EX question

[Destiny]

So here's the problem

My ex doesn't live around here anymore, but he's back for two weeks.

We had an EXTREMELY bad breakup...very very bad... and I spoke to him once after to tell him off. He just said to me that he's going to kick himself the rest of his life, that he's miserable, his life sucks, and loves me, and that no matter what happens he wants me to know that he's always there for me.

So here's the thing...I know we're going to run into each other somewhere while he's here. Do I act civil to him or just tell him off? Knowing him, he'll approach me, and I'm not exactly sure how to react.

I have a problem holding hard feelings toward anyone no matter what has happened, but that doesn't mean that I want to talk to him.

[mssabina]

just be civil and indifferent... avoid unneccessary drama.

[blondboheme]

be civil, throwing a fit would give him a sense of power over you, knowing he can still get you riled up, and it won't accomplish anything. it certainly wouldn't make him feel bad, it would only hurt you and ruin your night. when you bump into him just try to carry yourself with confidence and calmness and be as brief as possible. don't do what my ex's ex did, which is she came into the bar we were at and got so rowdy and belligerently drunk that she had to be carried out of the place slurring and crying. keep control of your emotions and your sobriety!!!!!!!!!

[bullseye]

sex

[coachjames]

Do NOT go off on him. It will just make YOU look like a fool and accomplishes no good purpose. Remember, you already broke up with him. It doesn't matter what he does, anymore. The best bet is to ignore him as much as possible, but NOT in an obvious manner. Just smile and say as little as possible. If you run into him at a party, subtly avoid him. Again, do NOT make a production out of it. Just stay out of his way and keep your cool. Otherwise, it will only make you bad.

[daveespa]

So here's the problem

My ex doesn't live around here anymore, but he's back for two weeks.

We had an EXTREMELY bad breakup...very very bad... and I spoke to him once after to tell him off. He just said to me that he's going to kick himself the rest of his life, that he's miserable, his life sucks, and loves me, and that no matter what happens he wants me to know that he's always there for me.

So here's the thing...I know we're going to run into each other somewhere while he's here. Do I act civil to him or just tell him off? Knowing him, he'll approach me, and I'm not exactly sure how to react.

I have a problem holding hard feelings toward anyone no matter what has happened, but that doesn't mean that I want to talk to him.

hun just go out and have a good time....there are soooo many fish in the water, dont settle on one!!!!!!....forget about ur ex!!

[iamsamurai]

just be civil and indifferent... avoid unneccessary drama.

yup yup

[djrx06]

So here's the problem

My ex doesn't live around here anymore, but he's back for two weeks.

We had an EXTREMELY bad breakup...very very bad... and I spoke to him once after to tell him off. He just said to me that he's going to kick himself the rest of his life, that he's miserable, his life sucks, and loves me, and that no matter what happens he wants me to know that he's always there for me.

So here's the thing...I know we're going to run into each other somewhere while he's here. Do I act civil to him or just tell him off? Knowing him, he'll approach me, and I'm not exactly sure how to react.

I have a problem holding hard feelings toward anyone no matter what has happened, but that doesn't mean that I want to talk to him.

You should only be focusing on you right now...if he doesn't fit into your equation then as they said before just be civil and indifferent. You should not feel accountable for any of his actions. If he was the cause of this then let him deal with the repercussions don't subject yourself to feeling bad for the situation.

That's a great quality not holding hard feelings towards someone regardless of what has happened but a line has to be drawn. If it affects you, you have to do something about it.

[nomembername]

I thought this thread was going to be about rolls

[iamsamurai]

I thought this thread was going to be about rolls

bummer huh

[fliptoniaaa]

do whatever advice u would give if u were the one reading this thread instead of the one that it was about!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Destiny]

hun just go out and have a good time....there are soooo many fish in the water, dont settle on one!!!!!!....forget about ur ex!!

maybe i should add that i have a hopefully permanent fish in my life .

if i saw my ex, i pretty much wanted to just ignore him, but knowing him he won't let that happen. im so not a vicious person, but after what happened im going to have to strongly resist the urge to punch him in the face. im going to just grit my teeth and flash a big smile and make him feel like an ass. if i do blow up, its just going to make me look bad.

thanks guys for the advice

[lalate]

So here's the problem

My ex doesn't live around here anymore, but he's back for two weeks.

We had an EXTREMELY bad breakup...very very bad... and I spoke to him once after to tell him off. He just said to me that he's going to kick himself the rest of his life, that he's miserable, his life sucks, and loves me, and that no matter what happens he wants me to know that he's always there for me.

So here's the thing...I know we're going to run into each other somewhere while he's here. Do I act civil to him or just tell him off? Knowing him, he'll approach me, and I'm not exactly sure how to react.

I have a problem holding hard feelings toward anyone no matter what has happened, but that doesn't mean that I want to talk to him.

This may be inconsistent with others would say. Biologically, it's unhealthy to leave pent up anger in you and give a politically correct hello/goodbye to him when you may really want to shout at him. If you wanta shout at him, and then you don't, no less than 20 minutes after the encounter happens you will be cursing about him nonstop in your mind. However, if you let it all out, and vent at him, you'll feel less internal conflict after the frustration occurs.

It's sort of like when someone does something to you. If you tell em off, you feel better about it the next day cuz you let it out. If you dont, you vent about it in your mind over and over.

If you see him, pull him ot the side where no one is around, and say what you wanta say, bluntly. Let whatever you feel out. ***You'll feel less internal unease after the encounter. Trust me. Good luck.

[kfitz73]

I agree with what some of the others have said. Be cordial, yet vague. If he starts asking you questions just give him generic, non specific answers. He might be looking for a way to get back into your life even if it's in a very small role. Basically you've got to portray that your life is going great without him and that's the way you want it to stay...

[missroxy]

act un affected. act like you have every other day while hes been gone.

i didnt read anyones replies so sorry if im just repeating whats been said

[magellanmax]

So here's the problem

My ex doesn't live around here anymore, but he's back for two weeks.

We had an EXTREMELY bad breakup...very very bad... and I spoke to him once after to tell him off. He just said to me that he's going to kick himself the rest of his life, that he's miserable, his life sucks, and loves me, and that no matter what happens he wants me to know that he's always there for me.

So here's the thing...I know we're going to run into each other somewhere while he's here. Do I act civil to him or just tell him off? Knowing him, he'll approach me, and I'm not exactly sure how to react.

I have a problem holding hard feelings toward anyone no matter what has happened, but that doesn't mean that I want to talk to him.

Let me see if i got this right, he doesnt live around you anymore........ he will be around for 2 weeks and you are sure you are gonna run into him .... if you know his hangout spots, why not just avoid the place altogether for a few days?....... sounds to me you got some unfinished business. It wont go away by cooking up ideas of how to react to him.

..and what in the world did he do ???? please call 1 800 96 JERRY and tell us about it.

[Destiny]

Let me see if i got this right, he doesnt live around you anymore........ he will be around for 2 weeks and you are sure you are gonna run into him .... if you know his hangout spots, why not just avoid the place altogether for a few days?....... sounds to me you got some unfinished business. It wont go away by cooking up ideas of how to react to him.

..and what in the world did he do ???? please call 1 800 96 JERRY and tell us about it.

yes im sure i'm going to run into him...i can't avoid the spots because if i want to go there, i'm going to go there, theres so many places he could be and i cant avoid everywhere...its just a matter of what im going to say if i DO run into him. I'm not cooking up ideas of how to react...did some thinking and i realized that i said my part to him, now when i see him he can say what he wants and illl let it go in one ear and out the other...something like what missroxy said...theres no point in upsetting myself all over again...

i already told him he was dead to me, and honestly, i dont think anything else i could say could be worse, and nothing he could say could ever make it better. now i know exactly how to be if i run into him