djrman Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 Here's my story.I've been married for about 2.5 yrs. The marriage has had its share of good/bad moments. Well, about 1 mnth ago, we got into an arguement and wifey took off with all her things to her moms house. I tried to make things better by seeking marriage counseling, but when I attempted to approach her at her job, she almost ran me over with her car. Then she calls me and tells me she wants nothing to do with me. Also tells me to stay away from her moms house, etc. I'm like, okay. I admit that I've been going through suffering and pain because of this. Therefore, I decided to go out and distract my mind to avoid the emotional downfalls. To make matters worse, she calls me to ask me what I was doing at such and such place. I'm like what the fk?? First you tell me you don't love me and don't want to be with me and now you're trying to tell me what to do?? Her excuse is that she doesn't want to run into me. Anyhow, she calls me days later to tell me that she's going away to gather herself and clear her mind of what she really wants. I'm like...this is crap. I'm not her boyfriend, I'm the husband. You should of thought about that before you got married. She left me with rent,expenses and didn't care of all that I was going through. In the meantime, she's been out clubbing and doing god knows what. Well, recently I received another phone call from her vacation who she went with her bro and her bro's best friend telling me how she misses me and can't get me out of her mind. Here's my dillema...I really don't know what to do. I do love her, but am hurt and full of anger. I told her where was her love when I really needed it. There was no point in going to another country to gather yourself to see what you really wanted. That in my mind is pathetic and only made things worse because it just plants the seed of doubt in my head. I'm sure she's not in a room just thinking about me. I don't know if it's worth me forgiving and giving it another shot or just ending this by getting a divorce and moving on with my life. She's going back to school and I get the impression that this was all planned out from the giddey up as a last thrill before she heads that route. I also am under the impression that she takes me for granted and feels that I would be there in the end with open arms. I feel that in her life first comes her mom,bro,friends, then me. The harm has already been done and this isn't the first time she runs to her moms house when we have an arguement. I can't fall into this trap because then it will just become a habit. What to do? I would appreciate any feedback and apologize for putting this up in this section of the board, but could use some serious advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stymie Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 way too long Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mystify Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 .....or you better not quit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomembername Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 repost it...you won't get better advice anywhere else and it's free Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sotuchick Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 DECIDED TO EDIT.I believe you guys should try counseling before making a decision that in the long run can be emotionally harmful to both of you .Also, if you feel you don’t play a major role in her life (I guess you should’ve though about that before getting married) if you really love her you should accept the fact you are not the protagonist and accept the role of an antagonist instead (only if you really love her) Try to work things out, be patient, and listen to how she feels before making a decision. Tell her the way you feel about everything that is going on and also, do not move in with her again unless you guys fix your current problems…I hope my advice works blondboheme 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kahn Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 dump her..........no seriously........dump her.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastey Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 do you seriously think anything will change man?cut your losses. the longer you wait the harder it´ll be. but it´ll end up this way anyway and you know it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondboheme Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 troof is, our best advice is not sufficient because with a marriage there is too much at stake to go with what any of us say! and it's not a black and white situation, there are a lot of gray areas that we know nothing about! hon, u need dr. phil!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAZE Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 do you seriously think anything will change man?cut your losses. the longer you wait the harder it´ll be. but it´ll end up this way anyway and you know it.Yea really. As Dr. Dre said, "You can't make a ho a housewife." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pk1 Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 This situation reminded me of the movie, Along Came Polly. Anyhow, are there any kids involved in this marriage? It doesn't sound like it. But if there aren't any children involved then my advice to you is ABORT! It ain't worht all the hell she will be putting you through in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nekokaburi Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 get counselling together, if she doesnt like it then tell her its either counselling or she gets the fuck out and stays out. if she does agree to the counselling, and everything works out, great, but if she pulls this shit again, i'd get a P.I. to try and get some ammunition for the upcoming divorce battle, and if i were in your shoes, there would be a divorce. Mystify 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 Sounds like the girl DEFINITELY wasn't ready for marriage. After you're married for 2.5 years, you don't go and say "i need time to think about this". Your girl seriously doesn't have it all together.It's really up to you, man. This time apart for her could have cleared her mind. You can try to give it another chance. ( i mean, you both got married. It's not something you should just throw away)But if she does any more crap like that, DEFINTELY leave the screwball! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tc55 Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 do the same thing to her......leave in the middle of the night. Got Ibiza call her in the middle of your massage tell her you'll be home for dinner and to pick up your clothes at the cleaners for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 Get a divorce, its the best policy in the long run. Chances are she's fucked around on you as well. I know thats pretty negative, but I'd bet everything in my bank accounts that its true.Women do this from time to time, its not your job to stand around until they've said 'enough' and decide to act civil. Cut your losses, keep it amicable (unless she doesn't want to, which is actually better for you because you won't have THAT many hard feelings about it), and then sign the papers. Make sure you get an attorney to lock it down tight though, none of this alimoney shit..In short: tip your hat, say goonight, and leave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nekokaburi Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 In short: tip your hat, say goonight, and leave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondboheme Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 btw babe, after reading yer post again, it sounds like you already know what you need to do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fliptoniaaa Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 get out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
majinbuu Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 stop the vicious circle...get out of the relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbbooom Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 gather all her shit next to the door. call her over and wait near the window. when you see her approaching the door, open it, throw her shit at her before she gets there and tell her to have a good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaredgirl Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 seems like she is SO in maturemmm Try to talk with her don't throw the towel so fast and if you see she is not answering or changing I think you should move on ...the minute you got married,the minute you are one of her priority.. your family is important too but you have to learn to put a line between your marriage,your family and friends ...... when people get involve in your relationship believe me is the worst can happen to you is not healthy at all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kahn Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 seems like she is SO in maturemmm Try to talk with her don't throw the towel so fast and if you see she is not answering or changing I think you should move on ...the minute you got married,the minute you are one of her priority.. your family is important too but you have to learn to put a line between your marriage,your family and friends ...... when people get involve in your relationship believe me is the worst can happen to you is not healthy at allwhere are you from? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deepspell Posted August 12 Report Share Posted August 12 where are you from? :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coachjames Posted August 13 Report Share Posted August 13 IF there are no children in this situation then absolutely, absolutely, absolutely get out. I realize you are too close to the situation to know what to do, but it is extremely obvious.If there are children involved, then you *both* need to get serious counseling and bear it out until the kids are grown.And not to be mean, but grow a backbone, otherwise you will always end up with women who treat you like shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nekokaburi Posted August 13 Report Share Posted August 13 gather all her shit next to the door. call her over and wait near the window. when you see her approaching the door, open it, throw her shit at her before she gets there and tell her to have a good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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