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 Originally posted by djjonstephen ding ding ding Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ou812 Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 Originally posted by tastey i put my bet on the ex-boyfriendand yes, you are too nice. you should have called her right away on it, just for shits and giggles and to see how she reacts. i mean, she definately cheats on you or at least does something you would not approve of. when she said me where she were i would have said "really? cause i just drove by the placed and it was closed"i bet you didn´t clearly say what is important to you in a relationship and what the clear consequences were if one of these "rules" of you was broken (->buh bye)what you also have to consider (a common nice guy trap), is that she used you as bait for her ex to get back together with her again. you know the deal, he broke up with her. she makes herself unavaible, tells him she now loves someone else, gives a challenge to the guy, teases a little, then lets him "conquer" her back. she got what she wanted. on expence of the nice guy of course... That was brilliant.............that just reminded me, this same exact scenario happened to me once back when I was 19. Was about the same time frame too, about 2 months going together, got back with her ex under my nose. That biatch. Sexybabyd is right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felix_Leiter Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 dont worry Scott...she doesnt deserve you....just think it was only 2 months..it just wasnt meant to be...but youll find the one...i promise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elementx Posted October 1 Author Report Share Posted October 1 Originally posted by weyes but, one last thing: break up with her in person, not on the phone. everyone deserves that respect. Trust me. I agree with you on that one... But I have not seen her much at all lately... She told me about 2 weeks ago that things have been moving too fast and she is not ready for all this... I said fine if you are affraid fine... But I cannot understand how people just stop things... Don't you just go by how you feel instead of putting up a barrier... For the first month or so we were together we would see each other almost 7 days a week... Not always a good thing. But that is how it worked out. No problems till about a month and a half went by and I started noticing changes... So eventually I was like what is the deal. Why have you been kinda avoiding me lately. That is when she told me things were moving too fast... (Usually you can break that down too the nice way of saying there is someone else in my life but I dont want to lose you just in case things on the other end go sour)I don't know why people confuse my nice personality for stupidity. I know when things are not going right. And I know when something is up. I happen to be very observant and sometimes over observant. So at one point I told her. Fine things are moving too fast. But how do you turn around and slow them down. I said you are looking for one thing out of this and I am looking for another. And with that is where all the arguments started... And to tell you the truth. I am not trying to rush life. But I am 25. I am not looking for a fling... Yeah I still want to enjoy life. But I do not want to waste my time on someone who is not going to be around for very long nor on someone who I constantly wonder where she is. For me it just isnt worth it... Life is full of stresses already. Relationships should relieve some of that stress not add to it. Here is a situation last week... Now mind you. She has gone out with her friends on a few occasions... I am not one to run a ladies life. You wanna go out with your friends. By all means go ahead. But do not get upset when I do... Do not take advantage of my not having a problem with you doing it. And do not make it a mistake on my part... So last Friday she calls me at work. Mind you she was away from Thursday into Friday morning visiting a friend up at school (Supposedly) still not sure about anything anymore... Anyway she calls me Friday while I am at work. And I am like a friend of mine called me and wanted to know if I wanted to go out with all the guys to a bar/club on Staten Island. So I figured I may as well go along with them. Who knows what my lady has planned. Well to make a long story short she flips out... She is like " I do not understand you. You tell me you want to spend time with me and then when I am around you go out with your friends " So here I am like WOAH You were just away for 2 days. You go out when you please. And here I am the first time since we have been together I go out with my friends... And you are flipping out... So she is like " I am not mad that you are going out at all. I just dont get how you can complain about never seeing each other and then when we have the oppertunity you wind up going out anyway " So I told her. With her it has been hit or miss lately and I just figured I am not gonna get stuck home on a Friday night. Some fuckin people are just nuts... This story I am writing turned out to be HUGE... And I have to go get ready for work... TOO BE CONTINUED AS THE SAGA CONTINUES.......Alot of you people know how many hours I put in at the office. So I do not get out much anymore. And when the oppertunity arrises and I am able to do it. I make sure I do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fineones Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 wow scott sorry to hear....it seemed from ur post all was going well...but i guess it wasnt meant to be..the sad thing about relationships...is the come with a side of DRAMA...but somtimes drama leads u to making the right decision next time...so i guess good luck next time my man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fliptoniaaa Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 you will be fffiiinnnneeeeee............nest year at this time it'll be just a distant memory of some girl u dated!!!!!!!!!!!i say this stop putting so much importance on being in a relationship....and that goes for all of us!!!!!!!!!!!!having to be with some1 is so much more overrated than what they lead us to believe in this society!!!!!!!!!if u can get a good group of riends u can talk with about anything ull be o.k. but we r lead to believe we should only be like that with one person from the opposite sex....which is crap!!!!!!just worry about u being happy....and as long as u can get some sex in there somewhere ull be just fine......so heres to good times for u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastey Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 I don't know why people confuse my nice personality for stupiditypeople do not confuse "nice personality" with stupidity, they confuse it with WEAKNESS (which is a true assumption for most "nice guys"). you´re too NICE, she doesn´t want to hurt you and tell you rightout that it´s over or that she´s fucking her ex or some other guy. i hope you fuck her with a condom dude. wait... you two fuck... right??? cause when you haven´t even fucked how can you then call it a relationship... RIGHT?? (just in case you two didn´t fuck. then someone found her that knew how to access her and fucked her quick and *good*. good bye for you then)but seriously, jeeez how many hints you need from her?first she lies to you about her whereabouts, then she says "she is not ready blah blah", "moving to fast blah blah" when you´re already together she either has someone else or something put her off of you. then, after saying that, she spends "a night with an old friend from school". i mean COME ON Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elementx Posted October 1 Author Report Share Posted October 1 Originally posted by tastey people do not confuse "nice personality" with stupidity, they confuse it with WEAKNESS (which is a true assumption for most "nice guys"). you´re too NICE, she doesn´t want to hurt you and tell you rightout that it´s over or that she´s fucking her ex or some other guy. i hope you fuck her with a condom dude. wait... you two fuck... right??? cause when you haven´t even fucked how can you then call it a relationship... RIGHT?? (just in case you two didn´t fuck. then someone found her that knew how to access her and fucked her quick and *good*. good bye for you then)but seriously, jeeez how many hints you need from her?first she lies to you about her whereabouts, then she says "she is not ready blah blah", "moving to fast blah blah" when you´re already together she either has someone else or something put her off of you. then, after saying that, she spends "a night with an old friend from school". i mean COME ON Bro... I am not taking any hints... I already did what I had to do... I am just here explaining the scenario...I observed a few things over a short short time and last night was the final thing to push me over the end... I think the main thing that kept me there for longer than I would have normally stuck around was the sex... It was good and it was on a daily basis... I would go to her house before going to work and get a piece.... I would get laid later on at night... I stated in a thread before that I finally found a woman that can keep up with my sex drive... Unfortunately it turned out the way it did... And yes I did wear a condom... I think there may have been 2 occasions that I did not... Stupid me... Spur of the moment type of thing... Anyway... She called me about 3 times today... I refuse to answer the phone... Cause all I am going to get is the whole guilt thing... Why can't people just accept what has to be done and move on... My cell phone I can ignore... But if and when she decides to call me at work. I cannot ignore that cause I have to pick up the lines. And I can't even have someone screen a call because I am the only one in the office past a certain time... I know it may sound imature to ignore phone calls. But like I said... I just want to forget everything... Out of site out of mind... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felix_Leiter Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 ..fuck the bitch...better fish out there in the sea...just have to keep fishing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastey Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 heh, an interesting turning point in the drama would be that she didn´t get her period.................that would maybe even explain her irrational and out of ordinary behaviour too.... hehehehe i would call and ask her if she´s pregnant. if not, say "good" and hang up. then you got that outta your mind and can safely shoot the bitch to the moon ! but then again, that may be too prickish! she may get attracted through that (hahaha stupid women) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elementx Posted October 1 Author Report Share Posted October 1 Originally posted by tastey heh, an interesting turning point in the drama would be that she didn´t get her period.................that would maybe even explain her irrational and out of ordinary behaviour too.... hehehehe i would call and ask her if she´s pregnant. if not, say "good" and hang up. then you got that outta your mind and can safely shoot the bitch to the moon ! but then again, that may be too prickish! she may get attracted through that (hahaha stupid women) Your too funny... Arrogant at times... But funny... And she is on the pill... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mala Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 Originally posted by sexxybabyd Girls are bitchs and cunts who can't make up their mind about anything or anyone!I hate being a girl sometimes, I wish I could just block out emotions and feelings and just say fuck it and go onbut nooooooooooo we have to deal with this shit!Tell the bitch to fuck off!End of story I don't mean to jack this thread, but I really resent this comment. When you say girls, I hope you mean girls, and not grown women. A young female may be unable to make up her mind, and may string along a guy, but those things come with immaturity. Once a young woman matures a little more, and gets a better sense of her place in the world, and what she wants in life, this behavior should not exist. It is wrong to put all females into one category, because it is an untruth. When you make a comment like "girls are bitches and cunts who can't make up their mind", it perpetuates a notion I simply cannot tolerate. I hope you were just acting on your own emotions and stating what you feel to be the truth about yourself. If not, I hope you'll wise up a bit, and start being a credit to your gender. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elementx Posted October 1 Author Report Share Posted October 1 Originally posted by mala I don't mean to jack this thread, but I really resent this comment. When you say girls, I hope you mean girls, and not grown women. A young female may be unable to make up her mind, and may string along a guy, but those things come with immaturity. Once a young woman matures a little more, and gets a better sense of her place in the world, and what she wants in life, this behavior should not exist. It is wrong to put all females into one category, because it is an untruth. When you make a comment like "girls are bitches and cunts who can't make up their mind", it perpetuates a notion I simply cannot tolerate. I hope you were just acting on your own emotions and stating what you feel to be the truth about yourself. If not, I hope you'll wise up a bit, and start being a credit to your gender. I agree... I have met alot of women who are very true to there man... And who are very down to earth... Who have known what they wanted and never disrespected there loved one. Nice people do exist. But it seems very seldom can you find one in NYC... Some ladies take longer to realize the important things in life than other less educated ladies... We all know that... For some reason I think this is why I am attracted to women who already have a child... Most of them are so much more about what is important in a relationship than being more into the materialistic, partying all the time, going out all the time to have a good time instead of laying back and enjoying things as they come... The un-expected things... I will not shy away from a woman with a child... Never did before. My ex girl had a child and our relationship lasted over 4 years. It would be a plus to meet a woman who has the same morals as the ladies I have met with children. But without the children... That would be my perfect match... I dont know I am rambling... :blah: TO FLIP: Trust me... I do not NEED a women in my life to be happy. The year and a half that I was single I had a great time. I have great friends. Maybe they can be boring at times. But I always have someone there when I need someone. They will always be there... It is just nice to know when you go home from a long day at work. Or a stressful day in general. That there is someone there waiting for you. Or wanting your presence... Etc... Ya know what I mean... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mala Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 Yeah, its great to meet someone who has their priorities already in order, child or no child. Sorry to hear about the break-up. Keep your head up, and know that there are better women out there for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lustforyou Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 you got out sooner then later. somtimes these things can carry on for years. Dont let her actions change who you are stay strong a good one will find you. nice guys/girls do finish last thats cuz there are not too many of us out here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tommyarmani Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 My grandmother used to say "this too shall pass"But at the time she was suffering from severe alzhiemers....so what i advise is staying way from unstable girls otherwise you will get wrapped up in a big mess. thanks,Mrs. Garrett. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pookie23 Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 Originally posted by lustforyou you got out sooner then later. somtimes these things can carry on for years. Dont let her actions change who you are stay strong a good one will find you. nice guys/girls do finish last thats cuz there are not too many of us out here. I agree - keep your head up big man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexxyh Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 Originally posted by mrtiddles plenty of nice women out there...the good ones are ALWAYS hard to find though ~~that because they are too busy dating assholes...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastey Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 Originally posted by sexxyh ~~that because they are too busy dating assholes...... :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elementx Posted October 1 Author Report Share Posted October 1 Originally posted by sexxyh ~~that because they are too busy dating assholes...... Scary but true... Nice people always find the assholes... And Assholes seem to hunt on nice people... Therefore you never have 2 people who are nice and down to earth dating each other... Life has its wierd twists and turns... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastey Posted October 1 Report Share Posted October 1 Originally posted by elementx Scary but true... Nice people always find the assholes... And Assholes seem to hunt on nice people... Therefore you never have 2 people who are nice and down to earth dating each other... i like to think of it in terms of dominant (strong, "asshole/bitch") and submissive (weak, "nice guy/girl").the submissive go for the dominant because the submissive adore the dominants and look up to them, they want to be like them and feel attracted therefor.the dominant go for the submissive because they are easy to be tamed, fulfill their needs and wants and the submissives adore them like all the time, and naturally dominants like to shine. two submissive people dating isn´t working because uncounciously they hate being submissive and are constantly reminded that they are submissive because they see the traits in their partner and recognize them as their own.and two dominant people dating always ends up in disaster Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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