muzikchick Posted November 18 Report Share Posted November 18 Tools for Personal GrowthHandling InsecurityContent: What is insecurity? Why are people insecure? What do chronically insecure people believe? What are some negative effects of insecurity? How can insecurity be overcome? What steps can people take to handle insecurity? What is insecurity?Insecurity is: Feeling of not being ``good enough'' to meet the challenge of a situation you face in life. Sense of helplessness in the face of problems, conflict, or concerns. Belief that one is inadequate or incompetent to handle life's challenges. Fear of being discovered as inadequate, ill fitted, or unsuited to meet responsibilities at home, school, or on the job. Sense of not fitting in, being ``out of synch'' with those in your peer group. Perception that life is unpredictable with most of the expectations you have to meet not clearly understood. Sense of always climbing up a mountain, never being able to reach the top. Sense of lacking support or reinforcement where you live, work, or play. Results from a sense of being unaccepted, disapproved, or rejected. Inner turmoil coming from a lack of direction or bewilderment as to where you are going, what your goals are, and what responses are appropriate for events in life.Why are people insecure?Insecure people may have: Been raised in a chaotic, unpredictable, or volatile environment in which they were kept off balance, on guard, or on edge. Experienced a major tragedy or loss in their lives and are having a difficult time in accepting this loss and adjusting to the ``change.'' Experienced a major ``failure'' in life (e.g., divorce, losing a job, bankruptcy, failure in school, losing a friend, lack of acceptance into social or civic groups, etc.) that led them to question their personal competency. A poorly developed self-concept with low self-esteem, lacking belief in their personal goodness, skills, or abilities. Never felt accepted by the ``others'' in their life, so much so that they became chronically shy, retiring, and withdrawn in their interactions. Had an unrealistic list of rules and expectations prescribed by significant others in their life, rules they are striving to meet even in their current life. A poor body image, making them believe that others see them in a negative light. This makes them self-conscious, tense, and anxious in dealing with others. Never received enough positive reinforcement or feedback from others about their talents and abilities, leaving them unclear as to their skills. Been given very little direction, guidance, or discipline in their earlier lives leaving them unable to cope with the current pressures of life. Always felt overshadowed or overlooked due to the people in their lives who seemed to be more successful, smarter, prettier, more handsome, more athletic, higher achievers, getting much attention. This can foster doubt in an insecure person's ability to gain recognition for their successes, and can make them doubt their ability to achieve success. What do chronically insecure people believe? I can never accomplish the task facing me! Everybody is looking at me, just waiting for me to make a fool of myself! I am a failure! I am ugly and awful to look at! I can never win. I am a loser. What is the sense of trying, I'll never get it right! No matter how hard I work to achieve, I never get any recognition! I am incompetent in everything. How could anybody ever say anything good about me? I failed them in the past; therefore, I am a failure today! Once a failure, always a failure! There is only one direction for me to go in this organization and that is down and out! No one could ever like, respect, or accept me! I don't deserve to be treated nicely! I don't fit in here or anywhere else for that matter! Everyone else looks so good, so together; I feel so out of it compared to them! I am an incomplete person and will always be that way! I am so afraid that no one will like me! Why would anyone care to hear what I say, how I feel, or what I think? People are just nice to you in order to use you and get something they want from you!What are some negative effects of insecurity?People who are insecure can: Have difficulties in establishing healthy, long-lasting relationships. Be perceived incorrectly by others as being snobbish or uppity; therefore, they are avoided due to the others' misperceptions. Become victims of fears that impair their freedom of action or choice. Be candidates for paranoia feeling "others'' are out to get them. Scare others away from them by their defensive attitude. Be over-controlled emotionally, having problems letting others in on their emotions. This can lead others to guess what is going on until the passivity of the insecure person leads to an over-reaction by the others, resulting in conflict or rejection. Have problems on the job or in school when they have the knowledge, skills and abilities to do a task efficiently but are told to do it in a different, less effective manner. They get so uptight about the job and are fearful of standing up for what they believe that they get angry, hostile, and resentful until they either quit or succeed in submerging their emotions. Get passed over for promotions, advances, or honors because they are so quiet about what it is they do. This leads the insecure persons to feel more unaccepted, unappreciated, and under-valued. Become so inward that they seek to escape into their fantasy life rather than deal with the reality of their lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
househead24 Posted November 18 Report Share Posted November 18 Originally posted by muzikchick Tools for Personal GrowthHandling InsecurityContent: What is insecurity? Why are people insecure? What do chronically insecure people believe? What are some negative effects of insecurity? How can insecurity be overcome? What steps can people take to handle insecurity? What is insecurity?Insecurity is: Feeling of not being ``good enough'' to meet the challenge of a situation you face in life. Sense of helplessness in the face of problems, conflict, or concerns. Belief that one is inadequate or incompetent to handle life's challenges. Fear of being discovered as inadequate, ill fitted, or unsuited to meet responsibilities at home, school, or on the job. Sense of not fitting in, being ``out of synch'' with those in your peer group. Perception that life is unpredictable with most of the expectations you have to meet not clearly understood. Sense of always climbing up a mountain, never being able to reach the top. Sense of lacking support or reinforcement where you live, work, or play. Results from a sense of being unaccepted, disapproved, or rejected. Inner turmoil coming from a lack of direction or bewilderment as to where you are going, what your goals are, and what responses are appropriate for events in life.Why are people insecure?Insecure people may have: Been raised in a chaotic, unpredictable, or volatile environment in which they were kept off balance, on guard, or on edge. Experienced a major tragedy or loss in their lives and are having a difficult time in accepting this loss and adjusting to the ``change.'' Experienced a major ``failure'' in life (e.g., divorce, losing a job, bankruptcy, failure in school, losing a friend, lack of acceptance into social or civic groups, etc.) that led them to question their personal competency. A poorly developed self-concept with low self-esteem, lacking belief in their personal goodness, skills, or abilities. Never felt accepted by the ``others'' in their life, so much so that they became chronically shy, retiring, and withdrawn in their interactions. Had an unrealistic list of rules and expectations prescribed by significant others in their life, rules they are striving to meet even in their current life. A poor body image, making them believe that others see them in a negative light. This makes them self-conscious, tense, and anxious in dealing with others. Never received enough positive reinforcement or feedback from others about their talents and abilities, leaving them unclear as to their skills. Been given very little direction, guidance, or discipline in their earlier lives leaving them unable to cope with the current pressures of life. Always felt overshadowed or overlooked due to the people in their lives who seemed to be more successful, smarter, prettier, more handsome, more athletic, higher achievers, getting much attention. This can foster doubt in an insecure person's ability to gain recognition for their successes, and can make them doubt their ability to achieve success. What do chronically insecure people believe? I can never accomplish the task facing me! Everybody is looking at me, just waiting for me to make a fool of myself! I am a failure! I am ugly and awful to look at! I can never win. I am a loser. What is the sense of trying, I'll never get it right! No matter how hard I work to achieve, I never get any recognition! I am incompetent in everything. How could anybody ever say anything good about me? I failed them in the past; therefore, I am a failure today! Once a failure, always a failure! There is only one direction for me to go in this organization and that is down and out! No one could ever like, respect, or accept me! I don't deserve to be treated nicely! I don't fit in here or anywhere else for that matter! Everyone else looks so good, so together; I feel so out of it compared to them! I am an incomplete person and will always be that way! I am so afraid that no one will like me! Why would anyone care to hear what I say, how I feel, or what I think? People are just nice to you in order to use you and get something they want from you!What are some negative effects of insecurity?People who are insecure can: Have difficulties in establishing healthy, long-lasting relationships. Be perceived incorrectly by others as being snobbish or uppity; therefore, they are avoided due to the others' misperceptions. Become victims of fears that impair their freedom of action or choice. Be candidates for paranoia feeling "others'' are out to get them. Scare others away from them by their defensive attitude. Be over-controlled emotionally, having problems letting others in on their emotions. This can lead others to guess what is going on until the passivity of the insecure person leads to an over-reaction by the others, resulting in conflict or rejection. Have problems on the job or in school when they have the knowledge, skills and abilities to do a task efficiently but are told to do it in a different, less effective manner. They get so uptight about the job and are fearful of standing up for what they believe that they get angry, hostile, and resentful until they either quit or succeed in submerging their emotions. Get passed over for promotions, advances, or honors because they are so quiet about what it is they do. This leads the insecure persons to feel more unaccepted, unappreciated, and under-valued. Become so inward that they seek to escape into their fantasy life rather than deal with the reality of their lives. :laugh: :laugh: LOL WTF.... 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deepwetkisses Posted November 18 Report Share Posted November 18 Seriously you really need a therapist........I didn't realize you were a total headcase. Its a sad state of affairs. All this over a sound factory/jp thread...............u need to get a life..........i'm off to bed cause my Argentinian bi-sexual boyfriend and his gay lover want to have a threesome.............tata...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muzikchick Posted November 18 Report Share Posted November 18 Now, why am I not surprised she has to resort to sharing a man?????(maybe they can teach your know it all ass what "queening out" means)I don't share.Ta-fuken-ta. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
househead24 Posted November 18 Report Share Posted November 18 Originally posted by deepwetkisses Seriously you really need a therapist........I didn't realize you were a total headcase. Its a sad state of affairs. All this over a sound factory/jp thread...............u need to get a life..........i'm off to bed cause my Argentinian bi-sexual boyfriend and his gay lover want to have a threesome.............tata...... So yea............... i talk like this...............and put dots in the middle of my............ sentences cause umm..............i dont know what ridiculous thing to say next............so i really have to.............stop and think about.................what im about to say..............yea so its really hard to..............write complete sentences.............and to use periods...............and correct grammer.............Ok im going to bed..........now with my gay friends............Goodnight Physco! :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muzikchick Posted November 18 Report Share Posted November 18 :laugh: :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deepwetkisses Posted November 18 Report Share Posted November 18 your such a loser its sickening...............i love dots......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................i forgot u dont share anything except a double headed dildo with your dike girlfriends..........................................................................and sweetheart queening out is for men so get your gay terminology correct............................................................................................. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pookie23 Posted November 18 Report Share Posted November 18 Damn...a lot of newbies here now..when did this all happen? Carry on with your catfight Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomembername Posted November 18 Report Share Posted November 18 Originally posted by deepwetkisses i'm off to bed cause my Argentinian bi-sexual boyfriend and his gay lover want to have a threesome.............tata...... So basically you're going to get AIDS...enjoy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muzikchick Posted November 19 Report Share Posted November 19 I've heard the expression fag hag used for women who date gay men.Miss beauty school drop out is slacking off on her spell check, IT's DYKE. If you want to be spell check moderator, check yo' self.Typical hag, resentful toward the dykes, and acting as a sex prop during gay male sex. Self esteem must not be very good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caponeslistao Posted November 19 Report Share Posted November 19 omg... too much Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muzikchick Posted November 19 Report Share Posted November 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
princessofsf Posted November 19 Report Share Posted November 19 Miss Muzikchick, why are you so hostile? On every thread you post on you show your insecurities about yourself by attacking other people even when you don't have facts. You can't believe anything about JV that doesn't suit your fantasies, you attack people who follow Jonathan, how would you like it if I said you were a woman hating fag hag, or an unitelligent putz. You wouldn't be happy with that. Instead of attacking people you should say I love JV, you love JP thats cool. No one is right or wrong about what club they like or what DJ they like, we should be able to express our opinions about public figures without insulting individuals expressing their love for one dj or another. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muzikchick Posted November 19 Report Share Posted November 19 Originally posted by princessofsf Miss Muzikchick, why are you so hostile? On every thread you post on you show your insecurities about yourself by attacking other people even when you don't have facts. You can't believe anything about JV that doesn't suit your fantasies, you attack people who follow Jonathan, how would you like it if I said you were a woman hating fag hag, or an unitelligent putz. You wouldn't be happy with that. Instead of attacking people you should say I love JV, you love JP thats cool. No one is right or wrong about what club they like or what DJ they like, we should be able to express our opinions about public figures without insulting individuals expressing their love for one dj or another. Are you kidding me?? With the drama you added??? Be serious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
princessofsf Posted November 19 Report Share Posted November 19 You started the drama I'm just responding to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muzikchick Posted November 19 Report Share Posted November 19 Actually, you created it. Nevermind, it really isn't that important. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
princessofsf Posted November 19 Report Share Posted November 19 Thats right its not important. You like JV, I like JP. Just a difference in musical taste. And thats ok its the great USA and we can choose to not enjoy the same music. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
binarycool Posted November 19 Report Share Posted November 19 Originally posted by princessofsf You started the drama I'm just responding to it. For the record (from an unbiased party):princessofsf started with insults and put downs of JV fans and gays. so for her to blame muzicchick is really funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomembername Posted November 19 Report Share Posted November 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crackorn Posted November 19 Report Share Posted November 19 How hasn't this been moved to Drama yet? OK, carry on..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdeelite Posted November 19 Report Share Posted November 19 Originally posted by Crackorn How hasn't this been moved to Drama yet? OK, carry on..... Seriously!20 pages!!?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muzikchick Posted November 20 Report Share Posted November 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muzikchick Posted November 20 Report Share Posted November 20 A nice ending, to a very long thread, with a new beginning: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
princessofsf Posted November 20 Report Share Posted November 20 Binary you need to reread my posts. I never insulted gay people or JV fans, I only insulted JV. I expressed my opinion of JV just as Musikchick expressed her opinion of JP. I have alot of gay friends and never insulted anyone of any race, creed or religion. So get your facts straight. If you read a tread of someone gay bashing it wasn't me. I stated how I don't like JV cuz he calls women fish. If you read my prior threads I have told people they should not steriotype groups of people. Musikchick and I have some banter between us, however neither one of us were cruel to eachother. I am very careful not to insult people based on their race, religion, creed or sexual preference. I have even stated that call people fish, hos, bitches or faggots was an insult and not a joke. Yes I have insulted JV, I can't stand him, Just like if I don't like Bush I can say it, they are public figures and that happens but I never insulted the gay community. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muzikchick Posted November 20 Report Share Posted November 20 I'm having a Duncan moment, and it ain't about donuts.Originally posted by muzikchick Welcome to another day~~Everyone's looking, everyone hides Everyone's telling, but everyone lies We're changing the subject, we're turning away Away from the heart of it all You say you are happy Do you think this is fun? Well it's only a firefly to the light of the sun You say this is living, you feel so alive Well you know everything dies Even my wonder, even my fear Only amount to a couple of tears There is a rhythm, it's near and it's far It flows through the heart of us Welcome to another day It doesn't seem that different 'cause nothing has changed I try to remember, try to remember When we were just running in place Resons for living, never come cheap But even your best ones can put me to sleep What I am saying or trying to say Is that there must be a better way Even my wonder, even my fear Only amount to a couple of tears There is a rhythm, it's near and it's far It flows through the heart of us It's already in you, it's already there You may disagree, but I don't really care Did you ever find out, did you ever find out What's at the hear of us? Did you ever find out, did you ever find out What's at the heart? Tell me all you wildest dreams I don't really care if you don't know what they mean We're raiding the closets with skeleton keys You know it's easier than you think Even my wonder, even my fear Only amount to a couple of tears There is a rhythm, it's near and it's far It flows through the heart of us Your reasons for living are all very fine But they're leaving me cold, they're not really mine Did you ever find out, did you ever find out? What's at the heart of us? I don't know I don't know Duncan Sheik - Reasons For Living Lyrics Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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